Changes
Chapter One
It had been a strange and very painful 6 months since Manticore had been destroyed. First coming back from the dead or so Logan had thought, then nearly killing him with a kiss. Manticore had being fucking up my life since the day I was born and even before that. But this was something different; the virus they implanted in me, to trap then kill Logan was something else. The pains of being near him and unable to touch him in case I killed him, it was more than I could stand most days. Then the whole White and familiar's thing, need I go on, and then there was Alec. He had been the thorn in my side since he had walked in my cell that day back at Manticore. Announcing that he was my breeding partner, I soon let him know how I felt about that, remembering that scene did bring a little smile to my face. Oh, lets not forget him trying to kill Joshua & me, and giving up my one chance of getting rid of the virus to save his fucking arse. You'd think when I told him that I didn't want to see his sorry arse again; he'd get the clue. But not Alec, he gets a job at Jam Pony, not to start a new life, but to get a, all sectors pass to carry on his cat burglar life, god what is it about that bloke that drives me mad…
I knew what it was, he reminded me of me, well of how I used to be, I'd changed; I was a better person now! When I looked it him, I Saw what I really was, a killer. I, I saw Ben. I saw how Ben used to be when we at Manticore, the gentle, loved one, I saw the murderer he had turned into, and I saw him dead lying in my arms after I had snapped his neck. I saw myself saving my own arse from Lydecker & his Manticore goons. And because of that, I gave him a hard time; I ripped into him every chance I got. It didn't matter how many missions he went on for Eyes only with me, or that he had saved my arse a few times. I just couldn't help myself. He was so fucking cocky, so confident so… Alec. I watched him in Crash with the girls all over him, god it seemed to get to me. If I admitted it, I was jealous that he was getting some and I wasn't and of course we know whose fault that was…
Then things changed, then, there was Rachel! Whole of that business, made me see a side of Alec I didn't know about. I will never forget him holding Rachel and crying, it actually broke my heart to see it. I even offered to be there to talk to if he needed,but Alec being Alec didn't need to talk because he was fine. I remembered what Joshua had said,
"Alec is all Trick and treats on the outside but underneath, confused and in turmoil"
I asked Joshua what was Alec was confused about
"Manitcore" he had replied
So I let him be, it was easier for me, I didn't have to be near him. To have to look into his face, into those eyes, they may be a different colour to Ben's but they were the same eyes…
~ ~ ~
Then it happened again, I infected Logan. We were in Crash; I had been talking to Alec, he had just told Asha that he didn't think they should see each other again. Then he was trying to tell me why.
"Max, we don't belong with them. We're a danger to them. When are you going to finally see that"
I knew what Alec was getting at, whole Logan & me situation. I told him straight
"Mind his own business"
He started to argue back but that's when Logan had come up and asked what was going on, I told him nothing and I was heading home, I was tired, then he grabs my arm. Next thing he is on the floor, finding it hard to breath. When we got to the hospital, they had done their tests; the only thing that could save him was a blood transfusion from a transgenic. I couldn't give blood so I called Alec and he said 15 minutes, 15 minutes my arse no fucking sign of him. I had to call Joshua in the end and he came straight over and Logon was fine, he was more than fine, he was fucking lucky.
I wasn't, I was so mad with Logan for being so stupid and the way he grabbed me, and it was like he was jealous? I was mad with Alec for not showing up, he knew it was life and death. But one thing I learned was, I couldn't go through this again. I did it over the phone so I wouldn't have to look at him, the coward's way, he knew what was coming and tried to keep talking so I couldn't say it. But I did, I told him I couldn't go though that again. I was also pissed with him over it and because of him I have to feel even guiltier then I already do. It was for the best, it had to be this way, he didn't like it but tough.
I found out the next day why Alec didn't turn up, sector cops had arrested him for murder. Well fuck him, he made his bed, he could lay in it.
OC asked me." Why you, not going to help your boy"
I told her straight "he ain't my boy"
"Stop bullshitting me and go help Alec out and see what's up Boo"
She's the only one that can straighten me out, actually made me feel bad. So I went to see him in the police station, pretending to be his lawyer. Found out, that not only had he been ID by this dead guy's wife, they also had DNA proof that Alec was the killer. Well I was so fucking angry at him, that when they let me see him, I told him that I was going to leave him there for White and that I regretted ever letting him out of Manticore. God, his face when I said that, it really took me back,
1 "Max do you really believed that I would kill in cold blood"
I replied "yes"
"Do you really think that I would kill some guy and then pull his teeth out afterwards"
Just then I had a flash back to Ben, and that second I knew Alec was innocent, just then a cop walked in, I took him out with one elbow. Alec didn't even have to be told, he was up and out of his chair, and following me out the door. Before you knew it, we're hanging off a drainpipe being shot at by sector police. All in a nights work!
