Penname: SilverAnemone13
Title: Too Much
Pairing: Emmett & Seth
Rating: M (R)
Genre: Romance/Humor
Wordcount: 4379
Summary: Seth is afraid of rejection, so he hides his true feelings. When the perfect opportunity presents itself, will he have the courage to finally tell the truth?
Warnings: No real warning, but if you don't like Slash, don't read.
Disclaimer: All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners.
AN: This was written for The Mix N' Match Contest. It might be continued, it might not. And if I do continue it, it'll be no more than two chapters. I like it the way it is.
I got the inspiration from a cute drawing video, that I can't link here, so I'll put it on my profile. Check it out!
Link to the full sized banner is on my profile.
Enjoy my boys! I know I do ;)
Seth's POV
Too much. It's just too much. Then again—it's not enough. It never is. I'm so close to him, yet so far away. Everything about him overpowers me—consumes me. His musky scent is intoxicating. I have to restrain myself from leaning in too close so I can smell him better. It's all I think about. He's all I think about. Always.
"Hey, man, snap out of it," he says and nudges me with his shoulder. "That's like the 69th time you've zoned out." He says "69th" with a wink, because everything has to have a sexual innuendo with Emmett. I don't mind. It makes me smile every time he does it.
"Sorry, I was just… uhm," I start to explain, but then I realize I can't say daydreaming. He could take it the wrong way. Or the right, depending on how you view it. Which would also be the wrong way. Shit, I'm confused.
"Hey, I don't care if you're having a wet daydream. Just don't lose focus on the game. I hate winning when it isn't earned." I gulp, because he's actually not far from the truth.
He starts up a new game and sits back to wait while it loads. I glance at him for two seconds before directing my stare at the screen. It always takes my breath away when I do that. He's so handsome it hurts. Or maybe it's the idea that I can never be with him that hurts.
Maybe both.
Probably both.
It's really just a normal afternoon, on a normal day, with a normal activity like playing PlayStation. Except it's not. Today we're alone in the house.
It's a sunny day outside, so everybody decided to go hunting. Jacob and Renesmee went to see Billy in La Push. Rosalie and Alice went to New York. Leah is still in Chicago for her book tour, and then it's just me. And Emmett. He said he didn't need to hunt since he had just mounted a bear a couple of days ago—bragged about it quite a bit too—and asked me if I wanted to just play video games and watch TV all day. It goes without saying that I jumped at the opportunity to spend time alone with him.
So here we are, sitting on the couch in the game room, playing Battlefield 2, and all I can think about is how close he is.
Sure, we've done this a billion times, but never actually alone. There's always been someone in the room or in the house or even just close by. Now, no one's here, and it'll be hours before they come home. I tell myself it's no big deal. It's not like anything's different.
I also tell myself this would be the perfect opportunity to tell him. About how I feel. About the imprint. Maybe he feels the same way. Maybe we can be together.
That thought—that small sliver of hope—has been on my mind constantly all day. It changes between thinking it might actually work, to almost going insane with the thought of how he will despise me if he finds out. Right now, I'm in-between. I've thought so long about this that the possibilities have started to mix together. I imagine him kissing me hard and then screaming at me for making him gay and that he hates me.
I'm such a loser.
Being so close to him all day—knowing that if I kiss him, no one will see or hear it—has fucked me up real good. I've had to go to the bathroom countless times to will my boner down, just to come back into the living room—seeing him, smelling him—and it goes right back up. Thank God I'm wearing loose sweatpants today. He will strangle me if he finds out. Or kiss me. No, he will definitely kill me. Kiss me. Kill. Kiss. Fuck!
I let out a frustrated groan and immediately regret it. Emmett looks at me questioningly, and I stare ahead to avoid his eyes. The game has already come onto the screen, and an idea pops into my mind.
"Uhm, I don't wanna be the top one. Mind if we switch?" Hopefully he will think that's why I groaned.
