Disclaimer - I do not own Glee or any of its characters, I only own my original character and her family.
Reviews are appreciated, please let me know if you like it.
Does anyone know how it feels when it seems like the entire world and all of the cosmos is against you? When the life you have known for 17 years suddenly ends and you are thrust into a world you have never known before? How you find the missing half of your soul in the last person you ever expected, only to realize that you can never have them.
I'm hoping by telling the world my story, it will help others who are in the same situation to never give up, because you never know how your life is going to turn out. Sometimes life pulls you backwards, but just like an arrow, life will shoot you in a better direction, and if you believe enough, you just might hit your target.
My name is Belladonna Rose, and this is my story.
My life started out like anyone else's, a young girl with dreams of being a star, an older brother whom I idolized, a mother who was more beautiful than any woman I had ever seen, and a father who treated me like the princess of his world.
Ever since I was young I knew I was going to be a star. I was what my grade school choir teacher called a triple threat. I could sing, dance and act. My parents realized early on that I had a passion for performing, so like any supportive parents they did all they could to supply me with opportunities. They enrolled me in choir, dance classes and drama to further my education in the arts. I attended every concert and competition in California, my parents taking time off of work to drive me wherever I needed to be.
By the time I turned 16 I had won every competition I had entered and was well on my way to Hollywood when I graduated high school.
And that was when tragedy struck.
On the night of my final concert of junior year at the Winter Formal, my parents were driving to the school when their car was struck head on by a drunk driver, killing both of them instantly.
From that point my life spiraled out of control, I quit singing, dancing and acting. I started lashing out at everyone around me. I was angry all the time. And the worst part of all, was that no one understood. It was all my fault. My parents died because of me, and that was something that I had to live with for the rest of my life.
After a month my brother decided it would be best if I moved in with my grandparents. I was growing more belligerent and difficult for him to deal with. He felt that a change of scenery might help me heal. Truthfully I couldn't wait to get out of California, all it held for me anymore was painful memories and loss.
So here I sit on a plane bound for the tiny town of Lima, Ohio, where my mother's parents now lived. I wondered what life in a small town would bring me. Would it bring me more pain, or would it finally be the place where my heart could heal. Only time would tell.
As I disembarked the plane I found my grandparents Tanya and Allen awaiting me. I gave them a small smile, one that barely turned up the corners of my mouth before I hugged them both.
"Oh sweetheart. It is so good to see you." My nana said as she held me out at arms length. "You are beautiful, just like your mother."
"Thank you, nana." I said softly, I hadn't spoken much in the last month and if I did it was no more than a whisper. I used to be so outspoken, my voice projected so that everyone knew when I walked into a room. But now I had no reason to stand out, now I just wanted to disappear.
As we pulled into the driveway of their house I noticed how small and quaint it was, a big change from the large house I once lived in. I got out of the car and took notice of the silence surrounding me. No cars going by, no noisy city sounds, just peaceful silence and it was surprisingly calming.
I noticed as I was approaching the porch that the neighbor's house, also a two story like my grandparents, was only about 15 feet apart from my new home. A tall sturdy oak tree sat in between the two homes, large thick branches connecting the two almost like a bridge.
"Hey."
I turned to see a boy about my age and height, with black hair step off of the porch next door. He was cute with a pleasant voice that rolled off of me like honey. He was definitely my type with his hair slicked back, but as I noticed the tightness of his red pants, the white polo shirt and the adorable polka dot bowtie to complete the outfit I knew instantly that he was playing on my side of the fence. For those who don't understand that expression, it means that he's gay and therefore not attainable by me.
Forcing a smile as I had to do ever since my parent's deaths I approached the small knee high fence that separated the two yards.
"You must be my new neighbor."
"Yeah." I said softly holding out my hand. "I'm Belladonna Rose."
He grasped my hand, both of us noticing the small tingle that went up our arms as our skin touched, and smiled. "I'm Blaine Anderson."
After talking with Blaine for a few minutes I discovered that he was in fact gay, he had a boyfriend named Kurt and he was part of the Glee Club at McKinley High where I would be starting school that Monday. It was nice to know that I would have a friend at school and judging from what Blaine was telling me I would have more when he introduced me to his friends.
