Based on Matchbox Twenty's song "Overjoyed."
She wonders about them sometimes.
It's not that there's anything wrong with them. In fact, sometimes things seem too perfect.
Brittany thought that's just how Santana is. Santana is perfect. Brittany has always thought so, ever since she first saw Santana.
Now she's starting to realize that maybe Santana is too perfect. People aren't supposed to be like that.
And okay, maybe Santana isn't perfect all the time, but Santana is perfect to her. Like, Santana is sarcastic and kind of mean to Rachel, but she's never like that to Brittany. She never yells or is mean or condescending. She smiles at Brittany like she's the best thing she's ever seen and she knows things about Brittany and doesn't forget them. Like her coffee order or that she kind of has a thing for armpits.
(Brittany thinks there is something vulnerable about armpits and that kind of turns her on.)
It's just – they don't fight, like ever. She knows that people don't usually complain about that, but she just thinks it's weird.
And another thing that's just weird is that Santana doesn't talk about her family. They've been dating for four months and all she knows about Santana's family is that they live in some small Ohio town and that Santana doesn't see them much.
These are the things she thinks about when they sit together in Santana's apartment, books spread over Santana's bed, limbs spread over each other.
"Britt." Santana taps her arm and her eyes focus on the face blurring in front of her. "You disappeared there for a second."
Brittany smiles, uncrosses her legs, and flops on her stomach next to Santana. "Sorry. This is just so boring."
She's supposed to be reading a chapter for one of her elective classes, but like she said, it's just so boring. She'd much rather think about Santana instead.
Next to her, Santana smirks and slaps her butt lightly. "We've only been doing homework for fifteen minutes."
Brittany groans and looks at Santana. She pauses for a moment, taking in the way Santana's hair falls in gentle waves past her shoulders and how her eyes soften as they look at her. Brittany feels her heart flutter and a pool of gold fill her chest, warm and comfortable.
"Study break?" She suggests hopefully.
"You take one, but I," Santana says and shakes her head in amusement. "I have to study."
Brittany blows out a puff of air. "Fine," she all but whines. She rests her head on Santana's pillow, inhaling as much of Santana as she can. It's a smell she's become familiar with these past four months, as she's spent most of it studying at Santana's, eating at Santana's, and sometimes sleeping at Santana's.
The only time in those months that she didn't really see Santana is when she went home for three weeks at Christmas break. Otherwise Santana has been all hers.
Sometimes she thinks back to those days in the library during her first semester when she would sit next to Santana and silently wish and hope and dream that Santana would like her back. She feels so silly now. Santana reminds Brittany of her cat Lord Tubbington a lot, but mostly because when LT sits on her lap, he purrs really heavily and she can just feel his love. Santana is like that too. She looks at her, and Brittany just knows that Santana feels really big feelings for her.
She feels really big feelings for Santana, too.
They haven't said those three big words, yet. Those ones that Brittany feels resonating in her bones when Santana's lips hover over hers, as if she's tasting the air between them, tasting the words before they're said. She feels them so huge that she thinks sometimes her blood has stopped carrying just oxygen to her heart, but brings with it everything Santana until her heart pumps a syncopated beat to the syllables of Santana's name.
Brittany never loses the beat.
She must have drifted off thinking about Santana, because the room is darker when she wakes up. The light spilling on Santana's floor has become unnatural and she knows Santana must have turned on her bedside lamp.
She blinks slowly and feels gentle fingers on her back and Santana's nose in her hair. She hums happily and rolls over so that she's nose to nose with Santana. Santana's smile feels like summer amid the cold winter frost covering the windows.
"Hey," she says.
"Hey sleepy," Santana says back.
Brittany makes a noise halfway between a groan and a laugh. Her fingers come up to play with Santana's long hair. "What time is it?"
Santana shrugs. "Dinnertime." She crinkles her nose thoughtfully. "The gnome texted you a few times, wondering about dinner, but then she decided to go to Megamouth's. I wouldn't have looked, but it kept buzzing because it obviously took her eight messages to say that." Santana shrugs and Brittany nods.
"Of course it did."
"Yeah," Santana says. "So I was trying to think about what we should eat, but I didn't know if you wanted to cook or order something."
Brittany loves this. They always eat together, but she loves how Santana just assumes that they will. Because really, Brittany hates the dorm food and even if she didn't, she likes when Santana cooks for her. If Santana wasn't going to be an architect, Santana definitely should be a famous chef.
(Brittany thinks it'd be totally awesome if Santana had her own cooking show on the Food Network. Santana is way hotter than Rachel Ray.)
"Let's make something," Brittany suggests because they've had Chinese and Chipotle a lot lately and like she said, she just loves when Santana cooks.
"Okay," Santana says.
Santana stares at her for a beat longer than necessary until Brittany says "what" and Santana just shakes her head and leans down to kiss her really slowly.
Brittany sighs into the kiss, her grip on the ends of Santana's hair going slack. After a few minutes, she feels Santana's strong arms start to tremble from holding her up so she flips them over. As she settles on top of Santana, she feels hands crawl under her shirt and come to rest on her stomach. Brittany shivers with goose bumps even as warmth rushes from her ears to her toes.
When she spends a lot of time with Santana, sometimes Rachel will try to get Brittany to explain just why she likes her girlfriend so much. Rachel doesn't get how she could like someone who is so private. But for all that Santana keeps to herself, there are things Brittany feels she's included in. Like she's pretty sure Santana doesn't tell people about the moments that they spend together, even Quinn. She thinks these moments are just for her, and Brittany loves that. It's like a secret that nobody would understand but them.
