No Longer Here
Notes: Find me on Tumblr at spoopercorp and on AO3 as Local_Asshole.
Summary: "There was a moment of silence as Kara gazed out the office's panels of windows into the nearly starless night sky.
Lena noticed the distant and somewhat detached twinkle in her look, somber and forlorn and lonely.
Just like her own."
"You don't think I should feel guilty for...for not wanting to see that monster, right?" Lena asked, uncertain and picking at her donut.
"Well, do you think that you'd find peace of mind by visiting her and telling her how you really feel?" Kara answered with a question, casually leaning back and sinking into her friend's office couch.
Lena's expression was downcast, focusing her attention on the sugary goodness in her hands, "Even if I did it wouldn't make a difference…"
There was a pause, heavy and crestfallen.
"She's been the same way since the day I met her…"
Kara exhaled through her nostrils and adjust her glasses higher up her nose, "I've spent most of my life wishing I could talk to people that are no longer here…"
Her voice trembled and cracked slightly at the last word, her sentence nearly faltering.
She pressed her lips together tightly for a moment before loosening the tension to face Lena again, her voice stronger.
"She's still here..."
The Luthor looked on somberly, glancing upon the surface of Kara's vulnerability and broken, but fixed heart before it closed up again.
Lena's icy green eyes thawed as they locked with the soft, but bright blue ones in front of her.
Kara's lips tilted, a grin playing at her lips, but instead she opted to form a smile that took on half of her face.
It still managed to make Lena's heart throb with adoration.
"She's still your mom…"
The Luthor managed to hold back a disbelieving scoff and sighed in place of it, "Yeah…"
There was a moment of silence as Kara gazed out the office's panels of windows into the nearly starless night sky.
Lena noticed the distant and somewhat detached twinkle in her look, somber and forlorn and lonely.
Just like her own.
But Kara's expression held hope and optimism as well.
Lena found herself slightly jealous of it, of the warm melancholic look that would never match her coldness, of the blonde's friends and family.
Family.
Her eyes widened just a fraction at a realization, and she looked back up to see that her only friend was still glancing out the windows, her mind echoing with emptiness as it wandered elsewhere.
"Do you miss them?"
Kara turned to face the C.E.O., confused, "What?"
"Your family."
The blonde's eyes widened as well, surprised and a bit flustered that her friend was able to easily see through her with just a few words she had said.
"Yeah. I do," she replied, just in time for Lena's shoulders to deflate in relief that she had not crossed a boundary.
Still, there was an unanswered question that the Luthor was much too afraid to ask, the subject already bordering on tentativeness and almost taboo.
But Kara could sense the curiosity emanating from her friend, and she did not mind elaborating anyway, as long as she could keep her identity a secret.
"They died when I was thirteen."
Lena nodded, understanding and empathetic, waiting for her to continue.
She mistook the pause for hesitance, but Kara was able to find her voice again.
"My parents were everything a kid would want them to be; they were smart, kind, caring…" she trailed off and sighed when her mind wandered to Project Medusa and the origins of the destruction of Krypton, "But, of course, they had their flaws too, made mistakes."
Another pause as Lena looked on with piqued interest and sympathy.
"I was adopted at that age too, by the Danvers. Alex...she didn't really like me at first - scratch that - she did not like me for a long time actually."
"Someone not liking Kara Danvers? That's unheard of," Lena teased.
The blonde chuckled heartily and the Luthor found that it was one of the most beautiful sounds she had ever heard, melodious and gentle and passionate.
"Well, believe it or not, Alex didn't like me, but I understood; I took the attention away from her. Away from her birth parents. She didn't want to share their affection with a girl that just spontaneously was adopted by them."
Kara sighed, "Eventually, she warmed up to me and now our bond is unbreakable. She's the best sister anyone could ever have; she's awesome, smart, badass...but then again, I'm pretty biased."
She laughed again and Lena found her heart beating faster at it the second time.
The blonde shook her head, frowning, "But...things kind of got out of hand when Jeremiah…" she paused, "When he died… Things got tough, but we all pulled through, we're tough women."
Kara sighed as tears began to prick her eyes and she interlaced her fingers together, pushing and pulling and fidgeting in the absence of a throw pillow for her to squish to no end, "Then my aunt came for a little...visit," she chuckled at the euphemism when Astra clearly went out of her way to achieve world domination. Initially though. Initially.
The blonde smiled through a single tear that trickled down her cheek and over her lips, tasting like salt, "She died shortly after."
Lena frowned, found that she was unable to sit idly by and just listen when her friend was right in front of her ready to burst into tears. She placed a hand on top of Kara's, the blonde's immediately stilling as their fingers laced around one another's subconsciously.
They looked at one another, their faces just a foot apart until Lena leaned in closer, and with her other hand, placing it gently on Kara's cheek, her thumb smoothing over the wet cheekbone and wiping the tears away.
Her other hand squeezed the blonde's fingers tighter, letting her know that she was never going anywhere and would be there for her.
Kara returned the gesture, communicating the same unsaid message that hung in the air heavily, thick and weighty.
The blonde suddenly burst out into a fit of soft laughter, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ramble, sometimes it just comes out and I just can't stop the word vomit, you know? Alex and Eliza always said that I had a problem with talking too much and that it might annoy others so I really hope that you're not annoyed with it at all. Wait, but I'm rambling right now. I'm so sorry, I get really nervous sometimes and I should really stop now-"
She was interrupted at the sound of Lena's chuckle, filled with humor and mirth, so sincere it made wrinkles appear in the corners of her eyes.
Kara could not recall the last time she had seen such genuity exuded from the usually poised and professional C.E.O., and she found herself flushed with embarrassment, feeling the familiar tingle shivering up her spine, the nape of her neck, and into her cheeks.
She could only think of how red she was at the moment.
The raven-haired woman noticed Kara's blush, the blonde rubbing the back of her neck in a nervous habit.
"Not to worry," Lena assured, her voice cooing and successfully soothing her friend, "I think your rambling is quite endearing if I do say so myself."
Kara squeaked and found herself heating up even further at the blunt statement.
Notes: Constructive criticism appreciated.