Bidding him goodbye after agreeing that we could walk to school together I went inside to settle in. Dragging my suitcase up the staircase I followed my grandparents to my new room. It was on the far left side of the house and surprisingly very large. My furniture had already been delivered and set up by my grandparents. I set my things on the bed and looked around the room.
"If you don't like where things are, feel free to move them around pumpkin." My papa said. "Your closet is right there and you have your own bathroom through that door."
"It's great. Thank you, papa." I said hugging him.
"So, I see you met the neighbor boy." My nana said smiling.
"Yeah, I did. He seems nice. He's gonna walk me to school on Monday."
"He's a very sweet boy, and that boyfriend of his is adorable. We have them and his parent's over every Sunday for game night."
"That sounds like fun."
"Well, we will let you get settled in. I'll call you when dinner is ready." Nana said as she kissed my forehead. "I'm so glad you're here, Bella. We both are."
"I'm glad too." I said before they exited my room and shut the door.
I sighed as I looked around my room taking note of where everything is. Through the doorway the bathroom is to my right and the closet is to my left. My bed was set up against the back wall to my right which was fine with me, closer to the bathroom. My L shaped desk sat tucked into the left corner of the room in front of me. And a large bay window was directly across the room in front of me.
Feeling the need for music I unpacked my stereo and sat it on the shelf above my bed. Hooking up my auxiliary cord I plugged my phone into it and turned on my music, letting the songs shuffle through. As I was bobbing my head along to The Vamps, one of my favorite bands, I started to unpack my clothes from my suitcase and I heard a shout from outside of my window.
Looking to my left I saw Blaine standing in the window of the house next door. He waved to me as I approached my window and opened both of the panes.
"Hey, neighbor." He smiled. "You know, you look like this ridiculously cute girl I met earlier today."
"Is that right?" I said raising my eyebrows.
"Yeah. She uh…" He placed his hand over his heart. "…she totally stole my heart."
And right then for the first time since my parent's passed, I smiled.
For the rest of the day Blaine sat on his windowsill talking to me while I unpacked and situated my things. He told me about how he had transferred schools to be with Kurt and I in turn told him that my parent's had died and that was how I ended up here. I hadn't talked to anyone about them since they had died, but Blaine was so understanding and easy to talk to that I didn't have any reservations about telling him.
Just before I went down to dinner Blaine told me about an open mic night that was being held at the local restaurant Breadsticks later that night. I had told him about my love of singing, but how I had lost the will when my parent's died. Smiling understandably, Blaine nodded moving back inside the window, but before he shut it he told me something that hit me in my heart.
"You know, even though they're in heaven, I'm sure they'd still love to hear you sing."
All through dinner I thought about Blaine's words, he was right. My parent's had loved to hear me sing, whether it was in a concert, competition or sitting around the house on a Saturday night. After dinner I had made up my mind, and after telling my grandparent's where I was going I went upstairs to get dressed.
After I was ready I picked up my car keys and walked outside to my vintage Candy Apple Red, 67' Shelby Mustang. It had been my 16th birthday gift from my parent's, the last thing they ever gave me and now my only reminder of what had been. Driving through town I thanked the lord that Blaine had told me how to get there, I found the restaurant in no time and pulled into the parking lot.
As I walked inside I noticed the majority of patrons were teens, most likely my future classmates. Glancing around I found Blaine sitting in a back corner booth surrounded by 8 other teens, one seated at the end of the table in a wheelchair. I debated going over and saying hi, but my sudden shyness that I had no idea where it came from prevented me from doing so. Seeing the hostess I walked up and told her I wanted to sign up for the open mic. Smiling at me she wrote my name down and then directed me to the stage where a young blonde girl was just finishing up.
As the patrons clapped I sat down behind the piano, I adjusted the mic in front of me, then flexing my fingers I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. I hadn't sung in over a month, I was nervous. I cleared my throat earning my attention from the guests.
"Um, hi, I'm Belladonna."
Hearing my name Blaine looked up, our eyes locking from across the room. He gave me a warm smile and nodded silently giving me the strength I needed to do this.
"This song is dedicated to my parent's who passed away. A friend told me that even though they're gone, they can still hear me." I didn't want to share what exactly was said between Blain and myself, that was our memory alone. "So, this is for them."
Blaine smiled as Belladonna started to play a soft melody on the piano, he was so proud of her for doing this, he knew it must take a lot to drum up the courage to sing.
