Name, Date, and... Memories?

Hi everyone! Long time no post... I've been so busy lately. Here's another shot at a Sirius/Hermione fanfiction. The last one kind of died... I guess it was just too normal of a plot for me, this one should go farther because it's the only one I've been working on other than my novels... -sigh-

DISCLAIMER: I DISCLAIM THE BACK PLOT (the harry potter books aren't mine... too bad... I wish I was rich...)

Thanks to Evergreen-Baby for beta-ing, Skittles for reading and my good friend Writer by Night... who didn't know that my username was Writer by Day till she started this account... for reading also. Much Lub guys!

UPDATES: Should come soon enough... Maybe the weekend afternext... as well... Thats the weekend I'm finally getting my N woot!

Chapter 1: Are You High Sirius? No Brain, But I Wish I Was…

Sirius drove down the dark road; faster he believed, than he had ever gone before. His heart full of concern, and his mind telling him to slow the fuck down or he was going to kill someone. It didn't matter anymore anyways…

The rain began to come down heavier; it hadn't stopped raining in so long now. His heart ached; he couldn't help that now, it wouldn't help him. Not in this war, not in the last one. He didn't cry, or get mad. He was just numb, just trying to scrape out some kind of existence after what had happened, and yet he still went faster, always faster. Maybe some part of him really just wanted him to die. Maybe it would be better that way. He wouldn't have to face all the sorry faces that surrounded him day in and day out.

The street lamps blended into each other until he could see them imprinted on his eye lids as he pushed the bike faster. The night was quiet except for the hum of the bike between his legs, goose bumps rose on his legs and arms. He knew this was crazy, he knew this was suicidal, but he kept going. He wasn't going to come home that night. Not that there was anyone waiting for him. Right now the open highway seemed to be homier and inviting, he wasn't about going to argue with that.

The rain pelted his full face helmet, creating a comforting splat sound on the visor and dripping down his neck and down his shirt. He was cold, but he didn't give a shit. He was done. He needed to get away before he snapped at someone again. It hurt him to always be pissy. That's what he had turned into, a pissy old man.

The highway ate him up, the trees beside him didn't move as he rushed by. There was no one else on the road, no one as crazy as him. He might as well be a ghost. Hell, maybe that's all he was. He looked skyward and silently asked his dead friends if it was worth all the shit he'd been through, the bluish rain contrasted against the black sky and the orange glow of the street lamps. There was no answer, he could hear what he thought they would say, but it wasn't what he wanted to hear, so he blocked it out.

He had always been the stubborn sort anyways. A vast amount of water could now be seen between the trees and it kept his attention for a moment. Memories flooded back, and he felt tears threaten his numb, he bit them back hard until he tasted blood. The bike slid on the slippery road and the front wheel threatened to topple, but he pulled it up in time, his heart rate jumping.

He shook his head slowly as if to clear it, and some of his long raven hair fell into his eyes. He took one hand off the handle bars to wipe it away with a gloved hand. He needed to go faster, his mind kept skipping back and fourth from faster to slower, he put his hand back down and continued on, not slowing for anything, not that there ever was anything to slow down for.

The road began to curve into a steep incline as he followed the highway, his turns were liquid smooth and precise. He'd been driving for hours now and it felt as if he had unknowingly become one with the bike. It was one of the most exhilarating feelings he had had in a long time. This thought flung his senses into overload and a wave of sadness took away from the exhilaration and he slowed the bike slightly.

He glanced down to check to see how much gas he had left and realized he had creped into the red, sighing and not really wanting to get off the highway, he took the closest exit into the nearest town. He didn't bother checking what it was called; chances were it wouldn't matter anyways.

He got into town and slowed to the rate of the limited, but still existing traffic. It felt so slow to him as his body adapted to the slower rate of speed, and he hated every second of it. He signaled himself into the nearest gas station and cut the engine. He filled up fast and paid with Muggle debit, as he pushed the numbers on to the pad he glanced around him, hoping that the helmet was enough not to be recognized. He didn't want to be seen, he'd rather be a ghost.

He screwed the cap back on and glanced out at the dark rainy night, wondering if the rain would ever stop. It had been raining for weeks now, and the farther he had gone on the bike to get away from it, the more it seemed to come down. It suited his mood, but he wished for it to let up. He wasn't about to stop at a motel for the rest of the night.

He got back on the bike and adjusted the strap under his chin from the helmet so it wasn't digging into the side of his face anymore. Sighing he picked it up and put the kickstand back on before turning the key, revving the engine and shooting off again, he took the exit from whence he came and was back on the highway before any of the Muggle police could fathom, tickets weren't his favorite thing to get in the world.

