IT'S THE NOT-SO-GREAT PUMPKIN, WALTER O'BRIEN
AN: Happy Halloween to the whole cyclone! This little story is my 'treat' to you.
oxoxoxoxoxo
She could sometimes admit to herself that life wasn't the same as it used to be. Good things were happening all around her, but somewhere along the way, everything got… boring and lackluster. It felt hollow. She felt empty. And it seemed especially true as the holidays approached.
Paige wasn't in a particularly festive mood, but she'd faked it and donned the tiny witch hat exclusively for Ralph's benefit. The accessory had earned her a small, lop-sided grin from her thirteen year-old. His response was a real boon since he typically spent most days holed-up in his room and only spoke when absolutely necessary. She made up her mind to take what was offered and be grateful.
The sun hadn't quite set when the first knock of the evening echoed through the living room. She sighed and paused 'It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown'. Grabbing the jack-o-lantern shaped candy bowl, Paige tacked on a smile and opened the door to a little Elsa from 'Frozen', a miniature pirate and a bunch of grapes.
"Trick or Treat!" The costumed tots chorused excitedly, holding out their bags for candy.
As she distributed the sweets, she noticed a grown man hovering at the back of the clutch of kids. Assuming he was the children's father, she gave him a sympathetic smile.
His costume was much worse than her witch wear. The man was dressed head to toe as Super Fun Guy; tights, cape, rubber chicken, whoopee cushion and all. He even had a mask featuring eyeballs on springs that dangled and swayed with the slightest movement.
She admired any adult who would dress up for a kid's sake. How many times had she done the very same thing? Thirteen Halloweens and counting.
It didn't hurt that this guy happened to have a smokin' hot body too, if a little on the skinny side. The tight outfit did wonders highlighting his assets. He strongly reminded her of…
She stopped herself, refusing to go there.
With thanks tossed over their shoulders as an afterthought, the kids scrambled to the next door down from Paige's. The 'dad' didn't move on with them though. It was only then she noticed her neighbor, obviously the kids' actual parent, watching from an open door at the end of the hallway.
She flashed a suspicious frown at Super Fun Guy. What the…?
"Um… Trick or-or Treat?" The masked crusader tried cautiously.
Paige would recognize that voice anywhere. Probably for the rest of her days.
Regret and longing swept over her. She hid it with a healthy dose of indignation. Maybe her witch costume fit her in more ways than one.
"Walter? What the hell are you doing here?" Paige demanded sharply.
He took a halting step forward. "I'm sorry. I wanted… to-to see if…"
Glancing through the springs, his dark eyes searched hers. The ridiculous attire somehow made her angrier. Seeing him dressed like that was so impossibly cute. And she hated she still found so him attractive after all this time. It pissed her off that she missed him so much. The lying idiot. Like she'd taught him to do...
Her temper must have shown in her face, because Walter's chin dropped. He mumbled, "Never mind. It was a stupid idea. Forgive the disturbance."
With those words, he turned to leave, his yellow cape fluttering forlornly and settling around his back like a shroud.
Paige watched him go.
She watched as he dragged his feet all the way to the elevator. She watched him press the down button. She watched as the door slowly slid open.
Nope. She couldn't do it.
"Walter, wait!" She called.
His head snapped up instantly sending the phony eyeballs bouncing comically. His real eyes looked so hopeful behind that stupid mask Paige couldn't stand it.
Sensing the interested gaze of her suddenly nosy neighbor, she stood to one side and gestured for him to come in. No matter why he was there, Paige didn't want to play out this little scene in front of an audience.
Shutting the door behind them, she asked, "So. Do you want to tell me what this is about?"
As Walter drew breath to answer, Paige waved her hand impatiently at the mask and halted him before he could say anything. "Would you mind taking that thing off? It's distracting."
"Oh, uh, sure."
He quickly yanked the mask over his head.
A little too quickly.
One springy eyeball got tangled in his hair and he winced. The mask hung limply, made even more awkward looking as it drooped beside his ear. He tugged at it futilely, hissing in pain as it only pulled tighter.
Feigning exasperation, Paige said on a sigh, "Here. Let me."
Walter bent his head as she stepped closer to him. She shut her eyes for a second and surreptitiously inhaled. He smelled exactly the same as Paige remembered. So deliciously good. So familiar. So safe.
Deftly she separated the knot of hair which was wrapped around the offending spring, her fingers trembling ever so slightly at the brush of his soft curls against her knuckles.
He'd let those curls grow out a little bit.
She'd always loved his hair. It was as irresistible now as it ever was. Likely more so because she knew she shouldn't want to touch him as much as she did.
She couldn't help herself. Holding the mask in one hand, she let the fingers of her other hand comb through the silky strands above his ear using the flimsy excuse of smoothing them back into place.
Walter closed his eyes and leaned into her touch.
Paige snatched her hand away, biting her lip. What the hell was wrong with her? She slapped the mask to his chest and he placed a palm over it, taking it back, and unintentionally trapping her fingers for an instant over his rapidly thumping heart.
She felt like the universe was playing a trick on her, but then he treated her to a crooked smile and a soft, "Thanks for that," before freeing her hand and stepping back.
They stood there staring at each other for a few more heartbeats then he shifted nervously and his eyes darted around the room. Eventually, he pointed toward the TV where The Great Pumpkin was paused right at the part where Charlie Brown got his second rock. "So, is that your way of honoring your dad?"
Grateful for the distraction and touched by his ability to recall the personal things she'd once shared with him, she replied with a wistful smile, "Oh, um. Yes. It's family tradition, you know."
