The Deepest Hurt

Chapter One

"Mega", Java asked as she entered the room her voice softer than normal as her big brown eyes looked up at him sadly, and she moved timidly forwards. The room seemed to grow, as if she was so dirty that even the walls had too get away from her. Every second of the day she felt unclean now, even when she was in Mega's strong arms at night in their world of sighs and pleasures, she just could not forget the feel of Ram's lips on her. His soft words, his promises haunted her until she knew that she could not longer hide it.

As she drew nearer to Mega she felt a wave of dizziness hit her as she was so terrified, she had never felt this scared before in her life, she guessed that this was the penalty that one had to pay for being stupid enough to fall in love … especially with Mega. If only she could go back to the time before she knew that she loved him, life had been so simple then.

Her knees buckled slightly as she took a few more steps forward but did not appear to be getting any nearer to her target, and her throat ached increasingly as her dizziness soared to brand new heights.

Upon hearing his name Mega looked up already knowing that the accented purr belonged to none other than Java. He did not need to glance at the clock to know that this was not a usual time for Java to come and see him or to know that something was wrong with her.

"What is wrong, Java?" He asked and seeing that she was about to drop moved swiftly to her side and help her to a seat, wondering what was wrong as he had never seen her look so small and powerless before.

As she heard his almost tender inquiry Java looked down and her bottom lip quivered, her face turning ugly as she tried stop the tears flowing and to find the words to tell Mega about the kiss, about how she had cheated on him. After a moment she opened her mouth to speak, her gaze remaining fixed on her wringing hands in her lap, yet no words were forthcoming.

Mega sighed as he realised that he would have to help her to say what she wanted to say, his first thought was to force it out of her but the memory that it was Java stopped him from doing that and instead pulled his chair in front of her and sat down. He reached his hand out to cover hers and to stop her wringing them.

Java's breath caught in her throat as she felt his presence nearing her and the delicious warmth swept over her as his hand grasped hers. Unable to look at his face she examined his hand; it was much larger than hers and surprisingly soft.

Another sigh escaped Mega's lips as realised that she was not going to offer up what was wrong. Without thinking he reached out and caressed the side of her tear stained face gently and lifted her chin so that she was looking directing at him.

"What is the matter Java?" He repeated calmly, with the message that he could wait as long as she could and an under tone of concern.

His eyes. So beautiful and so dark. It was just too much for Java and she sobbed, "Ram … I … kiss", the words only just audible over the choking sounds for her tears. Yet Mega heard every single one.

The chair that he had been seated on went flying as he shot up; his fists clenched a stern grimace on his features. Unable to hide his emotions he turned away from her until he had himself better composed. How could she do this to him? Did their relationship really mean that little to her? And Ram, he would break that bastard's neck.

Java had thought that Mega questioning her had been bad, yet she felt no better when he was not saying anything and beseeched him, "Please say something Mega". Finally she had calmed down just enough to be able to speak properly.

"Like what? That I am hope that you will be happy together? That I will be more than happy to baby sit your brats? Hell no. Go off with Ram if that is what you want but do not expect me not to try hurt Ram and any brats that you have", Mega said, with his back to her.

"Actually no let me rephrase that. I would hunt every single one of them out and subject them to tortures beyond your wildest imagination and that is nothing compared to what I will do to Ram. I gave you plenty of chances to say that you loved Ram but you just could not do it could you, you just had to show yourself to be the bitch that you are and wait until", Mega broke off; he was not about to say 'until I cared about you'. He would not show himself to be weak and so instead he said, "until now".

"Mega listen to me. I did not mean to do it. I did not want to. It … it was a mistake I do not want to go off with Ram, I never have done and I never will. You are the one that I want", Java begged him to believe her not being able imagine life without him.

At the words, "I did not want to", Mega grabbed the top of her arms gently and pulled her closer, "What was that Java? Who initiated the kiss?" If he found out that Ram had done it, if Ram had kissed his Java then he would break his spine or better yet keep him alive for years to torture in cyber space.

"He did", Java almost shouted, she was so desperate to get Mega back, "It was all him. I was just standing there and he came onto me. I told him that I was not interested but he kissed me anyway. I stopped it and did not want to tell you because I knew that you would be mad but in the end I just had to as I could not live with myself".

Flash Back

"Well well well, what do we have here?" Java chuckled evilly as she walked into Ram's office that he was using in the Techno Base, "Poor little Ram, no title, no wife, no nothing", she mocked him. Then leaning close to give him a good view down her top before whispering in his ear, "Tell me babe, what does it feel like to go from having everything to being the scum of the earth and knowing that I could have you killed with just a word?"

Ram's heart rate accelerated slightly as he felt her hot breath on his neck and saw the wonderful sight. He wanted her so badly that he could almost taste it; there was just something about her that he had to have even though she was so utterly horrible.

"I do not know how does it feel to be Mega's little worker? Just another Techno to do his bidding. You were a queen when you were with me. Now you are just one of the crowd. One of the many Techno whores", Ram goaded her. He knew very well that she was Mega's woman but he also knew that they were keeping their relationship a secrete and that he could taunt her with it.

"You do not know what you are talking about", Java hissed standing back up straight and giving him a dirty look. That was all the inspiration that Ram needed to stand up straight with a cocky smile and walk up to Java, "Don't I?" He raised one eye brow as he looped his arm around her waist.

"No you do not", Java snapped back but did not make any move to remove his arm or to distance herself form him. The reason for this was because Java had imagined herself being held by a walking Ram so many times in her dreams that she had not noticed that this was reality - and she was still slightly attracted to him.

"Well then, I guess that there is no truth in my theory that you are still in love with me", he smiled slightly as he noticed that she was about to protest but he pressed one finger to her lips before caressing her full lower lip with his thumb.

Java let out a low moan as his thumb tickled her senses, she wanted to deny it and pull away but she just could not.

"Why?" She asked, "Why do you only pay attention now that you are well, now that I do not want to be with you?" With a glimmer of a tear in her eye, there was just something about him which drew her to him even though she loved Mega with all of her heart.

"I am sorry Java", Ram announced his tone becoming grave, "I never meant to hurt you. I have always loved you I was just so afraid of catching something that I could not let you get close to me. I am really sorry. If I had another chance then I would do things differently".

"Oh yeah? Like what?" Java snapped without thinking, the wounds from her failed marriage still fresh in her mind.

"Like this", Ram said, as his head descended on hers, his soft lips plundering hers in a gentle embrace. He knew that that might be his only chance to kiss those lips that he had dreamed out and so he made the most of it, pouring his heart and soul into that one caress.

When the thirst for oxygen finally became too great to be ignored Java pulled away breathing heavily and looking into his eyes.

"I am sorry. I cannot do this. However much I may have loved you at one time, that is no longer the case. You cheated on me, with Ebony of all people".

End Flash Back

"Did he force you?" Mega asked her simply, looking hard at her as if trying to see her thoughts through her eyes and into her soul.

Java looked up at Mega and saw the man that she wanted to be with, the man that would offer her a future and who had never – to her knowledge – had a crush on her little sister. But then there was Ram. The odious wretch that had had the nerve to cheat on her and leave her heart broken, he deserved to die a horrible death which was what possessed Java to look up and Mega and nod her head.

Mega stroked her braids as if trying to consol her before saying, "I will sort everything out". Once she was quite recovered he even walked her to the door and gave her the rest of the day off.

Once she was gone he walked back over to his computer and after pressing a few keys a picture of Ram and Java filled the screen and Java's taunts filled the room.

As he watched the scene that had really occurred between Ram and Java, Mega smiled a small, sadistic smile.

"Now I have you just where I want you, darling".