The rain, un-relentless, had managed to soak him through, the cold seemed to penetrate his spine, and it made his gloved fingers numb and his heart the same. The speedometer hit 120 again and he leaned foreword to become more aerodynamic, he looked back up at the soaking horizon line and his heart almost jumped to his throat.

A thestral had walked across the dark wet road. Sirius didn't have time to think, and hit the breaks, the tires squealed. Sirius stopped with only inches to spare; the thestral just stood there and stared with its red lamp light eyes. One hoof off of the ground, it snorted.

Sirius pulled off his helmet and frowned at the beast that was looking at him with an amused look on its face. "Thought that was funny eh?" Sirius asked calmly. He knew this one had to be wild, it was too far from Hogwarts to be Hagrid's, upon thinking about this for another second, too skinny too…

The thestral pawed at the ground and snorted. Sirius opened up both his hands and stepped back, showing it that he was unarmed. These magical creatures could be dangerous, especially in the wild.

But then… he had just read about them. Seeing them in the wild was rarer than seeing a beaver fall out of a tree house. The rain let up ever so slightly and he could see that the animal was staring very intently at him… like it was reading his soul. It took a step foreword and Sirius held his ground, weary more than fearful.

It seemed to sense this too and shook its coarse mane, before grabbing the sleeve of his coat and dragging him into the woods. Sirius followed, slowly, reluctantly, maybe slightly weary. It released its hold on his sleeve and made sure he followed. This peaked his curiosity and he followed closer behind the beast through the woods.

He couldn't help but think that there was something he didn't want to see beyond those trees. At this point a big drop of water fell and hit him in the head through the thick canopy of deciduous trees above. He glanced up only to watch an even bigger drop hit him in between the eyes. He let out a little grunt and used his sleeve to wipe his face off.

They entered a clearing and in the middle sat a little cabin-like shack. It was small, very, he thought for a moment, rustic. The rain beating on his back brought him back to the situation in front of him. The thestral watched him intently, not bothering to move but he felt a huge shudder go through him. There was something in that house that he would have to face. He decided, maybe something he needed to see, and this thestral wasn't going to let him leave this place before he found it.

Slowly he walked over to the door, attempting to make it look like he had broken down in the storm and needed a place to stay, it wasn't that much of a stretch… he decided after a moment of taking off his helmet and rubbing his sopping hair profusely, like he had been outside for hours. Then he realized he had been out there for hours and grinned bashfully to himself, shrugging slightly at the now slightly confused, thestral.

He walked up to the door and knocked three times, waiting patiently for someone to come and answer. He heard the thumping of feet on hardwood. Then a woman answered the door, a very familiar woman, a woman with long, curly brown hair, and dark brown teddy bear eyes.

"Hermione?" Sirius asked, his surprise making his question seem choked. He watched for a moment as her eyes began to fill with confusion. A frown quirked on her light pink lips and she shook her head. "I'm sorry, there must be a mistake. There's no Hermione here." She stated in a strangely American accent. She was about to shut the door on his face when she stopped, seemingly remembering her manners. "It's pouring out here, how did you find us?" She asked. "What did you say your name was?" She added after a moment.

"I err, broke down on the highway… I'm Sirius." Sirius stated confusion causing him to snap back into reality. Hermione held out her hand, a blue stone bracelet hung off her slender wrist, "I'm Maddie." She stated easily. Sirius cautiously reached out his hand and took it. He was waiting for some indication that someone would run out yelling, 'surprise!'

When no one did, he mumbled a "Nice to meet you." He ran a surprised hand through his hair. Everyone had been convinced that she was dead. Her body hadn't been found along with countless others who had been disintegrated in the deadly blast from Voldemort's wand, half the people hit hadn't even been found recognizable by anything physical; and that was even before Harry had stepped in.

"Well, you better come in then… there's really nowhere to go, unless you're up for a long trek in the woods and back to town." Hermione stated opening the door further. Sirius stayed glued to his spot on the doorstep. This wasn't the Hermione he knew; the Hermione he knew had had to be stone. She trusted no one cause there was no one to trust, even in the Order, there had been so many casualties to the dark lords spell that there had been none to trust. The death of Dumbledore had marked the death of the Order of the Phoenix. The death of Ron, saving marked the death of her heart.

Hermione had grown from a teenager to a woman in those times, and they had been harsh to her. She had become a ruthless leader in their time of need, and had given up anything regular in the process. She had transformed her body into a killing machine, taken on darker spells then even him, a remnant of the Black family name could fathom, and effectively turned her heart to stone in the process. Making herself unlovable as it were. All this helped them rally enough wizards to destroy the horcruxes and battle the dark lords groupies in the process.

