Being James Potter

She wakes to the sight of Sirius Black, of all people.

"Did it work?" he asks, shoving her arm, and she cringes at the sound of his voice. "Prongs? Can you hear me?"

"How'd you get in the girls' dormitory?" she tries to ask, but after the first two words she cuts herself off and clutches her throat. Her voice comes out sounding husky, with a deepness too significantly different from her normal voice to be written off by sleepiness. "What's happened?" she asks, blinking hard, but the room won't come into focus (except for Sirius' face, which is pressed so close to hers that their noses nearly touch).

Sirius pulls back slightly. "What's your full name?" he asks.

"What do you mean, what's my full name? Sirius Black, get away from me this instant or I'll report you to McGonagall."

Sirius breaks into a grin. "Lily? Is that you?"

"Who else would it be?"

Sirius lets out a whoop so loud that Lily flinches. "We did it, boys!"

"Did what?" Lily sits up, rubbing at her eyes. The blurry forms of Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew lurk near the back of the dormitory. "How did you all get in here? The enchanted stairs—"

"We're not in the girls' dormitory," Sirius says. "You're in our dormitory."

Lily looks around; sure enough, in spite of her inexplicably fuzzy vision, she recognizes Sirius' motorcycle posters, Peter's worn trunk, Remus' hoard of chocolates spilling over the dresser. "Why am I here?"

Sirius pursed his lips. "That's a long story, actually."

Lily folds her arms. "Start talking."

"Well, last month that Ravenclaw git Taylor told Prongs—erm, I mean, James—that he fancied you."

Lily sits up a little straighter. "Adam Taylor? The seventh year?"

"Yes, him. Git. Everyone knows Prongs has staked his claim on you."

Lily narrows her eyes. "I'll let that slide until you finish the story."

"Well, James and Taylor made a bet: whoever can take you on the most romantic date wins, and the other has to back off."

Lily's jaw actually drops. "You lot are barking mad. I'm not some kind of prize to be won. I'm a human being, and just because two boys find themselves attracted to me doesn't mean—"

"Yeah, yeah, spare me." Sirius rolls his eyes in Remus' direction.

"It's a stupid bet, Lily," Peter says. "But you know James. There's no talking him out of something once he's set his mind to it."

"Just finish the story," Lily says through gritted teeth. "Did you kidnap me to keep me away from Taylor?"

"Not exactly."

"What, then?"

Sirius looks equal parts uncomfortable and proud. "It was my idea."

Lily groans.

"I said we needed to get a look in your diary—you know, to find out what you think is romantic. So we brewed a—"

"I don't keep a diary."

"Well, we didn't know that."

Lily lets her head drop into her hands. "What did you brew?"

"A body-switching potion that—"

Her head snaps back up so fast it hurts her neck. "A body-switching potion?"

Sirius nods. "Men can't get into the girls' dormitory. But a man in a woman's body…."

For the first time since waking up, Lily looks down at her hands. They're larger than usual, with nails clipped short and hard, smooth calluses on the pads of the fingers. These are not the hands she owned when she went to sleep. "So—so I'm in James Potter's body right now? And he's in mine?"

Sirius grins. "He's been making jokes about getting inside of you for weeks." He leans down to the dresser and picks up something spindly. "Here."

Lily takes the object with James' hand and recognizes it as a pair of glasses. As she slides them over her nose, the dormitory comes into focus. "How long does the potion last?"

Sirius' eyes dance. "Forever. It's permanent."

"It lasts twenty-four hours," Remus says, rolling his eyes and coming forward to sit at the foot of James' bed. "And I tried to talk them out of all this."

Lily glares around at the three boys. "I'll have you all reported to McGonagall, I swear," she says, throwing back the covers—and then immediately pulling them back on again.

Sirius and Peter are roaring with laughter, and even Remus lets out a few chuckles. "James sleeps naked," he says as Lily clutches the covers around her waist, face beet-red. "Here, Lily. Let me get you some clothes."

When James wakes up in Lily's bed, he loses no time in scrambling around to her trunk and riffling through in search of her diary.

"Lils?" mumbles Marlene McKinnon from the four-poster across the room. "What're you doing?"

"Looking for my diary," James says, barely glancing up at Marlene and her skimpy blue nightgown. (All right, he lets his eyes linger for a second or two, but nothing too extreme.)

