Hey… So this is the first thing I've written in about, roughly, forever. It's a Christmas fic because I told my friend to give me prompts and then this crawled out. Sorry if I bring shame on the Ashes fandom and constructive criticism is GREATLY appreciated.

Cheers, ObLivvyOus xx

"I just don't understand…" Chris repeated for what must have been the sixth time that evening, initiating a simultaneous groan from his three companions.

Shaz, who had considerably more patience with him than the other two, rested an arm on his shoulder and gave a small smile, "We-"

"We've been over this you twonk!" Ray twisted Chris around and pushed a pint in his direction, "Just drink this and it won't matter." A hand shot between Chris and the glass and promptly snatched it away leaving him to fire glances of equal at confusion at the glass, then Ray and finally at the Christmas decorations that filled The Railway Arms.

The ex-detective constable paused for a couple of seconds and then stroked his hand on the tinsel that lined the edge of the bar. A few seconds later Shaz had placed her arm on his shoulder and given him a reassuring squeeze, "Chri-"

"Chris, it's happening whether you like it or not," Alex, who had swiped the pint glass previously, took a sip and pushed it back towards Ray, "You don't need to understand it. Just accept it."

Chris, with this newfound wisdom, stared up at the ceiling for a couple of seconds only to see a paper chain and promptly crash his head against the bar. The tinsel, whilst it decreased the damage inflicted on his forehead, only induced further distress. Once again, Shaz rested a hand on his shoulder and gave a fond sigh, "M-"

"MERRY CHRISTMAS!" A voice shouted as they burst through the double doors. Shaz, sick of the interruptions, groaned and gave up attempting to calm Chris down. She rose from her seat and diverted her attention towards the interruption: Annie and Sam, and pulled both of them into hugs.

"To you too," Shaz smiled warmly and moved aside so the others, bar Chris, could hug them as well. After a couple of minutes of exchanging pleasantries Alex, Annie and Shaz moved to sit on one side of a booth leaving Ray and Sam to stare at Chris.

Sam, after a couple of seconds, opened his mouth to speak, "Wh-"

"Don't. Just don't ask," Ray warned and hooked an arm around Chris. The two of them all but dragged Chris over to sit on the other side of the booth, situating Chris on the far side so he could be as far away from the holly as possible.

Annie looked perplexed for a couple of seconds, "Chris, honey, what's wrong?" She reached across the table and patted him on the shoulder. In response she only received a weak stare and a small, dejected sigh.

For a couple of seconds Annie looked helplessly round at the rest of the group who did their best to avoid eye contact before simply targeting Alex, "What's up with Chris?"

Alex sighed, "Chris doesn't understand why we're celebrating Christmas." She said simply, "He's confused because time doesn't pass… conventionally here so how can it be decided when Christmas is?" Alex rolled her eyes and began to pour herself a glass of wine, "Anyone else?" She gestured the bottle towards the rest of the group.

"Well it is justified then?" Annie said and shrunk in her seat as she received two death glares, "No, it is," She insisted, "A lot of things don't make sense here…" She held out her glass to Alex who poured and motioned for her to continue, "Have you tried explaining it to him?"

"Course we 'ave, 'ave you ever tried explaining ought to 'im?" Ray cut in.

"How?" Annie smiled patiently.

"What?"

"How did you explain it to him? You don't understand exactly how it works here do you?"

"Well no-"

"Then surely he can't be blamed," Sam concluded.

Ray sighed, "Might've known you'd stick up for her. Bloody women turned the lot of you sof- OW!" He shot a glare at Shaz and Alex, unable to tell which of them had just struck their heel on top of his foot.

Sam sighed, "Chris, I don't understand it either, but its happening and we can't change it," He smiled slightly, "Come on, it'll be good. It's the first proper Christmas we've all had together for ages." The air tensed. Conversation dried up for a couple of minutes, the sound of Shakin' Stevens seemed to dim in the background. Sam, realising his mistake, cleared his throat, "I mean- Well not all of us obviously," He stammered.

"Look Chris, you don't have to understand it to enjoy it, it'll be fun," Shaz smiled, "Come on, you love Christmas."

Chris sat up a little straighter, some of the colour reappearing in his cheeks, "So you lot don't understand either?" He paused, "Not even you ma'am- Sorry boss, Alex. You don't understand it either Alex?"

Alex, who had zoned out a little, forced a smile, "Not at all Chris," She took another sip of her wine and stared around the pub.

