She couldn't pretend that it didn't worry her. The way he looked at the girl was terrifying, but, at the same time, it stopped him from looking at her in the exact same manner. She hated that she felt this way. She detested the fact that she was scared of her own flesh and blood. But she had seen the way he had watched her recently. She had seen how he would stand on the balcony of his chambers and peer down into the grounds, his narrow eyes set on the figure beneath.

She would pick up her glass of wine and watch her brother's back, her mind askew with thoughts. What was he doing? What was he thinking? The girl had been in their care for many years and the three of them had grown up as friends. But things had changed. Friendships blossomed into something more.

Lucilla remained mute, doing her best to work out what was happening between her brother and the blonde haired girl who, he said, resembled the beauty of the stars. The girl had blushed when he had spoken those words and taken her hand, laying a gentle kiss on her knuckles before brushing her hair from her face and leading her through the courtyard once more.

Observing the two of them interact together was intriguing and Lucilla could not deny that. So long as her brother remained infatuated with the ward, he did not have to set his eyes on his sister. She had sometimes felt him stare at her and it made her stomach churn. She hated herself for thinking in such a manner. The look of her brother should not make her nervous, nor should it make her ill. It should make her feel loved.

"You stare often, brother," she finally spoke, her hands moving to rest in the lap of the fine silk tunic she wore over her body.

He turned around then, looking to his sister as he felt his lips quirk upwards. He moved back towards the table on the vast balcony and took a seat. He sat down, his hands moving to pour himself another drink as he glanced to his sister.

"She is a beauty," he responded. "She always has been."

"She is also only here because our father took her in," she responded, eyeing him with intrigue and wondering what response she would gain from him. "You are aware that she will need to marry soon. She is of age and I am surprised father-"

"-She does not need to marry," he interrupted his sister and watched her for a few brief moments, also trying to weigh up what she was saying to him. Was she trying to dissuade him from the way he felt? He remained mute for a second; sipping on his drink and choosing which words he should speak. "Should she choose to marry, she shall be given the fortune of choosing her own betrothed. I suspect that is not a fortune afforded to many women."

"Perhaps not," she agreed with him. "However, you need to be aware that she shall not live with us forever."

"And who is to say that is not the case?" he asked and she could sense that he was getting angrier. His tone had changed and his face had slightly scrunched up. His sister sighed at hearing him. "Livia will have everything she requires under our care."

"That is the point I am trying to make," she responded. "She will not always be under our care. What if she wishes to leave? What if she wishes to make a life for herself? Have a husband and a child?"

He stood then, his volatile temper getting the better of him. Pushing the chair away, he swept from the chamber while his sister could do nothing but watch him leave. Shaking her head slowly, she moved to her feet and knew exactly where he would be going. Stepping towards the edge of the balcony, she hid behind a pillar and peered down into the garden courtyard, her eyes adjusting to the light.

It only took a moment before he made himself known. He swept into the courtyard and within a moment he was in front of the girl. She moved to her feet at the sight of him appearing so distressed, her hands moving to hold onto his upper arms as she soothingly stroked his skin, hoping to soothe him.

Lucilla took a deep breath and closed her eyes, bowing her head as she felt her chest heave. She was unsure what she should do. She knew the right thing to do. She had to save Livia before she was drawn in too deep. She should find her someone nice to marry; someone who would care for her and cherish her. The girl deserved that much. Lucilla only worried that she would descend into madness before she could be saved.

…

Livia had grown used to the sight of him appearing aggrieved. He would often appear to her, the usual expression on his face. She knew how to soothe him most of the time. There were occasions when he appeared unable to soothe and Lucilla would step in then. But Livia did her best. She did her best to say the words she knew he wanted to hear.

"Whatever is wrong?" she enquired, pushing herself to her feet from the marble bench as she took hold of his arms. He stood before her, his head bowed and his face scrunched up in a mixture of hurt and anger.

"Tell me it is not true," he urged from her, finally looking her in the eye as he spoke and she allowed herself to look confused as he spoke. "Tell me you have no intention of leaving."

Blinking profusely as she felt his hands take hold of her waist, scrunching up the silken blue tunic she wore, she watched him for a few moments before a soft smile played on her lips.

"What are you speaking of?" she asked of him.

"Is there someone you wish to wed?" he demanded and she had to do her best not to snort at his accusation. She only knew that would anger him more. She hated seeing him angry, just as he hated seeing her upset. "Is there a soldier who pleases you more than I?"

She shook her head with haste. "Commodus," she spoke his name in a gentle voice, daring to take his cheeks into her fingertips and hope that no one was watching them. "There is no one. What has made you think in such a manner?"

Commodus seemed to mellow then as he watched her, his eyes dropping down to the ground once more. It was another moment before she let her finger curl under his chin and lift his gaze back to hers, looking him in the eye.

"Why do you do this?" she whispered softly to him. "Why do you taunt yourself with false thoughts?"

"I do not," he responded to her with a shake of his head. "I simply listen to others."

Her brow furrowed as she listened to him. "Who has been speaking such things?"

Commodus was about to say, but he decided to keep quiet. He shook his head and let his hand move to her cheek, his fingers sweeping to tuck her hair behind her ear.

"No one," Commodus declared. "I simply heard rumours. I do not enjoy rumours. You know how they unnerve me."

"Well, they have no need to unnerve you," she responded to him, smiling widely and causing his own lips to quirk. Looking to him with intrigue, she moved forwards and kissed him softly on the cheek, her lips lingering for slightly too long as he exhaled a deep breath.

"No one knows, Livia," he said in a quiet voice. "No one knows how we feel."