We finally got back to my place and finally someone spoke, it was Alec
2 "What made you believe me"?
3 "Because it was Ben who killed that man"
Alec's just stared at me so, I had to tell him the truth, truth about Ben and the people he had killed and that I had killed him and saved my own arse.
4 "Max, I'm sorry"
Then he did the funniest thing, he gave me a hug. I'd just told him how I had killed his twin and he was hugging me. God I have to admit it felt good being hugged, just the touch by another human, it was nice. We talked for hours that night about Manticore and Ben, what he was like and how he made all of us in our unit feel loved.
He talked of what happen after the breakout and how things had got worse, the brain washing, beatings and much, much worse. I felt comfortable with Alec for the first time, the next day when I headed for work, I had the feeling he really didn't want to leave me, I asked him where he was heading.
5 "I going to stay at Joshua's for a while"
6 "He'll like that"
7 "Max, thanks for last night"
"Anytime"
"No Max, thanks for letting me know"
"Thanks for, well you know, listening and understanding" I stared at the ground
8 "If I am honest, that's why I give you such a hard time, cos you look like Ben"
He could see that I was in pain just thinking about Ben, so he came up and hugged me
9 "Ever thought it might be because, I'm such a pain is the ass"
He made me smile and I playfully pushed him away, unbeknownst to us Logan had watched whole of this scene from across the road. Of course he got the wrong idea, and I didn't let him think any different, it was the only way to keep Logan at a distant that was safe for both of us. It upset me to see him like that, I had never seen him drunk before and the whole trying to stop me from leaving, to tell the truth it sends a shiver through me when I think of it.
My relationship with Alec and Logan changed after that night. For a long while it was hard to talk or even be around Logan, I still did missions for Eyes Only and as time passed I found it easier being near him. I knew he still wanted more but I was a realist I knew until the virus was gone, there was no use. I didn't matter that I still loved him; it didn't matter that he still loved me. It was the way it had to be for now!!…
This is my first ever FF please be gentle. I am also dyslexic, so if there are some really weird spelling mistakes, I apologise now!!! I would appreciate constructive reviews, and if you can see ways to improve the layout, I would very much like to hear from you.
Chapter One
It had been a strange and very painful 6 months since Manticore had been destroyed. First coming back from the dead or so Logan had thought, then nearly killing him with a kiss. Manticore had being fucking up my life since the day I was born and even before that. But this was something different; the virus they implanted in me, to trap then kill Logan was something else. The pains of being near him and unable to touch him in case I killed him, it was more than I could stand most days. Then the whole White and familiar's thing, need I go on, and then there was Alec. He had been the thorn in my side since he had walked in my cell that day back at Manticore. Announcing that he was my breeding partner, I soon let him know how I felt about that, remembering that scene did bring a little smile to my face. Oh, lets not forget him trying to kill Joshua & me, and giving up my one chance of getting rid of the virus to save his fucking arse. You'd think when I told him that I didn't want to see his sorry arse again; he'd get the clue. But not Alec, he gets a job at Jam Pony, not to start a new life, but to get a, all sectors pass to carry on his cat burglar life, god what is it about that bloke that drives me mad…
I knew what it was, he reminded me of me, well of how I used to be, I'd changed; I was a better person now! When I looked it him, I Saw what I really was, a killer. I, I saw Ben. I saw how Ben used to be when we at Manticore, the gentle, loved one, I saw the murderer he had turned into, and I saw him dead lying in my arms after I had snapped his neck. I saw myself saving my own arse from Lydecker & his Manticore goons. And because of that, I gave him a hard time; I ripped into him every chance I got. It didn't matter how many missions he went on for Eyes only with me, or that he had saved my arse a few times. I just couldn't help myself. He was so fucking cocky, so confident so… Alec. I watched him in Crash with the girls all over him, god it seemed to get to me. If I admitted it, I was jealous that he was getting some and I wasn't and of course we know whose fault that was…
Then things changed, then, there was Rachel! Whole of that business, made me see a side of Alec I didn't know about. I will never forget him holding Rachel and crying, it actually broke my heart to see it. I even offered to be there to talk to if he needed,but Alec being Alec didn't need to talk because he was fine. I remembered what Joshua had said,
"Alec is all Trick and treats on the outside but underneath, confused and in turmoil"
I asked Joshua what was Alec was confused about
"Manitcore" he had replied
So I let him be, it was easier for me, I didn't have to be near him. To have to look into his face, into those eyes, they may be a different colour to Ben's but they were the same eyes…
~ ~ ~
Then it happened again, I infected Logan. We were in Crash; I had been talking to Alec, he had just told Asha that he didn't think they should see each other again. Then he was trying to tell me why.
