As mayor, I have a certain degree of class to uphold. I must be professional and influential, a good role model to the people of Storybrooke at all times.

But there is nothing classy about my current actions. I don't think that the town charter meant for this when it speaks of mayoral power. And it is certainly far from professional of me to be in my office with my skirt hiked up around my waist and panties by my feet, with one of the townspeople on her knees beneath the desk.

No, this is definitely not how a mayor should be behaving. But it's the only way I can get through another day while that woman insists on staying in my town. She's driving me insane. Her presence is infuriating. She just can't seem to stay out of my way. Wherever I go, she is always there, doing some good deed, making my people love her. Making my son love her.

I need some form of relief.

That's why, for most of the six months that Miss Swan has imposed upon my small community, I have been having these…encounters with Ruby. I need the distraction.

The intrusive woman just won't leave. She's like a leech. No matter what I have thrown her way, she just will not budge. It feels like, no matter where I go, I can't get away from that self-righteous smile or those deep, searching eyes.

So as she spreads her nauseatingly kind views across what seems to be every household, I do this. When it gets too much, when her constant do-gooder ways seem to be smothering me, I call my reliable little stress reliever.

Obviously, Ruby will never speak a word of this to anyone. At the minute that is because she thinks this is mutual attraction, so she won't expose this unless I agree. Clearly the girl isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer. Either that or she really just doesn't want to acknowledge my clear disinterest in her. Every time we do this it's either pitch black or just her tongue in me from beneath solid oak. I can't stand to look at her. One glimpse of her dark hair and colourful streaks sends my stomach plummeting to new depths. She has nothing that I want except the means to give me a good enough orgasm to get me through twenty-four more gruelling hours of this town's ridiculous Emma obsession.

I know that one day Ruby will realise that I'm using her. I know that she'll be upset by the revelation and end our arrangement. She may even want to talk about it, share the story. But my biggest concern with this scenario is finding another adequate yet foolish playmate. See, I am mayor for very good reason; I take all the required precautions. One must always be prepared for the worst case scenario. If she should, in her anger, wish to recount this tale, I believe the issue of Granny's crippling debt may reappear. See, I managed to call in a few favours for the old woman, but should her alliance with me be terminated, debt collectors will be on her like hounds.

Dear, sweet Ruby would never allow that so my image will remain untarnished.

She must have realised that my mind's not in this today because her probing tongue has slowed to nothing more than drawing lazy circles on my sensitive bundle of nerves.

It's not long before she stops all together and sighs. Oh no, she's going to talk to me.

"Regina?"

I stay looking up as I'm sure she now has her face above the barrier and in clear view. The only reply I give is a hum.

"Is…is everything alright?" She sounds worried. She really is too into me. "Just, you…you're not really…reacting."

I hate having conversations. I just want her to finish the job. Granted it's been a slow burner today, but I still need my release. I can't deal with Swan again without it.

"Everything's fine, my dear. I guess I'm just…distracted by work." I chance a look down to show 'sincerity', only to retreat immediately back to my spot on the ceiling. Her dark eyes a just so wrong.

"Maybe we should just talk. Cuddle a little."

"NO!" Oops, bad reaction. But what is she thinking? She tried to cuddle last night and I practically threw her out of my bedroom window still naked. She must be crazy to try it again. "I mean, I'm really close. Just…keep going, ok?"

She bought it, the smirk on her face as she disappeared again said as much. Then suddenly, her tongue was back on my clit with renewed energy as three unrelenting fingers slammed into me, burying themselves to the hilt with each thrust. This is definitely more like it. I can't hold back the moans as she picks up her pace, curling her fingers and sucking on my nub. There's no denying that this girl's fingers are much more skilled than her mouth.

My secretary's voice rings out over the intercom and slows Ruby's movements, but she doesn't stop. I groan loudly. It was just getting good.

"Madam Mayor, Sheriff Swan is on line 1. She said it's important."

Fucking woman!

Hold on. This may actually be the perfect time to deal with her. What's more convenient than having the cure already hard at work when Swan tries to get to me?

I press accept on the speaker phone and do my best to replace my low whimpers with a cold tone.

"What is it, Miss Swan?"

Ruby begins to withdraw her fingers once she realises I'm taking the call, but one hand in her hair and one on her shoulder seem to give her the hint as to what I want.

I want her how she was before the interruption. I want to cum hard as this bitch enrages me. I want the ultimate relief of being fucked while I'm so insanely angry. The kind of anger that only this irritating blonde can instil upon me.

Ruby resumes at a much more tentative pace, clearly worried about being heard.

"Madam Mayor, we need to talk about Henry."

That voice. Why must she always sound so perfect? She is so fucking sickly sweet. I've had it with her white knight routine.

"Why should I discuss MY son with you again, Sheriff?"

I start rocking my hips into those talented fingers, begging for more. Deeper, faster, anything. I just need more.

She complied, slamming into me for all she's worth.

"Because I care. I didn't call to fight. I just want to talk this through. He's OUR son. And whether we like it or not, I'm in your life now. And I'm never leaving, Mada…Regina."

I didn't see the edge coming until I was falling recklessly over it, too late to catch my cries of ecstasy.

Those powerful thrusts, my own name sounding so sexy echoing around my mind, and no thoughts but one.

I will be the undoing of Emma Swan.