Have you ever told yourself that you'd never do one certain thing in your life? I've told myself the same thing so many times in the past few weeks. I have to stop myself from reverting back to the old Emma. The scared, hurt Emma. I made a promise to myself I'd never be her again. I need to stop myself before I slip back into the pain I experienced years ago. Love and loss. I need to make sure I'm alright. I need to be focused...on my son. Henry's face floats up in my memories and I hold back a frustrated cry.
"Emma?" I hear Mary Margaret call. I speed up a little faster, trying to ignore the wobbling in my legs. I push away some bushes and come to the clearing where we had made camp. Mary Margaret comes close to me and hugs me tightly. I feel tears rush to the surface but I hold them back. I need to lock up my emotions again, they had gotten too far this time.
"Where have you been?! I've been worried," she says, her head coming up so she could look at me. I avoid her eyes, knowing that if I looked at her she would be able to tell what was in my eyes. The memory of warm lips and a hand in my hair.
"I'm fine Mary Margaret," I force out of my clenched teeth. Her eyes narrow, but I slip out of her embrace and turn away before she can question me. I look around for a few seconds before collapsing down on a log. I felt everything in my brain flying at high speed, trying to get my attention. I felt my skin tingling from where he had touched it. My mouth still burned as if it could still feel his lips there. I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts again.
I try to focus on Henry, and on our plan to get him back, but flashes of the last minutes of my life keep running through my brain. I let out a big sigh and squeeze my eyes shut, trying to think of something else. I can't feel this way...not again. I won't be able to take the pains and the loss if he died, too. I already knew that if anything happened to Hook I would feel responsible. I shivered at the thought of something happening to him. I hear David and Mary Margaret talking and moving around behind me and another voice joins in.
"I've brought firewood!" a triumphant voice says loudly. I jerk up off my log and slowly face the clearing again. Hook pushes out of the bushes, his arms full of wood. I watch his eyes roam until they find mine. He sends a smirk my way, his eyes dancing. I feel something spring up in me again that I quickly try to shove back down. No Emma, you can't keep feeling that way.
"Oh good, I was just wondering where you had gone off to," another voice says. Regina comes out of the bushes, a frown on her face. "We need to do something! Henry's still out there, and with David the way he was, we haven't hardly done anything all day!"
"Thanks for the concern Regina," comes David's voice. I look up from staring at my boots to see him send a grin my way. I send a small smile back at him, grateful that he looked so much better after... My eyes again drifted to the leather clad pirate that never seemed to be too far away from my thoughts. As if he could sense my eyes on him, he turns to me and raises an eyebrow.
"I'll have you know that I did quite enjoy gathering this firewood," Hook says, watching my reaction closely. He licks his lips slowly and I can't stop the shiver that works it's way up my spine. My heart rate starts to pick up and I frown. I have to focus on Henry. Only Henry. No other distractions. Especially a distraction that kept sending me that irresistible smile. I sit down hard again on the log I had only just recently vacated. I turn away from the chatting group and look at the slowly darkening jungle. I try to take deep breaths and focus on our rescue mission but only a few minutes had passed when there was a hand on my shoulder.
"Emma," David says quietly and sits down next to me, his arm pulling me close to him. I drop my head on his shoulder and let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. "Is there something wrong?"
"No...no...I'm just tired and worried about Henry," I say and straighten back up sharply when again I almost feel Hook's fingers in my hair. David turns his head and I can sense him watching me closely.
"You know you can tell me anything," he says gently. After those words, something in me just snaps. My emotions were too out of control, and they begged to be let out.
"Oh! I can tell you anything! Did you ever think about letting your own family know you were dying?!" I say, my voice slowly rising. David goes to grab my hand but I quickly stand up and move out of his reach.
"Emma I didn't want you to worry-" he starts but I raise my hand to cut him off.
"I don't want to hear it. Why does everyone here think that I'm not capable of taking care of myself?!" I lash out and suddenly everything is quiet and all eyes are on me.
"Well, I for one could give you many reasons for that," Regina says, giving me a tired look as if my shouting was bothering her. I stare at all the eyes on me and a feeling floats up from my stomach to my throat. I realize how stupid I was being, yelling. It wouldn't get me anywhere. Before I could stop them, tears pricked at my vision.
"Emma..." Mary Margaret begins to come towards me, but I step back.
"No! No...I'm okay...I just need a few minutes..." I say, my voice raw. I turn and start quickly away, stumbling through the bushes as my vision blurs with tears.
"Emma!" voices call after me but I tear my way through the trees even faster. My breath starts coming in shorter gasps as I continue running through the jungle. Soon I stumble and fall into the dirt. I feel tears streaming down my cheeks and I feel ashamed of myself. I hardly ever break down like this...and when I do, it's when my son needs me most.
"Well looks like our little lost girl is having a rough day," a voice says from above me. I jerk my head up and meet Pan's eyes. I stand up quickly and shove him away from me.
"Where's Henry?" I question in a soft voice.
"Shh, just take a few deep breaths," the boy says, his sly eyes watching me. I wipe furiously at my wet cheeks and give him a hard stare. He lets out a laugh at my expression.
"What?"
"You look so much like your precious Bae when you do that," he says slowly. I feel my heart stutter at his words.
"What do you know about Neal?" I ask him, my voice just barely a whisper. Pan smiles and leans on a tree behind him.
"Not much," he says, his eyes shining with secrets. Without even realizing it, I rush at him, but before my hands even graze him something connects with my stomach. I let a cry and fall to the ground.
"You try to touch Pan again and it'll hurt worse," a rough voice says. Someone pulls me onto my back and I see one of the Lost Boys above me, a scowl on his features. I cough and try to get air back into my lungs.
"Oh sweet, foolish Emma. You still think you can beat me," Pan's soft voice says as he, too, leans over me. He gives me a knowing smile and motions for the other boy to leave. "I hope I'll have the pleasure of seeing you again soon," his voice fading as he follows the other boy and they both disappear. I struggle to sit up and a sharp pain stops me. I let out a groan and drop back on my back and close my eyes. I had been so close to grabbing that little...
"Emma!" a frantic voice cries from above me and I feel a warm hand on my cheek. My eyes blink open to meet two ocean blue ones. "What happened?" Hook asks, his fingers softly rubbing my still wet cheek. I try to shift away from his touch only to send another pain down my leg.
"Pan," I say and Hook curses. He stands up and looks around the clearing as if he expected the boy to come rushing out at us. "He's gone."
"Did he hurt you?" he asks, turning his concerned eyes back to me.
"No...he had someone else with him," I say and close my eyes again. Breath in, breath out.
"Felix."
I lay still, feeling soreness beginning to creep into my muscles. A pair of warm arms wrap themselves underneath my body and I find myself being lifted off the ground. My eyes snap open to find Hook inches away from my face.
"Let's get you back to camp," he says softly. He starts walking and I find myself studying his features. The scruff on his face that he never seemed to be without, the way his hair falls over his forehead and the way his lips always seem to curve up. I catch myself in my thoughts and shudder. I must have been hit harder than I thought.
"You cold?" he asks.
"No." I reply with a huff. He looks down at me, and whatever he sees in my eyes makes him smile.
"Always nice to make an impression," he says with a deep chuckle that sends vibrations through my body.
Hello dear readers! If you read this, please leave a review. I'd love to hear what you all think. :) This is my first story on here, so let me know what you think! Love you all! Lots of love xx