Small groups were clustered at some of the tables but it was far emptier than the usual Wednesday. A couple moved towards the juke box where Mariah Carey soon began to play. Every sniff she took she could smell the turkey, stuffing and everything constituting a 'proper Christmas dinner' cooking elsewhere. Decorations adorned the entire room, spanning across all surfaces. The main focal point however were the huge trees, particularly the one at the side of the bar, decorated in all sorts of decorations some modern whilst others were much older. The six of them had decorated it a week previously (it had been what had kick-started Chris' spiral into despair), each of them having found decorations that were more from their actual time. It had been a strange conversation to have but had brought the group far closer.

She couldn't help but feel something was missing though.

Or maybe someone.

A warm arm wrapped around her and she felt herself pulled toward Shaz, "It'll be alright Alex," Almost everyone had managed to drop their respective job titles by this point, "It's not gunna be forever. He could easily be here next Christmas."

Alex sighed, "I don't think he will. He's probably forgotten already."

"OI WATCH IT!" A voice yelled as a figure collapsed into the tree closest to their booth. The tree shook and a few of the baubles, thankfully mostly the plastic ones, fell to the floor. However, after teetering precariously at the top of the tree, the fragile star followed the descent of the baubles and promptly smashed.

The figure, a redheaded woman in her 40s, blushed as she found six pairs of eyes fixed on her, "I'm so so sorry! I didn't mean. I was just heading to clear those glasses and I didn't see-" She gestured to the other person, a man in his late 20s, "I'm sorry!" She repeated and disappeared in search of a brush to clear up the mess leaving the man to huff and then walk out of one of the pubs many doors, this one leading to an outside area.

Alex shivered, she was unsure if it was the chill from the door or the sight of the smashed star that lie on the floor that had caused it. She looked at the others around the table; they all seemed to have resumed their chatter, except Ray who was now staring at the redhead already heading back to sweep.

"I'm just going to nip outside," Alex said and rose from her chair. Shaz moved to follow her but Alex raised her hand, "No it's fine," She smiled softly, "Thank you, but I'll be fine… I'm just going to go for a walk."

For a couple of seconds Shaz looked like she was still ready to follow but soon sat down again, pulled back into conversation by something Chris had said. She turned around as Alex put on her coat, "If you're sure."

"I am, I'll be back for dinner," Alex smiled and turned right towards a set of about six doors. She paused for a couple of seconds and pulled open an oak door with no windows and an ornate gold handle. She hadn't learnt where all the doors led by this point and she strongly doubted even those that had been there the longest had any idea. They also seemed to change, much like the stairs in Hogwarts as she'd remarked to the others one day… Only Sam had understood that one.

Outside, she found herself on a street where snow was falling heavily which nearly caused her to turn back inside; only she didn't actually feel cold. The street seemed quite familiar, although that wasn't unusual for what was beyond the pub doors. It was night time, the only light being provided by the dim glow of street lights. She looked back at the door, memorising its location, although she didn't doubt there would be more doors further on.

Eventually, she geared herself up and began to walk along the street; after all if the door had taken her here it must be for something important. At the end she reached a more main road, this one with a few pedestrians milling around. Although those were most likely people like her, it wasn't very often that the doors led to the 'real' world and Alex had never encountered it herself. No matter how many times she willed to see Molly or Gene.

Maybe that was the problem; she was torn, so the pub didn't know where to take her. Alex shook her head and tried to clear any thoughts of the pub actually being able to understand her own thought process when she barely understood it herself. More and more Alex was beginning to believe a psychological analysis on her would be more essential than her providing her insight to anyone else.

Gene would have had a field day.

A teenager on a cyclist was approaching at speed from the other side of the street and Alex rolled her eyes then quickly felt a pang of sympathy: to have died so young. The cyclist didn't seem to be stopping and Alex widened her eyes in alarm and quickly jumped out of the way last minute, "Hey!" She shouted in alarm. The cyclist didn't pay her any attention and neither did the other pedestrian within a five metre radius.

Alex ducked her head, her breathing heavy, she'd made it. She was going to be able to find one of them.

With more confidence this time she continued her journey only noticing now that her heels made no noise on the pavement and no longer attributing the lack of cold to her coat. Little details like parked cars were willing her to keep moving, she recognised the era they belonged to. An era she knew far too well having experienced it twice in her lifetime. Well, not lifetime she supposed.

After about ten minutes of walking she found a street she recognised, only vaguely, but from it she navigated her way to Luigi's. What she found however left her leaning against the wall attempting to catch her breath once again. The entire place was boarded up, well except for one window which had been smashed through. A giant chain stretched across the doors.

He had said he'd inherited enough money to move away. Alex, however, seemed to have expected the whole place to stop in her absence.

