This is from Joey's POV. It's just kinda set just before the pilot episode and she's just really thinking. This is only a prologue; I will make an actual chapter soon. I just wanted to get Joey's feelings out there. Please R+R keeping in mind that this is my first DC fic. By the way, sorry I switch to second person, but she's talking to someone then

Spoilers: Very tiny for 'Pilot' when Joey says that things are changing.

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from Dawson's Creek

Dear Diary,

So this is kinda cool. I used to just let things fall into place in my life, using other people's opinions to influence any tiny decision I made, like a safety blanket, hovering over me at all times. Though now I'm finally beginning to 'see the light' – I think I'm finally growing up, not needing the safety blanket anymore. It's kind of scary at the same time, the ambiguity of every little thought or decision is certainly disconcerting to me right now. I never really thought about a ripple effect before, that a tiny thought or decision I make could affect the rest of my life. Anyway, I'm finally making decisions for me, not anyone else, and making them because of what I feel, not because someone is telling me to. I guess this is me growing up into the person that I'm going to be someday, complete and filled with love. At least who I hope to be. That's what I find sort of scary, the thought of turning into someone so different than who I think I am, and so not really knowing myself at all. I could become someone foreign to me, someone who I don't understand, and become lost.

So for about an hour, I've been laying here listening to sardonically sad music, sending my mind into a serene nostalgic mood where I've been reflecting on the past, and the things that have caused me or others that I know pain. Everything changes. That's all I can think of. Things used to change so much when I was younger, and so now that for a few years, things have stayed still, I feel kind of stuck. That's when I think of you.

I wonder what made me go there. Go to that place in the bottom of my heart where I kept you. I always wanted you; I always yearned for you, wanting to feel you, wanting to hold you. I always did.

But then for a while, life got good, the yearning and desire stopped. I stopped standing outside, wondering when you would show me the stars, the moon and the Earth. Wondered when you would make me yours, leaving your love of me for everyone to see. I always looked for you in the stars, looked for you in myself. I knew that you were a part of me that you would always be a part of me, but I tried to forget it. I realized that some people would be hurt if I gave into you, that the mark could be greater than I can imagine.

I just hope that soon, things get easier. We start High School on Monday. Maybe that'll give me a chance to show you how much I want you. I don't know how, but I'll figure it out.

Love Joey.

Ok, so sorry I switched to second person but she was speaking to someone. Guess who!