Vestige

"The time will come when I will die and leave you behind. That's why let me have it my way, the way I desire, with you."

When she heard those words come out of his lips, there was only one thing that came first right away on her mind—his inevitable, binding fate that will one day come; a reality that will surely crush her mind, her body, her soul, her everything. But Chizuru kept the bitter thought to herself and nevertheless nodded her head eagerly.

One day, someday, this man—her beloved man—will turn to ashes and disappear from this world.

That cruel reality never ceased to exhaust and bury itself deep into Chizuru's heart.

However, Chizuru did not know; Hijikata's words "let me have it my way" had a hidden intention to it. Lovemaking. Chizuru did not take notice that when Hijikata said those words, he had meant their nightly activity (it could be a day endeavor, too, of course) as husband and wife.

The sensual endeavors that unfolds in their mattress every night were desirous and sweet, and at the same time held a fervent vehemence that it made Chizuru forget everything—her anxiety, her worries, her fears for him. She had long accepted the love Hijikata held for her. Strong, deep, and fierce; he cherished her so much, in so many ways, that sometimes it will lead him to madness. Chizuru found no wrong in that—she found no wrong in every one of the sweet sensual pain. She believed she loves him just the way he loves her. That was why she finds the act plainly unequivocal. However, at times she wondered; what would her husband's persistency towards their lovemaking do to her. It might become an addiction to her, she thought one day, in the middle of the day when she lost once again to Hijikata's obstinate requests and his urgent hands on her body.

She could not stop it and it kind of scared her, but she could feel it (but couldn't account for it)—every day, he was gradually drowning her more and more with him.

＊＊＊＊＊

Only their hot and heavy mingling breaths and the steamy sounds filled the quiet darkness of the room. The spot right where they were joined had suddenly set apart and Chizuru, who was forcedly lying face-down on the mattress, felt numbness against her sensitive spot that it spontaneously made her give out a cry of disappointment. Just as they were reaching their limit, Hijikata had pulled out of her, and the fact that it caused her to feel unsatisfied made her flame in genuine shame. On the contrary, upon hearing her voice, the corners of Hijikata's mouth curved upwards in amused satisfaction. But with her face turned away and eyes shut, Chizuru could not have seen.

If he was to compare the woman in front him, she was just like a lovely bud of a Sakura flower, one who attempts to hide its enticing beauty it held, Hijikata thought. She was a living beauty only for him to know, to see, and to feel.

That's why without wiping off the smile on his face, Hijikata felt no shame in expressing the strong desire in him as he held Chizuru's backside, curved harmoniously, firmly to him as she lay face-down. This woman was nothing but a drug to him—she may not know it but she tempts him on and on, she made him want her to no end. And as if she knew what he was thinking, Chizuru gave another cry of pleasure, which only made Hijikata's chest tighten in desire. He knew it was not an act of luring him, but the result had always been the same—he couldn't stop the smile growing on his face.

＊＊＊＊＊

Every night when they make love, they would forget everything else and create their own world—both unaware of anything but each other. It was an act they made without notice, unconsciously and instinctively, sharing a sensation that held a peculiarity to it. It was not just about the saying "match made in heaven"—no. That would be saying too little. They share, they seize so much more than that, so much it was not enough to fill up with words.

One night, Chizuru had been folding her old and worn-out kimono to safely keep it away, while on the other hand she wore her night robe kimono on. That was when Hijikata, who had been watching her then, spoke that he would buy her a different one—one with a more rich texture to it—a white silk kimono. But Chizuru shrugged it off nonchalantly with a smile and objected that she did not need such a luxurious one.

Hijikata had chuckled then as his mind wandered off—he had imagined Chizuru with her snow-white skin, just like pure soft silk, and wearing a white silken kimono on, and then he would be the one to take off her obi and then he would be untying the cord tied around her waist underneath…. But the tempting thought slowly faded aside; because even without a white silk kimono on, Chizuru's skin was similar to white silk itself and pure as it is, it also held a luscious smoothness to it, and it was nothing but white. So white. Only white. No matter how much Hijikata defiled her, ravished her, marked her—every night, because of the naturally eccentric capability Chizuru held (one of the characteristics an Oni held), her skin would always return its clear whiteness, and would richly erase its scars.

Even though knowing that inevitable fact for a long time now, Hijikata could not avoid the sweet sorrow and bitterness he felt against that—that was how much he felt in his heart that he had fallen deeply to his woman.

