A/N: Thank you to LostArt for the review on Listen, Don't Think and everyone who has been reading. LostArt, your reviews are so detailed and insightful. I am flattered you read my stories and took the time to write reviews. It's refreshing to read, appreciated and always welcome. The script you referenced is numbered Episode 104 House of the Rising Sun (Episode 106 in the series due to the Pilot being 2 parts.) I love that you read it too! It has a lot of gems and at least two parallel stories. ;)
Disclaimer: Lost is owned by ABC Television and was created by Jeffrey Lieber, J. J. Abrams and Damon Lindelof. I don't own it but I love it.
"The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them." -Ralph G. Nichols
Jack and Kate came out of the jungle with Jack leading the way on the way. They were headed back to the beach with full water bottles. They entered a grassy field and came across Sayid, drenched spent in the heat. He diligently chopped wood, adding to the pile for a signal fire. He welcomed the site of his friends and the packs their carried.
"It's about time." He stopped what he was doing and met them. "I am dying of thirst." Jack handed Sayid a water. The three sat on to take a break and rehydrate. Kate sat on her heavy, blue duffel bag, silent, as she had been for a while. Sayid opened the bottle and drank, briefing them on the morning conflict.
Kate listened with interest, then shock at the drama that unfolded in their absence. Jin attacked Michael violently with no apparent cause and tried to drown him in the shallow surf. He was handcuffed to the landing gear by Sawyer and Sayid to control and secure him.
"I think I'll let him sit in the sun a while longer. Then I'll take his wife aside…" he smiled at the next part, "find some way to communicate." He grew serious and Jack nodded while listening, concern in his face. "I think she knows why he attacked Michael."
Jack looked at Sayid. His question elicited a slight look of mild surprise. "You're sure you don't want me to talk to her?" Sayid gave a small nod and a look. Kate sipped her water again, watching both of them. Jack backed off of the situation with the look Sayid gave. He was obviously confident in his abilities.
"Okay. If you've got that under control I'm going to start talking to people about the caves. Might be able to get a few to go with me before nightfall, start setting up camp." Jack looked up at the sky as he spoke, measuring the amount of daylight that might be left, nodding at his own idea. When Jack started to speak, Sayid looked up with slight confusion at what Jack was saying, catching Kate's subtle frown at Jack.
Sayid stared at Jack, displeased. "You're serious? Is there a reason you didn't consult us when you decided to form your own civilization?"
"I'm only talking about moving into the valley." Jack gazed at Sayid, gesturing towards the caves.
Kate didn't participate. Even if the idea was good, Jack didn't talk to the rest of the group leaders to get feedback, try to get them on board before deciding this was the plan. It didn't work on her. It wasn't working so far on Sayid. It was so rushed. She could see where this might go. It would split the camp.
"Well, what happened to live together, die alone?" Sayid shook his head, repeating Jack's mantra given during a speech two nights prior to calm the group.
"Digging in together is the only way we're going to survive." Jack began to argue his point emphatically.
Sayid disagreed, raising his voice in frustration as he talked. "Our best hope of survival is in being spotted by a plane or a ship, and for that we need to organize everyone to keep that signal fire burning while others scout the island for supplies. Digging in anywhere else is suicide!"
Sayid glanced at Kate, who watched the exchange, but hadn't spoken until now. She made a statement that was true, but only for Jack's benefit. She didn't want to disappoint him, a new feeling for her. It didn't mean she was on board. "It is the only source of fresh water we've found, Sayid." So far, she thought.
"And staying on the beach, in the sun without water? That's not suicide?" Jack asked. Sayid stood and prepared to resume work. Jack's statement had logic, but it didn't sway him.
Sayid grabbed a pile of cut firewood and the axe in anger. "I'm not going to admit defeat." He turned and walked away quickly. Kate watched him go, same as Jack.
Kate looked at Jack as Jack watched Sayid walk away. Jack didn't look at her, only looked at the sky again, obviously unhappy at the response. She didn't want to go to the caves either but wasn't going to help argue a cause she personally couldn't support. Jack didn't acknowledge her silence or notice her look. His had made up his mind that this was the best choice. The beach was their next stop.