She can't bring herself to tell Rachel how Santana loves when Brittany's laying on top of her because Santana feels like she's in a little cocoon. Brittany gets that Santana has trouble with vulnerability, so she tries to give Santana that cocoon feeling all the time.
She can't tell Rachel how gentle Santana can be when they're having sex. How every time Santana shakes and moans because of her, she feels like Santana is breaking a little. Her eyes squeeze shut and her fingers grip Brittany so tightly she'll have gumdrop bruises the next day. She feels like having sex with Santana is a lot like fixing Santana because even though she breaks, Brittany cradles her so she won't shatter.
How could she tell Rachel or anyone any of this? It's between her and Santana, and she'd rather Rachel think she was stupid than betray Santana's vulnerability when they're together.
Santana tells her more things without words than she does with words anyway. Brittany guesses that Rachel who is scarily verbose just wouldn't understand that at all, but she gets it. She's a very good listener, especially when it comes to Santana.
Brittany carefully pulls her lips back from Santana's and sits there with her eyes closed for a second, taking in Santana's shallow breathing and heavy pulse. She feels a finger run between her eyebrows until it bops her on the nose and she opens her eyes.
"What are you doing?" Santana smiles at her and Brittany feels a sensory overload flood throughout her body because Santana is just so dang pretty.
"Listening," Brittany says, and Santana closes her eyes for a moment. When she opens them, she looks at Brittany intensely.
It's these moments that Brittany can't tell Rachel about. Santana doesn't ask what she's listening to and she's pretty sure Santana just gets it.
"Santana," she says quietly.
Santana's fingers scratch lightly at the skin beneath Brittany's shirt. "Hmmm?"
"Tell me a secret."
Santana twists her mouth in thought. "What kind of secret, Britt-Britt?"
Brittany shrugs and pecks Santana lightly on the lips. "Any kind of secret."
Santana thinks for a moment and then the ghost of a smile tugs at her lips. "When I was little, I wanted to be a ballerina when I grew up."
Brittany smirks. "Yeah? Me too."
Santana laughs. "I was a cheerleader, you know."
"I know," Brittany says. "So was I."
"You tell me a secret now," Santana says and Brittany feels Santana's fingers tuck into the waist band of her shorts playfully. Her stomach growls and they both laugh.
Brittany thinks for a second. "Okay, you want to know a secret?" Santana nods. "I'm super hungry and craving your grilled cheese."
Santana rolls her eyes and pinches her sides. She laughs and rolls off of Santana. "According to your grumbly tummy, that's not a secret," Santana chuckles.
Brittany smiles and shrugs.
"Fine. Let's go make you some grilled cheese." Santana climbs off of her bed and holds her hands out to her. She grabs them and Santana pulls her in for a playful kiss.
Yeah. How could she tell anyone about these moments? They are too perfect to be shared.
Brittany spends all of dinner thinking of secrets to tell Santana that nobody else knows.
So they're roommates and since both of their significant others are in Sweet Lady Kisses, they spend a lot of time together. But that doesn't mean that they like each other. Or, at least, Brittany doesn't like Rachel very much.
Somehow, Rachel doesn't seem to get that.
"I'll find us a table," Rachel says when they get to Sweet Lady Kisses' weekly gig at the bar. Brittany's come to really like Schuester's. The bartender, Holly, always gives her drinks even though she's underage because she knows she's with Santana. She gets a few beers and makes her way through the crowd to a table pretty close to the stage that Rachel is sitting at.
"Brittany, you know I can't drink that foul liquid," Rachel says when she sits down. "But I really appreciate your thoughtfulness."
Like she said, Rachel doesn't seem to get that Brittany doesn't like her very much because she does this every week. She gets two beers and Rachel snaps that she doesn't like beer and you'd think Rachel could figure out that Brittany's not stupid enough to keep getting her beer every week, but apparently not.
Brittany rolls her eyes. "Sorry," she says sarcastically, but Rachel just pats her on the hand condescendingly. Brittany's dislike for her roommate grows.
"Like I said, it was a nice thought."
Brittany sips at one of the drinks in front of her until the person who the second beer is actually meant for slides in next to her at their booth.
"Oh, you got me one? Thank God, this day has been the absolute worst." Quinn takes a large gulp of her beer that impresses even Brittany. "Thanks Britt. I owe you one."
Unlike with Rachel, she became friends with Quinn pretty quickly. She spends a lot of time at Santana's place and at first, she thought Quinn might be kind of annoyed by that because she hears Santana and Quinn snapping at each other a lot. The first couple of times Quinn walked into the kitchen to find her there with Santana, she gave her a pretty icy look.
But then Brittany pitched in for groceries a few times and Quinn loosened up. She's come to realize that Quinn is just super protective of Santana and she only yells at Santana a lot because it's her way of making sure Santana hears that she cares.
Brittany's not really sure why Quinn doesn't just say that she cares, but sometimes she guesses Santana won't hear it unless Quinn yells. Both Santana and Quinn don't like big feelings, she thinks as she hears them screaming at each other and she hides in Santana's bedroom, pretending to do homework.
That's why Brittany prefers to listen. Then she hears their big feelings without having to be yelled at.
Maybe that's why she and Santana don't ever fight. Maybe Santana just needs someone who can hear her say things without her having to actually say them.
Brittany is a firm believer that feelings make sex better.
She had sex with a good number of guys in high school, but it was usually just for fun. Brittany likes sex a lot. She likes when her skin is touching someone else's skin and the different sounds people make when they can't hold back. She likes the moment when she isn't in control just as she reaches orgasm and she really likes the moment afterward when she's trying to catch her breath and everything feels hazy.