＊＊＊＊＊

Sliding his hand in between the thin futon and his dear Chizuru's waist, Hijikata lifted up her body from behind, progressively making her stand on her knees. Chizuru immediately squeaked in surprise and resisted, but he paid no attention to it as he held her body firmly against him. For a while, Hijikata remained silent as he took in the beauty right before his eyes. Chizuru, who couldn't see his expression, felt slight uneasiness and tried to look over her shoulder to search for his face; but Hijikata stayed still and continued to examine her—devour her—with his eyes.

Why, Chizuru noticed, would Hijikata not say a thing? Unbeknownst to her, he seemed to be enjoying the way she resisted him with no hesitation. His lips kept a smile on.

The hips he held against him swayed a little, as if it was begging for something. And as if it was an invitation, Hijikata let his hand worked its way up, bringing the collar of her robe to slide off her shoulders, accordingly exposing Chizuru's chest and the tie around her waist barely hung to her thin kimono. Hijikata then gently lifted up the hem of her night robe—his lips gave yet a wider smile, only his eyes didn't give the same amusement. His eyes burned sharply through the night, glimmering in heat as he watched Chizuru's soft and white rear be exposed to him.

"Toshizou-san…please, forgive me…."

As if Chizuru sensed the burning heat in him, she spoke in breathless resistance, voice slightly shaking and lacking any strength to it. For a short moment, Hijikata felt his heart tremble as he heard her voice, but on the other hand, he could feel another flame burst in it, intensely increasing its hunger and desire.

"You had me tempted this much," he said. "You cannot just make me forgive you."

His voice was also shaking, Chizuru thought. She felt his voice shook as he spoke, so she tried once more to search for his eyes, but she noticed that Hijikata's gaze still remained on her most sensitive spot and it made her give a small yelp.

"Stop—" she resisted once again, but at the same time, Hijikata's eyes shone yet again and he inserted a finger in her spot. Chizuru's body jumped up in surprise, eyes widening instinctively.

Not a moment ago, her lower region had been relentlessly occupied by him but he had stopped suddenly, then he had devoured it with his eyes, and now he was smoothly tracing it with his finger. Chizuru felt a sharp shiver run through her, from her back up to the insides of her head, as if it was yearning more of the warm finger into her. Just as she could feel her knees collapse, Hijikata's left arm held onto her waist firmly.

He had only touched her lightly with his finger, but the soft breaths coming out of Chizuru's mouth were too sweet and he could feel it coaxing his brain slowly without end.

"Forgive me…"

Chizuru bended over, face-down once more on the futon, and Hijikata watched her small hand next to her face clutched the thin sheets. It only made him smile again.

"Getting impatient now, Chizuru?"

As if Chizuru agreed with his teasing words, her hips swayed once again, burying her probably flaming face in the futon, head shaking twice or thrice. Seeing that, Hijikata gave one breathless sigh and let himself be drowned endlessly into the figure in front of him—drowning into the shining and moist spot exposed to his eyes, sliding his index and middle fingers into it. As he traced and rubbed her soft walls, Chizuru's shoulders shook and he watched in amusement as her back arched in an elegant curve.

He continued to stroke her insides with his fingers, purposely avoiding the spot where she liked the most.

Chizuru knew that Hijikata was teasing her, and that he knew her body was slowly getting used to the delight he gave her. But still, it was not easy for her to put up with his teasing. For a minute, she could feel his fingers lightly touch the spot she wished to feel, but then he would move again and rub a different place. Every time he did that, she could hear own voice cry out in want and anticipation but at the same time in disappointment, and it made her embarrassed, gradually making her face—her whole body—burn red in shame. As Hijikata continued to tease her this way, even without being stroked in the spots she wished him to, fluids oozed out once again from the insides of Chizuru, running down Hijikata's fingers.

"Please, forgive me…"

The words that escaped her mouth had been the same to the ones before, but the fact that it held a different meaning, surprised Chizuru herself the most. At that moment, Hijikata let his fingers go deeper, and even without Chizuru's intention, her hot, dampened walls twitched in delight. And as if it was a signal, Hijikata pulled his fingers out. A small cry of discontentment escaped Chizuru's lips and it gave an enticing blazing sound to his ears. Matching the way he felt heat in his ears, another fire burst throughout Hijikata's whole body.

