Disclaimer: I do not own the X-men. Marvel Does. But mark my words, if marvel doesn't start treating them better, I will take the X-men from them. Forcefully, if nessecary.
I will never understand how Logan is so popular. What happened to women being attracted to gentlemen? Since when is a rude, beerguzzling, commitment phobic, plain old mean guy, a turn on? ::sigh:: It must be that animal part in him. Maybe they think that will make fucking him better or something. ::shrug:: Jean certainly thinks so. Thats probably why she always "has a headache" and is never in bed anymore. Why I hear *those type* of sounds coming form his rooom at night when she isn't with me.
Jean is another problem. Again, Marvel insists we stay together. Insists we put on the face of "the perfect couple." I know its over, the CEO knows its over, even Jean knows its over, although she won't admit it. She stills need me as a backup fuck when Logan isn't around. I guess I am still attracted to her. Who wouldn't be? I mean..what a body....So I take what I can get.
You know, I don't even get all the royalties I deserve. Marvel is making ton of money off of my pain, and I'm getting screwed over. As that big ass stick gets bigger with every TV series, movie, and story, so my royalties shrink. Cause they keep adding in these new characters. Not that I don't mind new blood. It would just be helpful if they could weed some old blood too.
I have a whole list people I want gone. Kitty for instance. The newest incarnation of her is the single most annoying X-man I have ever heard. If I have to hear the word "Like" one more time, I'll blast the TV to hell. Sabretooth. Lets just face it. A villian is only good if he/she is a smart villian. And we don't need anymore Wolverinesque characters running around then is absolutely needed. Jubilee. For similar reasons to Kitty. And I know I'm not the only one on that. Logan is gettting pretty tired of hearing "Wolvie." Toad. The place smells bad enough with Logan, do we need Toad added to that? And I *hate* finding slime in places it shouldn't be. Rogue. Dammit, if I have to be a prick, I'm not going to be called "sugah." And where does she get off thinking that white streak looks good on her? SOMEone needs to get her a decent stylist. Iceman. Its not that smart asses piss me of, but stupid smart asses piss me off. Joseph. Would he just admit that he is Magneto already? This whole amnesia but is starting to tick off everyone. Betsy. I just don't like telepaths in general...and her name? Pyslocke? could she have pick a more difficult name to pronounce?
Damn. Logan ran off again. Looks like he needs more attention. And now Jean is calling. Oh well...maybe she can help get the stick out of my ass first.
Ok..now if you like this, I want to make it into a series. So tell me whose monolouge you want me to write next in a review.
Authors Note: This is my very first Fanfiction. Cheer for me... I used to read the comics, but stopped about a year ago, although I try and keep up with major plot turns ect. I still watch the cartoon on Fox, and the new X-men Evolution. I like the Fox one better...but that is for another fic. I also *adore* the movie. soo..yeah...hope you enjoy.
PS: rated PG-13 for foul language and ...erm...unpleasent mental pictures....
PPS- People, I love all of the x-men. But I'm not nice to quite a few of them in this. So don't hurt me.
Monologue of an X-Man: Cyclops
I will never understand how Logan is so popular. What happened to women being attracted to gentlemen? Since when is a rude, beerguzzling, commitment phobic, plain old mean guy, a turn on? ::sigh:: It must be that animal part in him. Maybe they think that will make fucking him better or something. ::shrug:: Jean certainly thinks so. Thats probably why she always "has a headache" and is never in bed anymore. Why I hear *those type* of sounds coming form his rooom at night when she isn't with me.
Jean is another problem. Again, Marvel insists we stay together. Insists we put on the face of "the perfect couple." I know its over, the CEO knows its over, even Jean knows its over, although she won't admit it. She stills need me as a backup fuck when Logan isn't around. I guess I am still attracted to her. Who wouldn't be? I mean..what a body....So I take what I can get.
You know, I don't even get all the royalties I deserve. Marvel is making ton of money off of my pain, and I'm getting screwed over. As that big ass stick gets bigger with every TV series, movie, and story, so my royalties shrink. Cause they keep adding in these new characters. Not that I don't mind new blood. It would just be helpful if they could weed some old blood too.
I have a whole list people I want gone. Kitty for instance. The newest incarnation of her is the single most annoying X-man I have ever heard. If I have to hear the word "Like" one more time, I'll blast the TV to hell. Sabretooth. Lets just face it. A villian is only good if he/she is a smart villian. And we don't need anymore Wolverinesque characters running around then is absolutely needed. Jubilee. For similar reasons to Kitty. And I know I'm not the only one on that. Logan is gettting pretty tired of hearing "Wolvie." Toad. The place smells bad enough with Logan, do we need Toad added to that? And I *hate* finding slime in places it shouldn't be. Rogue. Dammit, if I have to be a prick, I'm not going to be called "sugah." And where does she get off thinking that white streak looks good on her? SOMEone needs to get her a decent stylist. Iceman. Its not that smart asses piss me of, but stupid smart asses piss me off. Joseph. Would he just admit that he is Magneto already? This whole amnesia but is starting to tick off everyone. Betsy. I just don't like telepaths in general...and her name? Pyslocke? could she have pick a more difficult name to pronounce?
Damn. Logan ran off again. Looks like he needs more attention. And now Jean is calling. Oh well...maybe she can help get the stick out of my ass first.
Ok..now if you like this, I want to make it into a series. So tell me whose monolouge you want me to write next in a review.