Kate arrived at the beach with Jack and distributed the water. She watched as he talked to small groups and individuals as he made his way across the camp, working to make them converts, new cave dwellers.
She also noticed Sayid speaking to people including Michael who shook his head. So, there were at least three others including Walt and Vincent staying there with her.
She felt disappointed after the long hike and haul. She sat on the beach, looking at the ocean, unwilling to leave. The sea was near hitting her toes. It was a perfect moment to think but she heard a familiar voice that wrecked her train of thought.
"Well, well, well. If it ain't the Belle of the Ball." Sawyer stood in between her and the ocean, forcing her to look up. Kate gave him a 'go to hell' look, meaning it. She didn't need to be rubbed the wrong way. She wanted some peace and quiet after hearing about the cave benefits all afternoon and to sort out her feelings.
"So what's it like having the Doctor and Cap'n Falafel fight over you?" Sawyer took off his sunglasses but his dropped the witty demeanor, seeing her mood. She tried not to smile. She pushed a few stray curls that kept blowing in her face and shaded the left side of it to see him and hold them back.
Sawyer smiled at her, using his charm and showing his dimples. She could talk to Sawyer, understand him even, but it was different than her interactions with Jack. For God's sake, she thought, she and Jack had dimples too, but they didn't flash them to everyone when they wanted something. She remained silent though, her face serious again.
"Just calling'em how I see'em, Freckles."
He squatted down to her level, still blocking her view, his demeanor serious, starting to match hers. "Truth be told, I'm not the only person wondering where you're going to weigh in on this whole 'moving off the beach' thing. Are you goin' with the pessimists, or stayin' here waitin' for the rescue boats?"
She gave him a small frown. "Are you going?"
"Well that's the real trick, isn't it?" She listened to him as he continued. He looked up towards the entrance to the jungle she had taken that morning with the small group. "We all pack up stakes for the caves," He looked up, "next day a plane passes by," he looked back at her "they're going to go on their merry way being none the wiser." She closed her eyes, not liking the thought. "On the other hand, we can stay here, be eaten by boars, fall off a rock." He played with his sunglasses and looked at her, "Ain't gonna be anyone around to answer that 911 call." He obviously was referring to Jack.
Kate wondered what his angle was. "You still haven't answered my question."
"You didn't answer mine." He responded with the charming smile he started with. "And I asked first." She sat and said nothing, stone-faced. Sawyer stood and put his glasses on. "Sayonara, Sugarpop."
Jack and Sayid were running opposite campaigns across the beach, but here was Sawyer, standing only in front of her and now headed to his tent. She frowned a bit, watching him. They were wondering where she would weigh in? "They" or him?
Jack wanted her to go and was busy speaking to everyone. Did he think she was on board? Did everyone expect her to just go with him? She didn't share his enthusiasm or pretend to, but she listened and understood his side.
They had a lot of time to discuss it but he was too busy going on about the merits, not picking up on her disinterest and or sensing her increasing withdrawal as she grew quieter on the walk.
She wasn't one to share. She knew that was part of the problem, but there was a real connection between them. She might have told him if he took time to talk when they were alone and if he was really interested. She might have opened that internal door a crack to let him find out, but felt it slam shut inside of her by the time they reached the beach. It's not something she'd discuss around other people.
Her aversion to the moving in the caves and being shoe-horned in so quickly had nothing to do with the signal fires on the beach or living near gummy-looking corpses by the water source.
Kate heard Jack's approach in the sand. She hadn't moved the entire time while everyone who was preparing to go to the valley packed. They were mostly done and waiting. She sat, staring at the waves. Jack's step sounded weary. She already knew, they both did, what her decision was.
Jack squatted closely beside her, looking at her face. Normally she would have enjoyed the closeness. Now she sat like a statue with a far-away look.
