AN: This story has been written as a birthday gift for Regina (rgbcn). Happy birthday young lady, have a wonderful day. Muchas gracias por compartir con nosotros esas hermosas piezas de arte que alegran mis días, por ser una persona tan fresca y amigable, por tu dedicación y empeño para este fandom, personas como tú es lo que este mundo necesita.
/Thank you for sharing those amazing pieces of art, for being so cool and such a nice person, for your dedication and endeavour to this fandom. People like you is needed in this world/
Also thanks Tammy (bigbangenthusiast) for helping me with my english and being my beta, I really appreciate your help.
It had been almost a year since I quit ice skating. I try my best to move on because it's not easy to say goodbye to something you feel is yours, something you embrace so much that actually makes you love yourself more because of it, something that makes you feel the asleep magic laying inside you is awaken by actions you enjoy to perform then that sparkle goes out from your core. It expands and spreads to every person who is enjoying of it, of that part of you that is forever stamped in your heart, but you can also share with others to make them feel that magic inside of them as well. That's called art.
Staying away from all it was quite difficult. I had to keep everything low because I don't like drama. The first thing I did was to meet with Principal David Johnson and my Coach Albert Hall. I tried my best to convince them (and myself) that I was not willing to ice skate anymore, that it was not a good time, that I was feeling emotionally and physically exhausted (which in part was the truth) that I was not going to be able to do it again, that I'd choose another activity to fill the empty space, that I had a harp and I knew how to play it, that I was going to stay making art but I'll just be in a low profile. The coach looked at me a little disappointed. I think he suspected something about what happened, but he kept his mouth shut almost all the time thing that made me feel both relieved and concerned. Mr. Johnson offered me all kinds of accommodations any member of the team would kill for. He wanted to refer me to the counseling department, but I almost begged not to, that I'd be fine, that I'm a strong woman and it wouldn't interfere in my grades; that was a promise. After spending almost two hours trying to convince me to stay in the team and leave behind my "crazy decision", he just agreed under the condition to stay two months until the date of the last national competition of the year arrives. I agreed with it and left the office with my forehead up and with a face without any tangible expression.
After the long talking all students around were me asking me to come back to the team, that it wouldn't be the same. At the beginning my response was a verbal paragraph, but after three weeks in a raw I was so overwhelmingly annoyed about it, that I just gave them a killing stare. That was enough for them to leave me alone and for me to get my peace back, but it was not enough. Some of them were so daring to ask me again that I actually talked to Mr. Johnson about it. Unfortunately he told me he couldn't help a lot with that, I had no choice but to smile and thank him for being a supportive person as much as he could.
I remember as if it was yesterday when after a very long day I finally arrived to the apartment and greeted Bernadette. I couldn't hold it, and I started to cry a lot. I even didn't remember much time I spent crying, but I do recall how swollen, red and watery my face was after it. Bernie was so sweet to me. She made me some soup, got me a bath with lavender, which was very relaxing, and set my bed with fresh and soft sheets, with two aromatic lavender candles too. She told me it'd help me to sleep better, and it did.
The next morning when I woke up, I stayed for awhile in bed, opened the drawer of the nightstand next to the bed, took my glasses and put those on. I left the bed and turned on the main light of the room. I changed my sheets and covered my bed with fresh ones and threw to the hamper the ones Bernie had put on it last evening. After that I went to the kitchen to make breakfast for both of us, but my nose told me breakfast was already done. Bernie was there, with her blonde curls. She turned to me and gave me a look of surprise.
"I was about to take this yummy breakfast to your room," she said, handing me a tray with a glass of orange juice and french toast. It was smelling so good indeed.
With my lips a little bit curved up I talked to her, "Bernie, you shouldn't have. How much did I sleep? What time is it?"
"But I did." She winked. "It's only seven and forty minutes," she said, joining me on the sofa with a smile. She was trying to be supportive I know.
"Woah! I really slept a lot. I went to bed early last night. Thank you so much for the soup, the bath, the candles and everything. Thanks for being a great roommate, friend and previous team partner."
She sighed lightly. "Won't you tell me the real reason why you're leaving the team? I'm really worried about you. I'm going to miss being with you on ice," she said while sipping a macchiato in the big mug!
"I will miss everything about it too." After a short pause and looking at my plate still intact, I opened my mouth to talk to her. "I will tell you, but please promise me you won't talk about this person anymore," I said, looking at her seriously while giving the first bite to the toast. "Holy Moly! This is so good! You know that I love when you make me french toast. You are the best!"