She'd expected Gene to stop.

She'd wanted Gene to stop, on some selfish level.

Now, she was beginning to realise he probably hadn't. He could've moved on. He could've found someone else. He could've forgotten her.

Bending forwards, she rested her hands on her knees, and remained still until the breathless panic had stopped. Difficult, when her mind was driving her to so many terrible situations. With a last deep breath she stood straight, pausing to let the light-headedness pass. Looking at Luigi's she found the door now glowing with 'The Railway Arms' printed in large letters on the glass.

She shook her head slightly to herself, squared her shoulders, and walked towards the station. The lights were out at the front and she concluded the doors were probably locked. Alex closed her eyes and took a slow, deep breath, walked towards them and consequently straight through them. It was strange to be in such a familiar place and make no impact whatsoever.

Once inside she moved through the dark station with ease, not stopping at all this time. Outside CID though she halted so abruptly she surprised even herself and slowly began to realise how little thought she'd put into the whole situation. Not that she'd need a plan really. He wouldn't be able to see her.

Upon her last realisation she clenched her hands into fists and gasped for air. What was the point in it all then? What was the point in upsetting herself when she'd get no closure and not even be able to speak to him? She missed him so much it hurt and she doubted she'd be able to cope with just seeing him.

Her eyes darted to the floor where a faint glow of light crept from within. Suddenly she felt the cold she should've felt outside. The shiver hit her like the gunshot so very long ago and she collapsed to the floor with a thud. Crumbling, she brought her knees to her chest and focussed her eyes on the light in the floor directly in front of her. Deafening silence of the station brought her attention to her breathing, a wheezing far too reckless to be healthy.

But what did being healthy matter when you were dead and had barely anything to keep going for?

She'd lost her parents but she'd had Evan. She'd lost Molly but had Gene to help her. Now, she'd lost Gene and although she had the rest of CID they just weren't Gene.

Loneliness crept through her, filling her veins and crippling her further. Now she was isolated in a world where she didn't even exist anymore!

BANG!

The door to CID boomed open and Gene thrust his head out looking down the dark, deserted corridors. Alex squinted at him and sat up slightly. He continued to look around and stared straight through Alex. Shaking his head, he turned around and began to walk back to his office, muttering to himself.

For a little while Alex just sat in silence, stunned. Scrambling to her feet she hurried through the door without a thought. To her right she glanced at her old desk, a new name she didn't recognise.

DI David Griffin

Someone most likely lost as she had been. Waiting to be fixed by Gene, as Sam had been and then she had been, in so many ways. This was why her thoughts were selfish. People needed Gene. Not that she had thought that when she'd first arrived but he had helped her, he had healed her, he had allowed her to move on. She hadn't gotten very far though, not when Gene plagued her mind in most of her waking hours.

A lot of the other desks had new names too. Alex felt a pang of jealousy when she'd spotted a woman's name but after all the unfamiliarity it quickly malformed into guilt and remorse. If Gene didn't remember sending them to the pub then did he think his team, that she had just abandoned him?

Now, she allowed herself to look towards the enclosed office at the back of the room. Where a large amount of their fights had taken place, where they'd shared some of their closest moments, some of them encompassing both. He was sat at an angle staring at the corner of the room, a glass in his hand. In her head she could imagine the smell, his smell, not as unpleasant as it should've been. Creeping forward, although unnecessarily, she slipped through the door and heard him softly muttering to himself.

His body shivered slightly but he barely seemed to notice. Alex remained at the very back of the room just in front of the door unable to will herself any further. It was strange. Her head was unusually empty and instead of sadness she found herself content in just watching him, listening to him. Just being in his presence was enough to calm her fears and assure her that everything was going to be okay, was okay, it was something she'd never felt with Pete.

Although everything clearly wasn't okay, she'd realised, Gene was muttering to himself. At first she'd considered it just being down to the alcohol but the only bottle on the table was nearly full apart from the small amount in his glass. On the table lay two piles of paperwork: the larger pile, surprisingly, was the one filled by Gene's scrawl as opposed to the blank one.

"Thought you'd notice that," Gene's voice rumbled, barely a whisper.

Alex gasped and took a slight step back staring at Gene. His eyes were now directed at the paperwork. Hesitantly, she stepped slowly forward until she was standing directly in front of the desk. Her hands moved towards the paperwork but she found they could still pass through. She looked at Gene now, his eyes still on the paperwork, now she was closer she saw his hand shaking slightly.

