AN: this is the first thing I've posted here in two years. Just an idea. tell me what you think.

It hurts. It tears me apart.

I miss her.

I want my life back.

I regret every single decision I made that night and I desperately need , for my own life's sake to make them undone;

for I want my love, my spirit and my freedom back.

I was weak; for a moment I gave up under the pressure, I gave in to his demands.

And now I'll regret it for the entire rest of my so called life.

But you can't blame me for what happened; it was a miracle that I even lasted that long. Father has a way of pressuring and torturing a person 'til even a bullet to the head sounds like heaven.

Right now, death actually sounds like a good option.

I gave her life away.

Father is a frightening being with an awful character; for he is hard, demanding, strong and conscious-free.

I still wonder how a delicate and beautiful creature like my mother obliged to marry such a monster.

I still like to pretend that I'm adopted rather than to imagine what my mother had to suffer through while conceiving me.

But of course, the resemblances are too striking for there to even be a doubt of who my biological father is.

I just wish they'd never had done this to me, and that they'd never put me into this situation where I'm being forced to give up the first person who'd ever shown me a hint of affection.

The memory of her beauty still amazes me to the point that I where I doubt my sanity.

The simplicity and perfection of her face.

Her ever so desirable body.

Her alluring smile that would melt any man's heart

And the beautiful sound of her laughter that makes a man struggle desperately to make her laugh.

She's a goddess in a human body.

And for what feels like just a short moment; she was mine.

And now she's gone. Forever. Not just gone from me but from the whole world.

See you never ought to cross my father, for her surely makes you regret it.

He tortured, betrayed and destroyed me.

Not even by killing him , which I made sure was as cruel and full of torture that he deserved, do I feel better.

Tears won't give me blunder, and they give no peace of mind.

The anger's just distracting but won't spare me from this life.

I try to live on, and I try to hang by.

But still at night I wonder - why am I still alive?

This is my curse, my life as Draco Malfoy.

AN: hey every1 !

If you wanna read more, get to know who the girl is/was and to know how Draco betrayed her you have to Review and tell me about it.

If you don't then I'll just give up .

Oh and btw D/H slash later on probably. luvs.

3

carshaa