Title: Solemn (Will come up for the picture on top later :3)
Rating: PG…uh…16ish? For the bad words?? ---and some shonen ai plus other implications :D
Characters: Vincent, Cid, Cloud, Tifa, Barret, Marlene…well you get the picture.
Genre: Drama, Angst (haha), Romance
Time: Sometime after Advent Children before Dirge of Cerberus
The nightmares would lead on to another. Sephiroth had been defeated by us, and again by Cloud two years later after the geostigma had invaded the planet. Hojo on the other hand…well I haven't told anyone that the scientist had disappeared in front of my eyes but it seems as though his threat is no longer of any concern. It would seem as time would begin to flow once again…If only it were that simple. That death will cling onto me for the rest of eternity.
"Oi, where you gonna heading off to now?" He blew out a cloud of smoke and looked below the deck at the sky. Cid and Vincent stood on the outer deck of the Shera as it soared over the vast continent.
"I…don't know." Vincent stared blankly at the passing clouds, the view of the sky struck something in him, something unexplainable…and he didn't like it.
"Well…hmm I'm guessing you don't really have family out there since…well…Do you really want to keep traveling around doing nothing?" The captain kept stumbling for some reassuring words that never came.
"It's not that I haven't been doing anything…it's that I've been trying to recollect everything that's happened."
"For two years…." His comment was sarcastic; he turned himself toward the gunman. His crimson cape billowed against the wind along with his ebony tainted hair. The captain crept closer, for some reason Vincent looked more grim than usual. His eyes showed a certain blankness accompanied by a sullen frown marked across his lips that were slightly covered with the collar of his cape. "If you like you can always stay at my place you know. Course you'll have to cook me up some tea every morning!" He playfully shoved Vincent's shoulder chuckling, his smile quickly turned into a frown as he noticed the gunman's expression remained unchanged. "Bah, you're really depressing you know that?" He grumbled.
"I've been getting calls from Reeve lately, he wants me to work for him but I declined."
"What?! Why? You can make money and get your own place—"
"I don't want to be bothered with that."
"Now you just sound like a lazy ass…"
"Perhaps I am." Vincent continued to lean himself against the railing of the ship. The wind whistled as it rubbed itself against the exterior of the flying mobile.
"So---what's bothering you today?" Somehow the pilot had always been able to weasel into the emotions of the gunman. Cid could read his thoughts like a book which sickened Vincent.
"Two years…and I haven't resolved anything…I haven't found an answer to anything at all." He lowered his head to rest on his hands. His left claw glittered as they approached the noon sun. "I went to see her… it's the same as it was then. All she says to me is 'I'm sorry'... it…drives me mad." He felt himself biting his lower lip in frustration. "I can't figure out why she would say that."
"Well it sure as hell wasn't your fault that she ended up in a rock—"
"That's not--!!" Vincent whirled around, face frantic with anger. "She…wouldn't hate herself if it wasn't for me. If I had stopped her and Hojo then--."
"There you go again blaming yourself for every-single-fucking-thing!" Cid crossed his arms and looked at a torn Vincent. "Tell me what is it that you did wrong that's been killing ya for thirty some years?"
"I did nothing…that's the problem." He turned toward the entrance of the ship and starting walking away; Cid quickly reached to grab the gunman by the wrist and pulled him backwards into a kiss.
"Why don't you stop feeling sorry for yourself?" Cid shoved the gunman forward against the metal wall of the Shera, his lips bound to Vincent's. He could feel the Captains hands unbuckle his leather straps one by one; his rough hands slid themselves over the warm pale skin under his leather top.