Jack reminded her anyways, maybe with a sliver of optimism, but knew she had nothing packed. "Hey. Almost time to go."
Kate didn't make eye contact with him. She hated disappointing Jack. It was the last thing she wanted to do. She really cared, but she had no choice. She shook her head slightly, not turning. "I don't want to be Eve." She referred to the corpses, the ones that Locke had called their own "Adam and Eve." It was symbolic of something much deeper that bothered her.
Jack looked at her face, the side with the scratches from the boar. She didn't mind though. He laughed a little at her comment and spoke softly to her. "No one's asking you to."
Kate's face was set, but behind it, she was unhappy. Somewhere inside of her she wished that he would ask her, talk with her the way they had talked before today. But the small part of her wanting to please him wasn't the one controlling her actions. "I just can't…" She turned to him, looking in his eyes with emotion behind her voice and her eyes, "dig in." Resistance, fear, revulsion, anxiety, sorrow, trapped, hopeless. It was all there below the surface.
"Why not?" He asked, then went on not waiting for her answer, not listening or seeing still. "Someone else can stay here, wait for rescue, why does it have to be you?"
She turned to look out again, her face still carrying a trace of the emotions. "That's not it." She shook her head.
Jack straightened up a bit. He looked around and then sighed. He sounded exasperated. She refused to look at him, holding back her feelings. Jack wanted to go. She knew he had a needed to understand everything, but at the 11th hour?
"Kate, how did you get to be this way?" He asked. He no longer leaned in and for once, she couldn't detect the feeling behind his words. She didn't look at him to see his eyes. Was he being clinical or was he just frustrated and ready to leave? Or all of the above? "Just what is it that you did?"
That flushed down her sorrow temporarily. She felt a flash of anger. Seriously? He said he didn't want to know when she offered days ago.
He said "we should all be able to start over." He was way off track. It had nothing to do with what she did or was accused of doing. Why ask that now?
People were waiting for him to lead them back. She answered in a final tone. "You had your chance to know."
She saw out of the corner of her eye as he stood to leave, sounding exasperated but didn't raise his voice. "If you need me, you know where to find me."
She sat, resolute, a bit choked up again. He was already gone. "You know where to find me too." She sat alone watching the waves and whitecaps roll in, missing him already. She was guessing he would miss her at some point. Or would he?
That night, a large signal fire burned, thanks to Sayid's efforts. The remaining beach camp had dwindled down to about a dozen or so people who were scattered around the large fire. Some had gone to bed already. It was quiet.
Kate sat close to Sayid, tears in her eyes. She wasn't a person that cried. The island was screwing her up. She trained herself not to cry, to be hard over the years, but struggled to keep them down again as they filled her eyes. She knew Sayid wouldn't judge or make fun of her. He just accepted her mood and probably already knew why. He was very intuitive. She didn't need a hug or soothing. She just needed proximity of a friend. She felt lonely.
The beach campfires, usually scattered, near the shelters were out, including the one she and Jack shared. A few tears escaped. There were only one pair of arms she would accept right now and they were miles away by choice.
Jack and Kate had that long hike that day. The morning started out so well, even the beginning of the hike back was nice. That took a few hours. After he began to talk non-stop about living in the caves and benefits, deciding it was best for everyone, she wanted to tell him things she never discussed, things she had walled up inside of her. But when he paused or asked something, it wasn't how she felt about it. He was asking for validation.
She could only show her reluctance with her answers, her tone. He had a one-track mind today, didn't listen for once, never asked why she was uncomfortable.
He never picked up on her need to distance herself, or the eventual silence something she couldn't help. His words amped up her resistance and a feeling of fear. It was to protect herself and keep those kinds of feelings locked up inside of her.
He might have noticed if she starting to edge her way to a cliff and stand on the end. That's how it made her feel inside and why she couldn't speak, like her words would break off the ledge under her feet.
She was opposed to it starting in the caves where he first brought it up.
He didn't start questioning her until the last minute before the group left when there was no time to listen, hours later.
Even then, it was the wrong question.