This is set a few weeks further into the show.
All mistakes are mine and I apologize for them!
She took a deep breath and wondered why she was so nervous. Maybe because she knew with absolute certainty that Jane's security detail had their eyes on her. Or because she still tried to find an explanation for why she was at her house on a Saturday night without any real reason. Well, there was. A reason that is. Just not one she felt comfortable sharing with Jane.
Well, the guys had to wonder why she was stalling so she forced herself to knock.
See? Easy. She didn't even have to wait long.
"Patterson." Jane was clearly surprised to see her when she opened her front door.
"Jane. Hi." She couldn't let herself be deterred like that.
"What are you doing here?" The confusion was still there but she hadn't shut the door in her face yet, which Patterson took as a good sign.
"Well. I figured you either hadn't watched clichéd American teenage movies in the first place, which you kind of seem too cool to do or you had forgotten them. In any case, I brought Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer so you can decide which is worse." She held up her bag. "Oh, and Chinese food and popcorn. Which are a necessity for movie nights."
Weller had told her not to lie. So far so good. Well, his exact words had been that she sucked at lying and shouldn't even try. She should just be herself. Because Jane needed a friend.
Why it couldn't be him she didn't understand.
Jane still eyed her suspiciously, but opened the door further to let her in. "And why are you doing this?"
Patterson walked further into the living room, hoping to seem unfazed and sat her bags down on the coffee table. "Well, my boyfriend has to work tonight and the thought of you all alone here is just sad. So here I am." She declared with a too-cheerful smile and unpacked the plastic bags.
Jane's stomach rumbled just as she got to the Chinese. Patterson held out a packet of popcorn kernels to her. "Think you can make popcorn?"
Jane just shrugged. "I have absolutely no idea."
:
::
An hour later had them on the couch, the empty cartons of Chinese food on the table and the popcorn between them. Jane forced herself to relax and just take this offer of companionship at face-value. She could try, at least.
"I don't really have any references, but I still think this movie is terrible." She shook her head.
"I know." Patterson laughed. "Isn't it great?" She took another handful of popcorn and settled back. "Oh, shoot."
"What?" Jane tensed instantly.
Patterson just shook her head. "Nothing. I just totally forgot to bring ice cream."
"Oh." Jane leaned back into the cushions. "I'm sorry."
"What are you sorry for?" Patterson shot her a quick look.
Jane played with the popcorn in her hand, uncertain. "I don't know. I just feel like a lousy host. I don't have anything here."
Patterson turned back to the TV. "Well, I saw the insides of your fridge, so I can only agree. You really don't. Don't you ever go shopping?"
Jane cleared her throat. "I tried, once."
"And?" Patterson prompted.
"It just felt awkward. I had no idea what to get and I just felt pressured by the security detail." Jane turned back to the TV, hoping to let the topic go. It really hadn't been one of her best moments, roaming the aisles of a supermarket late at night with three armed agents surrounding her. And she had avoided it ever since.
"Okay, stop." Patterson grabbed the remote and paused the movie. "You mean they accompany you to go shopping?"
Jane just nodded, suddenly too embarrassed to meet Patterson's eyes.
"How often does that happen?"
"Just that once." Jane admitted. "And now I'm stuck with a toothpaste that tastes like crap and a shampoo that makes my skin itch."
Patterson just snorted and Jane couldn't help but join in. "What if you need anything?"
Jane shrugged. "I tell them and they go and get it for me."
There was a sudden twinkle in Patterson's eyes. "So we could call them and they'd bring us ice cream?"
"I guess." Patterson couldn't be serious.
"Let's do it."
Jane felt a smile form on her face. "Are you serious?" Weller would flip.
Patterson nodded emphatically. "Sure. You should definitely take advantage."
Now she was definitely smiling. Well, Weller would just have to deal. "What should we get?"
"What do you like?" Patterson asked instead.
"I don't know." She answered honestly and tried not to focus on the empty feeling that gave her. It was just ice cream, for God's sake.
The lab analyst put down the popcorn and looked at her with a pensive expression. "You really have no idea, do you?!"
Jane shrugged and forced herself to hold Patterson's gaze. She could practically hear the other woman's gears turning in her head.
"Okay." Patterson said in her take-action tone. "Now I regret bringing Chinese because this is going to be epic. We need to make a list. And you need new shampoo."
:
::
Jane let the spoon fall into the empty bowl. "That's it." She leant back against the sofa from where she sat on the floor.
Patterson just groaned from her place sprawled all over the couch. "Seriously? Raspberry with salted caramel sauce?"
"Yes." Jane smiled complacently. "And those little nut thingies."
"Brittle." Patterson supplied and closed her eyes. "I feel sick just thinking about that combo."
Jane just smirked. "You feel sick because of all the mint ice cream. That stuff is disgusting."
"O ye of little faith. You had your memory wiped." Patterson pointed out playfully. "No one in their right mind would dismiss mint ice cream with chocolate sauce."
Jane couldn't help but smile. And she realized, she felt really good about this evening. Despite the various ice cream flavors now sitting in her freezer and all kinds of toppings littering her kitchen. And despite the big elephant in the room. She would probably hit herself over the head later for ruining their post-ice-cream-bliss, but she just couldn't let it go.