Yeah Brittany likes all of those things. A lot.
But somehow they can't compare to the way she feels when her and Santana have sex. She can't place her finger on it, really. Santana is virtually the same as all of the other people she's had sex with, but at the same time, Santana is so different than all of them too.
The only thing different about it is that she feels big things for Santana and she's certain Santana feels big things for her too.
Brittany really does believe that it changes everything.
She almost can't stand it, if she's being honest. She can't stand the softness of Santana's skin when Brittany settles on top of her, stomach to stomach. She can't stand the smell of Santana as she buries her face in Santana's neck. She can't stand the slickness between her fingers when she enters Santana.
Most of all, she can't stand the way Santana's voice gets crackly like lightning as she climaxes.
"Britt," Santana croaks and Brittany can't stand it. It drives her insane.
"Santana," Brittany whispers back because in that moment it's the only thing filling her mind.
Santana gasps. "Oh my God." And Brittany knows it's over. She kisses Santana below her ear really gently and Santana trembles and then freezes and Brittany feels her breaking like a rose cut from its stem. She breathes in Santana's ear so Santana feels her really strongly and knows that Brittany won't let her shatter completely.
Santana settles. She gasps for breath and Brittany listens intently. Eventually, their chests move together, in and out, and she presses as tightly as possible against Santana. Brittany lives for this moment.
"Santana," she says after a minute.
"Hmmm," Santana hums, eyes half closed and fingers still clutching Brittany's arms.
"Tell me a secret?"
It's kind of become a thing that they do. Anytime they find themselves alone, they trade secrets. Sometimes they're silly and funny, but sometimes they're serious. Brittany has learned that Santana used to have a tomboy haircut in sixth grade. In exchange, she told Santana about the time she went to the principal's office in high school for claiming that every Tuesday she'd show up to school topless if they elected her senior class president.
Santana reluctantly told her that she gave her first blow job at age fourteen to a junior guy she didn't know at her first ever high school party. Brittany recounted the time she thought she was pregnant because a stork built its nest in the tree outside of her window. Santana laughed really hard when she murmured how she thought it was getting ready to drop off her baby.
So it's kind of become a thing. They tell each other secrets.
"A secret?" Santana focuses her eyes on Brittany more fully. "Give me a second to think of one."
Brittany waits patiently, watching as Santana stares at her and crinkles her nose cutely. "I'm addicted to breadsticks," Santana whispers after a moment.
Brittany feels a smile tug at her lips. "What?"
"Yeah," Santana nods seriously. "There's this Italian place, it's called Breadstix, and they have the best breadsticks there."
Brittany snorts. "Really."
"Really."
"If you're so addicted, why didn't I know about this before?"
Santana rolls her eyes. "It's embarrassing, Britt. Don't make light of my addiction."
"Santana," Brittany giggles.
"They have this policy there, B, where they legally have to keep bringing you breadsticks. Once I went there and I got them to fill a whole wheelbarrow full of them. I had hundreds of them." Santana looks at her seriously. "That's when Quinn decided I needed to be cut off. She went to Breadstix and paid the manager to ban me."
Brittany stares at her girlfriend. "I can't tell if you're joking or not."
"I swear to you, babe, I'm being completely serious." Santana closes her eyes and moans. "Ugh I'm dying just thinking about them right now. God they're so soft and garlicky and…" Santana trails off and Brittany can't do anything but raise her eyebrows in wonder.
"You're the cutest," she says after a second.
Santana's eyes fly open. "I am not cute. This is serious shit, B. You don't understand the power of the breadsticks."
"It's just bread, Santana."
"It is not just bread," Santana hisses. "One day, I'm going to exact my revenge on, Quinn. I will cut that bitch. And then I'm going to storm into Breadstix with my wheelbarrow and fucking demand – "
"I could just sneak some out for you, you know. "
Santana pauses in the middle of her rant. "What?"
"All you had to do was ask." Brittany shrugs and Santana sits up on her elbows, her face coming closer to Brittany's.
"Are you serious?"
Brittany nods. "Sure, why not?"
Santana narrows her eyes. "This better not be a joke."
Brittany pouts. "Don't you trust me?"
"Of course I do!" Santana flops back down on her pillow with a sigh. "I just… I don't fuck around when it comes to my sticks."
Brittany lets out a giggle. "Okay."
"Okay?"
"Okay," Brittany says and brings her lips down to Santana's again.
"Your turn," Santana says in between kisses.
Brittany wrinkles her nose. "Okay, you want to know my secret?"
"Duh," Santana replies.
"I think you're, like, the awesomest. Even if you have a weird breadstick problem."
"It's not a problem," Santana says indignantly.
"Santana," Brittany says.
"Okay, sorry." Santana gives her that smile that crinkles her eyes and makes her have those cute little dimples. The one that makes Brittany feel like she's coiling tighter and tighter inside. Like those big feelings are bubbling so close to the surface that Brittany feels like she's on fire.
"That's not a secret, Britt."
"Yes huh."
"That doesn't count."
"It does too."
"No," Santana says and flips them over so she's on top. "That's about as secret as what we're doing right now."
Brittany stares up at Santana, confused. "What?"
"I mean, I'm going to make you scream so loud that the neighbors will know exactly what we're doing here."
Brittany feels her eyes widen and her heart skip a beat as Santana smirks down at her.
She can't help but wonder how Santana got so perfect.
Sometimes Brittany doesn't understand their friendship. Like, she's never seen two people simultaneously love and hate each other so much.
