Death, Love, Life

by Aloh Dark

DR slash. Ron can't cry for a life lost. Can love help him heal?

This is the reason the writing of EotA was put off for a week. I spent the last three days writing this. I hope you like it.

E-mail: mistressalohdark@hotmail.com

Aol SN: alohdarkyness

Disclaimer: HP doesn't belong to me. It belongs to the Great Goddess J.K.Rowling. I'm merely barrowing them for a little while. No money is being made off of this. For proof ask my cat. ..I don't have a cat.

Summary: Ron can't cry for lives lost. Can love help him heal?

Death, Love, Life By Aloh Dark

Ron and Ginny were followed McGonagall as they walked to Dumbledore's office. Sinking dread filled them both as they took each step closer. They knew instinctively that something had happened. Something that neither wanted to hear.

McGonagall was very somber as she led them past the gargoyle and onto the moving staircase. She left them after she knocked on his office door. They stood, not sure what to do, as they heard shuffling about and then the door opened.

"Mr. and Miss Weasley, please come in." Dumbledore said politely. "Please sit." He said, gesturing to empty chairs before his desk.

Ginny sat to Ron's right and shot his nervous glances. Ron tried not to let his nerves show for Ginny's sake.

"I'm sorry we have to meet on such a somber note." Dumbledore began as he sat across from them. "But I received this letter from your mother." He handed Ron a piece of tear-stained parchment.

He and Ginny read it and paled. It couldn't be true, what was in the letter. It just couldn't be true at all. Ron let Ginny steal the parchment from his fingers as he went numb inside. It absolutely couldn't be true.

But the anguished sobs being tore from Ginny's chest could be from nothing but grief. Ron quickly shut all thought from his mind but calming Ginny. He pulled her from her seat and into his. He held her as sobs racked her small body as she wept. He didn't know when Dumbledore had left, but when Ginny was finally calm enough to go back to the Tower, he was gone.

When they got back to the tower Ginny ran into her dorms, followed by the girls in her year after Ron told the confused girls to go to her. Harry and Hermione walked up to Ron and had him sit down by the fire.

"What happened?" Hermione asked anxiously.

Ron looked straight at her. He mumbled what happened but all they could make out was the word "died." They did manage to also get that his mum had sent Dumbledore a letter for them explaining what happened.

"Oh Ron." Hermione whispered as tears sprang to her eyes.

Ron just shook his head and refused her comfort and went to his dorm. Harry had to restrain Hermione from going after him, telling her that Ron needed to grieve alone.

When Ron reached his dorm, he walked straight to the bathroom and took a shower. The room was blessedly empty as he walked back in and changed for bed. He crawled beneath the sheets thinking he'd never be able to sleep again. Only, within moments after closing his eyes he was gone.

It was the middle of the night when he woke up with a ball of white hot rage burning in his chest. The violent rage fell over him as he scrambled out of bed. His dorm mates were abruptly woken up by Ron screaming and throwing things around the room.

It took them all a good few minutes to wrestle him to the ground and a seventh year cast a calming charm on him to get him to stop screaming. By that time the rest of the house had raced to try and see what had happened and McGonagall was coming through the portrait hole. They looked around the room and the havoc Ron managed to reek in the small time between start and finish. It looked like a storm had just finished blowing through. Through the whole thing Ron had never shed a tear.

They took Ron to the hospital wing and met with Dumbledore there. He refused to talk to anyone and quickly forced himself back to sleep when they laid him down on one of the beds rather than face questioning. Harry and Hermione stayed by his side through the night.

The next day he sat up in bed talking with them and Ginny. After Ginny left Ron begged them to leave him too. He wanted some time alone. It took them a while to be convinced to go, but they did go. At first Ron only stared about the room, feeling lost. Then he curled up on his side and stared at the wall hangings. He fell into a fitful sleep only to wake up in the middle of the night.

"I'm sorry for your lose." An unexpected voice said softly from beside him. Had it been any other day, Ron would've fought, as it was, he couldn't care less. Draco was sitting in the chair to Ron's back. Ron didn't have to see Draco to know it was him, he could tell by the voice alone. "I know it's no consolation but it's all I can say."

"Why are you here Malfoy?" Ron asked, his back still to the boy.

"I needed to know you were okay." Draco said.

"Why?' Ron asked suspiciously as he rolled over and looked at Draco. His breath caught as he noticed how stunning Draco really was. His blond hair was lose and hung to his ears, slightly messy. His blue eyes shone like ice chips in his face. His skin seemed to glow with an ethereal aura. He held all the beauty and mystery of a foggy, full mooned night.

