You're In Love
This song belongs to Wilson Phillips, and the characters belong to Gundam Wing. There is one original character in this story and she is mine. It starts out from her point of view.
Remember, this is a 1xR fic, whatever it may look like at first.
Rating: Pg-13, just to be safe.
Song lyrics are underlined, and yes, Jess is in past tense and Relena is in present. I did that on purpose, and I sort of like it that way.
Open the door and come in
I'm so glad to see you my friend
I don't know how long it has been
Having these feelings again
Jess's POV
I've known Heero Yuy for about seven years. We met my sophomore year of college, when I was nineteen. He was barely seventeen then, but he already possessed infinitely more knowledge then I did. He was a junior, since he tested out of like a billion hours of classes. I still hate him for that. I can remember thinking when I met him that he would have a Masters in Engineering and I would still be struggling with my Bachelor's in Liberal Arts. Life is not fair.
He was handsome, with wild looking chocolate hair and gorgeous Prussian blue eyes. His cheek bones were high, his nose had with a slight turn up at the end, his lips were thin but nice looking, and he had a strong chin. He was well-built, to put it mildly, with well defined muscles covering his tall and brooding physique. It was hard to tell how tall he was, because he was most often slouching or bending over something with a look of concentration on his face. His hands were large and strong, and they were nearly always occupied. Except for those rare moments when he was sitting still, immersed deep in his own thoughts, Heero was always active.
He wasn't the most social guy I ever met, but I figured that it probably had something to do with the war. A lot of people had had bad experiences that left them dry, so I didn't hold it against Heero when he failed to speak to me once after four weeks of sitting next to each other in a History class. Heck, I even forgave him when he flatly ignored my request to borrow a pencil. What pissed me off was when I spent an entire half hour trying to strike up a conversation with him the day Professor Kramer was late. The guy completely blew me off. Far be it from me to force myself where I'm not wanted. I didn't talk to him again that semester. But that didn't stop me from watching.
I never go home during the winter holidays, mostly because the only thing to go home to is a sister that is always working and a cat. My father served in a division of the Alliance's ill fated forces and never came home. My Mom died in a building collapse caused by a nearby mobile suit explosion. Anyway, I usually stroll around campus when it's nearly deserted and take in the peaceful atmosphere. I swear, every time I went into the library, Heero Yuy was there reading some huge textbook full of complex formulas and words I didn't understand. I felt sorry for him, but I didn't approach. I spent Christmas at a friend's house that lived nearby and my sister even surprised me with a visit (she brought the cat). I had a great time, but the next morning as I went on my walk I couldn't help but notice that Heero Yuy was sitting outside the library in the cold.
I can still recall the exact conversation we had when he first decided to speak to me. Yuy had shocked me by being absent from class for what I was sure was the first time in his life. It turned out he had skipped to go watch some politician speak, but I wouldn't find out about her until later.
Anyway, he approached me confidently and said in a voice that was almost a perfect monotone, "I need the notes." Just like that. I'm sitting in a group of friends at a picnic table at the park and he expects me to drop everything and get him his notes. Heck, I didn't even know what he was talking about until I had sat there for a few minutes. I remember how he just stood there, waiting for a reply like he had all the time in the world and completely ignoring the presence of every other person around. He just made me want to take care of him. There was no other way to describe it. Here I am, not even certain he knows my name and I'm ready to do anything (within reason) to help the guy out. I offered to drive all the way to my apartment off campus and get them, and I asked him to come along. That was it. That was how I really met him.
After that he was a little easier to approach. Gradually, he became more and more of a conversationalist until finally I could take him along in a group of people with relatively few incidents. He was a great listener, a good study partner, and the best exercise buddy I have ever had. He was my best friend before I even realized what was happening. When he got sick of the dorms, he moved in with me. When I quit my job at the local video store, he drove around with me for six hours as I searched for new employment. He got his Bachelors and sure enough, he applied and was accepted to the Masters program (of course he was given a free ride). When I asked him why he wanted a Master's degree, he said, "It's just more school." Like that would explain everything, and with Heero it did.
By the time I managed to get my Bachelors (Liberal Arts, yes, I'm a bum), we had made my apartment more like home then my house with my sister had ever been. He even helped me decorate once I promised to start picking up after myself. Before I knew it, we were living in a place that was a unique blend of him and me. A nice blend of Spartan soldier and crazy college girl that somehow just worked.