Yes, he would know.
Paige motioned toward the couch. "Do you want to sit?"
"I actually came by to see if I could go trick or treating with Ralph… for a little while. If-if you didn't have, um, other plans. It's just… it's been a really long time since I've seen him."
It had been a long time. And he'd put on that stupid costume for her son. How inconveniently adorable was that?
She was both gladdened by his words and… disappointed that he was only there to see her son. In fact, her emotions were all over the place.
"Well, Ralph's not here."
Walter's expression went as flat as the mask he held squashed in one fist.
She started to explain further, but another knock sounded on her door. "Just a sec…"
For some reason, she felt impatient to get back to Walter before he decided to bolt or something, so she handed out candy as fast as possible then all but shooed the little fire fighter and a tiny tutu-ed ballerina away.
"You're busy. I'll go," he said, appearing unsure.
"No!" she said more vehemently than intended. "Ralph is at the Science Club party. He's an officer this year, so he had to help with the set up. Truth be told, I had to practically force him to go. He pretty much doesn't want to go anywhere these days." Paige didn't know why she'd admitted that. The words came tumbling out of her mouth without permission.
Concern filled Walter's face. "Is he alright?"
Another knock. Damn it.
Paige practically shoved the treats at the children and shut her door a little too hard. She switched off her outside light.
Walter looked at her oddly.
"C'mon, Walter. Have a seat. Let's talk."
He paused, frowning in confusion, then walked around the couch and sat.
Another loud knock.
Paige opened her door, set the bowl on the ground and shut the door again all before the kids could even finish saying the usual words. Next, she switched off all the lights.
"Um, Paige?"
"What? I was only contributing to tooth decay and juvenile diabetes anyway, right? And they were never going to leave me alone long enough to complete a sentence, never mind have a conversation." She finished in a stage whisper, "So we'll have to pretend no one's home."
Besides, it really was hard seeing happy families having fun together. Paige's father was right. It made her feel lonely. Left her wishing for what used to be. What could've been.
Except she wasn't alone any more. At least for the moment.
"Can I get you something to drink? Oh, and help yourself to the popcorn on the coffee table. It's fresh."
Without waiting for an answer, Paige bustled to the kitchen and fixed them both a cup of the hot cider she was keeping warm in a crock pot. In the dark, she felt around on the counter for the jar of cinnamon sticks and dropped one each into the steaming mugs of fragrant juice. Holding them by their handles in one hand, she grabbed the plate of Halloween cut out sugar cookies with the other.
Walter accepted a mug and a cookie with a bemused, 'Thanks'.
They both nibbled and sipped in silence for a few seconds until he finally prompted, "You were telling me about Ralph. Before the last group of trick or treaters."
Paige nodded. "He's… not doing great." At Walter's alarmed look, she hurried to elaborate. "No. Ralph is healthy. His grades are fine. But, if I'm going to be strictly honest, he's not happy."
She chewed her bite of cookie thoughtfully. "I don't know if it's just teenage boy stuff, or whether he's still having a tough time… with what happened… you know to, uh, Scorpion and stuff. Or a combination of the two. He doesn't talk to me about anything much any more. It's almost as bad as it was before we met you," Paige confessed, a worried frown creasing her forehead.
A haunted look passed over Walter's face. "I could try talking to him," then he added hastily, "If you want me to."
Paige's heart squeezed painfully. There was a time Walter wouldn't have needed to ask for her consent before speaking to her son.
She felt stupid tears sting her eyes, partly from relief because she'd finally admitted out loud her life wasn't perfect and partly because she missed the family they'd built together. It shouldn't have been so fragile. She saw so clearly how much of a mistake it was to throw it all away for something that seemed so insignificant in retrospect.
"That would be great," was all she could manage.
Walter set his mug down on one of her coasters and stood up as if to leave. "I'll, uh, call tomorrow if that's okay. Maybe take him out for dinner or something? Thanks for the, uh…" He gestured at his half empty mug.
"Sure."
When his hand was reaching for the doorknob, for the second time that evening, she stopped him before he could go.
"Walter? Why don't you stay?" Paige heard herself asking, "We could watch the rest of The Great Pumpkin and go pick Ralph up from the party together. Then maybe you guys could go trick or treating for a little while afterwards? Would that work for you?"
He paused and she found herself holding her breath, waiting for his reply.
"Okay."
Thank God.
Walter sat back down on the couch, holding himself a little stiffly. After a while, she scooted over close by him, laying her cheek against his shoulder. Next she found herself blurting out the whole awful truth.
"I'm so sorry. I was wrong. And-and stupid," Paige murmured around the tight knot in her throat, "We were a family. The one I always dreamed about when I sat with my dad watching this stupid show. I never should have left you. I hate not having you around. Nothing is the same. Nothing feels right."
"Me too. I didn't know how to tell you or even if-if you'd want to hear it. But I miss this. Miss you. Do you think we could start over? I'm still in love with you. I don't think I'll ever be able to stop. Will you show me how to love you better?"
Eyes streaming, Paige nodded, "I'd like that. But only if you'll do the same. Show me how I can love you better."
"All you'd need to do is stay."
Walter pulled the rubber chicken and whoopee cushion from his belt and discarded them on the coffee table. He started to wrap his arms around her, then had to stop momentarily to remove her witch hat, because it was threatening to poke his eye out. When all that was done, he pulled her close and kissed the top of her head as she sniffled and stifled a watery giggle in his cape.
"How about we start by observing a time-honored family tradition."
With that, Walter cuddled Paige close, picked up the remote and hit play.