A/N: I in no way have ruined the Miraculous Ladybug fandom again. There's absolutely no way that is currently happening.
Also if anyone out there is a Kpop fan you should totally read a fanfiction called Min Yoongi and the Slow Descent Into Madness. It's some good shit.
Cat Nerd and Ladybubs could only watch in horror as skater girl's brother chanted what was written on the papyrus. The papyrus in no way had anything intelligible written on it. In fact, it sounded like a bunch of names.
" Santo Rita Mita Meada Ringo Jonah Tito Marlon Jack La Toya Janet Michael Dumbledora The Explorer. Santo Rita Mita Meada Ringo Jonah Tito Marlon Jack La Toya Janet Michael Dumbledora The Explorer" he chanted, confusing everyone that was not in the Hetalia fandom.
The papyrus tore itself out of the akuma's grip and started floating in the air. A bright light starting filling the area. A kind of bluish light. But that's not really the important part.
Ladybubs and Cat Nerd gasped, when out of the blue light something was coming out. Oh my god the Pharaoh was going to have a bunch of minions to help him sacrifice Tumblr blogger girl to the Egyptian gods! NUUU HOW COULD DIS HAPPEN? They held their breath as the object coming out was finally starting to take form.
OH MY GOD IT WAS!
IT WAS!
...a...car.
That's right readers, a motherfucking car just straight up came out of an ancient Egyptian papyrus. The Pharaoh tried to look at the papyrus to see where he had gone severely wrong. Nothing was visible since there was a bright light and a car coming out of the thing. What exactly is the point of this? Good question! Here we go!
Following the car came a reject Santa Clause, super sonic Tracy Sketchitt, a girl in a gigantic mechanic suit, little Timmy's first OC, a woman in large body armor and a bootlegged version of Ryuk from the anime Death Note. The fate of the portal was left unknown and no further questions were asked about it.
All the people following the car seemed very confused. Clearly this was not what they were doing before. And if any of you know where this is going...I'm so sorry. I'm terribly sorry Junkrat.
"What just happened?" asked the bootlegged Ryuk. His accent reminded Cat Nerd of the Crocodile Hunter. Though the man's robotic limbs and lack of hair was kind of unsettling. Speaking of unsettling, little Timmy's first OC was standing...breathing heavily...and facing the two super heroes. Oh man this isn't going to end well.
"I...think we were just called upon by someone." Tracy replied.
No fucking shit Tracer, way to state the obvious. God fucking damnit this is why people hate you.
Okay now we get the obligatory real explanation of who the fuck these people are. I don't really want to explain but, again, this is obligatory. No one really knows why, nor does anyone really fucking care. You're all just supposed to suffer with me as I write the shittiest exposition ever for Overwatch.
Reject Santa Clause is actually a Swedish dwarf named Torbjorn and a Defense hero. He can make turrets of death and is one of the cheapest characters in the game. Still, everyone uses him since there's no character everyone hates more than Bastion. (At least I think he's a dwarf. Don't quote me on that.)
Super sonic Tracy is actually Tracer, but I think you got that from my last sentence before the obligatory exposition. She's British and annoying. STOP FUCKING GIGGLING YOU'RE TWENTY FUCKING SIX! GOD AND PEOPLE CALL 'S VOICE ANNOYING! FUUUUUUCK!
Anyways, Tracer is one of the offense heroes. She's kind of OP since she can go zip zop zippity bop around the map and turn back time. (Sound familiar? Timetraveller or whatever her name was.)
Giant pink mech girl is the person you turn the sound off for. Her voice lines are very cringey since she's the representation of professional gamers. (Oh hey nerd kid I didn't know you were DVa.) Yes, mech girl's name is DVa. She's the South Korean tank. Too much aegyo, too much.
Bootlegged Ryuk is actually my boo, Junkrat. The best character in the game. Totally not over powered. Best Defense player you will ever meet. He may or may not be obsessed with blowing things up, and he may or may not be a convicted criminal. (I still love you Junkrat.) Seriously though, he's the Australian pyromaniac who people are sure is only there because Overwatch was starting to take whoever they could get.
Lil' Timmy's first OC is actually named Reaper. He likes shouting 'Die. Die. Die' and likes killing people. He hates Overwatch, but hates losing and the Red team even more. No one really knows what he's doing here. No one questions it either. He's the Offense character with the best dying sound. It's just "ow."
And finally we have Ms Battle armor. She looks like a bootlegged Samus Aran. Be careful because you'll hear her ultimate A LOT. Since Pharah seems to be the only character to actually do stuff in the match, besides Junkrat and Mercy. Thanks Offense team.
The Pharaoh coughed a few disgusting sounding coughs, trying to get the team's attention. They all turned around to see a boy wearing a ridiculous costume that seemed to be mocking Pharah's culture. She frowned.
"I am the Pharaoh. Loyal minions, I need you to steal the jewelry off children for some weird man who talk to people through butterflies." he said.
Pharah continued to look at him in pure disgust, while the others, sans Reaper, continued to look on with extremely confused looks on their faces. No one could see Reaper's face. No one wanted to see his face. No one asked for this to happen...except maybe the Pharaoh but I'm telling you now this is not going to end well for him at all.
"I will protect the innocent. You mock my country." Pharah said.
"Did you not listen to a word I said? You are my minions. You will do as I say." the Pharaoh commanded.
"Yeah about that. We have a payload to escort and some people to shoot. Since every single one of us hates the red team and we don't want to lose, I'd suggest sending us back to where we belong so we can rub our victory in the red team's face." Junkrat replied.
"You. MOCK. My. Country." Pharah said again.
Cat Nerd and Ladybubs were ready to rush in and save the day, but were stunned by Pharah flying up in the air and screaming, "JUSTICE RAINS FROM ABOVE!"
The Rocket Barrage came flying down upon the Pharaoh and Chloe who happened passing by at that moment, most definitely ending both of their lives.
The deaths clearly were triggering for Reaper and he started shouting, "DIE. DIE. DIE!" and began shooting randomly everywhere. The rest of the team released their ultimates too for some reason, leading to the complete destruction of Paris and the deaths of everyone residing in it. Junkrat seemed to be the most pleased with his work, smiling with a "It's a perfect day for some mayhem."
" DVa 1! Bad guys 0." DVa said.
"My beautiful turret." Torbjorn whispered, stroking the metallic object.
Tracer blinked, looking around Paris which was now reduced to rubble - aside from the papyrus.
"Seriously guys. How are we getting home?" asked Tracer.
Min Yoongi woke up with a start, completely disoriented by his surroundings. He had no idea what the fuck he just dreamed or why he dreamed it.
He began to sit up on the bed, only to notice a strange floating rock in front of him.
"OH FOR FUCKS SAKE!" Yoongi screeched.