"What do you actually want to tell me, to be precise?" Wilson asked Foreman, who was grinning crazily at Chase. Shrugging, Cameron stared at Cuddy, who raised her eyebrows at the maniacs.

"What's not in its rightful place?" Chase's Australian twang sounded through the deserted office. James fought the urge to bang his head against the whiteboard and resorted to groaning. The pair had been so bloody cryptic all day. The doctor stared around the room. If they had messed with anything, House would go insane.

"I don't know... a coffee cup? A whiteboard pen?" Cameron spread her palms wide and gestured to the cupboards.

"Nooo..." Foreman said in a singsong voice and nudged Chase. He giggled.

"Look, just tell us. I have a meeting to be..."

"No you don't, Lisa." Chase cut her off. "And you all know what it is that missing. From this hospital. This very room. This office. Right here." He patted the sofa meaningfully. Wilson rolled his eyes.

"House."

Foreman clapped happily and smiled.

"Well Done. Twenty points! As you all know, it's House's day off today. And work has been slow. I've been surfing the web most of the time, actually."

"But what has that got to do with us?" Cameron asked.

"Well... I researched that it takes precisely two weeks to make someone fall in love with you. So Chase and I came up with a plan. Today is the 1st of February, right? All three of you have two weeks to make House fall head over heels with you. And don't pretend you don't fancy him. We can all see it on all of you."

"I've lost. House isn't gay." Wilson sighed, folding his arms.

"How do you know that? He hasn't had a girl since Stacy." Everyone nodded. They were right. House hadn't had a girl.

"So we're competing for House's love? What if he finds out?" Cuddy considered.

"That's part of the game. You must flirt with House and give him one gift per day without him knowing. On Valentine's Day, House will crack and confess. No sabotage." Foreman added. Wilson looked at Cuddy and Cameron. He smiled.

"You're on."

Hey! This is my first House story. Sorry now if anyone's OOC. I think Foreman is. I thought this might be fun to write. Lots of ships though. Should I list them or not? I'm not sure if you can fall in love in two weeks. Hopefully this will be funny when House drifts forward from the mist of my imagination. Until then,

AOR