KRILLIN: remember THE NAMEK SAGA
THE Z WARRIORS: wasnt that filler
MECHA-FRIEZA, LANDING ON EARTH: no
VEGETA: [badmans menacingly]
[TRUNKS APPEARS OUT OF NOWHERE]
MECHA-FRIEZA: its a good thing THE LEGENDARY SUPER SAIYAN only happens once every thousand years
TRUNKS: try watching THE BUU SAGA, asshole
[TRUNKS SLICES MECHA-FRIEZA into a lot of pieces after turning SUPER SAIYAN]
MECHA-FRIEZA: just wait until SUPER...
[FRIEZA DIES]
KING COLD: im here too
[KING COLD dies]
GOKU: and now im here
TRUNKS: androids!
GOKU: androids?
TRUNKS: yeah
TRUNKS: by the way im VEGETA'S son and you get a heart virus and die
GOKU: haha you have a bad dad
TRUNKS: OK
TRUNKS: say hi to GOHANfor me
[TRUNKS GOES BACK TO THE FUTURE PART II]
GOKU: idiot...GRANDPA GOHAN is dead
[EVERYONE TRAINS FOR 3 YEARS]
DR GERO: knock knock its android o clock
[SOUTH CITY is attacked by GERO and ANDROID 19]
YAMCHA: heh...foolish androids...ill show you my Ultimate Death Wolf Fang Fist
[YAMCHA gets punched through the chest by GERO]
GOKU: ah man...lets go to THE DESERT
[THEY do]
GOKU: im gonna go SUPER SAIYAN
ANDROID 19: oh no
[GOKU gets the HEART VIRUS]
VEGETA: its okay KAKAROTTO i can go super saiyan too
GOKU: what the hell is a super saiyan two
[VEGETA kills #19 and GOKU fucks off to KAME HOUSE or something]
GERO: this sucks
[GERO runs away to his SECRET LAB]
PICCOLO: this sucks
[PICCOLO and the other Z-WARRIORS chase GERO]
KRILLIN: trunks i found him and the secret lab
TRUNKS: hey does he have other androids because he isnt from my future
[GERO ACTIVATES ANDROIDS 17 AND 18]
ANDROID 17: hey
[#17 kills GERO]
Z-WARRIORS: ah damn what
ANDROID 18: anyways theres another android and we are going to set that android free
TRUNKS: if they set that android free it will be the end of all of us
KRILLIN: wh
TRUNKS: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
[TRUNKS goes SUPER SAIYAN and blows up GERO'S LAB]
TIEN: did it work
ANDROID 18: no
[#18 breaks SUPER SAIYAN VEGETA'S arms]
ANDROID 17: lets steal a car and kill goku
what do you think 16
ANDROID 16: birds
[THE Z-WARRIORS flee to KAMI house]
TRUNKS: at least SUPER ANDROID 13 isnt canon
ROSHI: so what happened in the future
TRUNKS: even KRILLIN fell to the might of the androids
THE Z-WARRIORS: what
TRUNKS: even KRILLIN fell to the might of the androids
GOHAN: what happened to me
TRUNKS: you lost an arm
GOHAN: i dont know why i asked
BULMA: found a time machine
oh by the way im with VEGETA and we had a kid named TRUNKS
i should have told you earlier but i dont remember the exact pacing
TRUNKS: ok
[TRUNKS and GOHAN look at TIME MACHINE]
TRUNKS: okay it looks like mine but its not
GOHAN: look at this egg
BULMA: it looks big enough to fit a cell jr in there
GOHAN: or a saibaman
[anyways, PICCOLO is a KAMI'S LOOKOUT]
PICCOLO: FUI
KAMI: SION
PICCOLO AND KAMI: HA!