"…What are you doing?!" Vincent could feel his heartbeat quicken, the pilot didn't respond, he only continued to move his lips down lower. "Stop...!" Cid kissed his stomach, the pilot's hot breathe made Vincent tremble as he inched lower with his mouth kissing and brushing against skin. He went on to push his knee up between the gunman's legs. Vincent flinched at the suddenness of the action and kicked Cid away knocking him to his back. "Cid I can't—I still love…!!" His eyes grew wide as he realized what words were about to part from his mouth, Vincent then sprinted back into the ship while strapping himself back together, his face red with a swirl of emotions. What Cid had done that was beyond his understanding. If they had continued further would he still stop? He didn't know. The gunman continued to run down the hallway of the Shera practically knocking down any workers that had been passing by. A certain despair filled his heart, betrayal…was he betraying the woman he loved? That would only be if he loved Cid. Did he love him? Did he love that chain-smoking, pirate swearing, idiotic…tenderly kind man? Of course not! Of course--not.
"Shit…I've done it now." Cid lay on the metal floor staring at the passing clouds. Vincent's expression kept repeating itself in the pilot's mind, he felt his face turning red. The captain quickly slapped himself in the jaw with his hand and sat up. "Gonna have to find him now." He sighed. Suddenly the ship made a slight drop, Cid felt his stomach flutter as he noticed a city appear through the descending clouds, Edge. That's right, he had been planning to meet up with Cloud and the others at 7th Heaven. He had forgotten due to the massive amount of work that Reeve assigned him for the WRO. First though he had to find Vincent to explain himself…or in a better word apologize. As the captain progressed into the hallway Vincent's words repeated themselves into his mind "I still love--" It made his heart wretch, not because of what he had done to the gunman or that he had been rejected at that moment or even because Vincent utterly kicked him down to the ground. Cid realized then that Vincent's ties with that woman from years ago would prevent him from ever loving anyone else...anyone…that fact would never change.
______________________________________________________________________
Edge had nearly recovered from the past attacks brought upon the city two years ago. Buildings were rebuilt, the roads repaved, families walked happily together down the streets, children laughed and giggled as they tossed their moogle dolls in the air. The sun shined brightly overhead allowing for the sky to give off it's deepest shade of blue, Tifa kneeled down to pour nutrients for the window plants of 7th Heaven. She twirled her hair and hummed letting the yellow lilies dance in the shower of water. A shadow overlooked her, she immediately notice the caped figure and turned.
"Well it certainly has been a while, Vincent."
"Yes it has."
"Is Cid with you?"
Did she have to ask that question? It was the worst timing possible, it was almost as if the whole world knew about what had just happened nearly an hour before and mocking the situation was some sort of cruel amusement. It seemed as though their time together made them inseparable to everyone's eyes.
"He…should be coming." Vincent trailed his eyes to the damp flowers, he assumed that a few had been taken from the abandoned church and replanted in their new home by the window.
"Ah, I see." She pushed open the entrance door and invited the gunman in. "Cloud, Barret, Vincent's here."
"Vincent-nii~!" Marlene ran and jumped on the gunman, he felt her small body squeeze around his hips as she snuggled her face into the leather of his top.
"How have you been Marlene?"
"I've been great, and you?"
"Yeah you got a phone that you never use!" Cloud put down a glass of water and walked over to greet his lofty comrade. Barret spun around in his bar stool.
"Hell, Cloud, you barely respond to my messages!"
"Well that's true." He smiled the famous strife smile, Vincent noticed a new air about Cloud, one that had been erected after the defeat of Kadaj and his brothers; he seemed happier in a sense.
The door to the bar opened with a loud jingle, in came Cid who stomped in swearing, "Fuck, people don't know how to drive in this fucking town!" All turned to watch the pilot including the two children.
"Cid, honestly!!" Tifa hinted her eyes at Marlene and Denzel, Cid could only give a ,"Oops." Statement. His eyes moved to the gunman who had taken a few steps back further into the room.
"S-So how the hell have you all been?" Cid turned his attention to Cloud and the others keeping his peripheral vision on cue with the gunman.
The gang began to chat about old times, the recent happens of new careers, the erection of the WRO, etc. Vincent sat in the corner of the room listening to the discussion without much interest until Marlene tugged at his cape.