"It's a pleasure. You are the best friend I could ever ask for. Now please just tell me what happened. It's a whole mystery. Does Sheldon has something to do with it?"
"Yes!"
"I knew it! I knew I couldn't trust him with my best friend," she almost yelled, with bread in her mouth.
"Girl, calm down! And geez, don't do that. You know that I find it disgusting every time you open your mouth while chewing food!"
Her face dropped a little bit. "Sorry! I just don't like to hear one of my favorite people is hurt."
"No. I'm sorry I talked to you like that, but please, try to work that, it's not pretty," I said, hugging her and devouring the last piece of bread with my free hand.
I took the dish and the mug and placed them on my tray, and I walked toward the kitchen then put the the glass, mug and dishes in the sink, leaving the tray on the kitchen table. After that I took a seat by her side.
"Again, promise not to ask me a single question because I'm not willing to say more than the information I'll give to you now, and please don't talk about it again ever."
"I promise."
"Well, as I already had told you, Sheldon and I were becoming close. He had some subjects with me and we always made a team. We also used to practice every routine several times because we both loved to prepare ourselves and make sure everything would be perfect the day of our presentation"
"I know. You never asked me to practice with you, and you never let me make you company. You said it was your time to be alone, and I never insisted." While she was talking, I could sense she was a little jealous.
"Don't worry. I learned my lesson. I shouldn't allow him to come so close to me. Now let me finish please. As I was saying, his sudden "interest" in me, if we can call it that way, made me feel suspicious at the first time. I mean why would someone as good-looking as him would even talk to me that much? He is popular not only because he is in the team, but also because of his hair, his face and his body. Every girl wanted to date him - skinny girls with rock bodies, not mine. Even if I had years ice skating, I was the fat one of the team, and you know it! But he was so mysterious and reserved about almost everything including dating topic, that nobody actually knew if he was even dating someone. He was so good at tricking people, he made himself look like a sensitive, adorable, and kind of interesting weird man. He told me that he was so into me since the first time he saw me, that I was so precious to him, but that he was scared, so he never really talked to me. He talked to me about his interests, his hobbies. Everything seemed so real, but now there's nothing left. Everything was part of his plan, to destroy me. I mean he tried to because I'll find my way to go on and leave all this nonsense behind. I even didn't realize how fast everything happened, but one day I found myself in the room of a hotel with him, alone and I... and I... I gave it to him," I said almost in a whisper, feeling my eyes full, the warm and salty liquid known as tears rolled my face and I felt her hug.
"But, you don't have to feel guilty about it, Amy," she said softly, while offering me a box of tissues.
"That's the problem. I don't feel guilty or anything like that. He made me enjoy it so bad. I had the time of my life that night. I gave him my virginity, and I felt like I was ice skating. Now I realize he wanted me to fall in love with him to satisfy his macho man ego. He used me!" I took a long deep breath and tried to not cry. "After that night he called a taxi that left me in front of this department, and I had such a silly smile on my face."
"Hey! I remember that day. It was just two weeks ago. I asked you what was going on, but you wouldn't tell."
"Now you know, IT happened."
"But, I still don't understand why you quit everything because of it."
"Because after it he never spoke to me again. I didn't worry until two days had passed by. He was not going to take classes either. After a whole week of me wondering and basically suffering in silence, I found him in a dark corner talking to a really tall skinny girl so close to each other. She kissed him. I didn't see in him any interest to stop it, so I took some steps back in silence and ran away. After that he tried to talk to me about the reason of his absence, but I told him that it was none of my business, that I didn't care about it. He was asking me for an explanation, but I asked him to drop it. He made an amazement face, but I told him that he didn't need to pretend, that we'd just keep talking for the good of the team. After that he was so quiet next to me, and that's what happened. I decided to leave the team because I knew I couldn't heal if I had to be forced to share a team with him. I also hope to not be sharing any classes with him."
"I'm so sorry. I will miss you so bad. Even though I don't agree with all your actions and decisions, I will support you unconditionally. You have two shoulders to lay your head on."
"Thanks for respecting my choice."
"I know you'd do the same for me and more."
"Yes, I'm looking at the bright side. I'll finally have time to play the harp and won't never have to use the contact lenses again,. They're so uncomfortable."
She laughed so hard. "I know, but I'm so used to them I barely use the other ones."