"Max, we don't belong with them. We're a danger to them. When are you going to finally see that"
I knew what Alec was getting at, whole Logan & me situation. I told him straight
"Mind his own business"
He started to argue back but that's when Logan had come up and asked what was going on, I told him nothing and I was heading home, I was tired, then he grabs my arm. Next thing he is on the floor, finding it hard to breath. When we got to the hospital, they had done their tests; the only thing that could save him was a blood transfusion from a transgenic. I couldn't give blood so I called Alec and he said 15 minutes, 15 minutes my arse no fucking sign of him. I had to call Joshua in the end and he came straight over and Logon was fine, he was more than fine, he was fucking lucky.
I wasn't, I was so mad with Logan for being so stupid and the way he grabbed me, and it was like he was jealous? I was mad with Alec for not showing up, he knew it was life and death. But one thing I learned was, I couldn't go through this again. I did it over the phone so I wouldn't have to look at him, the coward's way, he knew what was coming and tried to keep talking so I couldn't say it. But I did, I told him I couldn't go though that again. I was also pissed with him over it and because of him I have to feel even guiltier then I already do. It was for the best, it had to be this way, he didn't like it but tough.
I found out the next day why Alec didn't turn up, sector cops had arrested him for murder. Well fuck him, he made his bed, he could lay in it.
OC asked me." Why you, not going to help your boy"
I told her straight "he ain't my boy"
"Stop bullshitting me and go help Alec out and see what's up Boo"
She's the only one that can straighten me out, actually made me feel bad. So I went to see him in the police station, pretending to be his lawyer. Found out, that not only had he been ID by this dead guy's wife, they also had DNA proof that Alec was the killer. Well I was so fucking angry at him, that when they let me see him, I told him that I was going to leave him there for White and that I regretted ever letting him out of Manticore. God, his face when I said that, it really took me back,
1 "Max do you really believed that I would kill in cold blood"
I replied "yes"
"Do you really think that I would kill some guy and then pull his teeth out afterwards"
Just then I had a flash back to Ben, and that second I knew Alec was innocent, just then a cop walked in, I took him out with one elbow. Alec didn't even have to be told, he was up and out of his chair, and following me out the door. Before you knew it, we're hanging off a drainpipe being shot at by sector police. All in a nights work!
We finally got back to my place and finally someone spoke, it was Alec
2 "What made you believe me"?
3 "Because it was Ben who killed that man"
Alec's just stared at me so, I had to tell him the truth, truth about Ben and the people he had killed and that I had killed him and saved my own arse.
4 "Max, I'm sorry"
Then he did the funniest thing, he gave me a hug. I'd just told him how I had killed his twin and he was hugging me. God I have to admit it felt good being hugged, just the touch by another human, it was nice. We talked for hours that night about Manticore and Ben, what he was like and how he made all of us in our unit feel loved.
He talked of what happen after the breakout and how things had got worse, the brain washing, beatings and much, much worse. I felt comfortable with Alec for the first time, the next day when I headed for work, I had the feeling he really didn't want to leave me, I asked him where he was heading.
5 "I going to stay at Joshua's for a while"
6 "He'll like that"
7 "Max, thanks for last night"
"Anytime"
"No Max, thanks for letting me know"
"Thanks for, well you know, listening and understanding" I stared at the ground
8 "If I am honest, that's why I give you such a hard time, cos you look like Ben"
He could see that I was in pain just thinking about Ben, so he came up and hugged me
9 "Ever thought it might be because, I'm such a pain is the ass"
He made me smile and I playfully pushed him away, unbeknownst to us Logan had watched whole of this scene from across the road. Of course he got the wrong idea, and I didn't let him think any different, it was the only way to keep Logan at a distant that was safe for both of us. It upset me to see him like that, I had never seen him drunk before and the whole trying to stop me from leaving, to tell the truth it sends a shiver through me when I think of it.
My relationship with Alec and Logan changed after that night. For a long while it was hard to talk or even be around Logan, I still did missions for Eyes Only and as time passed I found it easier being near him. I knew he still wanted more but I was a realist I knew until the virus was gone, there was no use. I didn't matter that I still loved him; it didn't matter that he still loved me. It was the way it had to be for now!!…
This is my first ever FF please be gentle. I am also dyslexic, so if there are some really weird spelling mistakes, I apologise now!!! I would appreciate constructive reviews, and if you can see ways to improve the layout, I would very much like to hear from you.