"Vincent, I wanna show you something!" He nodded and followed her and Denzel upstairs and out onto the buildings porch where dozens of potted lilies lay. The gunman noticed the resemblance to the ones downstairs.
"Did you guys get these from the Church?"
"Uh huh! Denzel and I have been taking care of them!"
"They…seem to like the sunlight here." Denzel made a shy face, he had only met the gunman once and only for a brief moment…if at all when Edge had been attacked. Vincent examined a small yellow flower, it was still a bud waiting to bloom.
"Do you want to become a florist?" The question came out of nowhere, the girl looked up at Vincent in confusion, she had never considered it before until now.
"I…maybe. Actually that sounds neat!" She envisioned herself like Aerith, a maiden surrounded by vegetation of all colors. Vincent chuckled beneath his collar, he squatted to see eye to eye with the two kids. "Vin-nii you'll have to stop by to pick up some flowers!"
"Will do." He smiled, the three turned to see Cloud approaching the doorway. His black clothes brushed along his muscular physique as he leaned himself against the wall.
"What're you all talking about?"
"Cloud, I'm going to be a florist!" Marlene stated enthusiastically. "Denzel can help me and we'll open our own shop, we can even help out the orphanage and—"
"Whoa that's a lot going on there. Vince, you there financial adviser now?" Joked Cloud. Vincent couldn't help but grin at the comment, how silly he must have looked talking with two children, although he didn't mind.
"You know I'm not the one to give advice."
"Guess that's true…" Cloud walked out a little further to lean against the stone railing of the porch. " So what have you been doing with yourself?"
"Nothing really. Traveling I suppose." Marlene and Denzel got the hint that the two's conversation was going to turn serious, or in other terms boring.
"Denzel lets go get some snacks." She hopped back into the building with the boy trailing behind her.
"Ah, but Marlene, I think we need to go buy some though!" Cloud and Vincent watched as the two children scurried away. They turned around to stare at the city, it's grey buildings grim but at the same time beautiful as they lay below the ever so clear sky.
"So really, how have you been?" His voice was almost fatal as his mako filled eyes turned to stare at the gunman.
"Nothings changed." His expression was sullen; it was something he didn't want to talk about, not for fear of making his friends pity him it was just a subject that was overrun in his mind, something too common in his world of thought.
"Hey Vince."
"Mm?"
"Remember…back at the Forgotten City…when I asked you if sins could be forgiven?" Cloud turned his attention toward a couple walking below on the street pavement.
"Ah, I do."
"They can, Vincent." The couple waited to cross the street, cars zoomed on by. There was a long silence between them, the two listened to the honking of cars and giggling of children below.
"….Cloud, I helped you kill her son." And with that he retreated back into the shadows of the home. The blonde turned hoping that words would reach through to his throat…they never came.
The lights in the house were off, each footstep created a creak in the floorboard as the gunman wandered around the small condo. He found himself in someone's room, probably a shared one between Tifa and Cloud. Hand drawn pictures, most likely from the orphans, were pinned onto the wall. Caricatures of the caretakers littered each corner, Vincent turned himself to leave but stopped noticing a familiar photograph. It was one that the gang had taken over a year ago. He looked at it for a long time studying each face, each person he had traveled with since his awakening from that long sleep, his heart stopped when his eyes trailed to the face of the pilot. He studied Cid's smile, the man had always appeared goofy in Vincent's mind, almost childish.
"Hi!"
Vincent turned around to see Tifa standing in the doorway. "Ah sorry I was—"
"No no it's alright" She leaned in next to Vincent to see what had interested him so. "Do you remember when we all took this?"
"…Ah."
"Well it wasn't too long ago but…you know I think we should all get together sometime. You know, Yuffie, Reeve, Nanaki they couldn't make it today." She sat on one of the plaid sheeted beds and sighed. "Ahhh—you know Cid and Barret are downstairs downing beers if you want to go."
"You know I don't drink much."