Draco looked straight into Ron's eyes. He shrugged. "I was worried."

Ron didn't question after that. He didn't want to know any more answers as to why Draco would be worried or why that made him feel better.

Ron fell back asleep, still on his side facing Draco, in the early morning grey light. When he woke again Draco was gone and Harry was in his seat. For a while Ron wondered if he'd dreamed the whole thing or not.

Madam Pomfrey let him go to dinner with everyone in the great hall that night, but she didn't want him sleeping in his dorm again. She wanted to keep him under observation for one more night. After his quickly eaten meal, at which Draco was not present, Ron went back to the infirmary. He fell asleep after a while of laying around doing nothing. He woke up to staring into ice blue eyes.

"Hullo." Draco whispered. He looked the same as the day before, only more human, but still as enchantingly beautiful.

"Don't you sleep?" Ron asked softly as he yawned.

Draco half-smiled. "That's what I was doing before I snuck here."

Ron noticed the slight bags under Draco's eyes. "You look tired." He commented.

"I'll be okay." Draco said.

Ron moved over in his bed before he knew what he was doing. "Come on." He said. "Lay down and rest." Draco looked at Ron as if he'd grown three heads. "Just get in the bed." Draco hesitated a moment before slipping between the sheets. Draco lay on his back, his arms behind his head, as Ron lay on his side, facing Draco. "This is awkward." Draco commented.

"What do you wanna talk about?" Ron asked.

"I don't care." Draco said. "Talk to me about anything and everything."

After that they spent the night in quiet, hushed conversations. Ron barely noticed through sleep hazed mind when Draco got out of the bed and left, reds and oranges from dawn staining his hair.

Ron woke a few hours after that and was told he could leave as soon as he was ready to. By the time lunch rolled around, Ron was ready to go down to the great hall for a meal. He sat with Harry, Hermione, and Ginny. Ginny was at his left and they sat very close. Ginny was handling everything as well as could be expected. It was difficult for her to accept but she knew that she had to keep going with her life. It was the best thing for her and for everyone else to do. Harry and Hermione were watching the siblings closely for any signs of an emotional outburst but neither had any that meal. And even though neither ate much, Hermione for once didn't scold.

Ron and Ginny were excused from classes that week but were expected to make up any missed work. Ron spent most of the week finishing homework's and doing things he wanted to do but never had the time.

When he started classes again he was almost glad for the distraction. He threw himself into his work like none but Hermione could do but he gradually fell back into his old self. Something was missing from him, but he was as close to back to normal he could get.

Through the month Draco and Ron had became closer, secretly. Draco had anonymously sent Ginny's favorite flowers to her in condolences. That something that had changed and had been building between them for the past year or two had finally started to manifest itself in them completely.

Draco had stopped insulting Ron and was near civil to Hermione and Harry. Something that brought many raised eyebrows when it was first noticed. It was noticed that somehow, in some small little way, Draco had changed with Ron.

It was a Hogsmeade weekend in the Spring, the first of the year, when Ron finally felt like himself again. He was out in the town with his friends and they were going to go shopping for sweets. His sister was with her friends and her boyfriend from Ravenclaw. He felt like he was nearly normal again.

When they entered Honeydukes, his chest began to feel tight but he ignored it. He followed his friends, feeling more and more uneasy. They picked out sweats and went got in line to pay. It was there, being surrounded by so many people, talking and jostling him, that the feeling in his chest intensified. The heat of the store began to overwhelm him and he started struggling to breath. Panic and fear rose in his chest and he only knew that he had to get out, now.

"Ron? Are you okay?" Hermione asked worriedly. Ron was hyperventilating and his pupils were wide.

"I can't.. breath.." He panted, grabbing his chest with an empty hand.

Before either Harry or Hermione had time react Draco had pushed the things in Ron's hands into Harry's and dragged the boy from the shop. Hermione and Harry exchanged shocked glances before quickly shoving their items onto the shelves and hurrying outside. They found Ron sitting on a bench along the building, his head between his knees. Draco was rubbing a soothing hand onto his back and telling Ron to breath deeply and slowly.

"Ron?" Hermione rushed to her friends side and sat down next to him. She spared Draco no more than a cursory glance before turning her attention back to Ron.

Harry, however, hesitated and glared at Draco. "What did you do to him Malfoy?" He demanded.

