*Hello, fellow Teen Titans fans! I've been scrolling through to see who pairs Raven with whom, and I haven't found much (in all honesty, I only found one) relating to her and Charles Watkins (Kilowatt). There are pages and pages (and yes, I have submitted one) of her and Garfield (Beast Boy). Honestly, I used to ship BBRae hardcore until I started reading about Charles Watkins (Kilowatt). In Issue #48 of the Go! Comics called 'Teen Tyrants', Raven rescues Kilowatt from his own dimension when she heard his distress call. Please, I recommend taking the time to read it. But this made me see another possible relationship that is unlike anything else I've seen or read about. And, I do owe this outlook to a good friend of mine. This piece takes a few days or months before the episode of the animated series, 'How Long is Forever?'. If you are an animated TT fan like myself, you will understand how sad it was to see Raven in a mental institution. That, ladies and gentleman, is where I am going off of. Please enjoy and R&R!*
*Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans or any of its characters.*
*For Joel.*
Loneliness Itself
There she stood, clad in her white cloak. She was looking at nothing, as usual. Her hood hid her once lit amethyst eyes. She chanted her usual mantra over and over again, blocking out the room around her. It had been years since she checked herself into the mental institution. The nurse should be coming in any second now…
A woman wearing navy blue scrubs walked in. "Miss Raven?" Her voice held its usual dry tone.
Raven didn't acknowledge her. She kept her back to her. What medication would they force down her throat this time?
"I've come to give you this." She held a clear plastic cup of milky liquid.
"Nothing works here," Raven muttered slowly.
The woman persisted. "Please, Miss Raven. We only want to help you."
The white cloaked woman turned around slowly. "With what?"
The nurse sighed, having to answer this question every day. "You checked yourself in 3 years ago because you believed your friends were never real and that you were crazy to think of all those scenarios with them."
"Friends…they were never there…" she breathed slowly.
The nurse held the cup to former titan's lips. "Take this," she urged softly.
Raven took the cup and drank the bittersweet liquid. She handed the empty cup back the nurse.
"I'll bring your breakfast down soon," the woman left her there, in the bright white room.
Her head started to spin slightly and her vision blurred. She hated the medication. She hated how they tried to treat her. She remembered a conversation she had with one of the other residents. They kept telling her how she used to be such an amazing super hero with these so-called, 'Teen Titans'.
She scoffed. They were never really there. She realized this one day when one of the figments disappeared. One-by-one, they all started leaving. Her mind had finally cleared. She was alone. She always had been, and she always will.
She opened her eyes slowly and walked toward the bed. She looked at her hands and sighed. "I am loneliness itself," she said to herself.
She was starting up again. All of the residents, nurses, and doctors knew this. Every morning, Raven would repeat, 'I am loneliness itself', for an hour.
Tears streamed down her cheeks as she did so. The doctors sighed in defeat at hearing her. Once again, the medication failed.
After she had finished, the same nurse walked in, carrying a tray of food. "Please eat, Miss Raven." She set the tray on her lap.
Raven stared at the plate of eggs and bacon. Her eyes landed on the carton of orange juice.
"I'll give you a few minutes," she said as she walked out.
She took a small bite out of the eggs and grimaced. She never liked this kind of food. She pushed away the tray and stood up. She faced the wall, not saying a word.
She heard the door open and she sensed the presence of one of the doctors. She stiffened.
"Miss Roth," he called out.
"What," she asked bitterly.
"We are becoming very concerned with your mental state…in the last few months, you have been referring to your friends as never existing. This is news to us and we wish to understand why."
"…Friends?"
"Yes, your friends," he said clearly.
"My friends…there are no such thing…" she said slowly.
"Miss Roth, if you could just take the time to listen to what I have to say," he reached out for her.
The moment he did, she put up a wall of black energy.
He took a step back. "I see…." He wrote a few things down on a clipboard and left the room.
Raven sighed and chanted her mantra. "Azarath…Metrion…Zinthos…"
She spent the rest of her day floating through the halls of the hospital, glancing at the other residents and playing chess with her nurse.
That night, she crawled into her small bed and stared at the ceiling. Tears streamed down her face and she closed her eyes. "Help…me…" she whispered.