NEITHER KAMI NOR PICCOLO: I am NEITHER KAMI NOR PICCOLO
[back at KAMI HOUSE]
NEWS ANCHOR ON TV: im getting reports that the androids arent the main antagonists in this saga
[? kills NEWS ANCHOR]
[NEITHER KAMI NOR PICCOLO goes to WEST CITY or where that takes place]
?: ah PICCOLO its you
NEITHER KAMI NOR PICCOLO: actually im neither k
?: Stop
[PICCOLO beat up CELL, probably for an EPISODE or TWO]
?: anyways my name is IMPERFECT CELL
PICCOLO: why the imperfect part
IMPERFECT CELL: because im self conscious
[IMPERFECT CELL uses the SOLAR FLARE to run away]
GOKU: im better now also i perfectly understand what is going on
hyperbolic time chamber time
GOHAN, TRUNKS, AND VEGETA: yeah okay
[PICCOLO fights ANDROID 17]
ANDROID 17: man this is a really cool fight i sure hope someone doesnt show up and
IMPERFECT CELL: this is my saga
[IMPERFECT CELL ABSORBS 17 and BECOMES SEMIPERFECT CELL]
SEMIPERFECT CELL: dont worry he'll be back in gt
[AUDIENCE BOOS]
ANDROID 18: theres always the universal survival arc
TIEN: you guys need to stop CHAIOTZU is trying to sleep
[TIEN uses the NEO TRI BEAM on SEMIPERFECT CELL like FIVE TIMES]
SEMIPERFECT CELL: anyways
why do i feel a part of me died
[FLASHBACK]
TRUNKS: hey lets go kill PRESENT CELL
KRILLIN: ok
[THEY do]
SEMIPERFECT CELL: that explains it
ANDROID 16: hey 18 you should leave before CELL absorbs you
ANDROID 18: nah
TIEN: please get out
ANDROID 18: ehhh
PICCOLO: fucking go
ANDROID 18: hol up a minute
SEMIPERFECT CELL: seriously just go its to soon to end this saga now
ANDROID 18: fine
[#18 runs away]
[back on THE LOOKOUT]
GOKU: sure is good to know SUPER SAIYAN GRADES
VEGETA, TRUNKS, AND GOHAN: please shut the fuck up
[VEGETA AND TRUNKS go to fight SEMIPERFECT CELL, GOHAN and GOKU enter the TIME CHAMBER]
VEGETA: no longer am i VEGETA...i am...ALL OF ME
i mean
SUPER VEGETA
SEMIPERFECT CELL: thats cute
[SUPER VEGETA kicks the shit out of SEMIPERFECT CELL]
SEMIPERFECT CELL: yeah well i bet i would be pretty strong if i absorbed ANDROID 18 and become PRETTY MUCH PERFECT CELL
SUPER VEGETA: okay
[CELL absorbs ANDROID 18 and becomes SERIOUSLY, HE MIGHT AS WELL BE PERFECT, RIGHT? CELL]
PERFECT CELL: okay im ABSOLUTELY PERFECT now
there is no way i could even be a little better
[PERFECT CELL beats up SUPER VEGETA]
TRUNKS: oh yeah watch this
[TRUNKS goes SUPER SAIYAN GRADE 3 or whatever the BUFF SUPER SAIYAN FORM]
BUFF TRUNKS: fight me
PERFECT CELL: okay
[PERFECT CELL WINS]
PERFECT CELL: im going to hold a THE CELL GAMES on NBC
MR. SATAN: nows my chance
[meanwhile in the TIME CHAMBER]
GOKU: GOHAN remember all those times you got mad
then suddenly you were stronger than all the bad guys
just do that
GOHAN: fuck off dad what does that even mean
[GOHAN goes SUPER SAIYAN 2 for like HALF A SECOND, FAINTS]
GOKU: sweet
[THE STUFF BEFORE THE CELL GAMES happen]
THE Z WARRIORS AND ALSO MR. SATAN: here we are at the CELL GAMES
PERFECT CELL: i just beat mr satan in the time it took to write the last line
GOKU: okay then im up
PERFECT CELL: SMASH THAT LIKE THEN
[GOKU uses INSTANT TRANSMISSION KAMEHAMEHA]
PERFECT CELL: whoa
GOKU: i give up
GOHAN should go next
PERFECT CELL: ok
[PERFECT CELL beats up GOHAN, creates CELL JRS]
CELL JRS: Our lives are worth nothing if we are not dismantling our enemies on the battlefield
ANDROID 16: im blowing myself up
this shit sucks
BULMA: whoops forgot to say