"I saved him!" Draco replied indignantly. "He was about to pass out! Not that you noticed, or anything."

"Draco," Ron asked in a breathy, pleading tone.

Draco looked at Ron and then back at Harry. He glared for only a moment before turning his attention back to Ron's well bring.

"Ron, what happened?' Hermione asked.

"I.." Ron started. His eyes were wide and stared through things. "I.."

"He was having a panic attack." Draco supplied for Ron. Ron nodded his agreement.

"But we were only in Honeydukes." Harry said, confused.

Draco sneered at Harry but held his tongue.

"It was-" Ron started but Draco cut him off.

"Wait till you get your wind back." He ordered.

Ron couldn't reply as coughs raked his body. After he was finished he sat up and rested his head against the building behind him. He stayed like that for a few minutes before he opened his eyes back up. "Sorry." He muttered.

"For what?" Harry asked.

"Making you worry. I didn't mean it." Ron said as he got up.

"Ron, I don't think you should." Draco said.

Ron waved his wrist and started to walk, only to see everything go yellow before the line of his sight shrunk. Draco reached out his arms and caught the boy before he passed out in the street.

He cradled the tall boy in surprisingly strong arms and carried him back to the bench. He sat him down and held his head in his hands. He slapped Ron's cheeks lightly a few times until he saw Ron's eyelids twitch. When they finally opened Ron was staring at Draco dumbly.

"Yeah, sure. You're really okay there Weasley. Just stand up and pass out why don't you." Draco said in a soft, concerned growl.

"Wait." Ron said, trying to figure out how he got from standing up in the street to sitting on the bench. "What?"

"You passed out Ron." Hermione said from behind him. Ron tried to look at her but Draco still held his cheeks. Draco self-consciously let go of Ron so he could turn. When Ron turned to look back, Draco was gone.

"What was all of that?" Harry asked when they got back to the castle.

"What was what?" Ron asked.

"With Malfoy?" Hermione clarified.

"Malfoy?" Ron asked.

"Yes! What was with you and Malfoy?!" Harry asked, agitated.

"He was just being nice I guess." Ron said with a shrug.

"Malfoy? Be nice? To you?" Harry asked. "The world hasn't ended, has it?" He asked Hermione.

Hermione rolled her eyes at Harry. "Why would he be nice to you?"

Ron just shrugged. He didn't tell them about the growing ache in his heart when he was with Draco. Or the stirring in his stomach when he thought of the blond boy. He didn't want any of them to know.

The next day Hermione and Harry were extra careful to watch Draco whenever he was around. But nothing came of it. Draco acted like they didn't even exist. Although a few times they thought they saw Draco looking at Ron. And through they're observation of Draco, they completely missed Ron staring at him from time to time.

Ron was out by the lake, alone, past curfew a week later. He was staring out at the stars and the glittering lights of Hogsmeade far below him.

"Aren't you out a little late." Draco said, coming up behind Ron. "And here I thought that Griffendors were sticklers for rules."

"That broke with the twins." Ron told him.

"So it did." Draco muttered as he sat down next to Ron.

"Your robes'll get muddy and wet." Ron said. They hadn't looked at each other yet.

"No, they're charmed." Draco said with slight shrug.

They sat next to each other, looking out over the lake. "Ron." Draco whispered softly. Draco turned his head so that he was looking at the other boy.

"Yeah?" Ron turned his head and asked Draco, just as softly.

"I.." He never finished his sentence. He was too busy gently kissing Ron's lips.

After a moment of hesitation, Ron began to kiss Draco back. Draco pulled Ron close with his arms and deepened the kiss. Ron twisted one hand into the baby soft hair at the back of Draco's neck and pulled his head back so they could kiss deeper.

Draco slid his tongue over Ron's bottom lip, asking permission. When Ron opened his lips, Draco tongue darted in. Ron felt Draco's warm tongue running against his own, trying to learn all the contours of his mouth. When they finally pulled back to breath, they rested their foreheads against each other.

"What does-" Ron started but Draco cut him off.

Draco grabbed Ron's hand as he pulled away. He kissed the back and smiled at Ron. "I love you." He said softly, staring straight into Ron's eyes. "I don't know why, or how. I just know that I love you." Ron opened his mouth to say something but Draco shook his head no. "Please don't say anything right now. Just know that."

Draco leaned in and kissed Ron again. Just a gentle, chaste kiss that held all his love in it. After that he smiled at Ron and got up.