I was so nervous. Long ago I didn't practice the only sport that had been my passion. I was asked by Principal Johnson and Coach Albert to come back to temporally replace my dear Bernie who unfortunately suffered several sprains in her right ankle. She was not going to be able to participate for three months, and there was an upcoming (and last) competition. I said that I'd give a response the next day, but Bernie blackmailed me to talk to Sheldon and tell him how miserable I was away from the ice floor. I said that I didn't care, that she wouldn't dare to do that because she had promised me not talk about it again, but she replied she didn't promise me to don't talk to him about me, or even worse, hit me hard in my head because I was being stubborn.
At the end of the day I had to accept. I really needed to do that, for her, and well secretly for me too. I was feeling emotionally stable and finally capable to make team with him, just one more time.
I was making breakfast every morning for Bernie and me. After it I'd take a quick bath. I'd prepare my body stretching it in my underwear. The suit that I used to wear for every practice was in impeccable condition. It looked like a swimming suit. Before putting it on I grabbed it close to my nose to smell its scent. With my eyes closed, I caressed the spandex fabric.
When I arrived one hour earlier than agreed with the coach, I was so nervous that I was slightly shaking. I whispered to myself to calm down, that everything will be alright. I tried to hold my tears as much as I could. I took of my sneakers and put on my thermal black ice skates and made some steps ahead. When I reached to step on the skating rink, it filled my heart. The coldness, the subtle smell of it, was amazing. I started to slide slowly on the ice. It didn't take me long to feel comfortable with the shoes and slippery surface of the ice. I started to feel more confident with my movements and tried a jump. I almost lost the balance, but I didn't fall. I kept trying until I saw Coach Albert when I was in a return. He greeted and smiled at me. I smiled back. He approached to me, giving the indications of the movements, then guided me all the time. The skating rink was not only mine any longer.
I went to practice early every morning. I really loved to practice all alone at least for an hour or two. I picked up the pace very fast. The Coach was impressed that after a year I didn't lose my moves.
One morning, after I just jumped to the icy cold surface, I heard somebody join behind me; it was Sheldon. I didn't even need to turn my head to know that. I smelled the baby powder scent.
"What on earth are you doing here?" I asked him with a quivering voice, while I kept sliding on the ice.
"The same as you, young lady, practice," he said, making circles around me as a predator staring at his prey.
"You are not that stupid. You know what I meant," I said, a little annoyed.
"Woah! There's no need to be rude. Why are you so angry at me? Maybe we should talk so you won't be mad any longer. That's the only thing I'm asking you about. It's very important to keep the environment very neat, and as an artist you know how important it is," he said, while he made me stop. He stood in front of me with his hands on his hips, stabbing me with his blue eyes and arching an eyebrow waiting for me to talk.
I felt so weak and short besides him. He was so strong and tall.
"Are you just going to ignore me?" He asked, holding his pose.
"Just step away, and while I move try to explain yourself."
"Me? Am I the one who is avoiding you, you walked away from me. Why? I want to know. I need to know. It is bugging me so bad." I looked at his face, and he really looked concerned.
"First, after what happened between us, that night, the hotel... well you know, I was aware we were not in a relationship or something like that, but I was hoping you at least will call me to... catch up or say hi or at least that you didn't like it or it was just a one night stuff. Honestly I'd be better if you at least talked to me. We'd stay as friends. Even if you were not interested in being my friend, I'd respect your decision, but instead of that you disappeared for almost a whole week. Nobody knew anything about you and then, when I finally saw you there at the end of that hall, kissing with another girl, it made me feel like the most foolish person in this world. You've played with my emotions and used me by taking my body and with it my innocence."
"Can you please go more slowly? You're almost running... away from me, as you've done all this time. I'll tell you just the truth. I understand if you don't want anything with me, but please listen to me. We have forty-five minutes before Mr. Hall comes to do our training. Are you willing to listen?"
"I think that's pretty obvious. Yes, let's get over with."
He sighed deeply as we kept moving and making circles in low speed.
"As you might know, I tend to keep a lot of things for myself. I'm not used to talking about my personal life and feelings very openly because I love to keep it private. When I sent you in the cab to your apartment, a couple of minutes later I got a phone call. It was Mary, my mother from Texas. She informed me that my Meemaw passed away that day in the morning. I was so overwhelmed that nothing in this world existed but the pain I was feeling in my chest. I talked to the principal and to the coach. They gave me a week before I had to come back. After it I took a suitcase I had done for any event like that one, and I took a train to Texas, sad and crying all the way."
I believed him. I really felt the pain coming from his words. I stopped a little and hugged him. He hugged me back, then we broke up.
