Hey people! This is my first fanfic, so please go easy on me.
This is a oneshot set in Newmoon after Edward leave =(
If I owned the charactors, i wouldn't be posting it here, all credit goes to SM, blahblahblah...
R and R
There was a hole in my heart.
I could feel the dry aching; just screaming at me.
I needed him.
I needed him more then I needed water, food or even air. He was my whole world.
He broke my heart. He broke my life. He broke me.
But I still love him.
Why can't I find it in myself to hate him? Why does he make it so hard?
I love him even more now that he's gone.
He left a stain. My brain is now permanently stained by him.
How perfect he was; from his looks, to his sent, to his very name.
But I couldn't think about that.
He was gone. He disserves some better anyway.
I was just there to help him pass his time.
My blood may have been his drug, but I was so addicted to him. He was my personal brand of heroin.
He could have at least stayed in forks for a bit longer. So I could have some closer.
No.... That would have been worse. That would have been like setting a staving man in front of a table full of the world finest food; but not letting him touch anything.
I miss him. I love him.
But he doesn't feel the same way.
Edward.
Oh god.
NO!
I did not just think that name!
It's too late.
I'm braking down again.
I can feel the cold tears rushing from my eyes.
Cold…
Just like his touch.
Just like his heart…
"I'm sorry I wasn't good enough for you Edward…" I mumbled brokenly out to the nothingness that surrounded me…
Knowing I looked at my bed, it was too far away.
'Just sleep now Bella, your tired' the little voice inside my head whispered to me.
I wish I could fight the urge to listen to listen to that voice, I wish I had enough strength.
I wish he was here…
"I am going to be okay." I sullenly whispered to myself, trying to convince myself it was true.
I was lying.
If I never saw him again, I will live the rest of my life like this… Broken.
I hoarsely hummed the lullaby… The one he wrote for me…
'I am going to be fine.' I thought once more.
I let my eyelids drupe from the weight of the cold salty water they were carrying.
Sleep was good.
Sleep was safe.
Unless your broken, then its just full what made you that way…