Every day I drive to work across Flint River bridge
A hundred yards from the spot where me and grandpa fished
There's a piece of his old fruit stand on the side of Sawmill Road
He'd be there peelin' peaches if it was twenty years ago
And what I wouldn't give
To ride around in that old truck with him
Blaine smiled, closing his eyes he listened to her sultry voice wash over him. It was different from how he heard her speak, her voice was always so quiet and soft, but hearing her sing was the opposite. Her voice was commanding, she made you sit up and take notice of her. He could only describe it as a cross between Lauren Alaina and Katy Perry.
She was a force of nature, even if she didn't realize it. She was beautiful, not in a model way, but the sweet girl next door, the one that all the guys wanted, but couldn't have. She wasn't the one night stand or date her for awhile, she was the marrying kind. The one you came home to after a long day that just made you feel like you were something more than you were. Blaine knew that if he was straight, Bella would be the one he'd spend the rest of his life with.
He loved the way her eyes lit up when she talked about her family. The way her waist length brown hair fell around her in waves as she moved. The way the corner of her mouth curled up into a tiny smirk when she was thinking about something. And he loved her style, not flashy or expensive, she could care less about labels. He realized when he looked into her closet that her wardrobe consisted of mainly jeans, t-shirts and tank tops. She didn't wear high heels like most of the girls he knew, she loved sneakers, especially high tops and she loved thick heeled boots of all kinds. Yes, Belladonna Rose was one of a kind. She was the first girl to make him wonder, what if he wasn't gay?
If heaven wasn't so far away
I'd pack up the kids and go for the day
Introduce them to their grandpa
Watch 'em laugh at the way he talks
I'd find my long lost cousin John
The one we left back in Vietnam
Show him a picture of his daughter now
She's a doctor and he'd be proud
Then tell him we'd be back in a couple of days
In the rear view mirror we'd all watch 'em wave
Yeah, and losing them wouldn't be so hard to take
If heaven wasn't so far away
I'd hug all three of those girls we lost from the class of '99
And I'd find my bird dog Bo and take him huntin' one more time
I'd ask Hank why he took those pills back in '53
And Janis to sing the second verse of "Me and Bobby McGee"
Sit on a cloud and visit for a while
It'd do me good just to see them smile
If heaven wasn't so far away
I'd pack up the kids and go for the day
Introduce them to their grandpa
Watch 'em laugh at the way he talks
I'd find my long lost cousin John
The one we left back in Vietnam
Show him a picture of his daughter now
She's a doctor and he'd be proud
Then tell him we'd be back in a couple of days
In the rear view mirror we'd all watch 'em wave
Yeah, and losing them wouldn't be so hard to take
If heaven wasn't so far
If heaven wasn't so far
If heaven wasn't so far away
So far away
So far away
All of Breadsticks erupted into claps and cheers as I finished my song. Looking up I saw Blaine clapping and smiling at me, he gave me a wink before waving me over to the table. Standing up I took a small bow, then I made my way over to the table where Blaine slid over and made room for me.
"That was great. I'm so proud of you." He said hugging me.
"Thank you." I said looking him in the eyes, only he knew that I wasn't just thanking him for his compliment.
Blaine then looked back up at his friend's who were curiously watching us both. "Okay, so everybody this is who I was telling you about. My new neighbor and friend, Belladonna. Bella this is my boyfriend Kurt, that's Finn and Rachel, Mercedes and Sam, Santana and Brittany, and this is Artie."
"Nice to meet you all." I said looking them each in the eyes, my shyness was slowly ebbing away thanks to Blaine.
We sat there nearly until closing time laughing and sharing stories, it was really nice to be around people that seemed to accept everyone. I guess that's what Glee was all about.
After saying goodbye to everyone I drove Blaine home, he was astonished as he saw my car. He didn't know much about cars, but he knew something beautiful when he saw it. The whole way he kept telling me that I needed to join the Glee club, and while a part of me wanted to sing again, I was still reminded that my singing is what killed my parent's.
I pulled into my driveway, bidding Blaine goodnight I went inside the house. Kissing my nana and papa I said goodnight before going upstairs and changing into my pajamas. As I laid in bed I thought about Blaine and what he had said on the drive home. "You are not to blame and I'm sure your parent's would not want you to give up on your dreams. Think of it this way, every time you sing, sing for them and know they can hear you."