"I guess that's true…By the way Cloud went downstairs…" Her voice sounded curious. Vincent could only assume that Tifa had come upstairs to see what was the matter.
"Shall we go down then?" Vincent turned himself towards the door way and stopped before bumping into Cid.
"Hey what are you two doing in here?" His playful and hinting tone of voice annoyed the gunman, what exactly was he implying? Vincent made a move to walk quickly past the Captain but was pulled back by the fabric of his cape, he turned to find that Cid had taken a handful of it. "Whoa where you going?"
"Downstairs."
"I just came up to see you both though!" He grinned and stared at the reds of Vincent's eyes, he could tell that he was fuming. Tifa shuffled herself, she could feel an ominous tension arising from the two. The gunman's deadly glare didn't help much either.
"L-let's all go downstairs, I'm sure Cloud and Barret will want to reminisce about old times."
She pushed the two men outside of the bedroom and motioned them to go down the staircase… Barret sat at the bar stand with several empty bottles of beer, he rummaged through the shelves to clinch a glass. He uncorked a bottle of red wine and poured it into the glass swinging it across the table in the gunman's direction.
"Here, Vince."
Vincent graciously took the glass and put it to his lips, he noticed the captain's figure reflect on the bottom of it and quickly put the drink back down on the table. He wanted to leave. Barret rinsed a few plates in the sink before turning around to address Vincent.
"Nah, Vince, Reeve wanted me to ask you if you wanted to work for him."
"I already told him no." Vincent stared at the liquid in his glass without lifting his eyes to Barret who scratched his black beard. Cloud twirled the ice in his drink and sighed, "Seriously what are you going to do with yourself?"
"You don't have to worry about me." He crossed his legs and leaned against the counter, the gunman examined the variety of drinks aligned against the shelf, he felt himself becoming irritated by the constant questions.
"Yeah don't mind him, he's just being a little bitch right now." Cid took out a cigarette but was stopped by Tifa who pointed out that he shouldn't be smoking in front of the kids. The pilot went on to grumble as he put away his pack. Vincent remained annoyed by the mere sight of Cid, had he forgotten about what had taken place on the deck of the ship or did he simply not care?
The day grew long with memories of the past, the party reminisced about their travels together, how they met, how they had been the past year. The moon arrived early in the evening casting it's light over the city, families gathered into their households in preparation for the next day. Cid took a long drag of his cigarette and stared at a buzzing streetlight, he listened to the hysterical laughter of Barret and Tifa whom had been picking on Cloud, something about his unmoving personality and his failure to tell bed time stories without sounded like an old man. The pilot caught Vincent in the corner of his eye, the gunman sat with his arms crossed at the counter, he seemed to be distant…as if his mind were somewhere else but then again he was always like that. Cid spat out his cig to be crushed by his boot and retreated back into home.
"Yo, I think I'll be off for today."
"I guess it is late…next time I'll make sure that the others come!"
"Nah ,Vince, you coming?" Cid stared at the gunman who made no effort to move.
"…I suppose I'll be going too." The gunman stood to leave but felt a certain someone tug at his cape, he kneeled back down to say his goodbye to Marlene. " Take care."
"You too Vin-nii!" She hugged him around the neck, it made his face flush with embarrassment as he could feel the others eyes on his back. He quickly stood up and walked hurriedly to the door.
"See you all later."
"I'll give you both a call every now and then." Cloud waved goodbye and watched the two walk off into the darkness of Edge. They walked through the deserted streets, it was almost like a ghost town at night, only a few wandered around closing shop. Vincent quickened his pace into a different pathway with Cid tagging behind him.
"H-hey the ships that way!" He grabbed hold of Vincent's shoulder and pointed in the opposite direction. The gunman shrugged off Cid's grip and continued forward without a word. "What the hell?! Are you listening to me? I said the Shera's that-a-way!!" The pilot received silence in response, their footsteps gave heavy thumps on the asphalt ground. A warm breeze rustled in between the cement buildings and made the gunman's cape flare. "Look, I'm sorry alright!!" Cid stopped and bent his head forward to yell. Vincent slowed down his pace and turned, eyes blazing.