Emmett's eyes widen, but he quickly clears his throat and averts his gaze from my eyes. That was odd.
"S-sure." He hands me his controller without looking at me. Our fingers touch, and I have to bite my lip so I don't make an embarrassing sound. Emmett is staring at the screen but doesn't start the game. He suddenly looks up, and I automatically search for his eyes. They look confused and vulnerable. I've never seen him like this before. I would give anything to know what he's thinking.
I'm about to ask him if something's wrong when he starts the game, and we end up playing in silence. I don't know what to say now. The more time that passes, the more awkward it gets. I try to focus on the game, but all I can think about is that look in his eyes.
We sit like that through a couple more games, and while the fourth one loads, I look at him. His right leg is pulled up to his chest, and his arms are holding it in place. He's smiling and looking incredibly beautiful. Why is he smiling? It was so awkward before.
I wonder what he's thinking about. I wonder if he's thinking about me.
All I want to do is kiss him. I wish I could. I wish things are different. Maybe they can be? Maybe all I need to do is make it happen. Make a move. There's no one here. Come on, Seth, make a move.
Before I can stop myself, I've dropped my controller, and my hand is on his left arm. I lean over and place my left hand on his right cheek to turn his head in my direction, and then I'm kissing him.
In reality, his lips are cold and hard, but they feel soft and warm against mine. It's even better than I imagined it would be. There's this weird feeling like a connection, a spark. It's present when I'm with him, but it's intensified when I kiss him.
In a split second, it dawns on me what I'm doing. The shame and guilt rush over me, and I pull away even though it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my entire life.
I divert my eyes and stand up to run away. It will crush me to see his anger and rejection. I take a step but stop moving when I feel his strong hand grab a hold of my arm. I want to yank it out of his grip and run, but I just can't. If he wants me to stay, I will. Even if it will break my heart. I'll do anything and everything for him.
There are a million things I want to say to him. I want to tell him that I'm sorry, and it will never happen again. I want to tell him that I love him, and I want it to happen all the time and more. I want to tell him that I'm leaving and never coming back.
I don't tell him any of that.
I keep my mouth shut and my eyes downcast while he tugs at my arm and forces me to turn around to face him. This is it. Things will never be the same now. I should have never been so stupid to kiss him. What we have is good. Friendship is better than nothing, right? Except I don't want friendship. I want him to be mine. So I kissed him. And look where it got me.
I'm brought out of my destructive thoughts when I hear Emmett murmur my name. It's so quiet, I almost miss it. I finally look up just in time to see his eyes close right in front of me, and then his lips are touching mine. I let out a sound between a squeak and a sigh. This doesn't seem to faze him as he presses his lips more firmly against mine.
I have a hundred thoughts and questions whirling around in my head, but the feel of his lips on mine washes all that away. It seems like a dream, but I know it's not. I've dreamt about this happening more times than I can count, and it was never like this. This is real. Oh, shit, this is real. He's really kissing me right now.
I'm definitely thinking way too much. He's kissing me for God's sake—kiss him back!
I open my mouth a little, so I can take his top lip between mine. A shiver runs through me at the motion, and my hands automatically move to his hair. They weave through his soft locks like they belong there. I move my lips more urgently and moan against his mouth. I freeze slightly when his tongue licks my bottom lip, but I'm so caught up in the moment that I don't question it and just open my mouth for him. His taste is exquisite, and a growl breaks through my chest. I almost come undone when I hear him moan.
I lean further into him and move my hands down his neck to his shoulders. It only takes a little push for him to lie down onto the armrest of the couch. Every cell in my body is hyperventilating, and my wolf side is growling at me to make him mine. I want to—so badly—but I know we need to talk about this. I need to tell him everything, and then we have to settle what will happen next. I know that's what should happen, but I finally have him under me—kissing him, feeling him—and I can't let go just yet. I want to stay in this bubble for as long as possible.