"I'm not fucking doing it, Quinn!"
"Don't pull this shit with me, Santana!"
"It's not your life, it's mine, and if you think I'm going to fucking put up with them…"
"Oh grow up! You've been through nothing."
"Do not try to make me feel sorry for you. Your choices, your consequences. You have nobody to blame but yourself."
Brittany sighs and closes her eyes. She tries to do homework when this happens, she really does, but it's hard enough to focus when people aren't screaming at each other.
"I never said it wasn't my fault. I'm just saying you're an ungrateful bitch who can't see the good things she has right in front of her!"
"Oh seriously, Quinn. Fuck off!"
She doesn't really know what they're fighting about, but it's always like that. Quinn and Santana fight, but they never really acknowledge what they're fighting about. Brittany honestly doesn't get it.
She hears a door slam and guesses one of them stormed out of the house. Seconds later, Santana swings her bedroom door open angrily, steps into the room, and lets the door fly shut with a loud bang. Brittany jumps a little from her place on Santana's bed.
It's become a familiar sight, but Brittany still finds it shocking to watch as Santana paces the floor of her bedroom, speaking frantic Spanish.
She waits it out like she always does and a few minutes later Santana finishes her rant with a quiet grumble and flops down on the bed next to Brittany.
"Quinn's on the rag," Santana mutters after a minute of silence.
Brittany doesn't respond.
"She went to Chang's."
"Okay," Brittany says. She threads her fingers with Santana's. She doesn't know what her and Quinn were fighting about, but she hopes that her presence lets Santana know that it's okay and that she doesn't have to talk about it if she doesn't want to.
Santana looks at her, her eyes flickering back and forth between Brittany's. Her mouth twists in thought. Finally she sighs. "What are you doing for Spring Break, Britt-Britt?"
Brittany shrugs. "Going home, I guess."
"Hmmm." Santana looks away for a moment and Brittany feels her body squirm around anxiously.
"Why?" Brittany drawls.
Santana looks back at her. "I just… I mean, you don't have to… like, you probably don't even want to… but I was wondering if you wanted to, you know, maybe come home with me for a few days."
Brittany thinks something inside her might have burst open. Santana is just so freaking cute.
"Like to where your parents live?"
Santana nods. "But like seriously you don't have to. I mean I know you probably miss your family and your sister and stuff."
Brittany represses a smile. "I mean, I'm kind of sick of you."
Santana wrinkles her nose and then nudges Brittany with her shoulder. "Shut up."
Brittany giggles. "Okay."
"Okay?"
"I'd love to come home with you for a few days."
Santana raises her eyebrows disbelievingly. "You would?"
"Sure." Brittany smiles and squeezes Santana's hand. "Is that what you and Quinn were fighting about?"
"Yes. No." Santana sighs. "Kind of."
Brittany waits patiently and Santana lets go of her hand and rolls over on her back. Her head turns to look at Brittany and she thinks Santana looks so pretty in that moment. Her whole body aches with big feelings.
"My parents are…" Santana pauses while she tries to think of a word. "Frustrating."
"Frustrating…" Brittany stares at Santana, taking in her dark eyes and wondering if this new information will help her understand Santana better at all.
"About me liking girls," Santana clarifies.
"Oh."
"They're not unsupportive, I guess. But they're not really supportive either." Santana looks up at the ceiling and Brittany watches as her fists clench together on her stomach. "I came out in high school and I'm not saying they took it horribly, but they didn't take it great. Which, I mean, I can't really blame them because most parents don't really take it great but…"
Brittany breathes quietly, waiting.
"Sometimes they just don't really acknowledge it. My mom's better than my dad, but it causes conflict. They wish I wasn't gay, you know?"
Brittany nods even though her parents were excited when she told them about Santana. Her parents have always told her that they just want Brittany to be happy and to do her best at life and that's all that matters to them.
"I know that so many people have it worse than I do, but sometimes it's just frustrating. That's what Quinn was mad about."
Brittany feels her insides twist with sympathy. "Just because people have it worse than you doesn't mean you aren't allowed to have feelings about it."
Santana shrugs and Brittany rolls on her side and throws her arm around Santana's stomach. She feels Santana exhale and her whole body settles, leaning into Brittany's. She likes when Santana cuddles her, but there's something amazing about when Santana lets Brittany hold her instead. Like Santana is softening and allowing herself to feel those big feelings that Brittany knows they both feel. Those feelings settle over them like a foggy January morning and she wishes they could stay like this forever.
After a second, Santana snorts to herself. "God, Quinn is such a bitch."
Brittany giggles. "I like her."
"Well, yeah." Santana rolls her eyes. "You like everyone, babe."
"Maybe." She smiles slightly. "Sometimes, I don't like Rachel."
Santana barks out a laugh. "The fact that sometimes you do like her is a miracle in itself."
Brittany shakes her head and leans forward to kiss Santana's shoulder. Santana hums happily and pecks Brittany on the lips.
"Tell me a secret, Britt-Britt."
Brittany smiles wryly. "I hope your mom will show me your baby pictures when we visit."
Santana's eyes widen comically. "That's not a secret! That doesn't count!"
"Does too!"
"Does not!"
Brittany sticks her tongue out and hops off the bed. Santana follows and they chase each other around Santana's room until they both collapse on the floor, giggling uncontrollably.
Over Spring Break, Brittany's parents decide to visit her grandparents and her sister goes on a cruise with some of her friends so it all works out for Brittany to go home with Santana.
