Disclaimer: If J.K. Rowling were two silly, idiotic teenagers, with nothing else to do, then we're definitely her!
Chapter 1
Fish Heads and Pork Bladders
Ron stumbled up the stairs to the boy's dormitory cursing Filch fluently under his breath. He took no notice of his surroundings; his mind was still reeling from the events of the past four hours. He had been in detention with the above-mentioned Filch who, probably under Snape's orders, had made Ron disembowel a barrel full of flobberworms that were only half-dead. Most unfortunately, Ron had accidentally voiced an unmentionable insult that Filch had obviously misunderstood-or guessed correctly- as being directed at him and had hence "accidentally" tipped over the barrel onto Ron, who had been smothered by the slimy, writhing worms and had only managed to get them off by using the "Wingardium Leviosa" spell which, despite being in seventh year, had taken him three tries to get right. He had gotten up in a daze only to find the ground covered with flobberworms and his first unsteady step had resulted in several worms being crushed under his foot with an oddly sickening "crunch" sound.
"Weird" muttered Ron of the present as he reached the landing. "That something so seemingly squishy should crunch like that"
"Crunch"
"Yeah, exactly like that"
Ron froze. The "crunch" sound was accompanied by the sickening sensation of there being something squishy underfoot.
He counted slowly to three-held up temporarily by the fact that he couldn't remember if one or two came first- and then directed his gaze downwards. He gave a small yelp and leapt away from the dead cat on the floor. It had ginger fur.
"Crookshanks?" Ron spoke that word in a whisper.
The shaggy fur Ron fancied he'd recognized was answer enough for him.
He quickly knelt by the motionless cat and grabbed one of its fore paws hoping against hope that he would be able to feel a pulse.
Fools are always disappointed.
More sensibly, he placed a finger on the cat's neck and tried to find a heart beat but he could still find none.
"C'mon you stupid animal" Ron said getting frustrated. "Wake up!"
Seized by a sudden inspiration, he said, "Breakfast is ready! Fresh fish heads and pork bladder all ready for you"
Still, the cat did not stir. Ron let go of the cat and sagged against a wall, his head in his hands.
His grief was not for the cat but for himself.
"Hermione'll kill me"
He and Hermione had not exactly been going out but since the disastrous episode with Lavender and McLaggen, they had come to an unspoken agreement to NOT date other people.
Killing her cat would undoubtedly break another of those unspoken agreements between them hence rendering all other unspoken agreements null and void. That would mean that she'd be able to date other people.
The thought gave fresh energy to Ron and leaping to his feet he decided that the only way to divert all attention from him would be to destroy all the evidence against him.
In this case, the evidence would be the dead cat.
He quickly grabbed the cat and entered his dormitory looking wildly around for a good place to hide the cat. Finding none, he shoved the cat unceremoniously under his bed.
He would worry about disposing of it permanently the next day.
-Hyperactive Snails (freexrule and gnomedeplum, with the former doing all the work while the latter sat around and blowed bubbles)