Super Tactical Unit: Re-Volt. Report on the Battle of Sarrish:
It has always been my duty, due to my programming, to uphold the responsibility of leading my regiment of the Separatist Droid Army to as many victories as possible. At the defense of Sarrish, a rightfully Confederate world in the Outer Rim, I commanded 200,000 B1 and B2 super battle droids, two dozen B3 ultras, 50,000 Vulture droids and droid tri-fighters, one thousand LM-432 crab droids of all sizes, five hundred Octuptarra droids, 70,000 commando droids, 10,000 aqua droids and five thousand manta droid subfighters for battle in the water, eight thousand Droidekas, and five hundred dwarf spider droids against the mighty Republic clone forces.
The clones had always had a habit of easily reducing battle droids to scrap metal, but much to General Grievous' satisfaction, my droids were given a boost in power and intelligence by Count Dooku himself. We faced the enemy with the confidence of soldiers that knew we were going to win a battle.
The Republic moved in with their AT-TEs and LAAT gunships, ready to take us out. My forces, supplanted by Hailfire tanks, AATs, OG-9 homing spider droids, and HMP droid gunships, advanced forward to meet them, and the battle began.
I soon learned that the Republic's strategy, as it so often was, was to have their troops charge the battle droids and pound them with their DC-15 blasters and bare hands, while using recon and air support to help the clones fight. Well, fortunately, the General saw it fit to put me in charge of this regiment of droids, and I wasn't about to let my troops simply wade headlong into the ranks of the clones and all get blasted. My strategy was to do what some of the better Jedi Generals did, to surprise the clones with multiple surprise attacks and box them in from all sides.
I gave the appropriate orders to each squad and platoon, and they moved in. Clone troopers destroyed many droid soldiers during the first hour, and the AT-TEs pounded many of our tanks with their turbolasers and laser cannons. However, as I stated, my troops were well designed and well programmed, above average compared to many other battle droids. The clone SCUBA troopers were all but sunk by our superior numbers of aqua droids and manta droids. Most of the Y-Wings, V-Wings, ARC-170s, and Z-95 Headhunters were shredded by our vultures and tri-fighters, not to mention their skillful buzz droids. The foot soldiers of the Republic were blasted to pieces by my proud B1, B2, commando, and Droideka units, and the so-called Muckrackers, the crab droids, short-circuited some UT-ATs and AT-OTs with the surrounding seawater and inlet water.
As the battle came close to an end, the hapless Jedi General in charge, a human male, made it to the area where my tank was. Needless to say, my blaster shots couldn't get past his lightsaber, but as an elite droid fighter in my own right, I was capable of keeping him distracted by my tank and some reinforcements until a B3 ultra battle droid came up behind him. He was too busy concentrating on the rest of us to notice the behemoth that is the Separatist Alliance's best foot soldier. The B3, whose designation is ED-207, blasted the Jedi scum in the back repeatedly, until he was sure the Jedi was dead. It may have been a little bit overkill, the firepower ED-207 employed to take the Jedi down, but with a Jedi, there's no such thing as overkill when you have to defeat one.
After the battle, most of the clones were also dead, except for a few dozen that had been ordered to retreat. Word was that there had been a Republic clone commando squad in the clone regiment. Three of their number lay dead on the ground with all the other clone corpses. We could not locate the fourth member, but even if he still lives, there is little that a single clone commando can do to stop one of the greatest regiments in the Separatist Droid Army.
Long story short, the Battle of Sarrish was a Separatist victory, though the Republic is more likely to call it one of their most devastating losses. Sarrish remains in Confederate hands and is still free to be an independent system. Please do not bother with any medals or official recognition for my forces or for myself; all the droid army does is fight to keep the Confederacy of Independent Systems alive, and that's enough for us.
Re-Volt out.