1
We all have secrets that, no matter how much we may want to, we can never share. Every strike, every cruel word, every glare. Behind that lurked my secret, screaming for release. But forever shall I deny it.
As your hair grows longer.
As I grow taller.
As you surpass me in height.
As the shadows lengthen, I shall deny it. Deny the one secret I kept from you.
As the glare in those crimson eyes is replaced with a dancing light. The glares reserved for Akito...and for myself.
As my youth slips from my fingers like sand.
As the clock chimes every passing year.
As a slight stubble grows on your chin, which you manage to keep at bay.
As the sun rises and sets, the three words I so desperately want to tell you remain behind the barrier of my lips. I may slip and nearly say it sometimes.
"What?" You growl at me.
"Nothing, stupid cat."
"Don't call me stupid!" Your eyes flash angrily, and I return it with a false smirk. But you are too blinded by hatred and anger to notice. I always catch myself, for I know better. My love wouldn't be accepted by you. There is no room in your heart for mine. And those who loathe you would loathe you all the more for such.
As death looms ever nearer, I shall allow myself to drift into the shadows, to watch you from afar, fantasizing of what could, but never will, be. Of your soft, pink lips on mine. Of you exchanging your hate for love. Of those three words coming from your blessed mouth in return for mine. Of a bright light entering those crimson eyes. Of my hands running through the orange locks. Of passionate touches and all the graces you and I could give.
As my heart swells every time I see you smile.
As all the world glows orange, red, pink, violet, blue, and gray in the coming of my last sunset.
As the shadows lengthen and my time on this earth comes to an end.
As I lay upon my deathbed, surround by the zodiac and Honda-san, you stand in the corner, leaning back against the wall. Nii-san's golden eyes shine bright with tears, while Honda-san desperately tries to hold back her own. While Hatori stands at my head, Akito on my other side. While Haru kneels beside my left hand, clutching the withered skin tightly. None of us are as young as we once were. The years have added lines of care to all of our faces, silver and white flecks our hair. My old, dimming eyes turn to you.
"Kyo," My withered lips rasp. You look up. Time has been good to you. Your face is not yet as lined as my own, and you walk freely and every step is sure. Honda-san moves aside to make room as you finally walk over.
"Yes?" You had married many years before, in secret. And you had grand children to carry on your legacy. The woman, her name was Haruka, had passed on a year ago, and you lived alone.
As my eyes darken slightly, I manage to say what my heart had wanted so desperately begged me to.
"Kyo...I...love...you." My last breath gone, I close my eyes, and my life slips away. I never heard your answer. I never will. But I finally said it.
I love you.