I became a secretary, and as disorganized as I am I think I'm pretty good at it. Okay, so I'll never get Employee of the Month, but we can't all be Heero. Heero, in typical Heero fashion, merely grunted when I informed him of my choice in profession. By this time, however, I had managed to learn the language of Heero's grunts, and this one had a definite edge of disapproval. Apparently he thought I could do better. He had learned to expect a great deal from the women in his life, something that I would find out more about later.
We began to date when he turned twenty. Being roomies made that a little awkward, but before I knew it we had lapsed into this comfortable, happy routine that at the time seemed perfect. I knew I was not going to marry Heero. We were simply not that romantically involved. He was a comfy kind boyfriend that I could rely on, but not the love of my life. In fact, I would have thought we were still just friends if he hadn't of hopped into bed with me every now and then. Not that these encounters were not noteworthy. To bring up marriage with Heero would have been stupid anyway, because he would have thought I was asking him and probably said yes out of sheer kindness. Or duty. Or whatever it is he disguised his pity with.
We had been living like that for about two and a half years when a young woman about Heero's age showed up at the door. She was short, with honey blonde hair, lovely blue eyes and a brilliant, but obviously well practiced, smile that instantly disarmed everyone that looked at it. She was in a business uniform, her hair contained in a bun, and she carried herself like a proud but well mannered lady. Her hands were demurring clasped in front of her, an expectant look on her face. I was in my pajamas. It took me a minute to recognize her (I confess, I'm not all that involved in politics), but when I did I almost slammed the door shut in sheer mortification. This was the Foreign Minister, Relena Darlin and here I was without even a bra on.
She looked slightly embarrassed to see me so ruffled and I was quick to grab a coat from a rack near the door. "I'm looking for someone." She said kindly as I threw on the coat. I realized too late it Heero's, it was way too big. "But I think I have the wrong apartment. If you don't mind, could you tell me where Heero Yuy lives?"
Needless to say, I was a little surprised. I mean, what were the odds ANYONE came looking for Heero, much less an important diplomat? "Umm… Actually, he lives here." I said uncertainly. What was I supposed to do now?
"Oh…" She said, her posture dropping a fraction. She eyed the coat I was wearing suspiciously, something about it obviously disturbing her. And then it clicked. She was here because Heero was an old flame. Or maybe he was supposed to be a new flame. Either way, I could tell she was there to see Heero romantically and my being there was throwing a definite kink in the plan, especially since I was wearing his coat and not much else. I made a mental note to wrestle the story out of Heero later.
"Actually, he'll be home in a minute, would you like to come in?" I said, trying my hardest to be polite when I had a thousand burning questions in my head. I could have sworn I saw her eye tick when I said "home". I briefly considered saying we were just roomies, but lying to one of the most powerful women in the world did not seem like a smart thing to do.
She quickly regained her composure, plastered her smile on her face, and said, "No, thank you. Could you just tell him I stopped by?" I nodded my affirmative and she started to walk away down the hall. Then she turned back and said, "By the way, what was your name?"
I'm the other woman. I thought with some mirth. "My name is Jess McCullough. It's nice to meet you." Was giving her my real name a good idea? Would she have the Preventor's arrest me on some trumped up charge? She flashed her smile again and was gone before I could say anything else. I was going to clobber Heero when he got back.
But now I see that you're so happy
And it just sets me free
And I'd like to see
Us as good of friends
As we used to be
Relena's POV
I should have known. Of course he would have grown up. What were the odds he would still be single? He's a handsome, strong, kind and wonderful human being. What woman wouldn't want to be with him? It's not as though she was unattractive. She was messy and too skinny, but on the whole she was pretty. She may even be his wife. I didn't ask, what if they're married? She said her last name is McCullough, but what if she kept her name for her career? Not that she looks like a career woman. She looks like a lazy housewife and a sloppy one too. I know I shouldn't think badly of her, but it's hard not to when I think of her cooking breakfast for Heero, sharing a perfect little moment with him in the place that should have been mine. I wanted to be the one he ended up with so badly. Did I not make it clear to him how much he meant to me?
She seemed shocked to see me. Did he never tell her about me? Would she have looked that surprised if she had known about me? She's not very good at hiding her emotions, is that what Heero likes about her? She seems the reverse of me in every way… Her hair's black, she's tall, her manners are casual, her eyes and skin dark… Did he choose someone who looked the opposite of me on purpose?
I can't just let her tell him I dropped by and have that be the end of it. That would be cowardly of me, and I am never a coward. I can at least be his friend. Heero and I have history; he must care for me a little. I'm not going to just pass out of his life again; I won't make it that easy on him. I want him to look me in the face and tell me he doesn't love me. And what if she's not his wife? For all I know, she could just be his roommate. It happens! He wasn't even home when she was dressed like that; I could just have dropped in at a bad time! Now I'm rationalizing.