He remembered once that she had turned on him after the first battle and demanded he show her his arm… not believing he could still be on their side after being away for so long, after coming back from the veil. He remembered the hardness, and the cruelty in her eyes; but most of all he remembered the utter fear, remorse, desperateness and the overwhelming sadness, like she was fighting to stay in control, fighting, not only the war, but herself.

This Hermione, or 'Maddie' as she called herself, was none of those things, she was maybe a little confused, but the pain in her eyes had vanished. Something was missing. Sirius couldn't bring himself to say another word. She was inviting him inside, she didn't know who he was, and she looked so much happier than she had during the war.

Just then an older woman came to the door, a smile played across her old lips as she placed a hand on Hermione's shoulder. "Who's this?" She asked in a soft loving tone. "This is Sirius; he broke down on the road." Hermione stated biting her lip. "You're welcome to stay here; we get a lot of people breaking down on the highway. This stretch just seems too far between towns to go anywhere else." The woman stated kindly.

Sirius just nodded numbly and mumbled something about thanks and needing to get some things from his bike before heading out towards the forest. Not believing what he had come upon. It hurt him so bad to be thinking that he should be calling the Order about this; it hurt him to know there was no one but strangers to care. No one that would want to talk to him and no one that HE would want to talk to.

He grabbed his bag almost grudgingly and ignored the thestral that had followed him back. Seemingly making sure that he wasn't just going to drive away, he wasn't, after getting off the bike, only then did he realize how stiff and tired he was. He felt like an old man, no matter how damn in shape he was.

The war had hurt him deeper than he could have imagined, not just mentally, but physically also, on the outside he was in the shape of his life, but in the inside he was hurt, muscle had been injured to the point where even Wizard magic couldn't repair. They had taken care of the scars, but the internal damage had been beyond repair in some places.

Sighing he headed off towards the house again, a worn backpack over his shoulder and walked his bike through the miniscule trail leading to the house. Wondering how the hell he was going to make it through the night without a good sleeping potion and a good shot of something alcoholic.

He got back to the house and parked the bike under an overhanging tree. He glanced around, but the thestral was gone. He sighed once again and made his way over to the house. Wondering whether or not to knock, instead the door opened and the old woman stood, blocking his way into the house, she looked much more serious than she had before.

"I don't know who you are, but if you hurt that young woman, I will see to it that I will dredge up your past and use the first thing that pops up, to insure that you go to jail. Are we clear?" The old woman's eyes turned icy cold, the pupils sharpened onto Sirius's face. Her deeply lined face gave the impression of a deeply detailed renaissance painting. It was stern, but below that he could read the deep love the older woman had for Hermione, and he could respect that, and was thankful for it.

Sirius nodded very seriously, "There's no way I would ever hurt that woman in there, you have my word." He stated meaningfully. She was starting to remind him of Minerva. She nodded apparently pleased and beckoned him inside.

The cabin was indeed small, but it was warm and dry; which was more than he could say for the storm outside. The only light came from a small television and a small fire crackling in the stone fireplace. It created a warm glow that echoed shadows all over the wooden walls. A small raggedy love seat sat in front of the T.V. There were some lounge chairs in a corner beside a bookshelf and a small breakfast nook in the corner. As far as he could see, he counted 3 doors on the first floor and after a glance up the stairs revealed a loft, which he guessed was a bedroom.

Hermione was nowhere to be seen. "Maddie went to bed," The woman stated. "I'm Marine by the way." Sirius nodded, still taking in his settings. "Thanks for taking me in. It must have looked funny, me just coming to the door like this." Sirius stated running a hand through his hair, his thoughts falling on the thestral and then on Hermione again, he wondered whether the thestral had known Marine was a muggle.

"Oh, we get people who break down all the time. It's a good way to make acquaintances. You can dry you're stuff if you want, just set it over the grate." Marine dismissed. Sirius nodded, wondering whether the women knew who Hermione was. He set about propping his clothes against the grate. He warmed his hands near the fire, realizing how cold he had really been as his hands went numb at the first sign of heat.

Marine found herself a chair on the love seat and began flicking channels; the room was silent, with the exception of the buzz of the ancient television. Sirius rubbed his hands together, and slowly got the feeling back. He picked up his discarded gloves from the floor and squeezed them out over the fire; it hissed for a moment and more white smoke flew up and out the flume. He set them on the grate with the rest of the contents of his bag and his jacket.

The clothes he had on at the moment were almost dry and he left the fire side. Marine didn't even turn around, "There's some hot water in the kitchen, there's tea, hot chocolate, apple cider and instant coffee. I suggest you don't take too much of the hot chocolate or Maddie might have to kick you out." Marine stated

Sirius nodded, still not used to Hermione's new name. He decided on tea and went to the kitchen, opening the first cabinet he found assorted boxes of tea and chose orange pekoe, took up the hot water from the kettle on the stove and poured himself a cup.

