Disclaimer: I do not own newsies. I own only Miracle and Raven owns Raven. I do not have Raven46's permission to use her in this story so if it suddenly disappears, that is why.

Times Of Trials

Chapter 1

"How do you let someone go Spot?

How do you understand that that's all right, that everything changes?

How do you find a way for that to make you feel good about life, instead of breaking your heart? You can't Spot. You just can't. And that's what you've done.

Broken my heart. Like a porcelain rose, it is unrepairable and unique. And it is broken, for now and forever.

The hardest thing you'll ever learn is how to say goodbye. You've already learned that. Now it's my turn."

I sighed as a single silver tear slid down my face.

I slid silently out the door, ignoring the face I had adored so much as it raise a hand as though to halt me.

Ignoring the same crystalline eyes that wrapped me in paradise when he tossed his head of light brown hair.

The same face that had turned me away.

I knelt down next to the cardboard box and shivered.

I threw my dark brown hair over my shoulder and gazed longingly with my emerald green eyes at what lay unmoving before me.

It was my entire fault.

I had said goodbye instead of insisting to talk longer with him.

I let him desert my whole life and me.

I let him throw my life away.

Sure we only had known each other for a week, but I felt like I knew him more than that.

I had heard stories of his one-night stands.

I thought I was different.

I thought I meant more to him.

I didn't though.

I was the same to him as all the rest of the poor girls who fell for him.

Just another girl he could try and get to bed.

But as alike as I was, I was different.

He had not succeeded.

He had failed.

And his story would be ruined by me.

Aidan James Ariana Lynne Sullivan.

I was the one who outsmarted him.

I was the one who showed him he was wrong.

I was the one that stopped him from ruining other girls lives in simply one night.

I was the one who had my heart broken like all those others for a reason that only G-d knows now.

A reason that Spot Conlon was taking to the grave.

I shuddered and turned.

Wrapping my fingers around Raven's coat, I pulled her to the back of Medda's.

"He's why isn't it?" Her dark brown eyes shoe deeply into mine.

"He's the reason you haven't smiled or looked at me and Jack in months."

I nodded.

"He broke it." I whispered, my voice hoarse from the tears.

"Ruined a rare thing for a reason I'll never know."

"At least it's not your fault." Raven tossed her Auburn hair over her black coat.

"But it is!" I cried.

"I never turned back or refused to let go! I gave my heart away and let him take it and smash it to thousands of pieces."

"Now he's dead."

"Yes." Tears ran swiftly down my cheeks. "From an accident I caused."

"You never meant to push him off the docks! He slipped!"

"He should have known how to swim!"

"Somebody tripped you!"

I stopped yellling.

She had a point.

I had run off the docks waiting for a splash of water but instead, I felt myself falling and something slipping under my hands.

Yet she was wrong.

I had pushed him.

I had pushed him as he glared at me with that evil look in his eyes.

And I had killed him.

I had killed him.

I had killed him.

Now he was gone.

Forever.

Because of me.

And because of him.

And because of somebody's stupid foot.

I turned and came face to face with the one thing I would have never seen again.

I should have never seen it again.

But yet I did.

And it was staring right at me.

With the same haunting eyes.

And the same cocky grin.

And that same chilling voice.

"I did it."