My attempt to form coherent thoughts to go with Brittany's failure to graduate.
Title comes from the Jimmy Eat World song.
This is un-beta'd, so I apologies for any mistakes.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee, because if I did, Brittany would have graduated. And most of season 3 would have been rewritten.
Brittany knew she wasn't the cleverest person in the school. That much had been clear for years. It wasn't that she was stupid, she knew a lot about cool stuff, such as palaeontology, cat diseases, and analogue film cameras. But when it came to the sort of topics they studied at school, she was lost.
She supposed - as she sat on her bed, knees tucked under her chin - that she should have seen this coming, really.
"Neuken dom."
Brittany didn't like to swear often – that was always more Santana's thing – but she just felt so lost and angry with herself that she couldn't help the curse word from her mother's native tongue slip out.
Brittany had stopped believing in God years ago, so she could no longer blame God for her problems. Unfortunately, she had also recently lost faith in other people, so the only person she felt left to blame was herself.
She'd failed to graduate. Her nightmare had come true: she wasn't getting out of Lima.
"Echt neuken dom."
"Britt?" Brittany looked up to see Santana standing by her bedroom door, looking hesitant. Brittany coughed as tears began falling down her cheeks.
"I'm so sorry, San," Brittany choked, as Santana rushed over to the bed to wrap Brittany in her arms. Brittany had only told Santana that she had a 0.0 GPA because, truth be told, she had no idea what her actual GPA was, having not heard anything past "you are unable to graduate."
"Oh, Brittany," Santana sighed, as she rubbed circles into Brittany's back. She felt Brittany quaking beneath her touch, like a frightened deer. Which, she supposed, she sort of was, minus the deer part.
Brittany didn't know what to do; she had never felt so completely out of control of a situation. She didn't want to attend another year at McKinley, she was so sick of the place and the memories associated with it.
Glee club was no longer her family. Family meant no one gets left behind - she had learnt that from Lilo and Stitch. And Brittany felt so, so left behind.
Even Finn had managed to get out.
She buried her face further into Santana's neck, feeling so small in her arms. She'd spent all year trying to be strong and stoic for Santana, trying to make sure Santana never saw her cry, but she couldn't do it anymore. It hurt too much.
"Vergeet dan niet me," she pleaded quietly, clinging onto Santana as though Santana was a lifeboat and she was lost at sea.
"What's that, Britt-Britt?" Santana asked, not understanding. Brittany very rarely spoke Dutch in front of anyone who wasn't family, not even to Santana, though Santana spoke Spanish often.
"Please don't forget me," Brittany translated, voice clear, though more shaky, tears welling up again.
"Oh, honey, I will never leave you behind."
Brittany clung onto to Santana because she was no longer certain that was true.
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