Title: Daycare

Rating: T, for Grimmjow's colorful language. w

Summary: Ulquiorra and Grimmjow are given an assignment to take care of a human baby for three weeks, until Aizen is given the ransom for the baby to be returned. It can't be too hard... Can it?

Disclaimer: Is everyone gay? No. Do I own Bleach? No.

Author's Note: I've seen this kind of thing done here and there, and I wanted to try it. X3 lol.

There was a full moon tonight. Or, today, more likely. He could never tell.

Knock knock

Grimmjow looked up towards his door. "What?" he called. "Excuse me?" the voice asked. Grimmjow rolled his eyes. Ulquiorra would not go without manners... "Yes?" he said. "Lord Aizen wishes to see us," Ulquiorra replied. Grimmjow heard footsteps, which was Ulquiorra walking away to see Aizen. Grimmjow somehow found the energy to get up off his bed, and walked towards the door to begrudgingly follow Ulquiorra to see 'Lord' Aizen. The guy wasn't much of a lord. The only thing he ever did was tell them what to do. He had told Ulquiorra this, and all the stoic man said was that that's what lords did. - -; He wasn't sure Ulquiorra only said that to be contrare. Grimmjow walked down the white marble hallway towards Aizen's room, inwardly cursing Aizen for getting him up on a Saturday. Once he was there, he was greeted by Emo Ulquiorra.

"What're we here for?" Grimmjow grumbled. "I'm not sure, Grimmjow. That's what Lord Aizen will tell us when he answers his door," he replied monotonously. Grimmjow raised his fist to knock.

"I have already," Ulquiorra said.

BANG BANG BANG

"Jeagerjaques!" Ulquiorra hissed. "What?! He's not gettin here fast enough. I wanna get this over with and go back to bed. I'm tired," he complained. "I don't care if you're about to fall over. You do not show disrespect to Lord Aizen," he scolded. Grimmjow waved him off. "Eh, whatever..." he muttered. The door opened to reveal Aizen; the man he hated even more than Ulquiorra. He smiled and told them to come inside. The two Espada walked into the room to see Gin standing with a baby in his arms, grinning as usual.

"Hiya! This is the lil angel you'll be lookin' after!" he said happily, bouncing it a little.

Grimmjow and Ulquiorra stared. Looking after?!

What?!

Aizen chuckled. "Gin, they don't know yet..." he said, smiling. "Ohhh... Well, surprise!" Gin said, holding the baby up for them to see. Grimmjow was the first to say anything.

"Is this what you woke me up for?! To show me a little brat?!" he asked. Gin got a look mixed between surprise and hurt on his face. "Ta show ya the little baby," he corrected. "Same thing! And what do you mean I'll be looking after it?!"

"Well, you and Ulquiorra..."

"Oh, that makes it much better..." he said sarcastically.

Gin nodded enthusiastically.

"And I - we, I mean, have to take care of this... this... thing?!" Grimmjow said, looking at it as though it were venomous. It gurgled happily, grinning and reaching for the Sexta espada, who backed away.

"Aww... Scared of a lil baby, Grimmy?" Gin asked, smirking.

"Scared?! More like disappointed. I wanted some mission or whatever, and instead I have to babysit a little fucker and he's in on it, too..." Grimmjow said, gesturing to Ulquiorra as he said 'he's'. Ulquiorra put his hands in his pockets.

"You think you're disappointed, Sexta? I hate brats," he said.

"And you think I don't?!"

"I never seperated you from that catagory," Ulquiorra replied coolly.

Grimmjow took a moment to process this information... Then tried to attack the Cuatro.

"Grimmy, don' attack 'im!!! You two haven't decided roles yet," Gin said, pushing them apart. The two looked confused by the comment.

"Roles?" Grimmjow asked. Gin nodded, playing with the baby who sat on the floor. "Yes, roles. Who'll play the role as the mother, and who'll play the role as the father," he explained. Grimmjow nearly passed out. "I... am not the mother..." he said through gritted teeth. "Oooh. Talk about touchy, eh, Grimmy?" Gin said, amused as always. Ulquiorra's expression stayed the same. "Neither am I. That must mean you have to be," he said, looking at Grimmjow. He growled. "Who made you boss?!" he snarled. "Well, technically, Grimmy, ya have no say. He's a higher rank than ya..." Gin pointed out. "Only by two spots!" he protested angrily. Gin shrugged.

"Sorry, Grimmy... Guess yer the mother..." he said, getting up off the floor with the baby in his arms.

"I - he - you - UGH! This is SO unfair!!!" he shouted.

"Grimmy, be quieter! You'll scare 'im..." Gin said, handing the baby to Ulquiorra, who took it reluctantly.

"Oh, so it's a 'him'?" he asked.

"No, she's a girl. But don't call 'er an 'it'. It ain't nice," Gin said, wagging a finger towards Grimmjow.

Grimmjow scoffed and left the room.

"Hey mommy, get back in here. I need you to get some bags," Ulquiorra called. There wasn't any answer except for a roar of annoyance.

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!!!"

"Then get back in here," he said.

A moment later Grimmjow came back in the room and grabbed three random bags, pissed.

"Alright, she'll need three bottles a day, and after she eats, she needs to be burped. Then she -"

"That's great, ok, let's go," Grimmjow said, grabbing Ulquiorra and going out the door.