"Sorry…? You acted like nothing happened, like what…what you did was normal!!"
"I got carried away…I thought that you…"
"Thought that I what?!" The gunman's tone was filled with malice but his eyes showed a sort of distortion between confusion and anguish. Words wouldn't come, Cid stepped forward and embraced the gunman and still….still he couldn't say a thing. "Let go, don't think for a minute that you can do whatever you pleas." He lowered his hand to grip Cerberus; suddenly the gunman realized that his hand was shaking.
"Where will you go?"
"Away."
"Where to?" Cid moved back to look upon the gunman's face, Vincent lowered his head and shoved the pilot's hands away from his shoulders.
"It's none of your concern."
"Look, I'm just fucking trying to make sure that you'll be alright." He looked away from Vincent who had seemed bewildered by his comment. "You….really don't seem happy at all."
"What do you mean?"
"After we killed Sephiroth you disappeared…and then after we got rid of that Kadaj guy and those other whacks…after that you just went off again and now I might not see you for God knows when. I'm telling you I've got a place for you to stay, all of us do!"
"Cid." His voice was grave, it sent a chill down the pilot's spine, something about Vincent seemed grim. The gunman opened his mouth to speak, it was then that he realized that he held no answer, no response, nothing…. Did he want to stay with someone? Did he want someone to be there with him, to keep him company?
He began to walk pass Cid whom gave a smile and quickly chased after him toward the direction of the Shera.
The airship took to the night sky, it's engines roared as it cut through the air and made it's way toward Junon.
"Gotta make some drop offs first for the WRO." The pilot spun the wheel of the ship to point east, crew members slept in their cabins, Vincent was the only one awake at this hour along with Cid. The gunman's eyes roamed around the Shera studying every corner, he had last ridden on it a half a year ago. He admired it's sophisticated design, how it resembled an ark but could fly in the air…how brilliant he must be for being able to come up with this…
"Ney, Vincent." Cid interrupted.
"…Hm?"
"I'm gonna leave it on auto-pilot, we won't be there till morning." He trotted over to where Vincent stood and pecked him on the lips. The gunman quickly shoved him away while wiping his mouth tasting a bit of Cid's smoke fumed saliva. He scowled the pilots name and swore under his breath.
"Why do you keep doing this? If you're patronizing me or just trying to see what it's like to be with a man then forget about it! I'll leave right now if you keep insisting on doing these types of things!"
"Hmmm, you're going to jump off the plane?" Cid snickered. He noticed Vincent's cold stare and immediately grew silent. "Do you… really still love her?" His question stopped the gunman's heart.
Of all the things to ask right now.
"Vincent?"
"I still love her."
"I see."
Why do you look like that?
"You don't think that you'll ever move on?
"No." What's with that tone of voice?
"You know you shouldn't feel so guilty about what happened." Yes I should.
"It's my fault that she suffered." Why are you telling me this?
"Don't you miss being around with other people?" It does get lonely…
"It really doesn't phase me" Why do you look as though you're the one about to cry?
"Can you answer me something?"
"What?"
Cid quickly clasped Vincent around the waist and back pushing his lips against the gunman in one swift motion. He released the gunman's lips in a moment.
"What would you do if I said that I love you?"
If a nightmare were to somehow twist itself would it become a place of purgatory or a peaceful dream?
"You don't mean that…"
"I would never leave you."
"This isn't right."
"What makes you think that anything in this world is?" He continued to kiss the gunman, letting his body push up against Vincent's.
"Stop! I told you I—"
"Push me away then." The pilot's voice was calm.
"Cid!!"
"If you really don't like it push me away!!"
Why can't I answer back?
The gunman stood motionless and wide eyed at the Captain. His body was frozen in that state; Cid dragged Vincent along and opened the door behind the cockpit, he shoved the man into a bed room and threw him onto the bed. The pilot slammed the door and stood his ground, he watched as Vincent slowly got up off the mangled sheets. Cid didn't know what to expect…Anger? Fear?....no…His eyes resembled that of a scared animal's.