He shook his head and drained the alcohol in his glass before pouring more, "Why can't you leave me alone even when yer gone Bolls?" He asked, still not looking at her, Alex wasn't entirely sure he could even see or hear her, "You'd have psycho-wotsited me now." He sighed and took another gulp from the glass. This time when he finished he rested it on top of his paperwork and clenched and unclenched his fist.

Alex allowed herself to move closer, to rest a hand on his shoulder. She wasn't imagining it when he tensed and then shivered. Both of them remained silent for a couple of minutes, Alex sure he wouldn't hear her voice even if she were to speak.

"I didn't forget." Gene admitted, probably as much to himself. He wasn't entirely sure whom he was speaking to, it was the same most nights. But if he didn't say it now, when he could feel her so strongly, then what was the point? "Sometimes I do." He opened a draw to his left revealing her name plaque, and Shaz, Chris and Ray's, "But this keeps it 'ere." He tapped his head provoking memories of when he'd done the same in the shadowy room in the farm.

Alex stared into the draw and rested both hands on his shoulders, kissing the top of his head softly. Gene seemed to relax backwards slightly, "New DI is doin' well, doesn't fight like you and Sam did." He paused, "But 'e's quieter. Gunna take 'im a long time." He turned to look out into the main office, most of it indistinguishable except for the light from this room forming a path straight to the door.

He sighed and Alex moved to sit on the desk in front of him, her back to the door, so she could better see his face. Gene Hunt looked tired, worn, not like when she'd seen him after a few drinks, worse. He looked old; he looked like he was struggling. Stress contorted his features and sadness deepened the creases on his face.

She rested a palm to his cheek, not feeling them but offering her presence for whatever it was worth. Once again, he relaxed slightly, "What 'ave you done to me Bolls," This time he spoke properly instead of muttering, "I was fine wi' this before you barged in," His tone was fond, not hostile.

"How the mighty have fallen," Alex whispered and shuffled closer to him planting a kiss on his cheek.

Gene chuckled softly and looked up, stared right through her and at the door again, a frown now forming on his face. He glanced outside, at the heavy snow, then to his coat. Silently, he grabbed his coat and stood up. He drained the last of his glass and headed out the door.

Alex jumped to follow after him but as soon as she reached the door she bounced back. Above her towered the glowing door of The Railway Arms. She scrambled to her feet and backed up against the table in horror. Her head fell into her hands and she sobbed slightly, "No," She whispered. I need more time.

The door didn't disappear. If anything it glowed brighter. Gritting her teeth she ran towards one of the office windows but rebounded back to the floor, "Please," She whispered, tears freely falling down her cheeks, "Pl- please," Her voice broke between sobs.

The eerie white glow remained in the room. Alex had no idea how long she remained, leant against the desk feeling more broken than she had before. Why had it decided it was her time to go back now? She was in a worse state. It was supposed to make her better wasn't it?

Steeling herself and wiping her eyes she placed a hand on the door and pushed it.

'Where treetops glisten, and children listen'

The Christmas music was louder than before now, the pub busier and so was the background hum of chatter. She spotted the group at the same booth, now joined by the redhead Ray had been looking at earlier.

About time, she thought to herself. As opposed to Ray's usual approach he'd been careful and slow around this woman to the point it was almost pathetic. Chris and Sam had had their fun taking the mick out of that one.

Instead of heading straight towards them she made her way to the bar. It wasn't Nelson that came to serve her, though that wasn't unusual: she didn't see much of him really; it was a huge place after all even if this one was just the police force. She had to some extent hoped that he'd see her after where she'd been, "Evening Alex," Lucy, a woman she'd been served by a lot, smiled, "What can I get you?"

"Surprise me," She smiled back and stared back at the group, "And one each of whatever they're all having."

Lucy was unusually silent while she poured all the drinks, she kept giving her small glances and reassuring smiles. Alex supposed she knew where she'd been, "Why did the door come for me? I wasn't ready." She asked as Lucy poured what must be one of the last drinks, the tray was getting rather full.

She took a couple of seconds to consider her reply, "You'd completed everything you needed to do," She shrugged.

"But I-" Alex began to protest.

"Trust me Alex, nothing is done randomly," She pushed the tray towards her. Alex turned to hop off the bar stool only to find Lucy gone once she collected the tray. Rolling her eyes she walked back to the table and rested the tray at the end letting the others reach forward to find their drink. Shaz shuffled along so Alex could sit down.

When they'd finished scrambling around Alex reached for her glass and looked around to see who hadn't claimed the remaining one on the tray. Everyone seemed to have their drinks, even the new redheaded lady who Alex would really need to learn the name of.