The night before she leaves, she stands in her tiny dorm room in front of her even tinier closet and tries to decide what she should pack. Brittany believes first impressions are really important and she has never wanted to make a good one so badly.
She hums along quietly to the music that Rachel is playing as she throws a pair of jeans into her duffle bag (it's Demi Lovato and she thinks that sometimes Rachel has good music taste). She smiles slightly to herself as Rachel matches the powerful high note. Normally, people would be knocking on their door complaining about Rachel singing so loudly, but they've been on break for a day already and the dorms are as deserted as a ghost town.
Brittany thinks about how Santana said they would only be going for a few days ("I can't hole up in that house for the whole break, Britt, trust me. Just pack light."), and wonders if four pairs of shoes is too many. She shrugs and decides it's fine. As an afterthought, she throws one of her beanies in her duffle too. Brittany thinks you can never have too many hats.
"Brittany," Rachel says and she looks up to see her roommate standing in front of her with her hands on her hips. "Have you seen my sweater?"
Brittany scrunches her eyebrows in confusion because Rachel has like, fifty sweaters. "Which one?"
"The maroon one. With the horses on the front."
"I think the sweater elves used it as a blanket last night. They got cold," Brittany says seriously because she loves to watch Rachel genuinely try to figure out what she means when she's kidding around sometimes. She thinks Rachel takes things too seriously.
Rachel pauses on the spot. "Sweater elves?"
"Yes, they're bigger than a Keebler elf but definitely smaller than a North Pole elf." Brittany represses a laugh as Rachel rolls her eyes. "They live in closets because they have a special liking for knitted clothes."
Rachel sighs and turns on her heel to continue looking for her sweater. "Never mind. I honestly don't understand you sometimes, Britt."
Brittany shrugs and makes a note to recount the conversation to Santana later because she knows her grilfriend will appreciate the fact that Rachel lost her animal sweater. Rachel's sweaters are Santana's favorite thing to make fun of.
Well, Brittany thinks, they're pretty ugly sweaters.
"Rachel," she says.
"What," comes the muffled reply before Rachel sticks her head out from under her bed where she's looking for her sweater. Brittany thinks this is ridiculous. Rachel doesn't have things under her bed. She's way too tidy for that. "Did you find it?"
"No…"
"Oh." Rachel's shoulders droop in disappointment.
"Why do you wear those sweaters?" Brittany is legitimately confused. The world is full of so many cute clothes and Rachel chooses those?
Rachel looks perplexed for a moment before she straightens up, suddenly defensive. "I like them. The material is very comfortable and durable which makes them outlast many of my other clothing options."
"Yeah, but they have like, animals on them." She's not being mean. She just knows Rachel won't listen if Brittany is gentle with her.
In a rare turn of events, Rachel seems to have lost the ability to come up with a reasonable argument so Brittany continues.
"I mean, in high school I was somewhat of a fashion icon. I could help you pick out some outfits that would make you look cute. You'd still look a little trollish, but like, you'd be a totally cute troll."
Rachel isn't even offended, she just looks skeptical. "My dads bought those sweaters for me."
Brittany shrugs. "Probably to hide your smoking body from boys. Dads really like to do that and you have two dads, so like, twice the hiding."
Rachel glances down at herself before meeting Brittany's eyes. She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear cutely. "You'd want to help me?"
"Sure. Why not?"
Rachel looks away uncertainly. "I didn't get the impression that we were best friends or anything."
Brittany widens her eyes in surprise. Maybe Rachel wasn't as oblivious to Brittany's subtle dislike of her as she thought. "Well maybe not best friends," she says. Rachel's eyes fall to floor, but Brittany continues. "We are roommates though and it'd just be cruel if I didn't help you."
Brittany stands back in front of her closet, hands running over the fabric of dresses and shirts and skirts. After a moment of careful deliberation, she pulls a simple black dress off of it's hanger.
"Here, try this," she says and hands it to Rachel, who takes it very carefully, like Brittany's messing with her. "It's like, super short on me and your legs are totally awesome. It should fit fine."
Rachel looks at her skeptically again and Brittany rolls her eyes. "Try it on. It's not going to strangle you or anything."
Her roommate glances at her one more time, but she must realize Brittany's being serious because she determinedly pulls off her skirt and her tank top and slips into the dress. Brittany helps her zip it up in the back. They both stare at each other in the mirror.
"See," Brittany chippers. "You're totally hot." She squeezes Rachel's shoulders reassuringly.
"I guess I am," Rachel murmurs.
"You guess? You totally are." Brittany smiles at Rachel and Rachel smiles back. "Never think you can't be confident about the way you look. If you look hot and feel hot, then nobody can tell you that you aren't hot."
"Okay," Rachel says.
"You gotta say it though," Brittany encourages.
"Say what?"
"That you're hot." And Rachel thinks Brittany is the dumb one.
Rachel laughs. "Okay. I'm hot."
Brittany nods. "Yeah you are."
At that moment her phone rings and she leaves Rachel still looking in the mirror while she walks over to her bed where her phone is lit up with a call. She answers when she sees the familiar name on the screen.
"Hello?"
"Hey babe."
Brittany smiles when Santana's voice comes through. It's always extra raspy on the phone. It reminds Brittany of the moment when Santana wakes up in the morning. Birttany loves that moment. She loves Santana's bedhead and the way she grumbles cutely because of the sun shining through the curtains. She loves when Santana burrows further under the covers and throws her arm around Brittany's waist, pulling her closer and tangling their legs together. She loves how Santana says good morning by whispering in her ear.
"Hey," Brittany gushes and Santana chuckles.
