Just one more, one more... This will be the last time I am doing this. I have promised myself this and I will fulfill it... He thought as he pressed the sharp razor blade against his wrist, scratching the soft skin. Small droplets of blood slowly poured out of the self-inflicted cut and down to the sides of his wrist. He felt warm tears trickle his cheeks as he continued making cut after cut on his stinging skin. He stopped when his head started to spin and just sat down for a few minutes before he got up from the bathroom floor and washed away the now dried blood. Thranduil stared at himself in the mirror; the left side of his face looking horrid as always with his eye misty and milky white and the skin gruesomely rough and scarred in pink. The right side was as any normal face with a normal blue, lively eye and soft, pale skin. He stared at the left side in disgust, trying to remember that it was his father's creation, not his but it was hard. He already hated himself so much it sickened him, even more since he was staring at himself and thinking of how ugly and disgusting he was, doing the exact opposite way of what his counselor had told him to do. He wasn't supposed to cut, he wasn't supposed to loathe himself every hour, every minute, every second of his life but it went that way no matter how hard he tried not to.

"Thranduil you pig, get out of there! I need to shower!" Oropher's voice was sluggish, Thranduil could already tell that his father had been drinking alcohol and he knew the consequences if he didn't get out this instant. Thranduil put away his razor in its hiding place and flushed the bloody bits of toilet paper away, hurried out of the toilet without giving his father a glance. He locked himself inside his room and slumped down on the bed, grabbed the mp3-player and started the music.

"Thranduil Mirkel?" The teacher searched around the classroom to find the said teenager. Thranduil sunk down on his place, wanting to disappear into the table. Everyone in his new class turned around and looked at him with questioning eyes. He could almost hear their thoughts; Why does he looks so weird? Why does he have such a weird name? Ew, what a disgusting face!

This was the third time he had switched high school because of bullying and this time, he hoped things would change then what they had been before.

"I am here", his voice was quiet and hoarse and he hated how it sounded. The teacher, he didn't remember her name, smiled and nodded at him before continuing through the name list. The whole class was here and their next lesson would start in half an hour. Thranduil pulled his sketchbook out of his bag and started sketching. Most of the time, he sketched images from his head but this time he sketched off a dying flower that stood in a window near him. Even though he had limited vision, he had become accustomed to have one eye so drawing was not a problem for him. A girl sat down at the empty place beside him, he couldn't see what she looked like as she was sitting on his left side but he didn't pay much attention to her. By the time the first lesson started, he finished the drawing. The girl was still sitting beside him but she hadn't said a word the entire time.

"Thranduil, could you answer the question please?" A male voice asked. Thranduil looked up, the man standing at the desk was a well-built man. He had long, ginger painted hair with a lush, braided beard. His eyes were blue and small. Thranduil felt his cheeks burning up, he hadn't heard the question, he had been too engulfed by finishing his drawing.

"I am sorry, I did not hear the question", he murmured, staring at the table and wishing he wasn't there.

"Then I will let someone else answer it", the teacher simply replied and looked at the girl beside Thranduil. "Tauriel"? He raised his eyebrows whilst waiting for an answer. She answered the question quickly without any doubts, her eyes started to glow when she talked and when she was done, she gave off a confident smile.

The lesson ended, Thranduil collected his things, put them in his bag and quickly went out of the classroom. He checked the schedule, his next class wouldn't begin for another hour so he looked for the cafeteria, sat down at one of the tables and waited for the next lesson to begin. Three sturdy looking boys in his own age came walking towards him. He saw hate burning in their eyes as they sat down on the three chairs left at his table.

"Hello there Thranduil", the one to the left said, he ridiculed Thranduil's name and laughed, the other two laughing with him. He had long dirty, blonde hair and sky blue eyes, on his body he wore a black leather jacket and dark blue jeans.

"Are you liking the new school burn face?" the other boy asked, he looked quite alike to the blonde boy sitting beside him only that he had dark brown hair.