no more bomb inside you
PERFECT CELL: okay
[PERFECT CELL blows #16 to pieces]
ANDROID 16'S HEAD: GOHAN go SUPER SAIYAN TWO already
[PERFECT CELL KILLS ANDROID 16]
PERFECT CELL: aaaaaaaaaand you fuck up again GOHAN
GOHAN: this sucks
this really sucks
PERFECT CELL: hey by the way even thought you're 12 should i call you TEEN GOHAN
GOHAN: DIE
[GOHAN GOES SUPER SAIYAN 2]
GOHAN: you seriously made a huge mistake
[GOHAN kills all the CELL JRS BRUTALLY]
PERFECT CELL: what
[GOHAN kicks CELL so hard ANDROID 18 is freed and cell goes back to SEMIPERFECT CELL]
SEMIPERFECT CELL: ALRIGHT
[SEMIPERFECT CELL bloats himself up in an attempt to blow up the EARTH]
GOKU: okay i gotta fix this
EVERYONE: GOKU are you about to get killed
GOKU: yeah
but im taking KING KAI with me
[GOKU instant transmissions SEMIPERFECT CELL to KING KAI'S PLANET, CELL explodes, killing GOKU, CELL, and KING KAI]
GOHAN: well at least thats over
[CELL regenerates now SUPER PERFECT CELL, kills TRUNKS]
VEGETA: this sucks
GOHAN: uhhhhhhhhhhh
SUPER PERFECT CELL: check this sick trick gohan
[SUPER PERFECT CELL breaks GOHAN'S ARM]
GOHAN: now im gonna have to use the One Handed KAMEHAMEHA MK II
[THEY fight some MORE]
SUPER PERFECT CELL: okay im just going to do a SOLAR KAMEHAMEHA and kill the EARTH
GOHAN: no
[a BEAM STRUGGLE begins]
SUPER PERFECT CELL: its too bad im perfect so you cant beat me
GOHAN: ah bummer i guess the earth is dead now
[THE Z WARRIORS use the last of their KI to distract SUPER PERFECT CELL]
SUPER PERFECT CELL: say bye bye
GOKU'S GHOST (GHOSTKU): okay GOHAN let me do everything for you
[GOHAN uses the FATHER-SON KAMEHAMEHA]
SUPER PERFECT CELL: BUT IM SUPER PERRRRRRRRRRRFFFECT
[SUPER PERFECT CELL is VAPORIZED at the SUBATOMIC LEVEL]
GOHAN: well at least he won't be coming back as a robot
[THE Z WARRIORS TIE UP THE LOOSE ENDS]
KRILLIN: im just gonna make one wish real quick okay
Z WARRIORS: yeah okay
KRILLIN: bring android 18 back and take the bomb out of her chest
TRUNKS: yeah im going home
VEGETA: bye bye man
SHENRON: anyways y'all get like 78 wishes right whats your last one
EVERYONE: bring GOKU back
GOKU: nah
EVERYONE: wha
GOKU: im gonna go do filler stuff in OFFWORLD
TRUNKS: okay well cameraman forget about them for now come with me to my future
[TRUNKS goes back to his TIMELINE]
FUTURE ANDROIDS 17 AND 18: hey TRUNKS
[TRUNKS kills both of the FUTURE ANDROIDS]
TRUNKS: bye
[TRUNKS finds CELL]
FUTURE IMPERFECT CELL: wait how did you know
TRUNKS: the nightmare is over CELL
FUTURE IMPERFECT CELL: no
TRUNKS: DIE
FUTURE IMPERFECT CELL: NO
[TRUNKS kills FUTURE IMPERFECT CELL]
TRUNKS: if you think about it the CELL I just killed is from my TIMELINE, and the CELL KRILLIN and I killed was from the PRESENT TIMELINE, while the SUPER PERFECT CELL was from a TIMELINE where I failed
[TRUNKS FROM XENOVERSE SHOWS UP]
XENO TRUNKS: you need to shut your mouth right now
TRUNKS: remember when this was an arc about my struggle
[back to the MAIN TIMELINE]
GOKU: everyone know TORIYAMA wanted dragon ball to end at the
[TOEI breaks through MY WINDOW]
TOEI: thought you could get away with making dragon ball content without going through us, huh
NARRATOR: can THE AUTHOR overcome the mighty TOEI? will people ever understand GOHAN'S character? can i get a HELL YEAH?
[FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON DRAGON BALL Z!]