Disclaimer: I own Harry Potter, the books, the movies but I don't own the idea wish I did though.
Harry and Voldemort ask some questions. A few things that have bothered me about our favourite book series.
A/N this had been bothering me since I read POA.
"Professor, can I ask you something?" Harry Potter asked.
Dumbledore smiled. "Of course, Harry." He said warmly.
"You put my mum and dad under the Fidelius charm right?"
"Yes."
"And they used Wormtail as their secret keeper, but told everyone that they were using Sirius. And they didn't use Sirius because he was too obvious and Voldemort would go after him, and they were worried that somehow Voldemort would be able to get it out of him, right?"
"Yes." A sad nod.
"Then why didn't they just make Sirius the secret keeper and then have Sirius move in with him so he was safe? Or even move Peter in there and then he'd never have the chance to betray them."
Dumbledore looked blank. "Er,"
Harry looked expectant.
"We all make mistakes." Dumbledore finally said.
Harry nodded, thinking that over. "Can I ask you something else sir?"
"No."
Harry ignored him. "After my parents died, why didn't you take me in?"
Dumbledore looked relieved. "Because of the protection your mother gave you is only with you when your with your aunt."
Harry waved that away. "But Voldemort was always scared of you plus he was just a ghost or something and all his followers were in prison, dead or thought he was dead. Besides just how powerful can he be? I mean he keeps getting his butt kicked by a little boy and his two friends. It's rather pathetic."
"Er,"
"And everyone says that Hogwarts is the safest place there is."
"Er,"
"And can I ask you something else?"
"Merlin's ghost, no."
Once again Harry completely ignored him. "Why did Voldemort kill my mum?"
Again the Headmaster was glad he finally had a question he could answer. "Because Voldemort was a bad man, and bad men do bad things."
Harry have him a slightly disturbed look at the way he was talking to him like he was five. "No, I mean I heard that night when the dementor gets to close. Voldemort tells her to move, tells her to get out of the way."
Dumbledore nodded sympathetically. "I know, but your mother wouldn't move so Voldemort killed her."
Harry shook his head. "But why didn't he just stun her?"
"What?"
Harry nodded. "Yeah, why not just stun her, kill me and then wake her up, brag about how he killed me, and mosey on his way?"
(In a secret hideout not as far away as you might think a very pale man with red eyes closed his eyes, slapped his forehead and winced. "Why didn't I think of that?")
"Harry?" The Headmaster finally said.
"Yes Professor?"
"Go to class."
A/N this is something that's been bugging me since I read GOF.
Voldemort was sitting in a throne looking moody. His Death Eaters were standing around looking worried because everyone knows that other than Harry Potter the only people who should be afraid of Voldemort are his followers.
"Snape!" Voldemort suddenly bellowed making everyone jump.
Snape who had been standing right next to the throne kissed Voldemort's robe (Obviously he's never heard of germs) "Yes my scary lord."
"What is the motto for Slytherin?"
"Something or another about cunning, your greatness." Snape said in a oily tone that matched his hair.
"And what dose cunning mean?"
Without pause Snape conjured a dictionary. He opened it with a flick of his wand because obviously it was to beneath him to actually do anything like a muggle. When he got to the page he cleared his throat.
"1 : dexterous or crafty in the use of special resources (as skill or knowledge) or in attaining an end a cunning plot
2 : displaying keen insight a cunning observation
3 : characterized by wiliness and trickery cunning schemes
4 : prettily appealing : cute a cunning little kitten
synonyms see clever, sly." Snape quoted.
"I KNEW IT!" Voldemort bellowed
Everyone jumped, a few people even wet themselves.
"What do you know, great and scary Lord of all?" Snape said his voice dripping silk or was it oil? Who cares? He's a bad guy.
"If I am so filled with cute cunning little kitten- no wait I didn't mean Kitten I hate kittens, I drink kitten blood for breakfast! I am the king of evil Bwhahahaha." Voldemort stops his evil girlish laugh because he chokes. Once he's better he looks at Snape who is rethinking why he joined the creepy snake man. "What was I saying?"
"We were talking about cunning."
For a moment Voldemort looked blank before dawning came into his red eyes. "Right, tell me then if I am the heir of Slytherin shouldn't I be the personification of cunning."
Snape nodded.
"Then tell me, why would I put a great big mark on my followers that's so easy to see?"
Snape looked blank.
Voldemort stood. "I mean if I want the powerful ones to hide among the other side don't they need to be sneaky? And how can they be sneaky when in the middle of a hot summer day, they wear long sleeves? I mean isn't that a little conspicuous? Not to mention if you want to know who my followers are, all you have to do is ask them to roll their sleeves up and there's a great honking dark mark."
Snape blinked.
Voldemort looked expectant.
Snape opened his mouth.
Voldemort looked hopeful.
Snape closed his mouth.
He had nothing.
Voldemort frowned.
"Not so cunning now am I?"
"Like a cute little kitten?" Snape offered hesitantly.
"Crucio!"
A/N hehehehe, I liked writing that, and those are some things that bothered me for a while now. I said I was going to write something fluffy but I decided to write this instead. It's not filled with HHR goodness but it got me out of the angst. I was going for something stupid and silly and I think I got there. And the definition for 'Cunning' is from my dictionary on my computer.
Thanks for reading, and if you read, please review.
Below are some cute things I thought up for HHR shippers,
A adult H/HR shipper commandants
1 Thou shalt not pick a fight with five year old about who belongs with who. (No it doesn't matter if he/she insists that Ron and Hermione belong together, you will look like an idiot picking with someone half your size.)
2 Thou shalt not see a copy of HBP in a bookstore or library and scream obscenities.
3 Thou shalt not see a copy of HBP in a bookstore or library and set it on fire screaming BURN BABY BURN!
4 Thou shalt not pick a argument with significant other about your ship that nearly results in break-up, divorce, or homicide.
5 Thou shalt not write threatening letters to JKR.
6 Thou shalt not be sitting on the bus and randomly scream POWER TO THE PUMPKIN!
7 Thou shalt not go onto R/HR sites and write "Anyone who thinks Ron and Hermione should be together are poop heads."
8 Thou shalt not burn your own copy of HBP.
9 Thou shalt not try to cast the Imperius curse at JKR because it's not real and won't work.
10 Thou Shall, NEVER give up on our favourite ship. HHR belong together no matter what.