It was something she should have anticipated, honestly. She should have known he would turn on her just as she turned on him. A rookie mistake with tragic consequences. How dramatic. She smiled slightly. At least I went out with a bang. Lying on the grass in varying levels of pain arriving in waves gave Missy time to think. About her mistakes. Her successes. Her life. Her Doctor. The Doctor that wasn't there to watch her die. Probably for the best, she decided. Last time she nearly died the Doctor had wept and begged her to regenerate. Her foolish previous incarnation refused. Missy wondered whether the Doctor would weep this time, too. Unlikely. He is not as forgiving at this age. She thought. He could never forgive me for what I've done in the past. Her heart ached. He could never... love me. While at any other time, such a thought would be quickly snapped at and removed from her mind, this time, Missy decided she was allowed to be foolish while dying.
Some time later, she still lay there breathing. Her eyes were screwed shut in pain, and she likely looked quite dead, yet she held on for the simple and unlikely hope that the Doctor would arrive. The Master was long gone. Or not that long. How much time has passed? Missy wondered. She opened her eyes as she felt another wave of pain hit her, hoping to see something beautiful or interesting before she inevitably died. Just a tree. She sighed. Her last dying sight would be a tree. How fittingly boring. Suddenly, the rustling of footsteps amongst leaves came from nearby. Oh please, please be the Master coming back to finish me off. She thought, wishing she had the energy to roll her eyes. "Missy?" A voice called urgently from nearby. Doctor. He came. She smiled sadly. She wished she had the energy to tell him where she was, but words wouldn't come out at her request. Please find me.
The Doctor searched the area for several more minutes until he practically tripped over Missy's almost lifeless body. "Oh Missy..." he whispered, bending down to kneel beside her. Missy smiled slightly to show she was still alive, and the Doctor smiled in return. "Why don't you regenerate, love?" He said gently, noticing her pain. Missy willed her mouth to open, but could not manage to speak. "Is this easier?" He asked telepathically, hoping she'd be able to reply. Missy shook her head slightly. Speaking telepathically took too much energy. "How about now?" He asked, reverting to their native language of Gallifreyan. Missy smiled slightly. "Better." She replied. Somehow speaking a language other than the one she grew up speaking was too difficult on her deathbed. Or maybe Gallifreyan is simply more of a comfort, she thought. "You need to regenerate Missy. You're dying." The Doctor said, stroking her arm. Had Missy had the energy, she would have snapped something in reply to his very obvious statement, but sarcasm took energy she didn't have. "Can't. Too... too much." She whispered. The Doctor frowned. "But you have to." He replied. Missy smiled slightly. "Sorry." The Doctor shook his head, and scooped her up into his arms. "No. No, no, no. You are not dying, Missy." He muttered, his expression unreadable. Missy curled into his chest as he used her vortex manipulator to transport them to his TARDIS.
"Nothing... you can do." Missy whispered, shutting her eyes as another wave of pain hit. The Doctor shook his head. "You're wrong." He lay her down a nearby chair, not even having the time to run to the medbay. Missy groaned as the pain grew in intensity. "Not... long..." she muttered, reaching out to the Doctor. He shook his head and turned away. "You'll be fine, Missy." He said, placing his head in his hands. "Please." Missy called out, gasping as her chest ached in pain. 'Please' was a word rarely used by Missy. In fact, the Doctor could not remember the last time she said it and meant it. The Doctor crouched beside her and held her hand. "I'm sorry." He whispered. Missy shook her head. "Not your fault." She managed to get out. "No... I'm sorry for what I'm about to do." The Doctor replied. Missy frowned and turned to face him, her eyes widening as his hands began to glow bright. "No!" She cried. The Doctor shut his eyes as he felt the regeneration energy leave his body and flow to Missy. The light surrounded Missy's hands and began surrounding her body. Missy screamed in pain as she regenerated, her back arching off the seat she was lying on. Once the light faded, Missy checked her hands and body, before feeling her face. Nothing was too different. She then stood up and turned to face the Doctor with an angry expression.
"That was not necessary." She snapped. The Doctor shook his head. "You would have died." He replied. "So? It wasn't worth you wasting an entire regeneration!" Missy said angrily. Her lip trembled slightly and she scolded herself for allowing such a ridiculous show of emotion. "Missy..." the Doctor sighed, reaching out to her. She ignored him and stepped away. "You're an idiot." She growled. "What did you expect me to do, Missy? I couldn't just watch you die!" The Doctor cried. "You could have." Missy replied. "I couldn't. I couldn't... I don't want to lose you Missy. Especially now." The Doctor sighed, running a hand through his hair. Missy's eyes softened slightly. "Why?" She asked. "Because... you've changed, Missy. I know you have." The Doctor replied. "What do you mean?" Missy asked, feeling calmer. The Doctor sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. A sign of nervousness, Missy noted. "I couldn't lose you just after I got you back." The Doctor said quickly, as if hoping that getting the words out faster would save him from embarrassment. He searched her expression for a sign that she understood what he meant - praying he would not have to explain for the sake of his own embarrassment - and Missy nodded in reply. Missy smiled and stepped towards the Doctor, closing the gap she had made while angry with him. "I would've figured something out." She smirked. The Doctor rolled his eyes. "I'm sure." He replied with a smile. Missy's smile faded, and the Doctor noticed.
"What is it?" He asked. Missy looked down. "It's ridiculous." She whispered. "Tell me." The Doctor said encouragingly. "When... when I was dying, I was thinking about all the bad things I've done. Things that you might not be able to... forgive me for." She whispered, not lifting her gaze from the floor. The Doctor stayed silent, sensing she wasn't done. "I don't think I'll ever be what you want me to be." She finished, meeting his eyes once more with an uncharacteristically vulnerable expression. The Doctor reached out to take her hand, and Missy hesitantly allowed him to. "I just want my friend back, same as you do." He replied. "But what if I can never be that again?" She said with a hint of worry in her voice. "Missy, you're already well on your way. I told you, you've changed." He said with a smile. Missy smiled slightly in return, deciding she had already been ridiculous enough by displaying her emotions so freely, and nodded to end the conversation.
"Now," the Doctor said, turning to the console. "Where to?" He asked. "What do you mean?" Missy asked. "I mean exactly what I said. Where to, Missy?" He repeated. "Anywhere. Everywhere." Missy smiled. "Anywhere and everywhere it is, then," the Doctor smiled in return, and pulled the last lever necessary, sending the TARDIS off the ground and into space and time.