"Emmett," I breathe. He groans and grips my hair with his left hand. The kiss—which started out sweet and cautious—turns hard and frantic.
I want to taste every inch of his gorgeous body, so I kiss down his chin to his throat and start licking and sucking. The moan that escapes him is pure animalistic desire, and I have to reach down to adjust myself, because my cock is getting so hard it's a little painful.
As I do, my hand brushes his cock, and it's just as hard as mine. He trembles and pushes his waist upwards in search for my hand. I quickly squeeze my own cock before I softly begin to stroke his. When he groans and pushes against my hand, I stroke harder but still slowly. I'm still kissing and licking his neck. He tastes even better than I'd imagined.
"Emmett," I say and kiss his collarbone. "I've wanted this for so long."
"Seth," he starts, but groans when I bite his earlobe gently. "Fuck, Seth… I, ugh!" I suck hard on his throat, because I don't want him to speak. I don't want him to tell me to stop, because it's wrong. I just want to bring him as much pleasure as I can before it's over. I want to make him mine, just once.
I move my hands to his hair again and kiss him hard. I can't get enough of his taste. I run my hands down his strong chest to his stomach. I can feel his abs under his t-shirt, and I lift it up to his chest so I can see. I've seen him without his shirt on many times, but this feels different.
Maybe it's because I'm fucking hard.
I lean down to lick his abs, but Emmett's hands grab my shoulders, so I look up. He's smiling down at me and giving me a tug—silently asking me to move up his body. As I do, I take his shirt with me and finally get to pull it off him. I hover above him and keep thinking how handsome he looks. Everything about him is perfect—his dark brown hair, teasing smile, and beautiful golden eyes. He's funny, easy-going, loving and smart, smarter than he thinks.
He's perfect in my eyes. Which is why I can't do this to him. We should talk about this. I have to tell him about the imprint. Tell him that I'm in love with him.
I look into his shining eyes and brush my left hand across his right cheek. The moment is so intimate, so perfect, I can't pull away.
He closes his eyes when I kiss his left cheek, and I can finally will myself to pull away. I sit down in the same spot as when we were playing video games and place my elbows on my knees. I drop my head into my hands and sigh.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean for…" I stop myself, because that's not true. I'm not sorry, and I did mean for it to happen. I've been meaning for it to happen for over a year now.
"I imprinted on you." It's simple and quiet, but I said it. I finally fucking said it.
He doesn't say anything, and I'm scared to lift my head, so I have no idea how he's reacting. We just had a hot make-out session, and I still wonder if he'll be mad at me.
I slowly turn my head in his direction, and I'm shocked when I see he's smiling.
"Really?" he asks, smiling widely. My mouth is hanging open, and my eyes are widened. I can't believe it. He's not mad. He's… happy?
He doesn't waste a second, weaving his fingers through my hair at the nape of my neck and pulling me toward him. Our lips touch, and my nervousness and fear just vanishes. I can't help but smile too, and it makes the kiss a little awkward, but I don't care. We're both smiling like fools, and I can't describe how happy I am.
We give up trying to kiss, so I just hug him. I bury my nose in the crook of his neck and sigh contentedly.
"So you imprinted on me, huh?" he inquires. I nod against his neck, too shy to look him in the eye. He pulls away slightly and places his hand under my chin, forcing me to look at him. There's so much emotion in his golden eyes, and I can imagine he sees the same in mine.
"I love you, Seth," he confesses. He has no idea how much I've longed to hear those four words from his lips. I want to say it back, but I'm absolutely speechless. I just stare at him with my mouth hanging open. He fucking loves me.
His smile begins to falter, and I realize he thinks I might not feel the same. I've got to do something and fast.
I grab his face between my hands and crush my lips to his. The force of the action makes him fall backwards, and we're in the exact same position as before. I kiss him hard and urgent, which he responds eagerly to. When I have to breathe, I start kissing his jaw and work my way to his earlobe. I suck on it gently and blow hot air into his ear. His moans and groans, urges me on, and I lean up a bit further so I can whisper in his ear.
