Saying Goodbye
Walking over the recently cut lawn, Clint moves between the graves. Walking tall in his S.H.I.E.L.D. uniform. He knows where he's going, walking grimly. It seemed further when carried the tiny white coffin at the funeral. In the pristine rows, three tall tombstones and one small white one, are waiting patiently. They say almost audibly "Laura Barton, Callum Barton, Lewis Barton and Nicole Barton". He tries to catch his thoughts. There's tears, but no sound. He wants to stop, he knows they are watching. Since the Liberators defeat, Nick made sure he was never alone. "Suicide watch", they call it.
Hawkeye, Senior S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent and field commander on Suicide watch. But it's not suicide in his mind now. There is a far more important matter to attend to.
He feel the eyes of the S.H.I.E.L.D. security detail, watching his every move. Probably reporting and recording it. Sending it to some sub-basement in the Triskelion, for analysis.
Long ago, when he was a different man and would have smirked at the thought of tax dollars well spent. But that was ages ago and besides, there's nothing to laugh about now. He doesn't even try to fight back the tears, and after a few soundless tries, He starts to talk:
"I went home today, Laura, but it's only a house now. I had to pick up a few things...um...
It's Empty now, Angel... It's too Clean. Too Quiet...um...the...S.H.I.E.L.D.'s cleanup crew did their work well. You would've been happy with it...it looked normal...I almost expected to walk in and catch the boys watching TV instead of doin' homework. And kiss you in the kitchen while you're fixing dinner and you chewing on me for being late again...and Nicole smelling like a used nappy...and smilin' at her dad...mashed banana on her bib...I miss you, Angel...and miss you my boys...and my baby girl..."
"I brought you flowers, Angel...wild roses...your favourite...Before I met you, Laura, I was...I was a killer...cold and hollow. You believed I could be more. You made me worthwhile, made me human, made me good...Thank You...but I came to ask your forgiveness, My Angel. For what I am going to do" He takes his time and places flowers on the ground. He's ebbing between depression, sorrow and rage.
"...Pym, had some shitty story, sorry Ange..I forgot..no swearing...in front of the kids.., about trying to infiltrate them, he still is going to stand trial for treason and Romanov...Nick's got orders to keep her alive and they even fixed her mind. They should have left her catatonic...but the government says she's still of use. Tony even visited her . He says that she's his new addiction. Something fun that'll kill him. He's drinking almost constantly now...Jarvis was like a dad to him...and Steve and Janet are worried about him..."
"Nick thinks putting Romanov at Xavier's house will keep her safe from me...Angel, I hate her. I remember Romanov's eyes when she shot him...um..." He breaks down completely, kneeling before the granite blocks, that was once all he held dear.
"She killed and She enjoyed it...She enjoyed it...it was like a walking orgasm for her...nowhere is safe for her now..." His fist clenches around the rose stems lying on the ground and the thorns cut into his hand, the pain brings him back to the now.
"I guess I am doing my last goodbye call. They don't make phone calls to heaven, Angel. So here goes.
I'm gonna kill Romanov and Pym and whoever is unlucky enough to get in my way. If I fail, I die, but there's nothing here for me here anyway, and if I succeed they're dead. It's win-win.
So remember that I love you, My Angel...and Cal, Lewi and Nicci, daddy loves you, so listen to mom and boys watch your baby sister. Goodbye, Daddy has to go to work now..."