"You ready?"
"Yep, I'm all packed."
"Cool, because I'm outside your room."
Brittany skips the two steps to the door and opens it, revealing the best sight ever, which is Santana in sweats and a t-shirt smiling all cute.
"Hey," Brittany gushes again because big feelings are pumping throughout her system and some are spilling out all over the place.
Santana smiles real huge and tiny dimples appear in her cheeks. She leans forward and kisses Brittany really gently on the mouth and Brittany sighs happily because holy crap Santana is just so perfect with her kisses and her dimples and her outfit.
"Hey," Santana says and then they just stare at each other for a second before Santana's eyes slide away and focus on something behind Brittany. Then her jaw drops open.
"Berry?" Santana closes her mouth and then opens it again like a fish out of water. "You look. I mean. What the fuck? Is that you?"
Brittany tilts her head back and starts giggling uncontrollably.
"Hello, Santana. It's a pleasure to see you as well."
"You look hot."
"Ummm, thank you?" Rachel says uncertainly and Brittany spins around.
"Rachel!"
"What?"
"Remember what I said?"
"Oh right. Sorry." Rachel's back snaps to attention like elastic tightening. "I mean. Thank you, Santana, I am aware of how hot I am." She smiles proudly and Brittany nods in approval.
"What did you do to her," Santana whispers.
"I'm training her to be hot and to have confidence," Brittany whispers back.
"I can hear you," Rachel says. "I have exceptional hearing."
"Well then," Santana says. "Well done, Britt. You've managed the impossible."
Brittany takes in the way the dress hugs Rachel's curves and the way her legs seem to grow three inches, her calves tight with muscle. She likes how the straps make Rachel's arms look extra toned and how her boobs look a little fuller and totally awesome in the cups of the dress.
"I know," she says proudly and gives Rachel a smile.
Rachel smiles back slightly and does this cute little shrug that makes Brittany want to laugh. Okay. Maybe they're not best friends, or even friends really, but she has grown a little fond of the girl.
"Well, I've had enough of ogling Berry for one day. Or a lifetime." Santana puts her hands on Brittany's hips. "You ready to go?"
"Yeah," Brittany says nervously. She feels her heart speed up slightly at the thought of meeting Santana's parents. She really wants them to like her.
"Great," Santana picks up Brittany's duffle bag and hoists it over her shoulder like it weighs nothing. Brittany thinks it's the hottest thing ever. "Well, have a good break, Kreacher."
"Santana, be nice," Brittany says. She just got Rachel to be confident.
"What, B, I am."
Brittany stares at Santana and Santana stares back before she sighs. "Fine. Have a good break, Dobby, but that's as nice as I'm going."
"Dobby is a very respectable character," Rachel concedes with a smile at Santana. "I hope your break is enjoyable as well, Santana."
"Thanks. Whatever," Santana says.
"Bye Rachel! Have fun with your dads!" Brittany gives a little wave to her roommate, who steps closer.
"I'm going to hug you now, if that's okay," Rachel says uncertainly.
Brittany nods and wraps her arms around Rachel's tiny frame. "Stay hot!"
Rachel laughs and lets go of her. "Okay, I will."
Brittany turns back to Santana. "Ready?" She holds out her hand and Santana takes it with a smile.
"Let's go."
They spend the two hour drive to Santana's parent's house singing at the top of their lungs. Santana holds her hand over the gear shift and squeezes it every time Brittany makes her laugh really loudly. Brittany watches Santana the whole ride, caught up in their little bubble of time and space and loving every second of it.
It's possibly the best car ride she's ever had.
Santana's parents' house ends up being less like a house and more like a mansion.
"Are your parents world-famous secret spies?" Brittany whispers to Santana as her girlfriend grabs their bags from the trunk of her car.
"Not secret and not spies, but my dad is a famous surgeon," Santana says seriously.
"Wow," Brittany says.
Santana just shrugs and leads them through the garage and into the house. "Hello," she calls out and Brittany swears that the word echoes off of the wooden interior.
"Santana? Mija is that you?"
"Yes, Ma, it's me."
Brittany follows Santana further into the house and to the kitchen where a very tiny woman is wiping her hands off on a towel and smiling in what is clearly excitement.
"Santana!"
The woman rushes forward and embraces Santana and Brittany thinks it's probably the cutest thing she's ever seen because the woman is smaller than Santana which Brittany totally didn't think was possible. She also has the same dimples as Santana and Brittany loves those dimples more than anything.
"Mama," Santana whines and pulls away and Brittany's heart stutters. Santana is so cute. "Mama, this is Brittany."
Suddenly she feels totally shy. Which is weird because she is not a shy person. Like, at all. But she's staring at Santana's mom and Santana's mom is staring at Santana and Santana is staring at her. What even is happening. She should say hi. That's what she's supposed to say. Right?
"Hi," she manages to get out. Then she clears her throat. "It's nice to meet you." She sticks out her hand and Santana's mom shakes it delicately.
"It's very nice to meet you, Brittany."
"Thanks. Same." Brittany's eyes widen. Same? That's rude. "I mean. Nice to meet you too!"
Santana giggles quietly beside her and Brittany feels heat racing up her neck and to her cheeks.
Santana's mom just grins. "I've heard quite a lot about you."
"Really?" Brittany grins.
"Actually, no." Santana's mom laughs and rolls her eyes. "Santana has been pretty tight-lipped about the person who's been taking up all of her time every time I try to call her."
"Mama," Santana whines again. Brittany thinks she might die because… Santana. Cute. Ugh. She totally wants to kiss her. Like now.
