Sunshine in a Bag

by Darlin

-xox-

Logan was humming as he shoved a cowboy hat on his head. He strode out of his house, then, in one bound he jumped down the three steps off the porch. The very same porch where every time he left and every time he returned he made Ororo, if she was there, stand on the sidewalk at the bottom of the steps as he stood on the top step so he was a little taller than her and he pulled her close, as close as he could because he'd never grown tired of feeling her soft but firm breast against his chest or the feel or her soft but firm bum cupped in his hands as he kissed his wife goodbye and hello. Ororo was gone now so he hopped on his Harley, swiped the kickstand up with his boot, patted a saddle bag that he had strapped to his chest, turned the key, hit the throttle and took off. He didn't notice when his hat flew off.

Logan was still grinning as he rode down the road. He rode without care, the wind fairly punching him in the face but he didn't mind the occasional bug splatting to its doom on his adamantium laced face. Now Ororo would have cared. He grinned at that thought.

"You alright, darlin'?" he said. "Oh, forgot," he said and laughed.

-xox-

"I told my wife we was gonna see the world," Logan told a cashier at a gas station as he dug out his wallet to pay for gas. "She likes traveling."

"Sounds real nice," the woman said with a nod and a grin.

"Yeah, it'll be real nice. She's my sunshine."

"That's so sweet."

And as the lady watched a whistling Logan in his tight jeans and cocky strut as he headed out to his bike, she envied Ororo for a moment.

"Lucky girl," she murmured and Logan, who couldn't help catching her comment with his keen hearing, grinned. But he knew he was the lucky one.

-xox-

Back on his bike, grinning again, he shouted over the wind, "I got ya a surprise, darlin', wait'll you see it! And we're gonna have fun, darlin', gonna do all the things we planned, all the things I promised ya."

The wind made him squint a bit but he was still grinning, as happy as could be.

"Gonna keep you close, Ro darlin', just you an' me."

-xox-

Logan was still grinning as his short, muscular legs took the steps to the school two at a time. And he was singing.

"Hey, Wolvie! Where've you been all this time!" Jubilee pounced upon him when she saw him.

Logan let her hug him and he gave her a smile so big and wide it made her so happy she almost couldn't bare it. He'd been gone for so long! And even though she didn't understand what was going on he at least was back!

"So, um, hey, Logan! Um . . . . you look . . ." Jubilee started when he let her go but her voice trailed off as she looked at him.

"Happy, he look happy. 'S up, homme?" Remy said sourly. He'd just been about to give Jubilee a ride into town and was as surprised as she was to see Logan there, and especially looking the way he did.

"How are you?" Jubilee asked. "We were worried about you when you didn't come back."

"Need somethin'. Ro an' me are goin' somewhere special," he said.

"Huh?"

"Ro and you? You mean as in you an' Stormy?" Remy balked.

"Uh, yeah, Ororo an' me. Now if ya don't mind I'm gonna get something outta my room," he said, shoving past them.

Jubes and Remy looked at each other and their look of abject horror was reflected back at them.

"So, you an' Stormy, huh?" Remy said, tagging after Logan.

"But Storm's dead, Logan!" Jubilee said as she hurried after them.

"Uh, you know Jubilee's right don't ya, Logan?"

Logan kept walking down the hall without comment.

"You feelin' alright, homme?"

"We got a lot of places ta see, lot of things ta do," Logan finally muttered as he opened the door to his old room.

"But . . . . she's dead!" Jubilee said again.

Logan grinned as he lifted the saddle bag strap over his head and placed it gently on his bed.

"What's in the bag?" Jubilee asked.

"Gonna keep all my promises, darlin'," Logan said and they both felt as if he weren't talking to himself but not to them either. "Gonna go everywhere I told ya I'd take ya, see everything you wanted ta see. An' wait till ya see what I kept over the years, darlin'," he continued as he pulled out a white box, about six by six, from the bag.

Jubilee peered over his shoulder and read the label on the box as he very carefully opened it and then, to their confusion, reverently held up a tied up plastic bag.

"So, um, what's that supposed ta be? Please tell me it's what you've been smoking!" Jubilee said with an uneasy laugh.

"It's Ro!" Logan said with the biggest smile of elation.

"What?" Jubilee exclaimed even though she'd just read the name Ororo Howlett on the label seconds ago.

"In . . . in . . . de . . . bag?" questioned Remy.

Jubilee took a step back when Logan nodded and grinned.

"So, dat why yo' sorry ass didn't have a proper funeral after she be cremated an' we had ta have a memorial service here at de school wit'out no Stormy? An' no you?"

"I just couldn't let her go when they gave her back to me. She's . . . she's always with me now," Logan said solemnly as he placed the plastic bag of Ororo's ashes back in the box.

"That's deep," Remy said, his anger suddenly gone.

They were all quiet then. No one even moved. Remembering the woman they all loved.

"Uh," Remy kind of grunted after a bit when Logan finally moved to close the box. He reached out and stayed Logan's hand. "Do you . . . do you think maybe I could – I know it's probably too much ta ask an' all but maybe could I have a little bit of her. I mean just a little as a memorial, a way ta remember Stormy?"