Ron watched Draco walk away, with one hand to his lips. Suddenly everything made sense and nothing at all was clear. After a while, Ron got up and walked back to the school. Everyone in his dorm was already asleep, something for which he was glad. He didn't know if he could explain to them where he'd been.

"She likes you, you know." Harry whispered into Ron's ear as he pointed to a blue eyed blond in Hufflepuff. It'd been a week and Ron hadn't seen Draco for more than a few fleeting seconds or during class since.

The blond Harry was pointing to just served to remind Ron of Draco. But it was only in looks because he knew she was completely the opposite in attitude.

Ron just shrugged. "She's allowed to like."

"I thought you liked her too." Harry said back, confused.

Ron reddened. "There's someone.. else.. that I have my eye on." He said. It was only a half lie. Draco was someone else and he did have his eye, and heart, on him. Harry need not know that it was Draco that Ron wanted, at least not yet.

"Who?" Harry asked.

"I'll tell you later." Ron whispered back hurriedly.

Harry got the point and let the conversation drop until that afternoon in the common room. He even managed to drag Hermione into the conversation so Ron would be pressured by two people.

"Who is it you like?" Hermione asked after Harry poked her.

"It's not important." Ron insisted.

"Yes it is! It explains the way you've been acting love sick for the past few weeks!" Harry insisted.

"I have not been acting love sick!" Ron said, defending himself.

"Actually, Ron, I have to agree with Harry. You have been." Hermione agreed.

"Just tell us who she is." Harry pressed. "At least tell us the year she's in and which house."

"It's not a she." Ron bit out raggedly.

That made Harry and Hermione pause. He'd never mentioned to them the other side of his sexuality.

"But you like girls." Harry insisted, confused.

"I like boys and girls, Harry." Ron whispered.

"You're bisexual?" Hermione asked. They still, luckily, had the presence of mind to keep their conversation whispered.

"Yes. But it doesn't matter because I've not been acting love-" Ron broke off and looked past their heads. His brows knitted together as realization dawned on him. "I have to go."

Ron found Draco in the library. With a look around to make sure they were alone, Ron walked up to Draco.

"Ron-" Draco started.

Ron placed his hands on the back of Draco's neck and kissed him deeply. It was passionate, it was hard, it was fast and it stole the strength from Draco's knees.

"I love you." Ron whispered urgently as he let go of Draco. "It just hit me, what a fool I've been. I love you."

"Bout time." Draco growled, trying to sound haughty. Ron just leaned forward and kissed him again.

"Let's go someplace quiet." Ron suggested.

"Meet me by the greenhouses in a half hour." Draco said. Ron nodded and left Draco to pack his things up.

Ron went back to the Tower and grabbed his cloak.

"Ron, where are you going?" Harry asked. He was laying on his bed in their dorm. Hermione was sitting next to him and their homework was spread out over the bed. They were the only people in the room.

"I'm going out." Ron said.

"Where?" Hermione asked. "It's raining."

"I know. I'm just going out." Ron said.

"With who?" Harry asked. He sounded slightly hurt. "The man you ran to when you left here."

Ron stopped with a sigh. "Listen. I'm going to tell you this once. I am a love sick fool."

"With who?" Hermione asked. She almost didn't want to know the answer. She already had a suspicion and she didn't like it.

"Draco Malfoy."

"What?!" Harry yelled. "With *him*!!!"

"I love him." Was Ron's only explanation.

Harry glared at him in rage. He just screwed up his face as if he was going to yell but never did. "Then go." He said acidicly.

Ron didn't bother to hang around any longer. Hermione was in shock and Harry was furious. He walked to the garden thinking of all the worst possible scenarios.

Ron sat on the bench, staring at the trees on the fringe of the Forbidden forest. There was a light rain, more of a mist, that was dampening his cloths. The tell-tale squish of wet grass sounded from behind him, but he didn't need to turn. They came around the bench and sat next to him.

"So this is how it is?" Draco asked softly.

Ron didn't look at the blond boy beside him, even though he could feel the eyes tearing into him.

"Yeah." Ron said back, barely above a whisper. "This is how it is."

Draco leaned back and stared up at the sky, the misting rain stinging his eyes from time to time. Neither wanted to say anything and didn't feel compelled to break the silence.

"What a fucked mess we've been dragged through." Draco commented. Why they were still using hushed tones none of the knew, but it seemed to fit the atmosphere.

Ron looked down at the grass between his feet. "We don't have to you know." Ron said, doubting everything.