"Whose that one for?" Shaz asked nodding her head towards the glass.

Alex furrowed her brow in confusion; "I don't know…" she shrugged then took a small sip from her glass, "Well Lucy served me so you never know with that woman…" She smirked and Shaz giggled slightly.

In the pit of her stomach Alex felt there was something else going on, after all Lucy herself had stated that nothing was random.

With a sigh she turned and re-joined the others in conversation which had turned towards how long it'd take for the food to be served. Chris, gaining some self-satisfaction after the comments he had received earlier stated, "Just accept that it's not happening right now and you can't change it."

"Prat," Ray muttered.

"Drink this, you'll feel better," He gestured towards Ray's glass.

"Twonk."

"You've used that one already," Shaz smirked, "Can you not think of anything new?"

"Well-" Ray began but was halted as his jaw involuntarily dropped, rather comically.

Alex turned around, her attention first registering the glass missing from the tray and then the fact her DCI was now stood at the end of the table drinking from said glass.

"Oh," She said aloud.

"Oh?" Gene smirked, "I come 'ere and only get an oh."

"Well the first time I did faint, you really didn't expect a repeat performance did you?" Alex smiled and rose from her seat. Then stood awkwardly. Not knowing how to react.

Gene's lips twitched into another smirk, "Repeat performance eh?" He wrapped one arm around her neck and another under her knees. She squealed in protest as Gene carried her out of one of the doors, this one led to a pretty conventional looking beer garden. A conveniently empty beer garden.

"What are you doing here?" Alex exclaimed as she was placed firmly back on the floor.

Gene avoided her gaze, "Thought you'd be pleased to see me Alex."

"I am!" She replied, a little more enthusiastically than she'd intended, coughing a little she corrected, "I am Gene."

Silence fell upon the two of them for a bit, although for the most part it was a comfortable one.

"The new DI, 'e's DCI now," Gene began, "They meant for 'im to take over from the start. Knew I wouldn't stay for long."

It took a little while for Alex to register what he was talking about, her brain was still busy trying to come to terms with the fact Gene was actually there, "Why?" He met her gaze this time and shot her a questioning look, "Why are you here, now? You didn't want to come when you dropped us off here," Her voice was breaking slightly again, what from she couldn't really tell: be it anger for him leaving her or happiness for him finally being there.

"Why do yer think?" Gene shrugged and took a step towards Alex, "You came to see me… Didn't you?" He seemed unsure now and stepped back.

Alex walked forward to meet him, "I did," she admitted, "I'd tried to so many times… I didn't know you knew I was there."

"Hard not to Bolls," He looked at her now, "That's why I came. Nothing left there now, it wasn't working there anymore."

"So you're going to stay?" Alex asked, trying not to sound too hopeful though she did acknowledge she'd probably failed rather miserably.

"Yeah. I am," He stated simply.

Alex couldn't help the grin that spread across her face this time, "Good!" She smiled, "Good," She repeated again and closed the gap between them. He bent down and brought their lips together. It lasted longer than the first time she'd kissed him. The goodbye that had felt like the last time she'd see him. Now they had nothing less than… well… forever really, and that sounded good to Alex.

Gene pulled away, "Yer thinking," He smiled fondly.

"Aren't I always?"

"Better go speak to that sorry excuse I used to call a team."

Alex rolled her eyes, "Heaven knows how we coped without you for so long…"

Back inside the team were oddly inanimate and all involved in one conversation turning to Ray and Chris in turn and occasionally listening to Sam's own input, "An' he carried 'er into the station like that," Ray finished.

"Makes more sense now we know why she fainted," Chris shrugged.

"Probably still doesn't make that much sense to you though Christopher," Gene remarked as he sat beside Alex at the table.

Chris shrugged and grinned, "What's that guv?" He nodded at the gift bag sat at the end of the table which Alex had only just noticed really going to have to become more observant again she thought to herself.

"Nelson gave it me," Gene glared at it for a couple of seconds before opening it and then looking more confused than he had previously. From the bag he removed an angel made from a wooden clothes peg wearing a white handmade dress, "Mam made this," He remarked.

"The star broke on our tree earlier!" Chris exclaimed jumping from his seat, verbalising what everyone else had been thinking.

"Twonk," Ray muttered.

Shaz sighed, "That's three times, is Eleanor making you dopey already?"

The team rose from their seats and moved toward the tree watching in a kind of awe as Gene placed it on the top; a bit lopsided which Alex soon corrected. Now, it no longer felt like there was something missing.

"Why is it Christmas anyway?"

The ex-DCI didn't feel at all justified when he received five murderous glances.