By the time he came back into the living area he was warm and dry. He was astonished at how fast it had happened, maybe this woman was a muggle, but she definitely had some kind of magic, he decided.

He walked over to the love seat and cautiously placed his earthen mug on a coaster on the coffee table. There was a comfortable silence as Sirius sat down and waited for his tea to steep. The only sound came from the almost muted television and the cracking of the fire. Sirius glanced wearily over there, wishing he could put a non burning spell on the clothing, but then glanced back at the woman beside him.

She didn't turn towards him, but she spoke quietly, calmly. "You know Maddie." She stated. Sirius nodded, leaning back on the old cushion. "Yeah, I know Hermione." He stated, really not wanting to talk about it. He wasn't sure how much the woman knew about Hermione's past.

"You hid your recognition well, but not well enough, she didn't notice though, just in case you didn't want to tell her." Marine spoke softly, but there was a hardness in her tone that suggested something more important.

"How did you find her?" Sirius asked changing the subject, and turning his eyes towards the woman, her long grey hair was pulled back in a braid. "I was a nurse working in London for almost twenty years before I retired. I majored in psychology and my specialty was helping victims of amnesia or other brain disorders." Marine started. "When they found Maddie, they suspected she had been raped, she didn't know who she was, and they thought she would never be able to get integrated into society. I just happened to be doing a lecture there… so obviously I took her into a home care program, I couldn't leave her in there. She's very bright." Marine stated.

Sirius nodded, "That I can agree with." He stated sipping his now far too strong tea. "Who is she?" Marine asked with less authority than she had spoken with before, and Sirius relaxed slightly. "Her name is Hermione Granger, she was a good friend of my godson, they went to school together, both her parents are dead, and I'm not sure if she has any other living relatives, but she's never spoken about any before." Sirius stated flourishing his hand slightly as he spoke.

Marine nodded, "She had the accent before then huh?" She stated, her accent was very much American. Sirius nodded. "Interesting…" The woman hummed slightly as she tapped one finger on the side of the couch. "Did you know her very well?" The woman asked. Sirius nodded, "Well enough." Sirius stated with a sigh. He was starting to get uncomfortable again. "Do you know what might have happened to cause her to loose her memory?" Marine asked, her darker blue eyes searched his gray ones and he sighed, wondering what he could say.

"She was going through a very stressful time; I really didn't get to close to her when it was happening. She lost her boyfriend a while back and then she was forced into a position at her job she could scarcely deal with. There was a lot of stress, and then there was a…" Sirius licked his lips, searching for the right words. "Business trip, and all our friend's were on this plane, it was a private plane and it crashed into the coast line, a lot of the bodies were burnt beyond recognition, and we were given the impression that her body had fallen into the ocean and wouldn't be found. I was sure she was dead." Sirius sighed, running a hand through his now dry hair.

"You're staying." Marine stated getting up and taking her mug to the kitchen. Sirius stood also. "I thought we'd all ready established that." Sirius stated. "We need to get her memory back. Sirius, being her friend, are going to stay, until she gets that back." Marine stated.

"That being said you seem to think I have no life." Sirius stated. "No one with a life travels that highway. You can't tell me nuthin otherwise." Marine stated poking a thumb in the direction of the road. Sirius allowed a weary smile to grace his lips for a moment.

"You don't miss much do you?" He asked. Marine chuckled, "Can't get much past me, no. So don't bother trying." She stated pointing at her nose. Sirius nodded. The silence between them was now comfortable enough, although his thoughts were still flooded with unease.

What if she doesn't want to remember? Sirius thought darkly. He pondered this slightly and ran a hand though the now rough stubble that had made it's home on his face. A few minutes later Marine excused herself to bed, leaving him alone with the fire and the old television remote. So old it reminded him of his time at James's and Remus's houses, sitting around eating ice mice and watching the Wizard of Oz.

He wondered where his friends were now, wondered how they had faired in the bigger scheme of things. Had they died so he could live on and waste his life on alcohol and deep brooding sessions in the dark? But then, they were free, the price it seemed, was far too much than Sirius had ever been willing to offer.

With a sigh, wishing that he had had something stronger than tea, he stumbled tiredly into the bedroom that had been made up for him and collapsed tiredly onto the bed; where he promptly fell asleep. It wasn't a dreamless sleep however, and he woke up several times during the night in a cold sweat, suddenly back in the battle, or falling through the veil and leaving his godson behind.

He was a haunted man, homeless man, and a man who was utterly alone, no matter who was around him.

Please don't judge the ending... I wasn't sure how to finish it. Please REVIEW and let me know what you think