"Okay guys, I guess the sentiment is sweet an' all but, like, seriously, dudes! This is just too creepy! And why didn't you get a decent urn or something instead of just carrying Storm around in a dingy ol' box and a freakin' plastic bag? Like, just eww, Wolvie!" Jubilee said and out the door she ran.

"Don't mind her, homme, she still dealin' wit', well, you know. So, um, so . . . would you mind sharin' a little, old man?"

"Hell no!" Logan said with a laugh.

"Uh, hell no as in no way, huh?"

"Hell no as in hell no I ain't gonna mind! Ro was everything good in the world, my sunshine even on a cloudy day! She'd want me ta share that sunshine! Don't know why but she loved ya like a brother. Yeah, get somethin' ta put a bit of her in, Gambit."

"Uh . . . uh . . . okay," Remy said but before he could decide what to do, what to get, Logan spied a decorative box Ororo had given him once.

"This is what I came for, it'll be perfect," Logan said as he grabbed it off a dresser. He put it on the bed beside the box that held the plastic bag of Ororo Howlett's remains.

Remy thought the box he'd retrieved looked just like what he'd expect Ororo to give Logan, simple but beautifully designed too. He watched Logan open it then take out a stack of small bits of yellow and purple and blue and pink and green papers, then carefully place them on the bed before he opened the plastic bag in the white box.

"What're dese?" Remy asked as he caught sight of a heart drawn on the pink sticky note on the top. It had an arrow drawn through it.

"Love notes Roro gave me before we got hitched. She'd put 'em up on my mirror and on my bike an' stuff," Logan said. "Kinda kid's stuff I guess but . . ."

"Remy know de feelin' – when you in love, really in love . . ." Remy's voice squeaked a little and he didn't say more.

Grinning as if he were the happiest man on earth, Logan reached into the plastic bag and cupped a handful of beloved bones and ashes – Ororo. He gently placed the handful into the emptied box. Remy kind of wondered what Logan would do with his hand then but all Logan did was close the box so that particles of Ororo sunk into the crevices of the intricate design on the lid and covered it while other bits slowly descended onto the bedspread. He then tied up the plastic bag, put it very carefully back into the square box which he put back into his saddle bag. But before he strapped the bag across his body again, next to his heart, he turned and gathered up Ororo's love notes and put them in the saddle bag too.

"It's what I came for," he admitted a little sheepishly this time.

But Remy didn't hear. He was holding the box that contained his best friend, or at least a bit of her. Her beautiful white hair, her lovely brown skin, her blue eyes, everything that was Ororo was there in the box that he held. His eyes watered a little and he knew if he spoke his voice would break again because he was so choked up his throat ached. Oh, how he missed his beloved best friend!

Logan, grinning as if he were having the time of his life and doing a little two step sort of waltz to the door, was singing now.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know, dear how much I love you, no one will ever take my sunshine away . . ." he sang joyfully even as his voice falter here and there. And despite the joy his deep voice was laced with pain.

And something within Remy almost broke. He knew then that Logan was broken. But he also knew that Logan needed to do this, that he needed time to deal with his loss in whatever way he had to. So, if this was helping him, carrying Ororo around in a bag, talking to her, going to places he'd promised he'd take her, then more power to him. Maybe the guy was a little crazy because he'd loved Ororo so much and had lost her too soon, maybe he'd always be a little crazy from now on, but Remy understood and one day he figured Jubilee would too. They all would if they were ever blessed enough to have loved that deeply. He cradled the box of Ororo, his Stormy, and though his lips trembled and his voice was barely audible, he whispered in true happiness and pain,

"He an' me . . . we got a little bit of . . . sunshine in a bag."

And Logan sang as he got on his bike, a kind of song that explained, to him at least, just how he felt, "I ain't happy . . ." Tears streamed down his face. But he smiled, feeling glad, "I got my sunshine in a bag," he sang on, his hand pressing the bag to his heart, but feeling useless and yet knowing it wouldn't be for long, that the future was coming on . . . And who knows what the future holds? Time travel maybe? Or maybe there was a God and if he could believe, as he so desperately wanted to believe, then he truly could be with his wife again one day. In heaven. Ororo and him together, really together always.

~The End~

A/N – Three sunshine song references, maybe you caught them. Of course I couldn't have song lyrics in the story due to ToS so true lyrics weren't used.

Okay, fellow fan fiction author, Akazato who is now also Firefly Gold Sky, (so jealous of her beautiful writing style!) told me to expect horrible reviews for such a morbid story when I told her about my idea for this story. I thought, yes, it's a bit morbid but it's also a story of true love. Maybe I'm addled. I guess, having just lost someone I didn't think I cared about all that much, and having their ashes in my car trunk, going everywhere with me, I just thought it made sense when I heard the Gorillaz's Clint Eastwood song on the Fourth of July. Akazato told me that now she won't be able to listen to that song any more. But, hey, the story just came to me and I typed it up while I watched fireworks go off all over the city – we had the best view! I finished it the next night into the third day. And that's that – morbid, good, bad, whatever. Hopefully you enjoyed because I really enjoyed writing it. Thanks for reading!