Why is it so terrible that he's with someone? I love him enough that I can be happy for him. He's living normally, and he's letting himself care about someone! That's more progress then most of his friends ever dreamed of him making. Maybe he needed to be away from us. Maybe he needed to escape the people who knew him too well and wouldn't believe him capable of change. He once asked me to believe in him, does he not think I did?
I'm going back there tomorrow, I have to see him. Whatever happens, I can't let him slip out of my life again.
Oh… My Love
Jess's POV
I awoke slowly, at first completely unaware of where I was. It was dark, and as I moved around I realized I was lying on the couch. I must have fallen asleep waiting for Heero to come home. Someone had covered me with a blanket, and I smiled slightly, thinking of Heero slowly covering me, of the disapproving look he must have had when he saw I was wearing his jacket. Then I remembered why I was wearing his jacket. I was going to kill him. Why hadn't he told me about her? He knew about my ex-boyfriends. I thought he had opened up to me. He could tell me about accidentally killing a little girl and blowing up a plane full of peaceful diplomats, but he couldn't talk about her?
I stood up as fast as I could, disentangling myself from the blanket and storming to Heero's bedroom door. It was dark under the door, telling me Heero was asleep. I had rid him of the habit of typing on his laptop in the dark long ago with the threat of buying him glasses and making him wear them.
I opened the door quietly. It was rare that I got to see Heero asleep and as angry as I was I did not want to miss this opportunity. I crept over to where he was lying, and I looked at him for a minute. He was usually much younger in his sleep, but this time his face was contorted slightly. He was dreaming. I reached out slowly, realizing I had never woken Heero while he was sleeping before. Right before my hand reached his chest, he sat bolt upright and grabbed a hold of my wrist with a cry.
His eyes were full of a wild rage, and the pressure he was exerting on my wrist was causing my eyes to water. Suddenly the pain became incredibly intense and I heard my wrist break with a nauseating snap. Almost immediately, he released me with a horrified look on his face.
I backed into the far corner of the room and collapsed sobbing, more from fear then pain. I heard him approach me and I looked up at him in terror. I had never been afraid of Heero, and only at that moment did I realize how completely ridiculous that was. He had been more then capable of snapping me in half for as long as I had known him. He was no different, and yet at the same time everything had changed. He was a threat.
He dropped to his knees in front of me, but made no move to touch me again. "Are you alright?" He looked damaged, weary, and most of all full of remorse. My fear melted away as quickly as it had come, and I nodded.
"I think so." I lied as fluidly as I could, but Heero saw through me as usual. He reached out tentatively and I let him see my wrist without hesitation. He was Heero again, not the monster that had attacked me.
"It's broken." His voice cracked as he said it, and he looked as though he was fighting the urge to vomit.
"I'm sorry; I shouldn't have woken you…" I trailed off at the look on his face. It was strange to see so much emotion on Heero's face, and I fleetingly wondered if this was even the same guy. Was this the man Relena was in love with?
"You're sorry?" He sounded perplexed, and I realized how completely ridiculous that statement must have sounded to him.
I laughed nervously. "I thought I might have scared you."
He blinked owlishly at me, then a small smile played on his lips before quickly disappearing. "You're not angry." It was a statement, not a question, but I nodded anyway. He stared in awe at me for a minute before shaking his head slightly. He gave me a look of the deepest appreciation I had ever seen, including the time I had rescued my sister's cat from the roof of her house. "You're not angry." He breathed lightly, disbelief still evident in his tone.
"I think I need to go see a doctor." I didn't want to bring it up, but the pain in my wrist was becoming unbearable. He immediately stood up, and as I moved to do the same he scooped me up into his arms. "I can walk." I said lightly, but I knew there was no sense in arguing. He gave me one look of disapproval before carrying me out to the car.
The emergency room was extremely crowded, and I had to wait six hours before the doctor could see me. Heero was scowling at everyone, enraged that things were not being run more efficiently. He kept looking at me out of the corner of his eye, either because he was worried about me or because he expected me to point at him and start screaming "He's the one! He did it!". Maybe it was both. I sought to reassure him on both counts as often as I could, but his doubt was clear. He called into my work for me, since the last thing I wanted to do was hear my boss threatening to fire me, and then he called his own job. I assured him that I wouldn't need him with me all day, but he didn't seem to believe and certainly didn't change his mind about the day off.
By the time I was released from the hospital and had visited the pharmacy, it was three in the afternoon.
You're in love
That's the way
It should be
'Cause I want you to be happy