The Wrath of the EVIL Flooring Inspector
Written by: WristCramp *PLEASE NOTE : This is my first story! Please only CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. Nobody likes a pain in the arse! Any EVIL emails will be deleted and blocked! - WristCramp
Disclaimer: We do not own any of the Monkey Island characters so please do not sue. If you wanna sue someone, throw yourself in front of a bus!!
Guybrush leaned over his glass of grog. The grog was starting to affect his sight and he could barely see the bartend.
"Another!" Guybrush yelled in the direction of what he thought was the bartend, but was really a coat hanger.
"I'm cuttin' you off, buddy." The non-coat hanger bartend sneered at the slumped figure of Guybrush. He could hear a bunch a pirates in the corner talking about their adventures out at sea.
"Arrrr.I had me crew swab the deck, when the ship traveled through an EVIL myst. Suddenly, the deck creaked like me wooden leg, and me crew fell into me plunder!! And that's the story of how I got me second wooden leg!!!
"That's not how it goes, you old Sea Dog! Me and the rest of the crew fell into the cargo hold while you sat on ye arse drinking grog!! Besides, this is the story of how the floor of the ship failed!" exclaimed the First Mate. "Aye, close enough."
"I tell you it was the EVIL mist!!!"
"EVIL mist?! You've had too much grog!" sneered a fellow pirate.
Guybrush decided he better head home before he lost his vision. He stumbled out of the Scumm Bar. He tottled along, walking through the village drunkenly. When Elaine comes out of town hall, from another promise of free grog to the pirates of Melee Island (though that would never come true). She looks at the drunken figure of Guybrush coming down the road with anger. She screamed in anger.
"Guybrush Ulysses Threepwood! What did I say?" Elaine asked furiously.
"I. uh, n.noo ger. grog 'til me. I. d.done my ch. chores." He was spitting while he talked. She shook her head and started to guide him to the Governor's Mansion.
The next morning, Guybrush had a huge hang over and starting walking outside, trying to clear it up with the fresh, salty air. It was when he was walking that he noticed the declaration posted near the Voodoo Lady's shop. It read:
NOTICE TO ALL MELEE ISLAND RESIDENTS: FLOORING INSEPCTIONS BEGIN TODAY! BE SURE TO HAVE ALL BOATS AND HOUSES READY FOR THE NEW FLOORING INSPECTOR!!!
He headed down the road to find Captain Smirk's training house closed. Captain Smirk sat on the steps wailing his eyes out.
"What's wrong Captain?"
"The...the flooring inspector closed my training school. The.the old planks couldn't pass the test!" Smirk blew his nose.
"The flooring inspector.? Evil myst? Hmmmm.Captain Smirk, what did he look like?
"He had blond hair, with a dorky pony tail. About yay tall. Looked kinda like you, except with a big hat."
"Hey, the pony tail isn't dorky! It's dainty! Well, I think this requires a trip to the voodoo lady's."
Back in town, the voodoo lady popped up with her usual flashing and spots of colour.
"Guybrush Threepwood, I tink I feel an evil presence coming to Melee Island, possibly controlled by the EVIL LeChuck!
"LeChuck?!"
This force can only be defeated by you my fancy pantalooned one!
"What am I supposed to do?"
"The veesions are vague at best. Report back later for more veesions!
"Hmmmm..
Meanwhile, back at the mansion.
Guybrush, not sweeping the floors for stupid flooring inspector, no grog before my chores are done my arse!" Elaine threw down her broom. She gasped as an EVIL myst crept under the door. "Oh god! An EVIL myst!" she cried. CREAK. CREAK. CREAK. Suddenly the floor gave and Elaine disappeared into the pure and utter darkness beneath the floor..
Written by: WristCramp *PLEASE NOTE : This is my first story! Please only CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. Nobody likes a pain in the arse! Any EVIL emails will be deleted and blocked! - WristCramp
Disclaimer: We do not own any of the Monkey Island characters so please do not sue. If you wanna sue someone, throw yourself in front of a bus!!
Guybrush leaned over his glass of grog. The grog was starting to affect his sight and he could barely see the bartend.
"Another!" Guybrush yelled in the direction of what he thought was the bartend, but was really a coat hanger.
"I'm cuttin' you off, buddy." The non-coat hanger bartend sneered at the slumped figure of Guybrush. He could hear a bunch a pirates in the corner talking about their adventures out at sea.
"Arrrr.I had me crew swab the deck, when the ship traveled through an EVIL myst. Suddenly, the deck creaked like me wooden leg, and me crew fell into me plunder!! And that's the story of how I got me second wooden leg!!!
"That's not how it goes, you old Sea Dog! Me and the rest of the crew fell into the cargo hold while you sat on ye arse drinking grog!! Besides, this is the story of how the floor of the ship failed!" exclaimed the First Mate. "Aye, close enough."
"I tell you it was the EVIL mist!!!"
"EVIL mist?! You've had too much grog!" sneered a fellow pirate.
Guybrush decided he better head home before he lost his vision. He stumbled out of the Scumm Bar. He tottled along, walking through the village drunkenly. When Elaine comes out of town hall, from another promise of free grog to the pirates of Melee Island (though that would never come true). She looks at the drunken figure of Guybrush coming down the road with anger. She screamed in anger.
"Guybrush Ulysses Threepwood! What did I say?" Elaine asked furiously.
"I. uh, n.noo ger. grog 'til me. I. d.done my ch. chores." He was spitting while he talked. She shook her head and started to guide him to the Governor's Mansion.
The next morning, Guybrush had a huge hang over and starting walking outside, trying to clear it up with the fresh, salty air. It was when he was walking that he noticed the declaration posted near the Voodoo Lady's shop. It read:
NOTICE TO ALL MELEE ISLAND RESIDENTS: FLOORING INSEPCTIONS BEGIN TODAY! BE SURE TO HAVE ALL BOATS AND HOUSES READY FOR THE NEW FLOORING INSPECTOR!!!
He headed down the road to find Captain Smirk's training house closed. Captain Smirk sat on the steps wailing his eyes out.
"What's wrong Captain?"
"The...the flooring inspector closed my training school. The.the old planks couldn't pass the test!" Smirk blew his nose.
"The flooring inspector.? Evil myst? Hmmmm.Captain Smirk, what did he look like?
"He had blond hair, with a dorky pony tail. About yay tall. Looked kinda like you, except with a big hat."
"Hey, the pony tail isn't dorky! It's dainty! Well, I think this requires a trip to the voodoo lady's."
Back in town, the voodoo lady popped up with her usual flashing and spots of colour.
"Guybrush Threepwood, I tink I feel an evil presence coming to Melee Island, possibly controlled by the EVIL LeChuck!
"LeChuck?!"
This force can only be defeated by you my fancy pantalooned one!
"What am I supposed to do?"
"The veesions are vague at best. Report back later for more veesions!
"Hmmmm..
Meanwhile, back at the mansion.
Guybrush, not sweeping the floors for stupid flooring inspector, no grog before my chores are done my arse!" Elaine threw down her broom. She gasped as an EVIL myst crept under the door. "Oh god! An EVIL myst!" she cried. CREAK. CREAK. CREAK. Suddenly the floor gave and Elaine disappeared into the pure and utter darkness beneath the floor..