I really wanted to write a one-shot about Leah because she has to be one of my favorites if not the favorite in the books. I hope you enjoy it(: I do not own anything twilight!
People usually think, "God Leah, get over it already it was a year ago."
People usually think, "Why is she still so bitter? No wonder she can't move on."
People usually think, "What a harpy she needs to get over Sam already."
Well "people" can kiss my ass. Because I'll never get over Sam, and also because sweet innocent Emily isn't so perfect. She hurt me just as much as he did.
I'm not only hurting over losing the love of my life, I'm not only hurting over losing him to my almost sister, I'm not only hurting at the fact that he betrayed me, I'm not only hurting over the fact that I have to watch him and hear him and listen to his sympathy and anger and annoyance every single day.
I'm also hurting over her.
Emily.
Have you ever lost a cousin? Have you ever lost a best friend? Have you ever lost a sister? Combine all three, but make them like ghosts, you can see them and hear them and touch them, but no matter what they are in some way completely gone from you forever. This is just another grievance that burns the empty hole in my chest, each and every day.
At first I tried. I really did try.
So, so hard.
But I just couldn't do it because now, no matter what she says she didn't try. Not. At. All.
Sure she still talks to me and invites me over, but only now because she knows that I'll decline. Here's what really happened, what really went down between us.
After I phased I got the power of Sam's imprint on Emily, no matter how much I didn't want to, and how much I still resent it. I could feel the bind he felt towards her and I didn't let anyone see my bent out of shape about it. Not at first. Not when I thought that they still cared enough, at all, to take precautions of showing their mushiness around me. But they didn't so, I let it all go. Mosel tov Sam and Emily, Mosel tov.
I still called Emily every day. I still asked her to come hang out, and when we did hang out at first, before things stopped, I even got along with Sam, allowing my self to be a third wheel to make them happy.
But it didn't matter. I guess its true, you don't realize what you've got until its gone.
Eventually Emily and I would make plans just us, then she'd talk to Sam and they'd meet up, me in the backseat could only watch and count the raindrops on the window while they held hands and whispered. You'd think they would know.
Then we would make plans and she'd forget, start hanging out with Sam instead. And now, well now I've quit trying and I get blamed. But hey go ahead and blame me because if saving myself what last bit of sanity I have is a bad thing. I'll burn at the stake for it.
I'm tired of living for others. No more.