Grasping Chizuru's hips—which could crumble down anytime—firmly with both of his hands, Hijikata spread her slender legs with his right leg. He listened in delight as only sounds of anticipation came out of Chizuru's lips. He pushed his already heavily aroused shaft against her sensitive spot once again; he watched as it trembled in want and shone, as if inviting him.

For a moment, Hijikata took his time and breathed out a deep sigh.

Chizuru did not know what that meant. She had not a single idea what he meant but right now, the only thing that she knew was that he would go through her—in her—and break her zealously, lovingly, yearningly and he would make love to her again and again, and then he would easily bring her towards the height of her peak. She knew that much fact.

So for a moment, Chizuru also took the time to gather her breath out of her lungs.

"Aah!"

Without warning, Hijikata thrust into her and Chizuru did not bother to stop the sound of pleasure that escaped her mouth. Just several months ago, this woman in his arms did not have a full knowledge about the pleasure a woman gets. But as he taught her thoroughly piece by piece, Hijikata could not stop the excitement every time, and before he knew it, he had been drowned into her, by her, all of her. Even though she felt embarrassed and couldn't but be shy, the way she entrusts herself to her body's instincts and the way she follows his lead were all a drug to him. They were all for him to cherish. And every time, Hijikata felt his love grow more and more, increasing without break, knowing no end to it, and realizing the fact made him happy more than anything.

The area where they were joined together was drawn too much deep that it frightened Chizuru, so she made an attempt to move forward and away. Hijikata had sensed the action and went in deeper into her, the deepest he could reach, and then embraced Chizuru's body, bending his own over on top of her from behind.

"I won't let you go," he whispered between harsh breaths. His hands reached out to clutch Chizuru's disheveled hair and made her face him. He watched as Chizuru's white throat stretched and released an alluring sound.

"Ah…nn—…"

Hijikata's hips moved sleekly, and devoured Chizuru uncontrollably. Deep thrusts at times and shallow thrusts on the other; it was nothing but thrilling to him the way Chizuru would toss whenever he would stop his deep and swift thrusts, and instead alter to something more slow and vexing to both of them.

Chizuru felt her thoughts began to blur as the spots where she had most wanted his fingers to touch a while ago, were being struck with something harder, thicker, and warmer. She grabbed onto the sheets that spread out across her as she desperately tried to stop the upheaval of the pain and the pleasure she felt all over her body, with the deeply sinking thrusts from behind her. Doing so, her vision became hazed and they blurred with tears of pleasure filling her eyes.

Chizuru thinks that maybe she had loved Hijikata since the day they first met. He was unreachable. That had been her impression of him, but right now, she was receiving something she had not dreamt of—something more than she wished for. Grabbing her hair, he thrust the deepest of her insides and moved into her like a ferocious beast. The fact that she was unstoppably being devoured by him made Chizuru just want more and more of Hijikata, and she had not the power to stop it whether she like it or not.

"Toshi…zou—ahnn…"

The only thing she could do was cry and cry out in hoarse, breathless voice.

Dazed with Chizuru's sweet voice, Hijikata absentmindedly bit on the exposed snow-white shoulder of the woman in front of him. He was just like a beast, Hijikata had laughed at himself inwardly, but right now the last brink of reason barely left in him was telling him he could not just lose it and reach his peak this way.

He wanted to hear Chizuru's cries, her purrs, and her screams more and more.
He wanted to hear more of the heartrendingly sweet sounds from her lips.
He wanted to hear more, more, more—

If someday—one day—he were to leave Chizuru all alone, it must be after he had already taken possession of every piece of her. Hijikata would never allow himself to just go and part with the woman he loved without stealing, loving, everything he could, what he wanted from her—and by everything, he meant not only physically because above all, he held dear Chizuru's heart and her soul. It meant everything to him.

Just as he would steal every piece of her, he would give her everything of him—his love and all—until she would drown in desire. He would make love to her in many ways, many times, so that when the day comes when she would be all alone, she would be craving for him and would be writhing in want for him every night. Even without him in this world, he would make her long for him.

It was undeniable and at the same time amusing, Hijikata thought, digesting the strong possessiveness he felt for Chizuru. He did not realize he had quite a confined heart, he mused as he bit once again on Chizuru's creamy shoulder, which no longer supported the kimono sleeves on.