Draco didn't look at Ron. He didn't seem to move at all. But Ron instinctively turned his palm over and twined his fingers with Draco's. They stayed silent, holding each others hand. Words weren't necessary, even if they had been able to think of anything to say.

"Don't expect me to be seen with you in public." Draco said.

"I never did." Ron replied, unconsciously tightening his grip on Draco's hand.

Draco looked at Ron. His hair was a dark red from the rain drops. His head was hung and he seemed to be crawling into himself. Only his hand was slowly tightening his grip on Draco's. Draco watched as Ron's shoulders began to shake slightly. He heard Ron's breath hitch and saw him shiver.

"For fuck's sake!" Draco bit out harshly. "Cry!"

"Dra-" Ron started but couldn't finish. His voice broke mid-sentence and he looked up at Draco miserably.

Draco pulled Ron into a tight embrace and Ron began to sob into Draco's chest. Draco ran a hand up and down Ron's back as the other cupped his head to his shoulder. He made small soothing sounds as Ron cried his heart out into his chest. Draco rested his chin atop Ron's head and stared sightlessly out at the tree line.

Draco let Ron cry for as long as he needed. He held the red head long after the shaking had stopped, still stroking his back. He gave comfort to Ron as best he could and let the boy lean on him for support, if only for a little while.

"Have you ever lost someone close?" Ron asked in a baby soft whisper.

"Yes." Draco said. "I have."

"Who?" Ron asked.

Draco didn't want to speak of it. He'd never told anyone this but he wanted Ron to know. It might help Ron to talk to him, if not now, but in the long run.

"My mother." Draco said, softly.

Ron shook his head in Draco's chest. "She's not dead."

"She might as well be." Draco told him.

Ron didn't say anything more and after a while, Draco continued.

"When I was growing up my mother was nothing like she is now." Draco told him. "She was kind, and she was loving. She loved life and me and she was the perfect mother. She was beautiful from the inside out. She loved the plant and tend her gardens, and she'd have me help her. I complained, of course, but I loved being with her. She would tell me fantastic stories about everything. Most of which were about her childhood in Italy." Draco smiled in the memory of long ago tales. "But she wanted another child terribly. She loved me with her whole being, but she needed another child." Draco paused and looked up at the sky.

Ron squirmed against him, getting a more comfortable position. He didn't speak as he waited for Draco to continue with his story. He let Draco have his time to collect his thoughts.

"My father didn't want another kid." Draco started again. "He never wanted any children. I was only born because he needed an heir. Something he liked to remind me of when he was mad at me. Mother and him fought constantly because of things like that. Their marriage was arranged for them. They tried to make it work in the beginning but after I was born, just gave up and led their own lives. I think they really hate each other." Draco told him. "And when Mother told my father she wanted another child, the fights when from bad to worse." Draco held Ron tighter, glad for the support he could get from the silent boy. "When I was ten my mother became pregnant. The child was not my fathers. My mother refused to tell him who the father was. He ended up spending her pregnancy in another manor. But I watched as my mother grew happier as her belly grew. I couldn't wait for my new sibling to come. My mother was the happiest I ever saw her those months. She glowed." Draco felt his through close up as he recalled what happened next. He wasn't supposed to know this but he did. No one else knew what he knew, and now he wasn't sure if he could tell.

"You don't have to go on if you don't want." Ron told him, holding him tight.

"No, I need to." Draco said and hardened his resolve. "My father came back when my mother went into labor. He was frantic with worry when she reached her twelfth hour of giving birth. It took her over a day to give birth to a baby girl. It completely exhausted her." Draco was whispering. "I managed to sneak in and was by her side when the kid came out. Mother was exhausted but she looked radiate. Introduced my to my new sister when she got her back. After they put the baby to bed she fell asleep. My father had the baby killed. They told my mother the child had died in her sleep but I think she knew better. And with the baby, she died." Draco looked at Ron without really seeing him. "She turned into who she is now after that. I didn't find that out though until I came home for break my first year. Now her gardens lay in neglect and she's.. She's a living shell. Her heart is gone." Draco said. "So, she may still be alive, but she's as good as dead."

Ron was silent for a few minutes before saying softly; "I never knew."

"No one did. My father made sure that no one outside the manor knew."

Ron squirmed and sat up. He cuddled next to Draco and rested his head on his shoulder. Draco put his arm around his shoulders and held him tight. They hands found their way to each other and grasped.

"I hated Percy." Ron whispered softly. "And I loved him despite everything."

Draco just held Ron, knowing that was the most he was going to get out of Ron right now.