"I love you too, so fucking much," I say huskily. He shudders from my proclamation and turns his head to kiss me on the lips again.
The air fills with our moans and growls. There's no doubt in my mind that we both want this, so there's nothing holding me back now. I allow myself to get lost in this breathtakingly, handsome man.
As I run my hands over his bare chest, I can feel his muscles flexing. I lean down to lick his nipple, and he shudders at the contact. I smile at him wickedly and lean over to lick the other nipple. I'm pleased when I get the same reaction as before. He's incredibly responsive to my touch. I love to have him under me while I please every part of his body.
I continue to lick, kiss and suck down his chest and abs. His hands have found their way to my hair, and he's moaning and hissing every time I find a sensitive spot. Our eyes are locked the entire time, and it makes it that much more sensual.
When I reach his pants, I stop moving. I desperately want to take this further, and my wolf is dying to claim him, but I just can't. Whatever determination I had before is gone, because I know we still have so much to talk about. He's married for God's sake! We can't just jump into this without thinking about the consequences. No matter how much I desperately want him.
I kiss Emmett's stomach before moving up his body again. His eyes are open and looking at me expectantly. I brush his dark hair away from his forehead. He grabs my neck and tugs me down for a kiss. I keep it chaste because it's already hard for me to pull away without his tongue in my mouth.
When I do pull away, I lay my head down on his cold chest, because I still want to be close to him. His arms curl around me, and it makes me feel safe.
"I was really scared, you know," I mumble. I figure it's as good a place to start as any.
"What for?" he asks, while his hand runs absentmindedly through my hair. I close my eyes and hum softly.
"Rejection, losing you as a friend, everything." It's easier for me to tell him this when I'm not looking into his eyes, so I continue quietly.
"I imprinted on you after joining Jacob's pack, but I guess I didn't realize it right away." Emmett is still stroking my hair and just listening to me.
"When I finally realized the truth, we'd already become such great friends, and I didn't wanna ruin that." My voice cracks in the end, and I turn my head so it's facing his chest. He tries to gently pull my head upwards, but I won't budge. I'm so embarrassed.
"Seth, please look at me," he says softly. I look up, because I can't deny him anything.
"I've been going crazy ever since I met you." He stops to contemplate his next words. "You're so full of life and joy, and I just…" He stops for a moment and shakes he head. "I spent all this time being confused and wishing things were different. But they're not, so I had to deal." I look at him with confusion because his words don't really make a lot of sense to me.
He lets out a nervous laugh. "I'm not really good with words."
"Just tell me what's going on now," I plead. He turns serious, which is odd to see, because he's Emmett. He's never serious about anything. I guess he really cares. No, I know he really cares about me. Because he loves me.
"I can't tell the future, but I know I don't want to deal anymore. Rosalie… I love her, but she's not right for me. I want to be happy. Like passionately-in-love happy." He laughs again. "If you know what I mean."
Of course I know what he means. I want the same thing. I want to be passionately-in-love happy with Emmett.
I move to get up and make sure to get him to sit up with me, because I still want to be close to him.
"I know what you mean," I finally say. Then I break out into a big grin, because he said he wants to be with me. Well, in subtext that's basically what he said, and I'm over the moon happy about that. He grins too, and the moment is so perfect, I wish I could take a picture of it.
Then my stomach growls, reminding me it's been several hours since I last ate, and his booming laughter fills the room, making me laugh as well.
When our laughter dies down, he places his right hand on my left cheek and leans in to kiss me. I immediately deepen the kiss and moan into his mouth. It quickly turns frantic, and my hands are grabbing at his hair, trying to pull him impossibly closer to me. What is it about this man I just can't seem to get enough of?
My stomach rumbles again, and I break the kiss, breathing heavily.
"Hmm, should really eat something." The words come out a little jumbled, because my mind is still dazing from the kiss.