"Well," Brittany says shyly. "Santana has told me a lot about you. I hear you make world famous empanadas."
"Did you?" Santana's mom shoots Santana a grin.
"Mama!" Brittany laughs and Santana throws her arms up in the air. "Whatever. I'm going to put our stuff upstairs. Try not to embarrass me anymore than you already have, okay?"
Santana hoists their bags in her arms and stomps out of the kitchen. Brittany watches her go, big feelings fluttering around her rib cage.
"Alright," says Santana's mom, putting an arm around Brittany's shoulders. "Let's have fun with her this weekend, okay? I so rarely get to tease her."
Brittany just laughs and nods, wondering if it's possible to be in love with Santana and Santana's mom at the same time.
So, Brittany learns that Santana's mom likes to be called Maribel which she tries really hard to remember, but she kinda just likes to think of her as Santana's mom.
She also learns that Santana had a "punk" phase and that the first book she ever learned to read was called "Potty Playtime."
As a result of learning these things, she also learns that Santana is the whiniest baby ever when she's being teased and it makes Brittany's head feel light and loopy. She can't get over how cute and perfect Santana is.
Santana's dad comes home just in time for dinner (which is totally delicious, and it's clear to Brittany that Maribel taught her daughter everything she knows about cooking). He has a mustache that ruffles every time he exhales. His name is George, but he wants to be called Mr. Lopez. He's also really short and Brittany thinks they are the cutest family ever.
Brittany discovers that Mr. Lopez is super funny. He makes cheesy jokes that Santana rolls her eyes at a lot and Brittany thinks are hilarious. She also finds out that Maribel has the same sharp tongue as Santana and uses it on Mr. Lopez all throughout dinner.
Brittany is having such a good time observing Santana's family that she barely realizes the shift in conversation when Santana's foot hooks around her leg under the table and everyone is looking at her expectantly.
"What, sorry?" Brittany says.
Mr. Lopez just smiles fondly at her. "I was just wondering if you've met Quinn."
"Oh yeah!" Brittany smiles. "I love Quinn."
Santana snorts.
"Wait, where is Quinn, Santana? Why didn't she come visit us too?" Maribel quirks an eye at Santana, who shrugs.
"She had plans, I guess," Santana replies, making eye contact with her mom.
Marible nods sadly and picks up her fork again. "Well make sure you bring her over the summer."
Santana just shrugs again.
"So, Brittany," Mr. Lopez says. "Do you have a boyfriend back at school?"
Brittany drops her fork.
"Dad," Santana groans.
"I uh… no?" Brittany manages to get out. She looks at Santana because she doesn't know what to do. Santana looks at her dad with a pained expression.
"Dad, I told you Brittany was my girlfriend."
"Yeah, your girl…" Mr. Lopez's eyes widen and he exhales uncomfortably, causing his mustache to ruffle. "Right. I thought you meant, you know, girl…" He trails off again. Brittany honestly doesn't know what to do. Things just got super awkward super fast.
"We've been dating since November," Santana says, her foot hooking tighter around Brittany's leg. Brittany feels her heart squeeze tight. Santana is so brave and cute and perfect and big feelings are surging through every atom and molecule inside her.
Then Santana looks at her and Brittany knows that this is hard for Santana. That bringing up things that are taboo with her family is something that she is willing to do for Brittany because Santana feels big feelings for her too.
Brittany's heart beats faster.
"I…" Mr. Lopez clears his throat. "Sorry," he says.
Santana just shrugs and goes back to eating. Brittany watches Santana's mom who gives Brittany the tiniest of smiles before picking up her fork again. Everyone goes back to eating in silence. Santana's foot never loosens its grip around Brittany.
After a few minutes, everyone seems to be done and Mr. Lopez excuses himself, saying something about reading over a medical case in his office. Santana offers to clear the table so Brittany grabs her plate and follows Santana into the kitchen.
They fall into the routine that they adopted when they eat at Santana's apartment back at school. Brittany washes and Santana dries. Tonight, they do it in silencce. Santana doesn't seem angry or sad. He face isn't giving anything away and Brittany feels the air around them calm.
When she's finished washing the last plate, she hands it over to Santana and pulls the plug in the sink to drain the soapy water. Before it all disappears, she cups a handful of bubbles in her palm. Then she pats Santana lightly on the chin.
"Ho ho ho," Brittany says quietly. Santana glances up at her and Brittany can tell she's biting back a smile.
"You calling me a ho?"
Brittany grins cheekily. "Obviously."
Santana laughs and lunges forward, her hands coming around Brittany's waist and forming a vice-like grip. Then she buries her chin into Brittany's shoulder, making a large wet spot seep through the purple fabric of Brittany's shirt.
"Hey!" Brittany laughs. "Quit that."
"You started it," Santana giggles. Everything in Brittany sighs happily. "Come on. Let's go get ready for bed."
Santana grabs her hand and they walk upstairs together. They pass a bunch of rooms before they finally get to Santana's.
"Am I staying in here or in another room or…" Brittany trails off, uncertain about the boundaries in Santana's house, especially after that awkward moment at dinnner.
"You can sleep in here," Santana says and unzips her duffle bag to find her pajamas. "We're adults and if they don't like it, then that's just too bad for them."
"Okay." Brittany smiles and they both put on their pajama pants and tank tops.
Brittany brushes her teeth while Santana grabs her an extra pillow. When they're finally under the coveres, Santana rolls on her side and rests her head on Brittany's chest. Her hand crawls under Brittany's tank top, not moving or tickling, just resting, as if she simply wants to be close to Brittany. Brittany knows Santana doesn't want to have sex tonight. That's okay with her. Being with Santana is her favorite thing, sex or no sex.