He opened his mouth to talk again. I spent that week in my old room crying and thinking that one of the most important people in my life was gone, that I wasn't going to be able to listen her voice, to receive her warm hugs, and to eat her delicious homemade cookies. Before the lapse was over, I bounced up. I had to come back to the competition, and I struggled to get my emotions balanced. About what you saw, she was the one who kissed me. She took me by surprise. I honestly wasn't expecting that. I was in shock. After a couple of seconds, when I realized what she was doing, I left her standing and started to look for you. When I finally found you, you were acting odd and cold to me. It was hurtful. I felt so empty and lonely. Every time I called, you'd never answer or hung up. Last time I heard your voice you just asked me to leave you alone. After that I stopped calling for a while. Then I tried again, but I think you put my number in the auto reject calls list. I tried to convince your friend to make me come close to you, but she just told me that she'd hang me by my balls and... she's small but pretty scary. Amy, I am sooooo sorry about everything that happened, I am an idiot, could you forgive me please?"
"I do. I forgive you. Thanks for telling me all that, and I'm sorry for not listening to you before and about your dear Constance."
"You remember her name!"
"Of course! I did listen to you, but I have a doubt. Why didn't you just take a flight? You'd arrive faster to Texas."
"Well I did tell you I love trains. Besides that, flights scare me a little bit. But Amy, please know I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel used. You are different. You are smart, beautiful, talented and caring, I never wanted to be your friend. I wanted be even more, but I know I screwed it up. I should have called you and told you what happened."
My stomach was making me tickles. My heart flipped a little and was beating fast, but my mind was telling me to stop,. What if that was exactly what he wanted me to feel? What if he was playing with me? He was talking in the past tense, not present. He doesn't want you. That's a lie! You've already lost too much because of this story. Don't ruin it again with feelings and start to train!
The only thing that came out of my mouth was, "Yes! You ruined it; you totally did. Let's just be friends."
"I did ruin it, but well, let's talk about our performance. There are fifteen days left, and we have too much to do. We'll have to come for the next two or three days to practice for either hour. The Couch modified the performance. We'll have a special performance."
"Good morning! I love it when people are punctual. Let's waste no more time, and let's get started," said the coach, very cheerfully.
The day of the competition arrived, and I was pretty nervous. A long time ago, I didn't perform in front of that many people in another city. It was overwhelming. Bernie told me to relax, that I was one of the best of the team. She sat with the public with a bandage covering the injured foot and a pair of crutches. Even in those conditions, she looked so pretty.
I was in the dressing room. I took a last look in the mirror to examine my figure. I was definitely not a skinny girl, but I loved how the short, soft, purple spandex dress fit to me, hugging every curve of my body, and the sparkle, the softness, the impeccable beauty in this suit. I loved how it made me feel, so pretty, with the tiara more like a princess, and I loved it. When I joined the team, I saw him. He patted a space beside him, inviting me to sit. He smiled at me, and then we stayed in silence for our turn.
When our team was called to perform, we took over the skating rink. We danced synchronized with the rhythm of the soft ball's style music. When it was the time for Sheldon's and my "special performance", everyone danced making a circle around us. I kept turning and flipping a little bit confused but still grinning. Sheldon took my hand and led me to perform a romantic ball and kissed my neck slightly. I was even more confused. When I suddenly saw him get down while I kept dancing. I couldn't believe what was happening. When I realized his intentions, I got my hands to cover my face and cried a little. Then the most radiant smile covered my face. I extended my hand to him, and standing up put an engagement ring on my finger. Then he lifted me up, then put me down, and we kissed deeply while the music was ending. Everyone stood up and screamed and applauded.
"Honey, what are you doing? We should be in bed now. Tomorrow we have a performance. You know how strict I am with bed time," he said, kissing her neck and caressing her by her shoulders.
"Don't be silly Sheldon. Can't you see that I'm writing?"
He chuckled a little. "Very clever of you. I know you're writing, but why and what about?"
"Sweetheart, I'm just writing because I felt like doing it. I felt the urge to write "in a short way" part of our story."
"Mmm, do you call me asshole in it?"
She laughed hard. "Well, you kind of acted like it. Let me save it, and we'll go to our bedroom to sleep, because that's all what you want to do." She looked at him lewdly.
"You are a Vixen, Amy Farrah Fowler! You really read my mind."
"You are my husband, and I know you more than I've ever known anyone."
"I love you, so much."
"I love you too. Now shut up and make me yours."
"Indeed my love!"