"W-what are you planning to do?"
"I don't know…what do you want to do?" Cid scratched his five o clock shadow as he yawned, he walked over to the bed and sat down to look at the gunman eye to eye. Vincent's eyes said something that went along with 'don't you dare' so Cid kept a small distance between their faces. He lied back on his pillow and stared at the ceiling fan above, he had custom designed his cabin to have a homey décor, wooden furniture and colonial lamps. Cid closed his eyes and began to hum, Vincent made a move to get off the bed but was caught by the pilot's hand. " Stay here." The gunman's body froze…why won't I move? "You didn't answer me yet." Cid's piercing blue eyes glowed as Vincent stared into them; he didn't know what to say.
How could he say that the word 'love' so casually…and to a person like me? Why is my body shaking so much? Why is my heart pounding? What the hell am I afraid of?!
"Vincent…" Cid laid his hand behind the gunman's head and pulled him into an embrace; he ran his fingers though ebony hair while kissing Vincent's forehead. "Well?"
"Don't touch me."
"Why not?"
"Why would you love someone like me?!" The words were blurted out, Vincent bowed his head down on Cid's chest to take a breath. "Someone like me…shouldn't be living. I should've died so long ago…I'm disgusting---"
Cid grabbed the gunman's shoulders and shook him. "Hell, if you're that damned messed up what does that make me?"
"Look at me Cid!!" His eyes shot up to meet the blonde's. "You know that I'm not like you, I'm--!"
"I love you."
"Shut up!" Vincent felt Cid hug him tightly, the man's warmth radiated against his own body; Why does someone like you have to love me? "Why, Cid…"
"Can't help it…things like this just happen, right?" He noticed Vincent's eyes become glossy, he was biting his lip and shaking either from frustration or confusion. He nuzzled the gunman's neck and unbuckled his leather top; this time Vincent didn't resist…instead he just lay there staring blankly at the ceiling. "Do you want me to stop?"
Lucrecia…What's wrong with me? I still love you…so why is this man---
Vincent didn't answer Cid's question, his face was emotionless; It made the pilot's stomach turn…he hated to see Vincent depressed like this. The pilot laid his head on the gunman's chest and listened to his heart beat; it was actually beating quite fast. "Vince, answer me." No answer. "Vincent." None. "Tell me what do you think of me?" This time Vincent's eyes moved to look at Cid.
I wonder that myself…
"I don't know." The answer was awfully blunt. "I don't care anymore; just do whatever the hell you want with me." His answer struck a chord in Cid which made the pilot scowl and knee Vincent in the stomach. The wind was knocked out of him as he felt his breath cease.
"The fuck do you think I am?!" His voice boomed as he screamed down at Vincent who's crimson eyes gaped. "Do you really think that I'd force myself on you?!"
"That's not..."
"Not what?!!" Cid grit his teeth and slammed Vincent deeper into mattress of the bed. The gunman made a soft whimper, Cid felt himself ease up on the grip he had over Vincent's wrists.
"This body of mine…it's disgusting. I'm probably not even human anymore…" Vincent laid there eyes closed, teeth gritted, arm rested over his face in defeat..
What the hell am I saying?
"Course' you're human…ya eat, sleep, laugh, and cry don't you? And what the hell is with that sarcastic attitude of yours? You prostituting yourself?!"
"For the likes of you? Of course not."
"Heh,--smartass aren't you?" Cid sat back and stared across the room, he got off the bed and walked over to his mahogany work desk and sat himself down on a wooden chair. Vincent listened to the rustles of large paper sheets that Cid had unrolled, the room remained quite for some time, the only noise were the sounds of pencil scratches. The gunman turned his head toward Cid in curiosity.
"What are you doing?"
"Ah just drawing in some stuff….you can go to sleep if you want since you don't seem to be in the mood."
