Author's note: If you're at all offended by Scotland's attitude to this then my apologies. However, I will remind you that I am Scottish, and all my friends from Scotland {as well as myself} burst out laughing at the sheer absurdity of the situation the day it happened, and still laugh when it's brought up.
Scotland sighed as he waited in line with the rest of the people waiting to check into the flight to Canada. Why did he decide the Glasgow fortnight holiday would be a good time to visit his nephew again? He checked his watch impatiently, it was ten past three in the afternoon and his flight was due to leave in about an hour. A sudden crash at the front door caused the Nation to whirl around just in time to see a Jeep that had been set alight crash into the bollards. He blinked a little at the sight; that was a little odd. Seconds later the airport terminal erupted into confused chaos as people tried to scramble away from the burning jeep. Scotland suddenly found himself being dragged along with the rest of the people in the area to a safe distance. He heard several people cry out 'terrorists' in alarm, while the rest started shouting and yelling about their flights. Scotland narrowed his eyes, if someone was trying to disrupt travel in his house, there was going to be hell to pay. He started forcing himself through the crowd,
"Excuse me, let me through please." He called as he picked his way through the throng of people, trying t get the attention of the nearest security guard, who was trying to calm a rather hysterical young lady down,
"'Scuse me lads, whit the bloody hell is gauin' on?" he asked bluntly. Scotland had never been one to beat about the bush, and he saw no reason to start now. The security guard looked up at him impassively,
"Sir, if you could please remain calm while the security forces deal with this." He told the nation in a fairly patronising tone. Scotland scoffed and rolled his eyes,
"I am calm," he replied, "I'd just like tae ken whit's gauin' on so I can call ma nephew to let him know why I won't be at his place for the next coupla days." The security guard nodded over to the main terminal doors,
"Well, as you can plainly see sir, we've got a couple of idiots that decided to try driving a burning jeep into the middle of the terminal." He replied, "Why they've done that..." Scotland snorted,
"I dinnae want tae cause a panic or nothin' but I think that might hae been deliberate." He noted, raising an overly large eyebrow. The security guard glared at him,
"I would refrain from mentioning that." Scotland waved his arm at the people behind him,
"I dinnae see many people here looking scared oot their wits. I think most o' them are pretty damned pissed off actually." He said, looking over his shoulder, only to see most of his citizens muttering under their breath and nodding along with him. Everyone's attention was suddenly caught by some screaming and shouting coming from the terminal doors. Scotland watched as the driver got out of the jeep, his clothes burning, and started picking a fight with the police,
"Well... that's one guy determined tae stick it tae the man." He noted with amusement. Several people were now joining him and craning their necks to get a better look at what was going on. Suddenly someone tackled the burning man and started to 'apprehend' him. A cheer rose up from the crowd, and Scotland was happy to join them, if this was supposed to be a terrorist attack then it wasn't being very successful. Scotland started as his mobile went off,
"Hullo?" he called over the noise of the crowd cheering the security guard on. Canada sounded utterly confused as he heard the noise in the background,
"Hello, uncle Scotland. I just noticed that your flight had been cancelled. What on earth is going on over there?" he asked nervously. Scotland laughed as he watched the driver of the jeep finally get arrested after his clothes were put out,
"Just an attempted terrorist attack gone wrong Mata, nothin' tae worry aboot." He replied cheerily. Canada yelped a little,
"A terrorist attack? Oh maple, are you alright, should I call Arthur?" he asked quickly until a hearty chuckled cut him off,
"I said attempted laddie. A couple of laddies tried to drive a Cherokee Jeep that wis on fire through the terminal doors at the airport." He laughed, "The bloody thing's got stuck in the bollards and the driver's just got the shit beaten oot of him by a really pissed off Glasweigan bloke." Canada went quiet with shock for few moments, making Scotland wonder if they'd been cut off when his nephew finally replied,
"Really?" he asked, "Well, that sounds pretty stupid." He noted. Scotland laughed again,
"It is pretty stupid quite frankly. I'll call you when we're let oot of here to gie ye all the details ok? Call Arthur fer me, no doubt he'll want tae hear aboot this." He said. Canada chuckled,
"I'll call him now then." He agreed, "Take care Uncle." He said as he hung up. Scotland shook is head as he looked at his watch, it was twenty-five past three and it looked like things were winding down already. He flipped his phone open again and called his First Minister, no doubt the man would get a proper laugh out of this.
...
Two hours later
"... I ken; it was the maist surreal thing I've ever seen." Scotland laughed as he laid back on his hotel room bed. England had finally gotten around to calling Scotland about the attempted attack and now the two brothers were bonding over their shared hilarity over it. Scotland shook his head when England replied,
"No no, I'll probably get the first flight tomorrow, nae use tryin' to get one the day like." He paused as England replied, "Yeah I'll make sure he kens. A'right England, bye." He hung up, still grinning like an idiot. If there was one thing the terrorists were going to take away from that fiasco; it was not to piss off Scottish people that were desperate to get away on holiday. In fact, Scotland mused, it was probably best if they didn't try to attack his home again. They'd probably get murdered in the attempt.