"You keep a diary?"

James freezes. "Don't I? Girls usually do. In books, and whatnot."

Marlene shrugs and rolls over. "I don't. I've never seen you writing in one. It's six in the morning, Lily."

This thought has never crossed James' mind: she doesn't have a diary. How is he supposed to figure out what she thinks is romantic without the help of a diary?

"McKinnon," he hisses, and she lets out a sleepy, "Hmm?"

"What do I think is the most romantic date in the world?"

"How should I know? Why're you calling me McKinnon?"

"Haven't we ever…I dunno, gossiped about it?"

"Gossip? You and me?" Marlene sits up, frowning. "Are you feeling okay?"

James sighs. "I'm fine," he says, closing Lily's trunk and dropping his chin to his neck. "Just fine."

When James comes down to the common room, Lily is waiting.

"You," she hisses, starting toward him, and he feels as if he's in a weird nightmare, watching his own body chase him down.

"Lily," he says, backing away with his hands up, palms facing her. "Calm down. You could do some serious damage if—"

She shoves him. The strength of his body, combined with the lack of balance in hers, causes James to tumble to the floor. "Take a second to be rational," he says. "You don't want to hurt yourself."

"You switched bodies with me over a bet?"

"I did, and I'm sorry, but—"

"It's stuff like this that makes me not want to go out with you! This is so far beyond a prank. This is a blatant disregard for my privacy, my personal rights—and you dare to wonder why I've never wanted to go out with you, James!"

People begin to come out of their dormitories to see about the commotion. "Why is Potter yelling at himself?" asks a third-year.

"Break it up, break it up," says Sirius, diving between James and Lily as Lily raises her (James') fist. Remus and Peter come to stand next to Lily. "James, it might be best if you get out of here for awhile."

"Oh, don't you dare go anywhere," says Lily, glaring at him (at herself?) from around Sirius' arm. "I'm nowhere near finished with you—"

"Lily," Remus says quietly, "do you understand that to the rest of the common room, this looks like James is threatening to hurt you?"

"I—"

"It could get ugly if people try to defend him—erm, you—and spells start flying."

"I don't care if—

"And if you do attack him, you're only going to be injuring your own body." Remus jerks his head toward James, who is trying to fend off a hug from a sobbing Marlene McKinnon. "Just let him get out of here and go hole up somewhere for the next twenty-four hours while you wait for the potion to wear off."

Lily narrows her eyes at the boy in her body. "Fine." She points at him. "You. Out."

"Don't tell her what to do," says Marlene, drawing her wand. "I'll hex you into oblivion, Potter."

"No need for that," Peter says, but James is already heading for the portrait hole and disappearing from sight.

Adam Taylor waits outside Gryffindor Tower with a bouquet of flowers. "Lily!" he says when he sees her emerge through the portrait hole. "I wanted to give you—here." He thrusts the flowers toward her. "They're lilies. Like your name."

Lily looks at the flowers like they're going to bite her. "Shove off, Taylor."

Adam feels himself redden. "Sorry?"

Lily looks over her shoulder at the portrait hole. "I'm choosing Potter."

His heart sinks. "Potter? But you hate him. Everyone knows that."

Lily shrugs. "I s'pose I'm not feeling like myself today."

He forces a laugh. "I'll say. What brought about this change?"

She shrugs again. "I dunno, really. He's—damn, he's horrible to me. He has no respect for my privacy, or anything. But, erm, I think—I've got a feeling that's all going to change. Soon. Tomorrow, in fact."

"What makes you so sure?"

"I think he's finally starting to see some things from my perspective." She nods once, firmly. "See you around, Taylor."

She stalks away, fists clenched, posture straighter than he remembers it being, and Adam, feeling slightly disappointed but by no means heartbroken, wanders back to Ravenclaw Tower.

Lily wakes up the next morning in her own body.

She opens her eyes and looks around at the familiarity of her own dormitory, and lets out a happy sigh.

Over in the boys' dormitory, she can hear James Potter screaming as the enchanted bees she'd left buzzing around his bed swoop down to sting him.

This day is going to be much better than the last.

Quidditch League Finals, Round 2: Fanfiction clichés

Holyhead Harpies, Seeker

Prompt: Bodyswap

Word Count: 1,496

[Restricted Collection: No spells can be cast/mentioned]