Schizophrenia is a lifelong disease.
Some people affected can function almost normally, with the help of medication and family support. Some remain institutionalized, living forever within a ward; safe, on meds, but never allowed to leave because of how the disorder affects them. Some have to be kept isolated, because of how violent they can be.
My Sora is schizophrenic. But he's different.
He doesn't take his medication, at all. He refuses; doesn't like how it makes him feel, how he gains weight, how his muscles become increasingly rigid the more he uses it. As soon as he was released from the ward, he stopped taking them. And the voices, the delusions…they came back.
His parents wouldn't take him, so I did.
I gave him a place to live, a place to call home. Somewhere he would be looked after and cared for. Somewhere he would feel safe when the inevitable hitch in his world happened.
Mostly, his delusions kept him content, if somewhat despondent. He would wander around the apartment, whispering things to himself. Sometimes, I would catch names; Donald, Goofy, 'King' Mickey. Names from cartoons we used to watch every day when we were younger. Sometimes, I would hear Kairi's name. Sometimes, I would hear my own.
Then the storm came, and I had no idea what to do.
I woke up to the sound of thunder; lightning splitting the sky, drowning out the rain. But it couldn't cover the desperate cries of Sora, calling my name over and over. I ran to him, following the broken pleas that were asking me not to go, not to give in to the darkness, not to leave him stranded and alone in a world unknown.
I had no idea what he was talking about. Where was this coming from? Was it because I had been one of the ones who had tried to get him help? Was it because I had put him into the hospital, gotten him on that medication? I'd never left, but maybe I had abandoned him anyways. Abandoned his trust. I was wracked with confusion and guilt, even as I pulled to a stopped in his doorway.
Sora was curled into a tight ball, shivering like he would never stop. I couldn't see his face, but I knew his cheeks would be traced with tears. He had always cried so easily. When we were young, I used to tease him for it, but I was far from laughing now.
I stood frozen for such a long time, until the sky was lit again, and the roll of thunder dragged a whimper from the form on the bed. My body moved on its own, and suddenly, I was next to him, pulling him into a hug, whispering things I wasn't quite sure made sense. But they helped anyways. Sora calmed down, clung to me like a lifeline and slowly ceased his tears. But I didn't let go, didn't move. I didn't want to. I didn't want to ever leave this boy alone again.
He kissed me then, and I swore I never would.
-Sable