A/N: Ok, so please read and review, my first ever fic, (so proud of me! (not)) so please, CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is welcomed with open arms and any plot ideas are as well. Enjoy!
TitleThe Six Stages of Emptiness
Author: houseishot (and just to clarify, it's house is hot (That's right!, not housei shot... JESS! (a very very very very etc. annoying, small and silly person. (smaller than ellamista (that's small))))) and that was a lot of brackets. () lol!
Rating: T
Setting: Post Forever, before No Reason. Foreman is better, albeit slightly brain damaged and House hasn't been shot yet.
Acknowledgments: 3 and hugs to my bestest buddy beta, catapocalypsica, and my other buddy, ellamista. Also to axelchick 'cos although u may not realise, the perfect pair (and its endless amount of chapters) was what made me decide to write a fic... TA, 3 u guys:P
Disclaimer: House is mine (I WISH.. sigh, drool... hehehe... Did I just write that?!?), Cuddy is mine, House/Cuddy is mine, Chase is mine, Cam is mine, Foreman is mine, Jimmy is mine... WAKES UP! The only one that is actually mine is Millie. DON'T SUE! I'm just a poor person that loves (and is obsessed with) House...
Pairings: House/Cuddy and Cameron/Chase. THE ONLY GOOD ONES! No offence meant to any other shippers...!
B/N: Please don't say anything about the 3rd season or I will personally go and strangle you to death! Seriously. I live in Australia, peeps! Shakes fist and curses Channel Ten I hate what they did to the second season. Completely ruined it I tell you. Seriously. I'm sounding too much like a channel ten ad. Enjoy! (btw, that was catapocalypsica)
Chapter 1 - The First Stage
Wait for it... 3, 2, 1... House thought, cheekily
"HOUSE!" Cuddy's voice ringing out loud and clear, almost deafening to anyone. Except Gregory House. He was used to being told off by Cuddy. Actually, he found it quite entertaining.
"Perfectly punctual as always Cuddy. Someone should give you a medal for that." House smiled sweetly at the growing rage clearly showing on Cuddy's features.
"House, you think that this is a game? You think that the 3 highly skilled doctors following you around the place are there for your entertainment? That the clinic is mandatory for everyone but you? The clinic has gone haywire more than twice this week, patients have left because they had to wait hours for a doctor! Complaints have been coming in by the dozen! And they're all for you. Any guesses why?" Cuddy's voice was nearing dangerous and about to cross the border. "You know what? You're like a petulant child. And children need to be punished." Her voice changed tones like a mother changed diapers. "I want you in the clinic from 2-4 every day this week. And no but's." She took a deep breath and looked at House for a reply.
"Awww, but Muuuummm... I gotta go and ummmm..." House unsuccessfully retorted, finding he had nothing to do except reassure worried mummies that their poor widdle diddums didn't have epilepsy or cancer or something.
Well this sucks, House thought. Already read this weeks selection of tabloids from the gift shop, finished my new Nintendo DS game and Cuddy confiscated my iPod. This is going to be fun... Wait... Actually, I think it will be... House decided.
Cuddy glared at him some more, still expecting an answer. House stared back, wondering how long she could hold onto her temper in front of the whole hospital.
"Well, are you done ranting? Because if you are, it's time for lunch. Mind you, if you aren't, then it's still time for lunch and I'll just ignore you while you annoy me in the elevator."
"Be in the clinic. Two o'clock. If this clinic loses one more patient, so help me God, I will…" and left it at that. Cuddy stormed off, trying to calm herself down.
Darn it! Who was he gonna offload his clinic duty off to this week. He'd already done Cameron. Chase was most likely playing polo or chatting up a nurse and Foreman was probably working out how to make a cup of coffee. Now, who did that leave?
"Wilson!" House's voice travelled down the long hallways of the hospital, resonating their way to the intended target.
"What? No." Wilson shook his head. "You said last time was the last time."
"Aw, come on." whined House.
House begged for reprieve from the torture of clinic with Wilson's weak point - the puppy dog look.
"Don't give me that look! You know what, doing clinic duty for you is probably much easier than not doing it for you." Wilson said.
"Geez! You know Jimmy? I thought the boy-wonder oncologist would've had figured that out a while ago."
"You never fail to come up with the perfect comeback, do you?" Wilson asked his friend.
"Guess I'm just too perfect for you Jimmy." House smiled cheekily. He had never failed to prove himself right.
"Better be careful, because if your ego gets much bigger, you might explode!" Wilson exclaimed. He smiled as big as House, for he had found a comeback of his own (for once).
"How long 'id it take you to think of that one Jimmy? Do you have a couple of comebacks written down? Hey! Guess what? You're late for clinic duty!" He turned and walked away.
Wilson smiled and shook his head, walked away from his friend, down towards the prescribed torture, muttering under his breath.
Cameron walked into House's office, and immediately, upon seeing House and his empty coffee mug, walked over to the coffee machine and started making more, as was her usual habit.
"Where's the other two?" House asked Cameron, without acknowledging the fact that his favourite personal coffee maker had just placed a new coffee in his hand.
"Chase is in NICU and Cuddy told Foreman to take the rest of the week off to...'recover'." Cameron replied, not paying attention to the women's liberation issue unfolding right under her nose.
"Well, then. If Cuddy thinks she can get rid of the, albeit brain damaged, neurologist on my team then I have some yelling to do. Bye!" He stood up and started to walk towards the door.
House opened the door, and started to walk (sorry, limp) but was stopped in his tracks when he heard the clicking of high-heels and automatically matched it to a beautiful face and a power suit.
He turned around, with a big smile on his face, and came face to face with the woman of his dreams. Correctomundo! House thought. Go me!
"Wow Cuddy! Your timing, as usual, is amazing. Now, back to the point. What gave you the right to give my neurologist the rest of the week off? I'm sorry, brain damaged neurologist. Wow! A brain damaged neurologist. That wins this week's irony award."
"Are you listening to yourself House? Your BRAIN DAMAGED neurologist..." But she was cut off by a certain person's rude interruption.
"Brain damage that YOU gave him by not letting me do the autopsy on that cop!" House was losing his temper.
"Alright! You win! I'm feel like crap! Please House, just don't make me feel worse. Just... don't. Okay?" Cuddy felt guilty, and it was showing.
House ignored this and instead kept on going.
"Can I have my neurologist back? Pretty pleeeeeaaaase?" House whined and for good measure, he added the puppy dog eyes and stuck out his bottom lip.
"If you want him back, you call him..." And for the second time in her conversation, she was interrupted, although this time, it wasn't House.
"Call who?" Foreman's voice rang out loud and clear, making everyone in the ward turn their head.