Disclaimer: Ouran doesn't and will never belong to me, it belongs to Bisco Hatori who is the genius who came up with the Host Club. I am only its fan fiction writer

Warning: Implied feelings, OOCness, and some spoilers (more like references) to the anime.

I never really thought about it. My relationship with Kaoru that is. It just never occured to me that things might be different if we weren't as close as we were. Or that we might get hurt if either one of us left. Maybe it's because I didn't want to think that. To me Kaoru was all I knew. To me Kaoru was my everything.

It all started when Milord had almost been taken away from us. But he came back. Came back because of Haruhi.

Haruhi is amazing. She just is. Being able to care for others, shedding light on lies, and making me realize Kaoru is different from me. Different in a good way. I admired Haruhi for that gift of knowledge. It showed everyone we weren't the same person. At first I was just stunned. Kaoru was too but he was watching my reaction. I knew he was watching me but I didn't say anything. I have mixed feelings about it now. Was I supposed to feel good or bad about it? I think it's pointless to overthink things. I still can't get that incident out of my head.

Anyway Haruhi had just rescued Milord and as they were dancing, I noticed something. I wasn't jealous. True, I only teased Haruhi because it was fun, especially when the boss blew a gasket over the playful teasing Kaoru and I were commited to. That's the other thing. Kaoru was different. Different in the fact that it was more then just teasing.

Watching them, the maiden and the prince, dancing together, the scene was just too serene. But I noticed from the corner of my eye, Kaoru looked so sad and dejected. And when I asked him what was wrong, he only gave me that fake sugary smile and said he was all right. But it didn't feel right to me. We'd promised we wouldn't lie to each other. But before I could press on, Haruhi danced our way. In that instant I saw Kaoru's somber expression transform into life as he smiled and laughed at the sight of Haruhi twirling with Hunny-senpai.

Shocked, I felt something ache deep down inside. I groaned. Surely I hadn't just been repressing unrequited feelings for Haruhi now? And yet I looked ahead of me to see her dancing with Kaoru and it was painful. Kaoru saw me staring and twirled over with Haruhi in tow. Understanding his motive, I shared a dance with Haruhi despite the sling on my sprained arm. Yet, as soon as I took her hand, it didn't feel like anything more then platonic feelings one has for good friends. So then I made the excuse of my arm hurting too much so I could find Kaoru-I mean rethink things.

I spent several minutes trying to think but all my mind could do was replay fond memories of the times Kaoru and I were together. And the sad ones of being separated like the supposed date with Haruhi. the memories were bittersweet as it was fun messing with everyone but then Kaoru go hurt and it wasn't fun and games anymore. Nothing is worth friends, especially Kaoru getting hurt.

I finally found him standing with the others-Mori-senpai, Honey-senpai, and Kyouya-senpai-and when I took my place next to him, the dull ache faded a bit. I'd just turned to ask Kaoru why he ran off when the clock tower struck 12 and the fireworks went off. And over the clock bells and the fireworks I could see Kaoru mouthing words. Something about a carrige and the rotten pumpkin.

While everyone else watched the fireworks display, I watched Kaoru. For perhaps the first time I saw just how alive he looked. That wise and melancholy expression that graced those beautiful features, the light of the exploding fireworks lighting his face in different hues each second, and how in the midst of the crowd he was the only color in a black and white world. That look in his eyes...I don't think I've ever seen anything like it. Something so undescribable and so mysteriously wonderful that even now words don't do it the justice it deserves.

The trance broke however when Kaoru caught sight of me and greeted me with an actual smile. I felt that dull ache return but I ignored it as I made my way to Kaoru's side and took his hand with my uninjured one. I just wanted to savor that moment, knowing Kaoru may have been different but it wasn't such a bad thing.

When Haruhi came over and Kaoru's eyes brightened as his grip on my hand fell slack, the dull ache surfaced. I watched as Haruhi talked so sweetly with the boss while girls swooned over the scene and Kaoru leaned in to hear her words. He smiled and giggled at how with just one sentence the boss was sent back into his corner and Haruhi tried dragging him out of it.

"Hikaru? You all right?"

I blinked my eyes and saw Kaoru staring at me worriedly. At least he wasn't looking at her. I answered that I was ok but he gave me a look of disbelief. I then gave him the excuse of having a headache and how my arm still felt sore. His face twisted into concern once again and almost went to look for Kyouya when I stopped him and said it wasn't that bad as long as he stayed by my side.

A crowd of fans turned and surrounded us as Kaoru clutched my suit jacket and pleaded with me with a pink face to be less embarrassing at a party. I merely smirked and with my good hand tilted Kaoru's face so close to my own that our heated breath mixed. My heart sped just a bit faster but I concentrated on delivering my line on if Kaoru didn't forget how much he enjoyed being my private nurse. Our audience erupted into screams of joy and I would've rolled my eyes had Kaoru not just snuggled his face into my chest. I blushed and felt awkward while the girls just ate it up. Soon they were distracted, thank god, by the sight of Haruhi offering the moping boss appetizers. He then glomped her for being so cute and offering snacks while the girls just squealed silently. I let out a snicker and Kaoru looked over and gave a gentle smile before laughing as well.

We enjoyed ourselves the rest of the night, teasing the lovely couple, playing tricks on unsuspecting partyers, and of course just being the infamous Hitachiin twins.

We arrived home exhausted that night and Kaoru threw himself on his side of the gigantic bed right after changing and brushing his teeth. I must've had a fond expression on my face as I sat on the edge of the bed and watch Kaoru's breathing deepen. When sleep called me I crawled underneath the covers and was startled when Kaoru embraced me in his sleep. His hair stroked lightly against my skin while his warm breath tickled my neck. I felt just like I did earlier, flustered and for no reason.

Kaoru let out a contented murmur and I relaxed. Letting myself be taken by sleep I wrapped my arms around Kaoru and listened to the synchronized beating of our hearts as I drifted into sleep.

I never saw it coming. Never in a million years. I never knew the seeds of change had been planted in my heart. Maybe they'd always been there, just waiting for the right moment to begin sprouting, the moment when something inside of me had changed. Perhaps, it had always been there. Suppressed by my subconscious as well as what I knew was right.

All I knew was that a dangerous seed had been planted and was ready to grow. Had I been aware-more like Kaoru-I could've caught myself. Rid myself of the seed before it could turn into a weed.

I never saw it coming and that's how my downfall came so easily.

NEW FIC! I've been meaning to publish this for awhile and so I grew impatient. Not beta'd although that would've been nice. Let me know if there are any mistakes as Ive said before it's been thought over in my head for a LONG time.