"Ah..nn…"

The pain of being bitten hard on the shoulder was no longer pain to Chizuru. Truly, she could feel pain and pleasure at the same time, but then again her body's instincts told her they were nothing but pleasure altogether. Pleasure would be pleasure, but pain was no longer pain. Everything was pleasure and it was all because of him, Chizuru thought subconsciously. Whatever she thought, though, would not make Hijikata stop. He kept on gorging her body, and when she felt that he had stopped, he would move again and give her another kind of pleasurable pain, which only made Chizuru ache for more.

"N-No…stop—"

Chizuru could feel more of the sensational feeling run excessively throughout her body, and desperately tried to hold it back. She clutched the futon tightly this time, shaking her head, her body trembling as she begged for help at Hijikata, who remained embracing her from behind. However, the sounds that came out of her mouth betrayed her.

"Toshizou-sa…n—nn…"

Lured by Chizuru's voice, Hijikata reached for her left hand, which seized the futon tightly, and grasped it firmly into his. He could hear his heart beat more and more loudly in his ears and his breathing come out in harsher pants; it was as if telling him he had reached his limit, and Hijikata crushed the lithe body of the woman closer to him. He felt her heart beat fast and loud just like his, and the way her body trembled bit by bit every time he thrust into her, told him she was reaching her limit, too.

"Chizuru. I love you," Hijikata whispered between heavy pants after he bit her earlobe, and it made his lips curl into a small smile, feeling the way Chizuru's body react knowingly against him.

"…ahnn…Plea…se—"

The way she swayed her head and begged for him never ceased to make Hijikata desire more of her and increase the hunger in his heart. He tightened his hold around her, automatically drawing her body closer once again.

"You can come," Hijikata prompted, his voice rasping out gently in harsh breaths. "Come for me, Chizuru."

"N…No…t-to—gether," Chizuru heaved out, choking between words. "I—I…want to come with…you…"

Chizuru shook her head side to side vehemently, as the latter part of her words came out in sweet, hot pants and it desirously melted the insides of Hijikata. He took her words as a sign and resumed thrusting deeper and faster into her, slamming their bodies impetuously as he quietly let himself reach for his climax.

"…ah—no…I-I'm coming—" Chizuru heard her own voice say in a small squeak, but she was not exactly sure if it was really hers anymore. All she could feel were Hijikata's strong arms holding her tight, his body grazing against her own, and the way he moved deep inside of her. She intuited that this moment would come to an end soon, so she held Hijikata's hand, intertwining their fingers, and clung onto it.

Hijikata slowly felt this act of love, which could resemble domination and possessiveness, would have to end soon, so as if to give Chizuru relief and finally free her from the tantalizing moment, he called out her name and signaled for their sweet release.

"Come with me, Chizuru…."

At the same time the words left his lips, the same moment Chizuru cried out, screaming the sweetest music to his ears, sending shivers all over his body and inviting his climax, and had him releasing inside of her, her hot walls clamping tight around him. Chizuru's body arched as much as it could, elegantly curving behind, and Hijikata held her closer—the closest he could get. And together, they drowned into the depths of tempestuous pleasure.

＊＊＊＊＊

With their kimonos disheveled, Hijikata held Chizuru in his arms, this time face to face, and entwined his long legs with hers as if the persistence heat of their endeavors a moment ago was not enough. On the other hand, Chizuru felt peculiarly comfortable tiredness from the intimacy just moments ago and pressed her body closer to the man who held her. She rubbed her face against his chest and slowly inhaled his scent.

Hijikata brought his hand to Chizuru's head and let his fingers gently comb her messy and slightly sweaty hair. He gazed into her smiling eyes, which wavered as if searching clearly for his own orbs. Though once she returned his gaze, through blurred vision, it seemed like Chizuru finally gave in to sleep, for she softly closed her eyes, losing herself in her dreams. Hijikata watched as, once again, his wife's eyelids shut quietly. She was a woman of long eyelashes, he thought as he dearly and tenderly held her carefully in his arms, following her in a sweet slumber.

＊＊＊＊＊

Chizuru belonged to him and only him. Hijikata need not remind the fact to both of them every time.

He would be the only one she will drown into—the only one to give her the utmost pleasure, to see her breathtakingly beautiful form whenever they made love…only him. What they do, no matter when—every night and every day and every time—were a vestige of their love and he made it certain Chizuru remembered every piece of him. But most of all Hijikata made sure to keep every memory of her behind the depths of his eyes and deep into his mind and soul.

Chizuru belonged to him and Hijikata belonged to her. That was how they love and that was how it will always be.