"Drawing in stuff for what?" Vincent slowly sat up, his mind sparked with a sudden interest in what Cid was doing. The pilot smiled and slid his chair across the room and laid the paper sheets on the bed. They were rough sketches of what resembled an old fashioned plane, it's marks outlined in blue with dozens of chicken scratched notes.
"Looky here. I'm thinkin' of building a new Tiny Bronco. Well I guess a Big Bronco since it'll be three times the size. Ya know I was really attached to my baby." Cid snickered as he admired his work below. Vincent eyes glinted as he examined the blueprint.
"This is…really something."
"Yep, course it is! I'm the friggin' best pilot on this planet! Yah know I finished up the Tiny Bronco when I hit twenty! One of my first planes!" Cid bragged.
"What? T-that young?"
"Mmmhmm!!"
"Huh…I can't really remember doing anything that great at that age…" He appeared to be deep in thought. "I…think that's around the time I joined the Turks…probably."
"Ehhh…couldn't think of anything better to do?"
"My father…I probably joined because of him." Cid looked at Vincent, his face looked serene all of the sudden. "I guess maybe I just wanted to be closer to him at work or…something like that, even though we worked in different departments…"
"Hmmm that's strange, kids usually try to get away from their parents, I know I did."
"I really…" Vincent laughed in spite of himself. "Never mind."
"I'm listening."
"It's nothing…"
"Whaaaaat--- just say it." Cid whined.
"I was just thinking that…you resemble my father…just a little bit." Vincent blushed and snuggled himself against the sheets.
"Wha---yer dad was a pilot too?!" Cid climbed up over the bed and practically yelled at Vincent's face.
"No you idiot...!! He was a scientist."
"Wha…then how do I remind you of him? I doubt he was a ruffian like me right?" He took his thumb and wiped the stubble on his chin.
"No…you're both very kind is all."
"BAH!!!~ I thought it was something more exciting!"
"Hmph." Vincent rolled over and played with a loose feather that had escaped a pillow. "Cid…"
"Yeah?" The Captain began to pencil in some notes on the blueprint.
"I…" Cid stopped scribbling and listened to what words he hoped would come.
"… I don't know what to do."
"Well…do something that'll make you more fun to be around." Cid sighed in disappointment and continued writing.
" I don't know if I can forget about her…forget about Lucrecia…"
"Well what the hell do you want me to tell you?!" Cid crumbled up the paper and threw it to the floor, he jumped off the bed and stomped off into the bathroom slamming the door. Vincent sat up bewildered and wondered if his comment had upset Cid. Then the words, the words that Vincent had told Lucrecia so long ago " I love you." Came to his mind. "That's ridiculous." Vincent plopped himself back down on the bed now feeling guilty that he was taking up space on Cid's bed. He had said the same thing to Vincent, however the gunman couldn't bring himself to believe those words. He heard the sound of water turning on from a shower, he figured that after a rinse Cid might calm down so he waited and sat there…waiting.
Cid kicked open the door the bedroom as he rubbed a towel around his blonde hair, to his surprise Vincent was still awake. He sat up on the bed with his knees under him; The gunman stared innocently at Cid who wore nothing but his grey boxers.
"Hmm, I thought you'd go to sleep by now." The captain tossed the towel back into the bathroom and walked over to slump on the bed. "…..Sorry…for yelling before." He stuffed his face into a pillow and took to scratching his side. Vincent's eyes widened.
"Sorry?…why…I'm the one—"
"Hell Vince, I said fucking sorry so accept it….don't need you twisting shit around."
"But—"
"Ugh, will you just shut up and go to sleep?" Cid rolled over onto his back and turned his head to look at Vincent, his red eyes confused and solemn. "What..?"
"Before…about what you said."
"Ahahah, I was just kidding about that…just… forget about it." Cid turned himself away.
"You were serious before…" Vincent looked down at his hands which had clutched the bed sheets on their own. " No one's ever told me those words…"
"Not even yer pops?"