"Hey, Patterson." She shifted slightly on the floor.
"Hm?" Patterson blinked to clear her vision and sat up on the couch.
"Thanks. You really didn't have to do that."
"It was nothing." Patterson insisted.
"I don't know what Weller told you to get you to do this, but… Thanks. I really appreciate it." Jane said in a low tone.
Patterson's face fell as soon she heard Weller's name. "You noticed, huh?"
Jane couldn't help a self-deprecating smile. "Yeah."
"I'm sorry." She sounded genuine and now Jane felt even worse for ruining the moment.
"Don't be. It was a nice gesture." It definitely beat staring at her tattoos all evening.
"No." Patterson laid a tentative hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry Weller had to say anything at all. I could have been more thoughtful of your situation."
Jane smiled at her and felt a lump rising in her throat. "You don't have to be. I'm not your responsibility."
"Well." Patterson got up from the couch and self consciously wiped down her shirt. "I don't know the others that well, but I think your cultural re-education should definitely be my responsibility. I should go. But next time, we're definitely watching Dr. Who."
Jane just frowned as she got up as well. "Dr. Who? Is that one of those medical shows?"
Patterson just smirked. "No. It's more to do with..." She shook her head. "It's better to just watch it. Explaining it probably makes me sound like a lunatic."
Jane followed her to the door and held it open for her. Patterson turned around on the stoop to face her again.
"I really did have fun, Jane." She insisted. "You shouldn't be mad at Weller, you know. He just…"
Jane nodded. "I had fun, too." Jane quickly interrupted her. "So thank you."
"And let's not forget, you have a lot of toothpaste to try out, now."
Jane couldn't help but laugh. "Yes, that too."
:
::
She lay in bed and couldn't sleep.
She wanted to be mad at Weller.
She really did.
But this evening had been fun. Truly. But the fact that it had been orchestrated by him… tainted it. On the bright side she had tested the first toothpaste and only had 28 to go to find one she liked. And she hadn't spent the whole evening obsessing about her tattoos. In fact they hadn't even discussed them or anything else about her except for ice cream flavors and toppings.
There had been no expectations.
Which felt both liberating and lonely at the same time.
To fuck with Dr. Borden's assessment. So what if the man she had dreamt about once represented Weller. Having whatever warped relationship they had surely beat out being alone.
God knew she could only make that decision for herself. Weller had put it into his thick-headed skull to remain objective. She still didn't know what she had done to deserve that.
Jane turned around again and tried to beat the pillow into submission.
Any dream would be welcome at this point.
:
::
Of course he was at his locker when Jane arrived at the FBI the following day. He looked worn out whereas she was glad they had been called in on a Sunday.
"Morning." She greeted him, not really looking at him.
"Morning." Weller grunted in return.
Jane heard him shut his locker, but forced herself not to look at him. She could feel his eyes on her, and she scolded herself for her sudden unease. It had started with her holster. Then he had complained when her shoelace had come undone in the field. And just last week he hadn't liked the way she'd fastened her bullet-proof vest.
She put her jacket and the bag with her meager belongings into her locker and grabbed her gun and holster. Jane could still feel him watching her and she imagined he tried to find another weak spot to exploit. She'd had enough.
She closed her locker forcefully and met his gaze head on. "Patterson was a smart choice."
He looked startled for a moment before his gaze became pleading. "Jane."
"Don't bother." She said dejectedly before she turned around and walked down the corridor.
"Jane, wait." He was on her heels instantly and lightly held on to her upper arm.
She shook his hand lose but turned around to meet his apologetic eyes.
"I won't apologize." Weller said first off.
Jane just looked at him. Lost. She truly didn't know what to say. She was just disappointed.
Which just seemed to egg Weller on even more. "And anyway. It can't have been that bad, if you send your detail for twelve tubs of ice-cream in the middle of the night!"
Jane just took a deep breath. "You can justify that all you want but that doesn't make it right." She said in a low voice. "And for the record, we wanted fifteen. But the supermarket was out of the other three kinds."
"I thought that's what you wanted. A friend." He had calmed down at her tone, if only marginally.
Jane looked around and upon seeing that they were still alone took a step well into his personal space and looked up at him. "I wanted you to be my friend."
She heard his sharp intake of breath at the same time as footsteps further down the hall and took a step back.
"Hey." Jane turned around to see Reade coming their way. "Are guys coming anytime soon? Everyone's waiting for you two and Mayfair is on a warpath."
"On our way." Weller told him, his eyes still trained on Jane.
:
::
The first thing Weller noticed upon their arrival in the bullpen was the picture of a woman up on the screens. The first thing Jane noticed was everyone's eyes flitting to her.
She tried to dismiss it and focused on the picture instead. Caucasian female, about her age, dark hair, green eyes, mole on her cheek.
Wow.
The resemblance was uncanny.
Weller had to have noticed as well. Jane felt him move closer to her, albeit unconsciously on his part. His voice held a sharp tone. "What's going on? Who is this?"
Mayfair turned around and regarded them both. "I was hoping one of you could tell us. She gave herself up to the FBI claiming to be Taylor Shaw."