A/N: Heyy guys!!!! I hope you like my newest humor!!!!! Let me just tell ya, Max fights dirty!!!!
Disclaimer: Seriously??? Do i look like JP??? Well, I guess you wouldn't know, but i know, and i am NOT JP!!!!
Claimer: THIS IDEA IS SOOO MINE!!!! MINE MINE MINE MINE!!!!! MIIINNEE!!!!!
Fang is so smexi!!!
After a long stressful day, the Flock and I crashed in the forest. You don't need to know where. Let's just say somewhere in the Western Hemisphere.
Anyways, Angel, Gazzy, and Nudge had collapsed after chugging a can of beans and an apple apiece. After deciding I would take first watch, Fang second, and Iggy third, the guys settled down by the snoring dogs.
Around 2 AM, I shook Fang awake. He groaned an blearily stared up at me.
"Wakey-wakey, Fang!" I grinned at him.
He yawned and rose, nearly falling over me.
"Dang, wake up!" I muttered under his weight.
"Sorry," he mumbled, "I haven't been sleeping well. I need something to get me up," his eyes gleamed, "like a good fight."
I realized what he wanted, "No, Fang! I don't want you to get hurt!"
"Hurt? By you? Please," he scoffed, grabbing my arm, "Come on! We'll just be right over there! What could possibly go wrong?"
I sighed. Anytime anyone said 'what could possibly go wrong,' something went wrong!
Fang looked down at me, "Please?" he begged tiredly.
I let out another loud, frustrated sigh, "Fine, but if something happens, then its on your head," I hissed.
Fang grinned my favorite grin, and I followed him to a shallow opening. I watched him pull off his shirt, shoes, and socks, and turned to face me. "Ready?"
I tore off my shoes and socks and nodded, "I'm ready to kick your ass!"
Fang laughed, a real laugh, and I charged him. He caught my fist and spun me around so my back was to him. Fang dung his knee into my back, and I groaned.
"What were you saying?" Fang whispered in my ear.
"That I'm gonna kick your sorry ass!" I twisted out of his embrace and delivered a quick punch to his gut.
"Oof!!" Fang doubled over, and I punched him again.
"That's what I thought," I snarled viciously.
Fang grabbed my arm before I could hit him again, twisted it behind me, and shoved me to the ground.
We tussled around for awhile, neither of us gaining the upper hand. Finally, Fang leaned over me, breathing heavily. His legs held me to the forest floor, and his hands were locked on my arms.
"Well?" he panted.
"Well what?" I asked innocently.
"Say it."
"Say what?"
Fang grinned, his bloody lip shining in the moonlight, "Fang fights better, and kicked my ass. Fang rocks."
"You haven't kicked my ass, though." I smiled sweetly.
Fang looked down at me confused, "What?"
I leaned up, as if I was going to kiss him, and he reacted like I hoped he would.
Fang eagerly bent down and relaxed his grip on me.
I brought my knee up as hard as I could.
Fang collapsed on top of me, groaning. "Max, you bitch!"
I shoved him off me, "Guess I kicked your ass, huh? Or should I say your balls?"
"Dickhead!" Fang was rolling on the ground, grabbing his you-know-what.
"I think that's more up your alley. Or atleast, was."
"Damn it, you bitch!!! I planned to use that!!" Fang rolled around in serious agony. Oh well.
"I guess the sun won't be shinin' there for a loooong time, hun." I tsked him, "Should've thought to worn a cup."
"BITCH!"
"Shhh. You might wake the kids," I hushed him through my giggles.
"Damn it!" he moaned, "I'm never going to trust you again!"
Quickly, I leaned over him and planted a kiss on his bloody lips. "There. Now we're even."
Fang looked up at me in shock, but I was already strutting away. "Better start your watch now," I called over my shoulder.
I heard Fang mutter "Bitch," one last time before I drifted off to sleep.
The next morning---
"Y'alright, Fang?" Nudge asked through a mouthful of food, "You seem to be limping. Hurt your leg or something? I heard about someone who hurt their leg and didn't have it checked out, so they walked with a limp the rest of their life. I don't want that to happen to you, so maybe you should have Iggy check it out. Is that okay with you, Iggy? But of course, you wouldn't want the me, Angel, Gazzy, Total, and Akilia around, because your pants will be down probably, so we'll just take our breakfast and leave. Alright guys?" Without waiting for an answer, Nudge grabbed her cereal and left, dragging Akilia with her.
The Gasman shrugged and followed. Angel gave Fang a curious look before she and Total left.
I smirked at Fang. He was actually blushing!
Iggy coughed, "So, uh, I guess I'll look at your leg…?" he hinted.
"I don't think it's something you can fix, Ig," Fang muttered.
"What? Whacha you say?"
"I said: I don't think it's something you can fix," Fang was bright red now.
Iggy laughed, "Of course I can fix it! Are you just shy since Max is still here? Awww!!! Max, why don't you leave, and then I'll have a look at your leg."
I snickered, "Catch ya later, Fang."
He glared at me and mouthed out one word: Bitch.
I slowly walked a few yards away and hid behind a tree.
I peeked out and saw Fang whisper something in Iggy's ear.
Silence.
Then Iggy hooted, "She kicked you there?!?! Poor sucker!!! You're right that won't heal!"
End
A/N: Hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!!! Please, no flames!!!!