"Perhaps they will one day," she responded.

"They shall," Commodus assured her as he continued to let the back of his hand run down her hair, feeling the soft locks tickle against his skin. "My father grows old, Livia. The Germanic tribes will be his final battle. I am certain of it."

"You can only hope that your father returns before the end of the war," Livia spoke. "He is your father, Commodus. I know that the both of you have not always…well…been able to get along, but he is still your father."

Commodus said nothing further. He did not wish to involve himself in this conversation. He did not wish to speak of his father for he did not want to find anger or sorrow swell up inside of him. He did not want Livia to see him weep over his father's lost love. Her own parents were unknown to her. They were a distant memory. She was only a four-year-old child when she lost them. Her father and mother had gone and Marcus Aurelius had been kind enough to take her into his care. How could he not? Her father was his most trusted advisor.

"Let us not speak in such a manner," Commodus urged from her, slowly running his other hand over her cheek. "Simply promise me that you shall not leave me."

"Commodus," she whispered his name. "I have no intention of leaving you."

"Good," he responded, slowly bending down to press his lips to her forehead as she closed her eyes and wondered exactly what she was thinking.

…

In the safety of Livia's chamber, Lucilla waited for the girl to return. She hoped that her brother would not dare venture with Livia into these rooms. Should he choose to do so then no doubt he would ruin the girl's reputation. On the other hand, Lucilla had a suspicion that her reputation was already on the way to being ruined. People were not blind and they gossiped. Lucilla cared not for gossip. She cared for the girl's safety.

The door to the chamber opened slowly and Lucilla moved from the shadows as Livia closed the door behind her. She jumped back slightly at the sight of Lucilla, her hand clenching her chest as the elder woman stepped forwards.

"We need to talk, Livia," she whispered hastily, holding her hands out.

Livia moved forwards and took hold of Lucilla hands, allowing her to guide her to sit on the end of her bed, crumpling the sheets. Lucilla was always kind to Livia. She had always looked out for her, but recently she seemed to change. She had begun to change at the same time that Commodus's relationship with Livia had changed.

"I know," Livia said as Lucilla took in the girl's wide eyes. "I know what you think, Lucilla."

"You do?" Lucilla asked, slightly surprised as she kept hold of her hands.

"You wish for me to stay away from Commodus," Livia said. "You know…you know that things have changed. I cannot deny that they have. Your brother will one day be Emperor and he will need to wed. No doubt he can have someone much better than an orphan like me."

"No," Lucilla said with haste, shaking her head back and forth, her hair splaying over her shoulders as she made the motion, her necklace jangling around her neck. "It is not that, Livia."

Livia frowned. "It is not?"

"No," Lucilla said. "I have not once considered your standing in the relationship you share with Commodus. It is the nature of your relationship with him that concerns me."

Livia took a moment to look down as Lucilla squeezed her hands even more tightly, forcing her to look back to her.

"You know, Livia," Lucialla whispered.

"I do not want to," Livia whispered to her. "I do not want to think such things."

"Yet you know them to be true," Lucilla said. "Livia, I have been married before. I have been married and I have known love. The way Commodus looks at you is not with adoration or tenderness. It is with a look of…I do not know…a look that worries me and I know it worries you."

Livia shook her head, gulping loudly as she heard Lucilla speak.

"No," she said with haste. "It does not worry me. I know Commodus, Lucilla. He cares for me and I care for him. He simply worries, that is all. He worries that we will not be able to be together."

Lucilla watched the girl and knew that she was lying to herself. She was trying to convince herself that everything was well and fine. She was lying to herself and they both knew it, only they did not dare admit it. It took a moment before Lucilla spoke, not wanting to scare Livia, but knowing she had to be honest.

"My brother is obsessed with you," Lucilla said. "I know how he watches you. I know how he speaks with you…how you need to assure him that there is no one else but him…how you are devoted to him. I worry that is not love, Livia."

Livia shook her head and took her hands from Lucilla's, moving so that her own hands rested in her lap. She closed her eyes and felt worry take over her as Lucilla saw the motion, knowing full well that she was now getting through to the girl.

"What else could it be?"

"Desire, lust," Lucilla spoke. "It could be many things, but I do not think it is love. I worry for you. I worry what will happen to you and to Commodus."

"And what would happen if I did marry someone else?" Livia asked. "We both know Commodus, Lucilla. I have grown with both of you. He is a good man. You know that he is a good man. He simply needs someone to care for him. He needs-"

"-He needs endless reassurances," Lucilla answered. "How many times have you told him that you care for him? How many times have you told him that you will not leave him? It is an obsession, Livia."

"It cannot be," Livia said, moving to her feet, arms folding over her waist. "It cannot be because I do love him, Lucilla. I love him and I know him. If he does not love me then I do not think that I could bear it."

Lucilla stood too, hands in front of her as she tried to take hold of Livia again, but the girl flailed from her. She shook her head as she tried to calm her breathing, knowing full well that she was struggling to maintain her composure.

"Perhaps…in his own way…he does love you," Lucilla decided. "But it is not healthy, Livia. The way he feels for you scares me. It scares me what lengths he will go to in order to keep you by his side."

"Is that not what I want?" Livia enquired back. "Do I not want for him to act in such a manner? Is that not what love is? Going to great lengths to keep the ones you love with you?"

"Perhaps," Lucilla agreed. "I only worry that he shall ruin you, Livia. I worry for you as I have grown with you. I have been by your side for years. I have adored you for years. I simply want to keep you safe."

"You do not think I am safe with your brother?"

Lucilla took a deep breath. "I fear that you may not be."

…

A/N: Let me know what you think!