Need You Now - Part 1: Katara
Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor
Reachin' for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time
It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now
I guess things never end up like they do in fairytales. They start out that way, but in the end the real world takes over and ruins the fantasy. Our story is no different, I guess. Just because he's the Avatar and I was a young and impressionable girl doesn't mean ours would end up any different. It kind of makes me think less of Gran-Gran for filling my head with all those lies.
It's been a few weeks, and I'm starting to have problems remembering just why I'm sitting alone in a Fire Nation Hotel while he is Zuko's guest at the palace. Well, I am the one who stormed out, so I can't fault anyone but myself for the sleeping arrangements. I know he did something wrong, but the alcohol is making the details fuzzy. It must have been something awful, I'm sure.
I vaguely remember an argument, just vaguely. I think it had something to do with the palace women being just a little too helpful about helping him dress. I'm his wife, for Spirits' sake. I'm the only one who should be helping him dress or undress or do anything in the bedroom, not some snotty little palace whore.
I see the way they regard me. I'm a master waterbender, the Avatar's wife, I'm practically royalty in the Water Tribes, and those hussies still look down their noses at me. Like I'm some kind of peasant to them.
I pick up the bottle of saké and drink straight from the bottle. Who needs a glass? I don't. I'm just some peasant, after all. No need for manners with Katara.
And Aang has some nerve telling me I'm overreacting. How dare he! How dare he tell me what to think and how to feel. Katara, you're being silly. Katara, you shouldn't feel jealous. Katara, I only belong to you.
Right. If that were true, then why do I have to share you with the entire world?
I stare out the window and try to ignore the view of the palace. Why did I get the one room in this damned hotel with a view of the palace? I don't give a damn about views. I don't want to see the stupid palace. I don't want to see anyone from the palace. I just want to be alone.
The tears start to fall, and I wipe them away on the back of my hand. I stare angrily at the stars and curse his existence.
There was a time a few years ago when he'd be sitting right next to me, hand in mine, gazing at the stars in wonder. He'd tell me stories of his youth. He'd tell me secret thoughts he kept during our travels that would make me sigh and feel like melting. He'd kiss me and make me relive all those moments.
The perfect wedding. The first night alone. The time he fell in the lake and pulled me in after him. The secret kisses we shared when no one was looking. The exhilarating feeling of being his.
And my tears fall like all those scattered memories, shattered and broken and useless.
For all my efforts, I can't get Aang out of my mind.
The alcohol whispers sweet words into my mind, and it has me reaching for my shoes and a band to tie my hair back with. It tells me I need to go to the palace. I don't even register until later that it's well past 1 am and that they'll all be asleep by now. This is such a good idea, why should anyone else think otherwise? I get to the door, only barely stumbling.
I make my way to the streets, a little unsteadily. I focus my bleary gaze on the Fire Palace, blazing like a beacon in the cold night. I start to walk towards it. Why on earth is everything spinning like this?
I need to see him. I need to confront him and tell him exactly what I think. This is the only thought I have, and it drives me to succeed despite my handicap. So I stumble on.
I can't stop thinking about him. And I wonder uselessly whether he's been thinking of me? I swore I wouldn't do this, but it's seems like such a good idea right now. I mean, maybe he wants to see me right now.
Spirits, I miss him so much I think my heart is breaking apart.
The full moon pushes me onward. She lends me strength. I find myself near a fountain. I collapse against the stone wall and stare at my reflection in the cool water. I'm a mess. This is what I've been reduced to. Some pathetic, weepy, weak woman pining after lost love.
Why, after all this, do I still love him?
Because I need him. I need him now, more than ever. But I just stare at my reflection and cry.