Hello, everyone! I'm not at my house right now - in fact, I'm in Texas! Whoo! (So I'm an hour behind what I'm usually used to. It's a little trippy, but I've been trying to get used to hopping around time zones. In the next few weeks, I'm going to be on a lot of planes, so there's that, too.)

I got the inspiration from this thanks to MusicKeeper, who sent me this very funny tumblr photoset involving Obi-Wan and Hondo. Hence, this story was born. Enjoy!

Ways to Corrupt a Padawan

He had a headache, and he was absolutely sure it had nothing to do with the fact that he had just been on a three-hour flight. Nor did it have anything to do with the fact that he hadn't slept in twenty-four hours. And it certainly didn't have anything to do with the fact that he hadn't been able to have a moment of quiet to himself since he first took this mission.

No, those were all manageable stresses that could all be fixed with a good meditation. (Or a shower. Or sleep.)

But this particular headache, Obi-Wan Kenobi was sure, would require something a little more than simple meditation. (Or shower or sleep, for that matter. He'd probably need to take a few days of meditation and sleep to get over this one. Not that he'd admit this out loud.)

"Ah! Master Jedi – we meet again!"

"Again?" Kira whispered, bewildered. The young girl looked up at Obi-Wan. "Master, you know this man?"

"Unfortunately," Obi-Wan replied dryly. He ignored the wounded sound Hondo made in response.

"Unfortunately?" Hondo asked, disappointment clear in his voice. He slung an arm around Obi-Wan's shoulders and gave them a tight squeeze, adding, "But how could you possibly say such a thing, my friend? After all, I've been counting down the days for our next ah…meeting."

"I'm sure," Obi-Wan deadpanned, only to hear another loud laugh from Hondo. Obi-Wan took that chance to quietly shift out of the pirate's grip, saying, "We can't stay too long, Hondo. We're here strictly on business."

"Aren't we always?" Hondo asked loosely. Then, for the first time, it seemed, Hondo turned his attention to what – or who, to be more specific – was behind Obi-Wan. "Well, hello, there," Hondo said, his face split by a smile. "And who, Master Jedi, is this acquaintance of yours?"

Obi-Wan looked down at Kira.

Kira looked back up at him.

"She's my apprentice," Obi-Wan said – and just as those words came out, Hondo started clapping his hands in glee.

"Ah, good! Another tiny Jedi!"

"Hondo –"

"Tell me, child – have you ever heard of –"

"Hondo," Obi-Wan interrupted, this time letting the first notes of annoyance trickle into his voice. "What was that about business?" He was relieved to see Hondo straighten up and turn his attention back to him.

"Yes, yes," Hondo said, snapping his fingers. "That…ah, crashed fighter you were talking about. Very unfortunate about who was inside."

Obi-Wan heard Kira mutter, "Unfortunate for Hondo or unfortunate for Master Skywalker?"

"I would assume it was more trouble for Anakin," Obi-Wan replied under his breath.

"He's unharmed," Hondo said over his shoulder. "Just – ah – rather grumpy. Not good company, I believe. Still sore after our last meeting." At this, Kira shot Obi-Wan another bewildered look. Last meeting? she mouthed questioningly, though Obi-Wan only shook his head in response. He wasn't going to tell the story now, especially since they weren't in the clear yet. If there was anything he'd learned after being around Hondo, it was that any mission with the pirates – especially rescue missions – always ended up going the wrong way. There was no such thing as 'in-and-out' or simplicity when it came to his band of pirates – there was always something more.

The bad feeling Obi-Wan had only strengthened as they walked into the pirate's den. Already, he could smell the unpleasant mix of liquor, spices, sweat, and oil in the air. The first few notes of music came from a room across him – there were some loud shouting and boisterous cheering sounds coming from the next.

"How well did you say you knew Hondo again?" Kira asked, casting one of the rooms a disdainful look.

"Enough to know that he's a tricky fellow."

"Ah."

"Tiny Jedi!" Hondo called from the front.

Kira paused. "Is that me?" she asked, frowning.

"No," Obi-Wan replied just as Hondo said simultaneously, "Of course!"

Kira only gave Obi-Wan a small shrug before walking over to Hondo. Obi-Wan watched with a mix of worry and curiosity as Hondo started to talk to Kira. He watched Kira's reactions carefully – and at first, Kira's eyebrows shot up in surprise…and then she was giving Hondo a wry smile that grew into –

"See?" Hondo was asking excitedly. "You understand, yes?"

A few minutes later, Obi-Wan heard his apprentice laughing.

Force help me, he thought sadly to himself.

xXx

"Well, you certainly took your time," Anakin grouched as he was finally let out of his cell. ("You must understand why I put him there," Hondo told Obi-Wan when he started to protest. "He was most…disagreeable when we first found him." Obi-Wan could only imagine why.)

"We were sidetracked," Obi-Wan replied.

"By?"

Obi-Wan gestured to the space behind him.

"Yes, my child – large creatures floating in space! They could travel at hyper speed – in fact, if it weren't for them, then we might not have ever decided to take off into space," Hondo was telling Kira. The young girl's eyes were wide open, full of a mix of wonder and disbelief. Catching her excitement, Hondo added, "They're humongous – and friendly as long as you don't – ah – disturb them."

"Have you ever really run into them?"

"Of course, my child! A pirate never lies."

"Yeah, right."

Hondo roared in laughter, slapping his knee. "Kenobi! You must bring your tiny Jedi along more often!"

"Well, that explains that," Anakin muttered.

"I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it," Obi-Wan replied tiredly.

Anakin gave Obi-Wan a thump on the shoulder. "We'll be out of here."

"Gentlemen!" Hondo suddenly called, whirling around. "Before you go – a drink!"

"No," Anakin and Obi-Wan chorused.

"And you?" Hondo asked Kira.

Kira looked over at Obi-Wan. He shook his head quickly.

Then, with a sweet smile, the girl replied, "Sorry, Hondo. I can't play pretend for that long."

A/N - Just because. I apologize for not writing a whole ton as of late - I blame it all on the fact that the school load has been killing me and just recently, I was bedridden with a really terrible cold that took up the most of winter vacation. (I could hardly stand up without crashing into something, let alone stare at a bright screen for a few hours.)

As always, reviews would be appreciated! Constructive criticism is alright, but flames are not!