Warning: Story contains, out of character, non-story related, and boy love.
Zanza peeked through the window seeing the baby staring at him curiously. The room was very small and filled with pictures of Shulk. There were baby toys on the floor and paint stains. Shulk was sent away from his family after they received a warning about Zanza and Grima. Darn Pit and Pit were responsible for watching over Shulk and keeping him safe. Zanza knew the two angels were dumbassess. The goddess growled once he saw the picture of Dunban. He wanted to strangle that homs. He hated the homs race and wanted to destroy them. Zanza opened the window and growled at the baby. It was his chance to kill it.
"I hate you." He hissed.
The baby turned his head smiling then giggled. The baby did not fear Zanza.
"You piece of filth!" Zanza shouted.
The baby raised his tiny arms laughing. He was wearing a diaper and had a blue pendant around his neck. He had bright blue eyes and tiny bits of blonde hair.
Zanza raised an eyebrow and flew away.
The baby started crying. Dark Pit and Pit came over.
"Why is Shulk crying!?"
Dark Pit slapped Pit.
"YAWCH!"
"He probably needs a diaper change you idiot!"
"You son of-!"
Dark Pit and Pit wrestled on the ground punching and kicking. The two angels rolled out of the room.
Grima shook his head and flew over to Shulk. He was a tiny, purple dragon. Shulk giggled and raised his tiny arms. Grima tilt his head and raised his neck to blow tiny blue fires in the air that turned into cotton candy. Shulk started laughing. The dragon flew around the room and opened the fridge by using his tail. He got the bottle of milk from the fridge and warmed it up in the microwave. He wrapped his tail around the bottle and flew over to Shulk's crib. Grima raised his tail and gave the bottle to Shulk. Shulk held the bottle and sipped the warm milk.
"Lets not fight again!"
Grima quickly flew out the window. Shulk stopped drinking his milk. His face started growing sad.
"How did he get the milk!?"
Dark Pit picked up Shulk and wondered how he got a new diaper on.
"He's a smart baby..."
Shulk threw up in Dark Pit's face.
"AHHHHHH!"
Pit fell down laughing.
Zanza shook his head. He was standing near a tree.
"I hate kids."
He turned his head once he heard movement. He looked down seeing a child with white hair. The child appeared to be around 4 years old. He had a warm smile on his face. The child had a black jacket, brown eyes, and wearing white trousers with brown boots.
"Now, now, go away!" Zanza ordered.
The child stepped closer unafraid.
Zanza tried hissing but that only made the child laugh.
"Go on! Shoo! Shoo!" Zanza shouted.
The child hugged the goddess's legs. Zanza looked down. His mouth slightly opened. The hug felt like warmth and innocence. He picked up the child. Their eyes met. Zanza could see curiosity in his eyes. The child raised his arms and messed with Zanza's halos. He carefully put the child down and ruffled his hair. The child happily ran away giggling. Grima landed on Zanza's shoulder. He jumped off and transformed into his human form. His hair was black. He had pure red eyes, six purple eyes on his cheeks, and was wearing a purple jacket with black trousers.
"Those two angels don't know how to babysit." Grima said.
Zanza popped his neck and crossed his arms.
"Why are you watching over that little brat anyways?" Zanza said.
"Why not? I'm not scared of children like you." Grima replied.
"What's that suppose to mean?" Zanza asked.
"Nothing. Are you okay?" Grima said.
Zanza sighed.
"No. I hate being immortal..." Zanza said.
"I forgot how old I was. I think I passed 2,000 years..." Grima said.
Zanza punched Grima in the neck that did not seem to do any damage.
"You're supposed to kidnap Shulk and kill him!" Zanza hollered.
Grima fixed his neck by pushing the bone back in place.
"Why? And what is stopping you from killing him?" Grima said.
"I don't know!" Zanza shouted.
"He might die because of how poor those two angels are." Grima said.
Grima got an idea.
"Maybe I should kidnap him so I can raise him myself!" Grima said.
Zanza grabbed Grima's arm.
"Wait, wait. Are you getting attached to that worthless homs!?" Zanza said.
"He's an innocent baby! What else you want me to do!?" Grima said
"Why the hell do you want to raise that worthless baby!? All they do is poop and cry!" Zanza yelled.
Grima gave Zanza a stern look.
"I wonder how your parents felt when you gave them hell..."
Dark Pit scratched his head.
"At least he stopped crying!"
The dark angel sat down on the couch sighing.
"Why did we have to babysit!?"
Pit sat next to him.
"Because we're good people!"
Dark Pit covered his face and shook his head.
"That's the most dumbest answer I've ever heard!"
The two angels were inside the kitchen arguing again not realizing Shulk was crying. Zanza growled and used his magic to shut them up. He removed their voices. He covered his mouth from laughing as the two angels were trying to scream out their words.
Shulk was lying inside his crib crying his eyes out. He needed a diaper change. Grima flew inside his room making plane noises. He flew around Shulk's face in circles making him laugh. He changed into his human form and picked up the baby. Shulk raised his arms up and messed with Grima's black hair along with his horns. Grima started purring. Grima quickly changed his diaper and held Shulk in his arms. He swayed his arms left and right.
"I'm surprised you do not fear me." Grima whispered. "I look ugly as hell..."
Shulk giggled.
Grima look at himself in the mirror and waved.
"Hi handsome!"
The mirror cracked.
"Well screw you to!"
Grima began to sing which was just his dragon howling. Shulk slowly closed his eyes.
Zanza evilly laughed as he watched Dark Pit enter the bathroom. He was holding fireworks in his hands. The goddess peeked his head and waited until the door was closed. Pit was outside hanging clothes on the line. Zanza smirked. He could not believe how stupid the two angels were. They did not even notice Zanza and Grima were inside their home which was a small cabin. Zanza snuck over to the bathroom door. He carefully grabbed the knob and quietly turned it trying not to make so much noise. He crouched down and heard the shower running. He lightly laughed and lit the fireworks. The goddess tossed it in the air over the shower curtains then dashed off hearing Dark Pit screaming like a girl. He slammed the door and heard a loud thud. Zanza quickly dashed into Shulk's room and told Grima they had to go. Grima was too busy making Shulk laugh. He was holding two sock puppets of him and Zanza kissing. Zanza slapped his face and shook his head.
"We have to go Grima!" Zanza said.
Grima was tickling Shulk.
"Who's a happy boy!? Who's a happy boy!?" Grima hoarsely said.
Zanza got an idea that would probably make Grima infuriated.
"God damn pedophile!" Zanza growled.
Grima stopped what he was doing and gently placed Shulk inside his crib. The goddess could see flame inside Grima's eyes.
"What the hell did you call me?" Grima started growling.
Horns began forming on his forehead. His upper lip was sticking up and his fangs grew longer.
"Lets go!" Zanza ordered.
"You're right." Grima hissed.
Grima and Zanza blasted out of the window throwing random punches. Growling and grunts could be heard from far away. The two goddesses rolled down a hill still throwing punches. Shulk was too busy laughing.
"Yo, Pit!" Dark Pit yelled.
Pit turned his head.
"What?" Pit said.
"You forgot this!" Dark Pit yelled.
Dark Pit threw the dynamite at Pit.