The gunman couldn't help but smile."….Ah he doesn't count." Vincent leaned back onto the pillow and watched the ceiling fan spin. " Cid….you were serious right…?" There was a moment of silence, Vincent could feel his face turning red from the question. He hadn't planned on asking, he just wanted to know, wanted to know whether or not this was a sick joke, a nightmare, or a dream.
"Yeah, Vince, …I love you."
His heart stopped, the room seemed to blur into nothing and all that was left were the two men. Vincent mouth quivered, his body became paralyzed and all he could see was the nothingness inside him. He felt happiness and despair. "Vincent?" Cid rolled back toward the gunman, tears cascading down his pale face. His expression was emotionless and he seemed like he was in a trance. "Vincent!" Cid sat up and cupped Vincent's face. "It's okay….it's okay…I'm sorry I shouldn't have said…" He felt guilty…unbelievably guilty. The captain began to stroke the latter's hair. "I'm sorry, Vincent….just forget about what I said."
"Cid…" Crimson eyes stared pathetically at the ice blue irises of Cid. " Just this once…you can…k-kiss..me…" Cid's gaped.
"Wha—what?"
"I want to know something…I have to know…this.." Cid swallowed hard hearing the gulping noise travel down his throat, he slowly leaned over to lay his lips on Vincent's, this time the gunman's eyes were closed. He hadn't resisted like he had done in times past. The captain ran his hands down Vincent's back and chest eventually toppling him over onto the bed. He looked down at the gunman who's expression resembled a confused lust. Cid kissed Vincent harder, their tongues intertwined with each other. He let his hand drift over the latter's body until…
He hadn't realized that they had gone so far…He hadn't realized that it would feel so good, that every touch and movement would feel like ecstasy. He never would've thought that he would be so vocal He hadn't realized that the word's he had whispered so long ago would come back to haunt him again. Vincent grabbed Cid and sighed, he stared into the eyes of the man who swore that he loved him…who made him so happy and pained his heart so much. The gunman cringed and dug himself into Cid's chest. "I'm so disgusting….I'm really…I'm such a disgusting person!!" His tears came again and Cid could feel the small drops of moisture trail down his chest.
"You're not disgusting, Vince." He embraced the trembling man and leaned him back down on the bed. "Did…it hurt?" Vincent didn't respond, their naked bodies huddled against one another for warmth under the thin blanket. "It's okay, Vince…" He felt disgusted…ashamed…embarrassed…almost every emotion except happiness crept into his body and all he could do was weep in front of the man whom he knew nothing of whether or not love could exist between them. And in all the madness he felt at peace in the captain's warm embrace. Cid held Vincent until he had cried himself to sleep like a child, the captain brushed away a fresh stray tear and kissed the gunman's forehead. His heart wretched and he felt the urge to throw himself off a tall building. "What have I done…" He lay next to Vincent and examined his sleeping face. "We're both fucking men…" He studied the fragile lips he had kissed moments before. "And he…still loves her…" Every moment seemed to slow. "And yet…I can't help this feeling…"
A voice came through the intercom, the person spoke obnoxiously loud stirring awake the Captain from his slumber.
"Captain!! Where are you?! We already landed the ship!!" Cid sluggishly got up and stared groggily across the room. Suddenly he realized…
"Vincent?!" He sprang from the bed and looked for red and black…his clothes were gone. "VINCE!!"
He dashed out of the room still zipping up his pants and putting on his shirt; crew members dodged his pursuit, he didn't know where to look, the deck, the cabins…no where….Vincent was gone. "Sonuva—" Cid grabbed his cell phone out of his pocket and hammered the buttons. The phone rang….one…two…seven...eight… He threw the phone at the wall in frustration; it broke in two and fell to the floor along with Cid in defeat. "I really screwed up again…" The captain clenched his fist slamming it against the metal wall, he threw his head back and stared at the ceiling holding back his urge to scream. "You just had to leave me again…"