"In a minute." He smiles and kisses me again.
He trails cold kisses down my jaw and stops to suck on my Adam's apple. I momentarily forget what it is that I'm supposed to do, because his lips feel so amazing. That is until my stomach rumbles again. He sighs loudly and unnecessarily to show his disappointment, and I almost say to hell with eating when he removes his body from mine.
"Humans and their need to eat all the fucking time," he says and snorts. I can't help but laugh, because he's just so adorable. He asks me what's so funny, so I tell him, while I stand up from the couch. He just snorts in reply, but I know he likes it.
I hear him mumble cock blocker under his breath, and it makes me smile widely. He looks at me and shakes his head but smiles anyway. I lean down to peck him on the lips, simply because I can, and wink at him before I make my way to the kitchen.
Esme stocked up on groceries before they all left, and she even made some lasagna that I can reheat if I don't feel like cooking. And I really don't. She just knows me so well.
As the lasagna heats in the oven, Emmett comes in and scoops me up in his arms and swings me around. I laugh loudly at his childish behavior but stop when he kisses me deeply. I'd already come to miss his lips against mine, so I respond eagerly. I'm so happy it's ridiculous.
When we finally break apart, the lasagna is done, and I quickly get a huge piece on a plate. I tease Emmett about his grimaces, and he teases me about overeating.
"Is not overeatin' ef ou dond get fad," I mumble with a mouth full of food. He quirks an eyebrow, and I smack him on the shoulder as hard as I can. Otherwise, it won't hurt him.
"I'm not fad!" I defend with food still in my mouth and a slightly bruised ego.
"Relax, Seth. You're not fat. You're perfect," he said, laughing. I blush at his comment and look down at my plate. Inside, I'm screaming like a little schoolgirl. He thinks I'm perfect!
I finish the last of the lasagna in ten seconds and quickly scurry to the sink. As I'm washing the plate clean, I can't help thinking about the future. What happens when the others come home? Emmett said he doesn't think Rosalie is right for him, but does that mean he'll leave her for me?
Suddenly, Emmett's arms encircle me from behind, and I gasp. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts, I didn't even hear him come up behind me.
"Tell me what you're thinking about," he whispers in my ear. I shiver from his cold breath and melt into his embrace.
"The future," I mumble. I'm reluctant to talk to him about this. What if he tells me something I don't want to hear?
He's quiet for a moment, and I'm worried he's going say it doesn't matter. Because it matters to me.
"I remember when Bella broke your arm and collarbone. I was so worried about you. I didn't know what to do with myself," Emmett confesses. I'm surprised he's telling me this. What does it have to do with the future?
"What—"
"And when we were all out hunting a few months ago, and I smelled a human, you held me back and calmed me down." I remember it clearly. Jasper and Alice were on vacation, and with me and Jacob there, Alice hadn't seen the vision. Emmett had smelled the human before the rest of us, and while the other Cullens ran away, I jumped on Emmett to hold him back. It was hard, and he broke my paw and gave quite a few bruises, but eventually he settled down.
"I—"
"I was beside myself for hurting you, but I couldn't show it, and it was killing me."
I turn around and fling my arms around him.
"Do you know how much I love you now?" he asks. I nod into his shoulder, while a tear leaks out of my eye. There are so many emotions in my heart, I feel like I could burst.
"Do you doubt I wanna be with you?" I close my eyes and slowly shake my head.
"Then stop worrying about the future. If we can be together, then that's all that matters, right?"
I finally look up into Emmett's beautiful golden eyes and sigh at the thought of being with him forever. He removes his hand from my waist and slides the tear from my cheek. I smile, so he'll know I'm not sad but happy and relieved. How can a guy like me be so lucky to be with a man like Emmett? It seems impossible in my head, yet here he is, holding me in his arms, saying he loves me.
I was right; it is too much. But I want it all and so much more.
With those thoughts, I crash my lips to his and finally surrender myself to my desires and to my man.