9 ½ days
Author's note: Alright, I know that in the past I vowed to myself and others to "never, ever post any stories here on fanfiction dot net (famous last words, eh?), but I guess I should have remembered the old saying "Never say never!". A little while ago I had this bunch of silly, goofy ideas for a RE parody sprouting in my mind during a particularly prolonged eggnog drinking session around Christmas, and I always start acting and thinking in silly ways when I'm on a sugar high. My apologies.
I guess reading D.C. Douglas' blog also lead my mind astray for he is a very dirty minded and goofy person. In a good way, you know. Just read his blog and you'll know what I mean. Plus, I adore his voice. Without him, Wesker would be speechless – literally. Bless him.
Behold the many cross-references with D.C. Douglas' spoof videos of our beloved Wesker that he posted on youtube (his account name is lancebaxter for those of you willing to check it out)– I hope you've checked them both out, they're hilarious and kind of necessary for understanding some of the jokes/references in this story. There are also a few minor references to other fandoms and cartoon characters, but none of them should be too hard to understand.
Really clever readers might even notice some borrowed catch phrases from one of my favourite cartoons, "Dexter's lab". If you've ever watched tv and know a few of the more popular games out there, you'll know what's what anyway.
Be warned that I'm not liable for any sickness, brain damage, death by seizure or any other health damages caused by this completely nonsensical figment of my imagination. Do not read if you're easily offended by a rude/naughty/silly sense of humour. I'm not a native speaker, so if you find any grammatical errors or typos, please let me know and I'll do my best to fix them. Read at your own discretion. Recommended dosage may vary from reader to reader. Hope you enjoy! If not, then at least you didn't have to pay for it. Bonus!
It goes without saying that this story is completely AU and OOC and takes place somewhen in between the events of RE4 and RE5. Oh, and don't sue me. Or else I'll have to send you my flying lawyer monkeys! :P
So, here goes nothing.
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Capcom. But oh how I wish Wesker belonged to me.
Prologue
It had been one of the most work filled years that he could remember, and it was almost over since the Christmas holidays and New Year's Eve were quickly approaching. The long working hours that sometimes stretched over entire weekends were occasionally tiring - even to someone as dedicated as him (not that he would ever openly admit that). Still, all his hard work was soon going to pay off when he'd set the final gears of his plan in motion.
Little did Wesker know of what was to come and how his suffering for his two ultimate goals – creating the most destructive weapon and crushing his pesky ex-subordinate, Chris Redfield - was just about to begin.
Author's note: Please read, review & subscribe!