"Grimmjow!"

"HOW DO YOU MAKE IT STOP?!" Grimmjow yelled over the noise from his room. Nnoitra snickered as he went by.

"You're holding it wrong, trash..."

"What, is there a special way to, or something?"

"Yes, you supposed to support its head, like this,"

"I think you should be the mother, I'm obviously terrible at it and you know more,"

"I don't know more about it, I just know how to keep it from breaking its neck,"

"That's more than I know. I'm gonna end up killing it,"

"With your temper, you just might,"

"Maybe it's hungry,"

"Then feed it,"

"I don't know how!"

"Maybe if you hadn't dragged me out and we had stayed to listen, you might know,"

"Why do you always blame everything on me?!"

"Because it's always your fault, trash,"

Grimmjow got up to go and try to make a bottle. Ulquiorra looked down at the screaming baby.

"Trash, is what he is. Nothing more," he told her.

She gurgled.

"A lot like you. Although even as a baby, you're probably smarter than he is," he said, studying her.

She laughed, reaching for him.

"You're too clingy of a baby... ... I think you should be called Kiorra... You like that?" he asked, picking her up.

She laughed again, and put her hands over her eyes. Ulquiorra watched, wondering what she'd do.

She burst into a fit of laughter suddenly, taking her hands off her face and onto Ulquiorra's.

"Ok, NO. Don't touch me..." he said, putting her back down.

Grimmjow came back in, shaking a bottle. "Here, drink it up," he said, handing it to her. They waited for her to pick it up and start drinking, but she just sat there, doing nothing. "Look, I wouldn't want to eat this either, but it's what the foxface gave us, so eat it," he said, putting it in her face. She wailed, shoving it away. "I guess she's not hungry..." he said, taking it away. Ulquiorra nodded. "Why'd she stop crying?" Grimmjow asked. "You left," he said, smirking. "Another reason why you should have taken my place as her mother," he grumbled. She reached toward Grimmjow, gurgling again. "Nah... She likes you," Ulquiorra said. Grimmjow picked her up and stood her up on his lap. "What?" he said. She did nothing, just stood there, looking at his face. "I'm going to get something to drink," Ulquiorra said, getting up and leaving the room. "What's the matter with all you twerps? All you do is cry..." he said. She grinned, putting her hands over her eyes. "What are you - ?"

"BOO!"

Grimmjow sat there, gaping.

"ULQUIORRA!!! SHE SAID HER FIRST WORD!!!"

Ulquiorra walked around the kitchen, making a grilled cheese, when someone knocked on the door. "Ulquiorra, will you get that?" Grimmjow called. "Oh, and me and Jaolin want to go to the park. Do you want to come?" he asked, putting a light blue windbreaker on her. "Her name's Kiorra... And no, not really," he said, opening the door. "Oh, hello Lord Aizen," he greeted. Aizen smiled. "Hello, Ulquiorra. I'm here to pick up the child," he said.

"Who is that?" Grimmjow called.

"It's Lord Aizen. He's here to get Kiorra," he said.

"What?! Why?!" he asked.

"It's been three weeks, Grimmjow. In fact, a little past that. The ransom arrived. It's time to take her back," Aizen said. "But, but, but... But you're some evil guy! You're not expected to pick up on your side of the deal!" he said. "Jaolin can't leave!"

"I'm sorry, Grimmjow. But she needs to go back. Give her here," Grimmjow hesitated, holding her closer. "Come on now, Grimmjow, don't be difficult," he said, holding his arms out. With a dramatic sigh, he reluctantly handed Jaolin to him. "Thank you. She - "

"Don't let her get cold. She's sensitive to the wind and all. Also, make sure she eats five bottles a day. She eats a lot. And,"

Aizen soon left with all the necessary information, and Grimmjow telling Jaolin/Kiorra goodbye about twenty times.

Grimmjow fell onto the couch, silent. After a few minutes of silence, Ulquiorra sighed and spoke up.

"It's not like you could've kept her forever, Grimmjow... Surely you knew this," he said.

Grimmjow nodded. With another dramatic sigh, he said, "Yeah, I know... I just didn't know three weeks would go by so fast..." he said.

Ulquiorra didn't say anything.

Grimmjow got up to go open his door to look down the hall, seeing Aizen.

"You be sure you play Peek - A - Boo with her!!! It's her favorite game!!!"

Sorry it's short, lol. And there's my strange and random story thingy. lol. In all honesty, I see Grimmjow being the mother. If you dislike it so much, write one of your own where he's the father or something. Flames are mean unless they're from Axel. (He's off Kingdom Hearts for those of you who don't know) Because if they're from Yamamoto they're just... weird.

I don't know why, but Yamamoto has always creeped me out... I mean, does anyone else think it's a little weird that this 2,000+ year old guy has an 8 pack?! Or whatever it is. 6 pack, 8 pack, I don't know... lol. Anyhoo, reviews would be aWeSoMe! Free kittens to those who review! w X3 (Also, by the way, the names for the baby if you notice, are parts of their own name. Although 'Kiorra' I read from the story 'Just Like A Girl'. REAAAAALY good. X3 But yeah. Ulquiorra, UlKIORRA, Grimmjow, JAOlin. Pronounced like 'jow'. lol. Yeah, I'll stop rambling now... lol)