They lay in silence for a long time, but neither of them fall asleep. They simply lay there, breathing each other in and out, over and over.
"Britt-Britt," Santana says eventually.
"Hmmm?" Brittany breathes into Santana's hair.
"Tell me a secret."
Brittany smiles to herself and tries to think of something. "A secret? Well. Your mom totally loves me."
Santana snorts. "That is totally not a secret. She practically welcomed you into the fanmily. I can't believed she showed you that picture of me with purple highlights."
Brittany giggles. "But you were so cute."
Santana scoffs, half-offended. "I wasn't cute. I was punk."
"A cute punk."
"Ugh. Whatever."
"Now you go." Brittany looks down at Santana, wondering what secret or non-secret she is about to learn after all the unintentional secrets she learned from Santana's mom today.
"Hmmm," Santana says. "My mom thinks of Quinn as her daughter."
Brittany pauses her breathing. "What do you mean?"
Santana turns her head to look Brittany in the eyes. "Can I tell you a secret that's sort of not my secret to share?"
"Okay…" Brittany's not sure what Santana is about to tell her, but she won't tell anybody if Santana doesn't want her to.
"When we were in high school, Quinn went through a lot of stuff," Santana begins. She sighs. "When we were sophomores, she got pregnant."
Brittany shifts, unsure of how to process that information.
"She gave her up for adoption," Santana continues. "But she got kicked off the Cheerios and her parents kicked her out. So she stayed with us after that."
Brittany smiles sadly. "That's sad. But so nice of your family."
"Yeah," Santana nods. "But then when we were seniors, she got in a car accident a week after I came out of the closet. Textind and driving. She was in a wheelchair for awhile. And my parents were totally stumped on what to do with us." Santana laughs to herself. "We were the problem children. Always getting into trouble, even with each other. We were constantly fighting."
"Some things never change…" Brittany mumbles. She's taking in every word Santana says and cradling them close to her heart.
"Yeah," Santana sighs, offering Brittany only a small smile at her joke. "I guess I was just thinking of that because when things happen, they kind of just shut down. They don't know what to do except keep pushing through, don't stop, move on to the next thing."
Brittany nods in understanding. Santana and her parents don't talk about the stuff they've been through. They just pretend it didn't really happen and try to get passed it as quickly and painfully as possible.
"I wish Quinn had been here," Santana whispers.
Brittany feels her heart flutter, knowing how rare and special it is for Santana to say something like that. "Why couldn't she come?"
"She went to visit Beth. That's her daughter. The adoptive mother lets Quinn come see her every so often."
"That's nice."
"Yeah," Santana says. "I'm really glad you're here, B."
She squeezes Santana tighter and presses a gentle kiss in her hair, big feelings exploding within her. "Me too."
"Can I tell you another secret?" Santana shifts so she's looking Brittany in the eyes.
Brittany smiles down at her girlfriend, those feelings popping like fireworks in her chest. "Duh."
Santana pinches her lips together, then smiles gently. "I love you."
Brittany feels a laugh burst out of her, and she shakes her head. "Santana. That's not a secret."
"It's not?" Santana raises her eyebrows, both confused and playful.
Brittany just looks at Santana. Like, duh. "No silly."
"Oh."
Brittany rolls her eyes. "That's about as secret as the fact that I love you."
Santana's eyes widen and then she smiles the biggest smile Brittany has ever seen, dimples and everything. "Britt," Santana says, her voice dripping with honeycomb sweetness.
"What?" Brittany smiles as equally huge as Santana.
"Nothing." Santana just shakes her head and leans down to kiss Brittany deeply. Brittany sighs into the kiss, big giant love feelings floating around her.
They spend the next few days just hanging around with Santana's mom. Sometimes Brittany feels awkward because she doesn't know if she should act like she normally does around Santana or if she should just keep on the down low, but the moments are made easier every time Santana smiles at her. Brittany knows it doesn't matter much.
As long as Santana and her feel the same way about each other, as long as secrets or non-secrets can be shared by a simple smile or touch of the hand, Brittany knows that everything will be fine.
When they finally leave to go back to school, Maribel gives Brittany a huge hug, and she feels like her big feelings are getting so big they might combust inside her.
Brittany loves every minute of the car ride back, and even when Santana and Quinn start yelling at each other not one hour after they're home, she feels overjoyed.
So maybe things aren't perfect. Brittany knows she still has a lot to learn about Santana, and that Santana and Quinn have a lot of issues that might just come with who they are and might never be resolved. She knows that Santana's family is complicated and that she and Santana still don't really ever fight.
But despite those things, Brittany knows that her big feelings keep growing every day. She knows that Santana feels the same way about her.
And maybe people like Santana's dad or Rachel don't really get their relationship.
But that's okay. Because when Santana tells Brittany she loves her when they're making dinner, or doing homework, or when they're having sex, Brittany thinks that it's the best secret she's ever heard.
Even if that secret isn't so secret at all.
A/N: Hey all. So I had been working on this fic for a very long time, over a year, and just haven't had a chance to finish it. I finally got inspired so... ta-da. If you're waiting for me to get to more chapters of my Cassverse college sequel to TBMB, no worries. It's about half done. I just got a sudden rush of inspiration and decided to finish this first. I'm obviously super busy with my life, but I'm doing my best to finish it! Your patience is appreciated. I am still taking prompts for it too, if that's of interest to you. Alright, well... thanks for reading still!