"Shut up Fíli and Kíli, I have the best name for this twat. Blindy burned!" the third teen said whilst smiling triumphantly, Fíli and Kíli laughed heartily at his words. "I'm Thorin", he smiled smugly and stared at Thranduil with burning eyes. His hair was long and curly, reaching down below his shoulders, his eyes sharp.

"You know BB, you don't really belong here with your dandy clothes and ugly face. If you don't want your face smacked you should get away from our cafeteria and table", Thorin hissed and leaned towards Thranduil. Thranduil could feel his breath against his face. He obeyed Thorin's demand without question and hurried out from the cafeteria. He went out to the schoolyard and sat down on a bench, trying to collect himself and stop himself from bursting out crying. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat but it was too much; his emotions spilled over and he burst out crying. He hid behind his long, silver blonde hair and sobbed quietly.

"Why are you sitting her by yourself?" Thranduil jerked by the sudden sound, looked up to see a quite chubby, light blonde curly-haired teen in his own age with a concerned look on his face, in front of him. "And why are you crying? Did something happen?"

Thranduil tried to think of something to say, a lie perhaps, but nothing good came to his mind.

"I-... I am new at this school. This is my first day. Some people was mean to me", he blurted out, immediately regretting he said the truth. The boy frowned and crossed his arms, "You mean Fíli, Kíli and Thorin right? They're mean to everyone that's new. They were nasty to me when I was new", he said. "So you're not the only one", he added.

Thranduil nodded, unsure what to reply. The boy sat down beside him. "I'm Bilbo. Bilbo Baggins.", he reached out his hand for Thranduil to shake, "Pleased to meet you."

Thranduil shook his hand and managed to smile at him. "I am Thranduil. Thranduil Mirkel."
Bilbo's eyes went wide.

"Mirkel? You're the son of the famous lawyer Oropher Mirkel?" he blurted out excitedely. Thranduil nodded, "Yes, why?"

"I've followed his cases around. I think he's a really laid back and awesome lawyer! I aspire to be like him one day."

Thranduil was quite thrown back by the boy's words; he thought Oropher was awesome and aimed to be like him one day?

If you knew him you would not like him at all, Thranduil was about to say but kept it for himself. If he even breathed something about his father's problems with alcohol, Oropher would literally kill him.

Bilbo cast an eye at his yellow wristwatch and quickly rose to his feet. "I'm sorry Thranduil, I need to go. I hope I'll see you later", he said before walking away. Thranduil looked after him as he went away, and wondered if this was a first step to his first friend.

When school was over, Thranduil went home by the bus and made supper as soon as he stepped inside the door. Every day was the same; Thranduil came home from school, made food for himself and his father. If he didn't follow the daily schedule, he knew what to expect; fifteen lashes across his back or being without food for a week. He usually picked the whip since he wanted to be active and motivated in school. He had some horrible scars on his back from the whipping that he covered up with makeup if he was to be without a T-shirt.

Thranduil set the table and sat down on one of the expensive chairs to wait for his father's arrival. He heard the door open and close and immediately put food on his father's plate, he wasn't allowed to serve himself any food before Oropher had allowed it. Oropher sat down on the chair opposite to Thranduil's and started eating in silence. He didn't ask how Thranduil's day had been nor how he was feeling, he held his gaze down at the plate. When he had finished, he let out an almost silent grunt and Thranduil served himself with food and ate quietly. Oropher had already put his plate away on the sink and was now in the living room according to the loud sound of laughter from the room. Funny thing was that Oropher loved watching sitcoms but didn't have any sense of humour or laughter. He was either angry or completely blank of emotions. He always held a straight and collected face at his trials.

Thranduil put away the food and washed the dishes, he went to his room when he had finished the dishes. He checked his schedule for tomorrow's school day and then he spent the rest of the evening trying to sketch what he remembered of Bilbo's appearance.

A/N:

Hello! I hope you liked the first chapter of my story "An unexpected inner journey"! TBC.

((Mirkel is a mix of Mirkwood and Elven if you was wondering.))